Tell Ya 🌸 @telliabear Twitter profile

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Tell Ya 🌸

@telliabear

3 years

#WhenIRanOutOfGas just leave me here

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Tell Ya 🌸

@telliabear

4 years

Neil Armstrong is an alien #IsAConspiracyTheory

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@telliabear

4 years

Aliens take on the form of hairless cats to live among us. #IsAConspiracyTheory

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@telliabear

4 years

The Titanic sinking was a giant insurance scam #IsAConspiracyTheory

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@telliabear

5 years

Clueless responses #SextsYouWouldNeverSend

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@telliabear

4 years

Crop Circles are used as territorial signals for "get off my lawn" to other alien invaders #IsAConspiracyTheory

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@telliabear

6 years

#AsAKidBeingRichMeant getting to have real hamburger and hotdog buns instead of using bread as substitute.

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@telliabear

6 years

#TwitterLifeVersusRealLife Twitter: Have time to think of a clever response Real Life: Mumble something unintelligible

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@telliabear

4 years

My neighbors that only come out at night #TurnedOutToBeEvil

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@telliabear

5 years

Always helping me with work #MyPetIn5Words

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@telliabear

4 years

#FakeMarijuanaFacts it's one the secret herbs and spices

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@telliabear

4 years

#AtKarensGarageSale she tries to sell her hoarded toilet paper at a marked-up price

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@telliabear

3 years

#IWishPeopleWouldStopAskingMe how I am feeling

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@telliabear

3 years

Princesses Gone Wild #DisneyPlusAfterDark

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@telliabear

4 years

There will be pancakes #Make2020BetterIn4Words

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@telliabear

7 years

#UsesForLeftoverFruitcake Build a wall around Betty White to keep her safe.

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@telliabear

4 years

#WhenThisIsAllOver we are gonna be blinded by the sun when we finally leave the house

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@telliabear

1 year

#CanYouPleaseQuit the 4 AM wake-up call

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@telliabear

6 years

#WeAllHaveThatOneFriend Who you don't talk to for months, but you're imediately on the same page when you see them.

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@telliabear

3 years

#WomenFantasizeAbout eating anything they want and not gaining weight

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@telliabear

4 years

#SexSoLoudThat the hotel front desk staff have given me multiple warnings to be quiet

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@telliabear

6 years

#StrangeWaysToAnswerThePhone Vandelay Industries

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@telliabear

4 years

My new assistant slacks too much #MyQuarantineInSixWords

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@telliabear

5 years

#SignYouKnowYoureGettingOlder You're on Twitter Saturday night instead of out at the club, and are perfectly happy about it

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@telliabear

4 years

#DuringSexDontWorryAbout how your face looks

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@telliabear

6 years

The Pizza guy looks around your living room and offers to take the empty pizza boxes to the trash. #SignsYouveGivenUp

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@telliabear

7 years

#ThingsLifeGuarantees when you're in a rush to get somewhere, every light is red.

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@telliabear

6 years

Who cuts the f*cking lawn at 6am on a Sunday?! #ThingsISayInBed

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@telliabear

3 years

They really frown upon sleeping inside the tent display model #GotMeBanned

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@telliabear

3 years

#MyCreepyNeighbors are always standing in front of my house

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@telliabear

5 years

Sleeping in your own bed after weeks of travel #MightBeBetterThanSex

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@telliabear

4 years

Existing seems to do it #DissapointYourFamilyIn5Words

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@telliabear

6 years

#HumbleBragAboutSomething I just baked a chocolate cream cheese stuffed cake and it might be edible.

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@telliabear

5 years

I wanna bang to the Little Mermaid soundtrack tonight #SextsYouWouldNeverSend

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@telliabear

6 years

#SignsYourVacationIsTooLong You start welcoming new arrivals to the resort like you own the place.

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@telliabear

4 years

I can now get back to my regularly scheduled disappointment the other 364 days of the year #WhyImGladChristmasIsOver

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@telliabear

3 years

I was excited that my new cat-themed oven mitts arrived #SignsYoureMiddleAged

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@telliabear

5 years

#IfFoundPleaseReturnMe to an upright position

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@telliabear

5 years

Kick your partner in the face while changing positions #WorstThingToDoDuringSex

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@telliabear

4 years

#IDidntKnowMyKinkWas greying beards

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@telliabear

6 years

Touching thermostat without permission #GetMeHotIn4Words

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@telliabear

4 years

#ThingsICanNoLongerDo Trust Many People

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@telliabear

7 years

Go anywhere near the BBQ while he's grilling, and offer tips. #waystoannoyyourdad

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@telliabear

4 years

Running low on milk #UseTheWrongPicture

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@telliabear

4 years

There's a dancing hot dog beside your bed trying to brainwash you it's a sandwich #SignsYouMightBeDreaming

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@telliabear

4 years

Now Open for Winter! #BreakingNewsFromCrystalLake

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@telliabear

4 years

Pick your top 3 - Leave the rest behind.

