"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it."
- Mark Twain.
Maybe I should pin this tweet and direct the contrarians whenever I criticise this govt...
Man.
A few years ago, I was drinking at this joint I normally drink at in G.R.A when this young waitress served. Looked all of 17 & it was quite late. I was a bit bothered. She looked way too young. So I asked her. She was 17. Pretty young girl...
She is doing her convocation on Friday. Ladies & gents; I'm flummoxed. Her name is Feyi & I had forgotten about her. Truthfully, I don't even recall her face again.
She is a graduate.
I win 2019, you heifers!
Obuasi...no light.
Tema...no light.
Aflao...no light.
Madina...no light.
Elmina...no light.
Yendi...no light.
Accra...light.
Yaay! We have light in Ghana! Nigeria doesn't have light.
Accra is 280,000 people, chale.
That's my estate.
And we have light.
Graduated from FUTA with 1st-Class honours & a degree in Physiology...
...ladies & gentlemen, I present to you, my friend (now) and light:
Feyi.
Bring 2020, Universe.
I'm ready.
Helped to unseat a King. Helped to install a King.
Became a King.
The GREATEST politician his tribe has ever produced.
Your cussing won't delete this tweet or change my mind.
#Greatness
Buried my aunty yesterday. We all stood there and watched the grave diggers fill up the hole her coffin was put in. Must have taken 10 minutes. Dead silence. You tend to think about life, in the presence of death.
Live well, my friends.
Live well.
You're a fucking journalist, man! Fucking hell! They said it in their appeal to the court! It was fucking reported! If you thought it was hogwash, fucking ask INEC questions! Don't fucking come on Twitter to feed the baying wolves with your half-baked conspiracy theories!
Ahan?!
If the VIO was REALLY about road worthiness, 95% of our buses and public transportation vehicles would be off the roads. Just say it as it is; you're back to extort us...
States that have been one party states since 1999:
1. Delta. (PDP)
2. Rivers. (PDP)
3. Bayelsa. (PDP)
4. Cross River. (PDP)
5. Akwaibom. (PDP)
7. Ebonyi. (PDP)
8. Enugu. (PDP)
But Lagos is the state in bondage.
Y'all got jokes...
You bully people on Twitter if they vote for a candidate you don't like.
Thugs bully people on the streets if those people vote for a candidate they don't like.
Stop complaining about election violence then because you sef for dey street.
Na education separate una...
I was prepared to jump on that Ministry of Finance handle "begging" Elon Musk for ventilators until I saw the Ukrainian embassy AND a former minister of health in Ukraine, "begging" as well.
Extraordinary times.
Means we should all take a step back & observe before reacting...
She calls me up the next day & her mom gets on the phone & starts praying for me. Truly embarrassing stuff. That was the last time I spoke with her or her mom. Fast forward to 10 minutes ago. She just called me. Said she lost my card but her mom just found it.
...but I asked her: "If you get money for these forms, you will stop doing this job?" She said; "Yes." So I dipped me hands & pulled out my lean stash. Gave her the loot & told her she could quit. I don't do appreciation. I don't know how to handle it.
...I could see her immediate future at that joint, with pervy old men like me drinking there, so I asked her why she wasn't in school. Familiar tale of no money so she was waiting tables until she could save up to buy forms for SSCE & JAMB. I don't remember how much it was...
Bayelsa triples Lagos in landmass but have about β of its population. How hard can it be for successive Governors; from Alamieyeseigha to GEJ to Sylva to Diri, to fucking build infrastructure there??!
Those four men have handled over one trillion between them, for eff's sake!
"Kenneth Okonkwo just made our work harder."
"Who told him to tweet?"
"Old man."
Most people aren't interested in changing things for the better or even searching for the truth. We just want to be the ones in charge.
"New World Order" but old techniques...
Fascinating conversation with an NGO person I know. I won't mention the name or the area of concern but here's what I found out:
Let's assume there's an NGO working to eradicate HIV in Nigeria. I use "HIV" because it's one disease that needs blood sampling. Funding from the U.S.
Dear
@BankyW
,
You can take a year's sabbatical. You've earned it.
But.
You've seen how the elections go in Nigeria.
