Swati Sachdeva @swatisachdeva95 Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Here’s the link to my upcoming live shows, India tour:

66

17

871

Last Seen Profiles

@Nick_Greatens

@Nueve_Kanok

@buttpalace8

@Isabell13826418

@marmite

@OhioState_ATP

@WarapronPoktang

@Hailey026879200

@taylicent

@jupitersinha

@xijf9681

@KikeBravoPrado

@HoodieAllen

@JeddNewsome

@aryprasetiyo007

@Mathys_Tel

@cosasdemmn1

@davtendell

@cosasdemmn1

@jandakembangstw

@KurtisWolford

@Mashavi007

@Gabriella253632

@AFCRex_

@Sophia847997115

@GiselleSA_MDPhD

@mekky_

@Davai_Aslan

@UlisesQ85956457

@BobSchwaller

@CoachHarbaugh

@Fravoccado

@haossence

@suisou220

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Men have an Instagram post from after tuition class with their buddies in 2014 and then bam, next post, they are hitched.

98

501

12K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Cigarette chordne ke liye vape shuru ki thi, ab vape chordne ke liye phir cigarette shuru kar di h.

498

435

11K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

11 months

Turned 28 yesterday, ab to mujhe bhi apni shadi ki fikar hone lagi hai.

1K

219

10K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Jinhe quarantine me sex mil raha, thoda moan humari taraf se bhi kar dena bhai.

276

775

7K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Anupama me LGBT episode aayega tabhi mummy manengi ye sach me hota hai.

72

269

6K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

These fast chargers are toxic, 10mins break and your phone is ready to waste your time again.

78

411

6K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Girls after arrange marriage, ‘inka nature bahot acha hai actually.’

140

261

6K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

My first video is out and it’s precious! Pls share and show some love #PrideMonth #loveislove #standupcomedy

158

440

4K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Single log uth te hi bed ki side pe apna phone dhundte hai..

154

156

4K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Bhai Kuch rishtedar abhi bhi puch lete hai kaunsi class me ho..

203

166

4K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

It’s fine if the government can track me, mummy ko mat batana bass.

32

93

2K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

10 months

Adulthood is realising, mood jitna bhi kharab ho agar sabzi khatam hai to lene jana hi padta hai.

42

143

2K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Only moms can say ‘come fast and drive slow’ in the same sentence.

49

120

2K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Apni saari khaamiyon ko human nature bol ke aage badd jane ka.

36

148

2K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

The worst thing about a baby crying on a plane is that the windows don’t open.

77

68

2K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 months

My girlfriend and I are not able to keep full time help because it’s hard to pretend to be sisters all day long.

48

18

1K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Cut to one month later! 1 f*cking crore views on my YouTube stand-up debut, ‘Love is Love’. Thankful to each one of you for showing love and support ❤️

34

29

1K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

It’s hard to be gay, it’s harder to be the first child and be gay.

53

34

1K

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Tiddio ne aaj Delhi pahuchna tha, mausam itna badia ho gaya ki wo Murthal nikal gayi.

21

79

918

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

बिखरने का मुझको, शौंक है बढ़ा समेटेगा मुझको, तू बता ज़रा ? #Qala

29

50

927

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Netflix pe hindi movie dekhne ka koi fayeda nahi, sab English me hi baat kar rahe hote.

18

34

917

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

People with great memory do nothing except freaking and creeping you out with your own past.

21

43

898

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

Dukh jitna bhi ho, itna kama lo ki therapy afford kar sako.

7

84

796

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

People be commenting, ‘CHHORD nahi hota, CHHOD hota hai, bhai pehle to ye batao English me Hindi galat kaise likh rahi mai?! CHAWDO tum ho hi velle.

29

11

766

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Total 8 visits to banks and post offices in a span of 2 months aur mera Aadhar, phone se link nahi ho paa raha. Permanent server down rehta hai bhai is desh ka.

103

17

759

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

My friends are sending me photos of their karwachauth and I haven’t felt more unmarried in my pyjamas before.

14

17

762

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Han bhai sabke hi school se nikalne ke baad hi kharab hua school ka mahaul, ‘last best batch the hum’, sure!

14

34

680

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

6 months

Diwali ke liye ghar aayi thi, saare kalesh revise kar ke wapis jaa rahi hoon.

15

38

684

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Relatives remind you to get married as if aap bhool gaye ho shadi karana.