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@telliabear

4 years

The UPS man delivers more than packages #MySouthParkMemories

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@telliabear

5 years

#DuringSexDontYellOut Hurry up, I'm missing the Game!

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@telliabear

6 years

#OverheardAtJurassicPark Where's Newman?

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@telliabear

3 years

Why is no one ever wet when they have just come out of the water? #MovieErrorsThatBugMe

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@telliabear

6 years

#OdeToMyCoffee Some like you hot, Some like you cold, I'll still drink you from the pot 2 days old.

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@telliabear

4 years

#NotEveryoneKnowsThisBut Ernie doesn't have eyebrows

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@telliabear

4 years

Friday Nights Will Be Movie Night #BreakingNewsFromCrystalLake

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@telliabear

3 years

Nothing says, "I Love You" more than a box of nuggets #FakeChickenNuggetFacts

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@telliabear

3 years

Energy to party all night and go straight to work at 6am #ThingsIMissAboutMy20s

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@telliabear

5 years

#WaysToScareYourDate Bring your puppet and let it answer questions for you

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@telliabear

5 years

#IfIWentToPrison I'd have to quickly decide which gang to join

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@telliabear

5 years

#ThingsIFindAttractive graying beards and glasses

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@telliabear

6 years

If I don't wash my hair, how much longer can I sleep in? #ThoughtsBeforeFallingAsleep

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@telliabear

5 years

Less patience for bullshit #GettingOlderIn5Words

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@telliabear

5 years

#ItsNotIllegalBut drowning yourself in perfume should be

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@telliabear

3 years

@ClintK64 Do you have your mom's permission yo use this account? 😂

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@telliabear

4 years

Going for thirds on Thanksgiving #WasABigMistake

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@telliabear

6 years

#ItsMondayEveningSo that means it's trashy reality TV night.

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@telliabear

3 years

#WomenFantasizeAbout burning stuff

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@telliabear

3 years

Mistress of Evil 😈 #DisneyPlusAfterDark

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@telliabear

4 years

I see your cock likes getting wet #NotAsDirtyAsItSounds

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@telliabear

5 years

Oh, a girl can dream.... #ByThisTimeNextYear

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@telliabear

7 years

Nowhere to put my keys #nudistcolonyproblems

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@telliabear

4 years

Park it in the rear #NotAsDirtyAsItSounds

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@telliabear

5 years

#ImNotAJerkBut I don't share my snacks

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@telliabear

2 years

#WhenZombiesArrive how will we know the difference?

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@telliabear

4 years

Saw this on the back of their spaceship #SignsAliensAreReal

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@telliabear

2 years

Beware of Snow sharks ! #MyMajorAnnouncement

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@telliabear

4 years

When you don't hear from them in 3 months, but they say they really missed you #YouKnowYoureASidePieceWhen

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@telliabear

3 years

One of these is not like the other

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@telliabear

7 years

Texas Chainsaw Instruction Video #MakeAMovieBoring

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@telliabear

3 years

What's your favorite song with the word ROCK in the title? Or comment with your fav. #RandomPoll *Queen, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, AC/DC, KISS

We Will Rock You

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I Love Rock 'n' Roll

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For Those About to Rock

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Rock and Roll All Nite

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@telliabear

6 years

Watch for them to come out night, they are most active then #HowToCatchAnIntrovert

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@telliabear

2 years

Do you mind if my friend watches while you do me? #HeardInAHairSalonAndDuringSex

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@telliabear

6 years

#TwitterLifeVersusRealLife Twitter - what's up! what's everyone doing? Real life - don't bore me with the details of your weekend.

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@telliabear

3 years

Taking Control #MyFavoriteThingAboutSex

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@telliabear

4 years

Making lines on the carpet when vacuuming #BoringThingsThatExciteMe

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@telliabear

3 years

It stresses you out #SignsYouShouldQuitYourJob

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@telliabear

5 years

#InstantTurnOns A man who can cook

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@telliabear

5 years

How old were you when you realized Ernie doesn't have eyebrows?!

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@telliabear

5 years

Your cat's hair stands up for no reason #SignsYourHouseIsHaunted

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@telliabear

4 years

#ItReallyTurnsMeOnWhen things start up under the table

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@telliabear

3 years

#DontTrustPeopleWho the cat does not trust

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@telliabear

3 years

#IfMarsAttacks maybe some new relationships will form

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@telliabear

2 years

Look what I can do!!

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@telliabear

4 years

#HubbleJustDetected a heart shaped moon

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@telliabear

3 years

Happy 4th Birthday Lincoln 🎂 All grown up!

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@telliabear

3 years

Make a big entrance #MyBestAdviceIn4Words

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@telliabear

4 years

They went to check out some strange sounds in the cornfield #AndTheyNeverCameBack

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@telliabear

6 years

#BadReasonsToGetACat To pick up chicks.

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@telliabear

5 years

#ByYour30thBirthday Go to a nude beach while your body still looks good

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@telliabear

3 years

Feelin' a little Devilsh Tonight 😈

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