Please, don't wait 'till 2022 to hit the streets.
God willing, we'll all be here.
Cheers.
Lemme explain bias.
A story like this; you don't ask yourself; "can four people push a train?" It's illogical. No. You don't ask. You run with it.
Peter Obi leaked phone call, you quickly say; "Deep fake!" even though it's more likely to be true.
That's bias.
Own it.
Lagos state posted videos of its Blue Line. The "usual" handles ignored it. A woman posted a video of the task force illegally(?) clamping her vehicle; outrage about how & why Lagos is fucked up.
There's got to be a name for this condition...
This, quite frankly, is the worst place I've been to today. I don't know who nominated "Iya Ibeji," but God bloody bless you!. It's a shack, she isn't home, but her two girls & a boy are so well-mannered!
I'm adding N5k to her package.
#FoodBank
Dear Intellectuals,
Yes, we wanted this govt. in because the last one didn't cut it. If this one doesn't cut it, we will try to vote them out.
That's democracy.
If you think we should swim & sink with our voting choices, you are the problem.
Not us.
Yours, A. Nigerian.
Went from Uyo to Ohafia. As soon as you leave Akwaibom & enter Abia, you'll know.
The road changes from smooth to terrible.
If you go through Arochukwu, you'll wonder why Abians do not carry placards every effin' day.
Terrible leadership...
Of course
@renoomokri
doesn't believe the rape story. Fraudsters usually stand by each other. Biodun's fraud might be different from Reno's fraud, but it's the same format. Very soon, Apostle Sule will join too.
Just wait...
GRV is a bigot.
It upsets you?
I'm sorry.
Let me rephrase it:
GRV is a fucking bigot.
I hope & pray he doesn't win on Saturday because I'll definitely be voting for Sanwo, but if he does?
He will still be a fucking bigot.
Hit ya heads on the walls...
If Desmond Elliot had lost his reelection bid, he would have been laughed at so hard, on Twitter, he would have deleted every social media handle he has.
He's a much bigger man than me because since that result was announced I would've been posting memes.
Two memes an hour...
I think ALL parents should look for their kids' social media handles & follow them incognito. These kids use them as diaries of sorts. You can always find out what's going on in their heads & their life. Too many kids suffering here...
M.I told Vector: "Read Psalm 1."
Psalm 1: Blessed is the man...or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers..."
Vector response: "Ecc. 10:8."
"Whoever digs a pit may fall into it. Whoever breaks through a wall may be bitten by a snake."
Appreciate these men!
Makes me wonder:
Just how much faulty data do we have in Nigeria? On a massive scale too?
One major reason why these numbers people throw around "offends" me.
"Malaria kills 55 Nigerians in a minute!"
It could be correct but forgive me if I don't believe you.
Cheers.
Heck! Vladimir Putin has been in power since 1999! 1st as Prime Minister then acting President, then President, then Prime Minister again, then President. 23 years & counting.
Oyibo pipu only have a problem if it's Africa...
Bola Ahmed Tinubu's trajectory is crazy. The man is getting sworn in as President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Must be goosebumps time for his family...
Three 16-year olds, two 11-year olds & one seven-year old in my house right now. All boys.
Bredren; they've eaten next month's budget in 24 hours.
Jesu...
Right.
We have come to the junction that your fathers & mothers got to; what next? Well, like the ones before you, you must make a decision. Do you, like the late great Tai Solarin, remove your protest clothes, wear a big agbada & accept the People's Bank job?
Do you?
"Armed thugs."
That's how it starts.
Next play is "Counter protests."
It's inevitable, Abuja bredren.
The only way now is for the
@PoliceNG
to announce investigation & prosecution of those police officers who killed protesters.
#EndSWAT
Ese Brume & Tobi Amusan should be getting sponsorships right, left & center. Add Odunayo Adekuoroye & Blessing Oborodudu and you've got Nigeria's most consistent athletes in the last five years.
I'm hoping corporates will jump on them...
Ikeja Along bus stop tonight. Those effin' buses caused traffic. As usual. One Airforce security team were blowing siren beside me. No dice. Two of them with guns & whips came down & flogged a few bus drivers. Road cleared.