19

31

626

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

If you take that whiskey glass away from them, men will be out of poses for pictures.

26

9

581

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Hate prodigies man, every field, they are just born & ready to succeed, I am inspired from losers who work on themselves..everyday.. to become little less losers! That’s goal bitches, becoming little less losers, everyday!

10

40

493

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

In that age where only my career upsets me now.

12

28

502

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Gareebo ko jitni bhi dikkat ho life me, phone me caller tune barabar lagwate hai.

9

29

469

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Haha

YouTube India

@YouTubeIndia

1 year

POV: you realised you were using mobile data instead of wifi

26

33

577

6

443

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 months

Lagbhag ek saal ho gaya hai maa baap ka ghar chorde, aur kitni bhi baar waha wapis chale jao, it’s never the same. Naye haalaton me purane jazbaat dhundti rehti hu par kuch haasil hota hi nahi hai, bas yaadein.

13

20

451

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

My first stand-up video is out and it’s precious! Pls share and show some love. #lgbt #pridmonth #bisexuals #standupcomedy

22

45

415

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Sardio me realise hota hai ki dinn me 2 baar brush garmio me hi kar lena chahiye tha.

10

390

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Maine mohobbat pe kaam kia hai, sirf mohobbat ka kaam nahi kia hai. Galti kari ek , sabak hazar dafa lia hai. ~Swati Sachdeva

11

17

390

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

I don’t think new iPhone cameras are getting better, wo pichle wale kharab karta rehta h

10

9

388

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Vaccine bhi shayad isi darr se nahi aa rahi ki ban hi na ho jayein.

6

33

388

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

8 months

I thought I have seen the worst WhatsApp groups & then saw my daadi has one called ‘cremation updates.’

7

13

381

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Don’t know why, but I feel mad at my best friend for getting married.

17

4

373

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Sardia aa rahi aunty, bas wax laga ke chord do ab.

4

10

358

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Winters’ sleeping mantra to tell yourself: So ja, nahi to susu aa jayega.

7

10

362

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

What is this pressure to go ‘awww’ every time you meet a bride?! I wanna tell most of them, han theek lagg rahi ho.

16

10

355

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Patani group me ek dost ki shadi ho jaye baki pura group virgin lagne lagta hai.

10

6

352

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

7 months

Mai same sex marriage ke liye nayi muheem shuru karungi, support ‘Humari Mange Poori Bharo.’

11

4

351

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

11 months

Life seems to be a journey between ‘yay garmi Ki chhuttiyan aa gayi’ to ‘bachho ki garmi ki chhuttiyan chal rahi hai.’

5

9

342

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Ab mere aur lover ki income me itna difference ho Gaya hai Ki maine usse phone gift kia tha aur usne mujhe cover..

12

1

341

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

11 months

The first time you hold a baby, is the first time you realise that you have the power to kill someone, but you don’t, in most cases, and that’s how you know you’re a good person.

27

4

340

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

6

14

335

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Aaj big boss se phone aya, maine to bol diya mai kuch kaleshan nahi hu aap meri girlfriend try keejiye.

9

5

339

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 months

Ladke nail polish laga rahe hai , good for them, sadak pe mootna kab band karenge..

30

20

343

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Maine ghamand me kisi ko ‘keep the change’ bol diya ho kabhi to wapis kar do yaar pls.

11

6

330

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

Muje bhot deep feeling hai ki kutte insano ko lodu bulate honge.

8

14

329

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Madame se ek baar 2013 me kapde liye the, abhi tak har saal bday wish karte hai.

9

5

315

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Jab bana hi rahe the to 4100/- bhi ek sagan rakh hi lete yar.

14

4

298

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Corporate Pandemic 2020 Salary - aadhi le lo Kaam - double le lo

11

57

303

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Got my hair coloured for the first time, now I really miss when a haircut went wrong.

9

1

298

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Wo gynae hi kya jo personal na ho..

6

2

293

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

For once, ek teer se ek nishana laga le Pls?!

12

13

282

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Meri life me break hi chal rahi hai yar, wo to beech me kabhi kabhi schedule aata hai.

2

21

272

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Patriarchy has done such a good job, even I check on the street if the bad driver was a woman. 😏

6

13

266

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Sarkar pe bhi chhutte khatam ho gaye the lagta hai..

4

5

269

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

10 months

No matter where we go in the country, construction follows. It’s like the drilling machine is aiming for our asshole.