This democracy no jus fit us.
Multiply Senator Amosun with as many Governors, ex-Governors & any other political wannabe in Nigeria & you can understand militancy, Boko Haram, kidnappings and armed robbery in Nigeria...
The abuse Seyi Law gets is ridiculous though.
It's become online bullying but his mental health isn't a worry because he isn't a part of the cool kids' bandwagon.
Reason why I give what I receive.
Anybody papa.
@kunleeko
Banter aside; we all go through the same issues. But.
Nigerians are like that kid you flog amongst a group of kids but he will cry loudest. E go come be like say na him chop beating pass.
African leaders shortchange us.
A lot.
Na we dey cry pass.
Dear President
@MBuhari
,
Over 50 soldiers killed. It is unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. This was the cornerstone of your 2015 campaign. It is unacceptable, sir. Soldiers are dying. If your service chiefs can't do the job, remove them.
This is unacceptable, sir.
Epic level of bullshit. ALL the Igbo people I know in Lagos not only speak their language totally, but try to speak Yoruba as well. The problem with "Brilliance" & being told you are brilliant constantly is; you must always drop 'profound' words.
Ending SARS is immaterial. It's just a unit. It can be shut down right now & another will take its place. The problem is with our
@PoliceNG
personnel. They are the problem. "SARS" is just clothes & clothes do not make the man...
Dear +375 1511 95-439,
I don't know anybody in Belarus and if I did, they would not flash, four days straight.
They would bloody call!
Plus Trucaller identifies you as "Scam."
I dun have money.
Tell "Titi" from Chad with number +235 97 03 11 48 too.
Tenks.
Yours, No Maga
This whole "Tinubu won't be respected in America" thing; who started it? Man has traveled to the U.S as Governor & as a private citizen in the past. When did the whole "...he can't get a visa..." start?
Genuine curiosity...
Bayelsa. Population about 1.8 million with eight LGAs. In March this year, it received N13.2 billion from FAAC. Only Delta & Rivers received more. Yet they owe salaries & pensions for months.
Ain't life just grand?
Fuel stations will just decide not to sell. The ones who do sell will use only one pump.
We don't deserve a democracy, in truth. We need jackboots on our backs and whips. Frog jumps and immediate justice.
The Super Eagles have, perhaps, the worst coach in African football. I use the word "Perhaps" because the football coach in my son's school, Mr. Fatoki, can be awful with his selection. If Mr. Fatoki gets his selection right, Jose Peseiro will be the undoubted worst in Africa.
Banky W. is running for office??! Bloody good show! Whether he wins or not is immaterial; he is running. That's how you put your money where your mouth is! He might even be a great lawmaker sef. Shii.
I stan.
So I entered this spa near my house & asked about a massage for my knees. The woman, who I coulda sworn is probably a few years younger, said; "Daddy, is it arthritis?"
"Daddy" plus "arthritis."
Look ehn, I'm shedding hot tears
See how people are at each other's throats here, because of politics. Insults, blocks et al. People you know nothing about. Then you sneer at thugs fighting when they meet on the streets because of politics.
Y'all are the "intellectual" MC Oluomo & Kunle Poly.
E-thugs.
If Tinubu pulls this off today, he'll probably go on to win next year AND become the greatest politician the SW ever produced.
Unarguably.
p.s: it's just my opinion.
Calm ya tits, you wankers.
It needs to be said. Again. DO NOT JOKE ABOUT KILLING A SITTING PRESIDENT. Ever. Never.
βWhere national security is threatened or there is the real likelihood of it being threatened, human rights or the individual right of those responsible takes second place.β
- Supreme Court.
A very happy birthday to Mr. President,
@MBuhari
! I've been a huge fan since 1984 & truly believe you mean well for Nigeria. You've had quite a few missteps since 2015 but I still believe you can lay the foundation of a stronger country. Better ministers in 2019, sir!
God bless.
Oga Harry. You're not voting for him. Why do you want him to talk to you? We who will vote for him are cool with him. Vote for the person that is talking to Arise TV & leave Tinubu. If he loses, he loses.
@temiokomi
Na so we used all armoury to shield Buhari in 2014-15 but we know what it has turned out. Sophistry! Town Hall, town hall, let him even appear on NTA, Wetin una dey hide. Chatham House of delegated response? Haba!
After seeing yet another tragic video of someone in The Abroad crying after finding out their relative duped them in the guise of building a property back home for them, I've decided to start an agency that will help verify your building in Naija.
It's just terrible.
Twitter noise though. Deji Adeyanju has been tweeting crazy for a long time. He decides to stage a protest & is arrested. He is immediately arraigned in a court of law & remanded in prison. He needs super lawyers not super tweets.
Your insults won't change my tweet too.
*shrug*
Early morning; loudspeaker on the street & over 30 minutes of preaching. On a work day. If you complain, you're of the Devil.
Religious people are the most intolerant humans on planet Earth...
Oyibo will buy a car in 2007. Drive it until 2017 then sell it. Shock absorbers will still be working. My guy will buy that car and bring it to Lagos in June 25, 2018. July 6, 2018, shock absorbers don waka. If I say I want to sue govt. now, you pipu will laff at me.
ππ
I'm no fan of Deji Adeyanju, but it's a little unfair to keep him locked up now. Help him,
@MBuhari
&
@ProfOsinbajo
. Get somebody to look at his case. It's the right thing to do...
Okay. In the next few days, I'll be writing thoughts from my head on the Opera News Hub. As many of you know, these thoughts can be silly.
Humour me.
Cheers.
Nothing saddens more than the ethnic conversations whenever these tragedies happen. Everybody & their mama will just enter their tribal/religious tent & start tweeting/posting/saying the most stupid things they can think of.
Like clockwork.
Every fucking time.
Tiring.
If we could vote for the Inspector-General of
@PoliceNG
, Mr. Disu of the RRS would have my vote. Professional in his conduct, approachable and empathetic.
Now that the furore has died down, General Buratai got an unfair shake, if you think about it. The man inherited a demoralized army from the inept General Minimah, & a war that the country was getting a beating from.
He managed to turn it around.
That's life though...
My son's award just dropped. I won awards in primary school but this nicca is winning awards in Uni.
Boy just wants my heart to burst with pride, I tell you...
So. If we all take it as a given that the PDP "owns" the SS/SE, why do we argue about the APC "owning" a region? Results coming from the SS/SE seem to be all about clean sweeps for the PDP. They must really love them there because they don't rig...
ππ
I'm mad at myself because I honestly believed in
@MBuhari
. I never did it for money or anything. I just believed he was the right man at those times.
Sad to see he's allowed this get here.
So most of my tweets are misplaced anger.
At myself.
31 medals so far for Nigeria, at the Commonwealth Games. 10 of those medals are gold too. If we had kept the women behind, we would have just eight medals.
Not one gold medal.
Again; Nigerian women are fire & I'm an unashamed groupie.
#TeamNigeriaCWG2022
Tinapa, allegedly, cost $450 million. In 2007, that's about N56 billion naira. That's N162 billion today. That place, to all intents & purposes, is dead. Can our governors bloody well concentrate on providing INFRASTRUCTURE for their people & just leave Dubai alone??!
People who denied Chibok and supported GEJ are now Dapchi activists.
People who flayed GEJ for Chibok are now asking for understanding for Buhari.
We slept & woke up in the Upside Down World...
I agree.
The Supreme Court should step down too. Let's allow the people judge these election cases.
Aggrieved political candidates should just meet at Eagle Square & whoever wins in wrestling should win the election...
In all of the noise, let's not forget:
1.
#EndSARS
.
2. Genuine
@PoliceNG
reforms.
3. Lekki Tollgate: What REALLY happened?
4. Panel is supposed to answer these questions. Not confirm suspicions or allegations.
Peace.
Where were you in 1982? I saw the last time Ghana won AFCON & I'm Nigerian.
Two of my pikin don see Super Eagles win am live.
Your papa gist you about una own.
Dem no dey make that style of AFCON trophy again o!
The man wey do am don die since 1985.
Groups like the Feminist Coalition have shown an amazing knack for organisation. Those types of groups can morph into political organisations (not parties) & become important political lobbyists. Don't be afraid to do it.
Just do it.
The ways to win a war are plenty.