12

3

267

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

How many Diwali party invites you get is the adult version of how many friendship bands you got.

16

7

259

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

I cover up for my weird personality by saying, ‘arey artist log aise hi hote hai.’

9

17

250

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

My parents still try to be my friend, kaise mumkin hai ye? Ye kaise dost hai jinka aashirwad mere sath hai..!

8

7

248

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Thank god machhar zyada ho gaye hai, ab unhe marne me aadha din chala jata hai.

16

18

235

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Babies wake up from their nap like ‘kaunsa janam chal raha hai ye’🥵

1

12

234

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

Agar koi bol de ‘Good question, Swati!’, bas uske baad mujhe ghanta farak nahi padta jawab me kya hai.

1

8

236

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Just an update, I purchased Apple iPhone 11 this year, and it’s still the latest iPhone. Thanks.

5

228

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

True - Short - Sad Story I was in the queue to board my flight and a fan bumped into me, went all like ‘love your work, so glad we are in the same flight’, and yes we were in the same flight! Except he went into business class..

7

3

224

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

10 months

Call your best friend, confess how much you’re in love with them, end up kissing, happy friendship day, best ever.

8

3

218

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

Petrol bharwa ke ghar aao, utne me hi gaadi reserve pe chali jaati hai.

9

223

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

8 months

Jab bhi kuch galat kar rahe ho, maa ka message aya hota hai ‘kya kar rahe ho beta?!’ 🙃

12

6

224

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

9 months

Is Twitter still open to video content? . Follow on Instagram for more frenz ✨

18

11

218

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

11 months

Parents don’t switch the channels if an adult scene comes on tv now, par adults straight hone chahiye.

6

5

219

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

11 months

Sometimes you hire a CA and he starts respecting you after checking your bank statement.

9

4

218

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Netizens are not too far from ‘oh hey checkout my first masturbation everrr vlog’

11

4

209

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

Frustrated hour!

10

9

200

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Secondary school me aate hi bachhe water bottle laana band kar dete hai, batao, iss desh me paani peena bhi uncool hai.

7

15

202

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 months

30 is not a big shocker, 29 is, that’s the last time you’ll be saying twenty before your age.

6

8

206

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Aadhe ghante ki client meeting ek ghanta isliye bhi chalti hai kyunki sabko bc English me point rakhna apna.

4

12

205

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Problem with feminism is ki ladke girl cut nahi karate.

14

3

202

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

Startup idea: ek aisi chappal banani hai, jo ulti padi ho, to apne aap seedhi ho jaye.

11

3

203

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Miniso ka staff is so slow, unki cheezein billing ke queue me hi expire ho jaati hai.

3

2

201

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

At least mere dad Ki generation accept karti hai wo patriarchs hai, ye ajkal ke fake feminist ladke, masaledar hypocrisy le ke ghoom rahe.

5

12

202

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

3 years

Hello! Seems like I’m less busy than I should be, well that’s how freelancing works. Hit me up for any kind of writing work. RT would help too. Past Clients - Netflix YouTube, Wunderman Thompson, chrome studios, idiva and more!

2

21

196

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Society should be more offended by same sex marriage not being made legal. It is encouraging couples to be in a live in relationship, which was the worst idea in the first place..!

12

6

192

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Room ka AC chalakar, washroom me ja ke baithne me kuch alag sa sukoon hai.

17

5

196

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Aam janta itni darr gayi hai, ek dost apne dealer se, snapchat pe drugs mang raha.

1

10

190

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Net banking se paise bhejo to repeat transaction ka option to aise dete hai jaise passion hai mera logo ko paise bhejna.

2

12

196

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

1 year

Couples who have a common bachelor party, pretend they are short on budget but actually, friends.

4

2

190

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 months

Doctor log role play me kya bante hai ?

49

6

188

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

4 years

Comedy me itna paisa hai ki yaad rehta hai, haan kamaya tha 1 baar.

1

180

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

8 months

Mehnat karne se pehle nahi socha tha ki agencies category B influencer bulayengi.

6

2

182

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

2 years

Mumbai me baarish ki khabar sunn ke Dilli wale monsoon mana lete hai..

9

4

170

Swati Sachdeva

@swatisachdeva95

6 months

Match to sad ho hi raha tha, Dominoz ne order bhi cancel kar diya, har taraf haar hi haar mili.

5

4

176