aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow? @suicidepussy Twitter profile

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@neilDolphin3

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

I suffered from erectile dysfunction for many years. My wife and i were at the end of our rope! I tried everything: testosterone, pills, diet, exercise, even hypnosis! Nothing worked. Until I discovered 1 Crazy Life Hack that gets me rock stiff every time. kissing and fucking men

194

7K

96K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Her: ur gonna love him, funniest guy I know!😂 Me: ok, Friend, walking in: *budweiser frog voice* wazzzuuuuup *Peter Griffin voice* freakin sweet to meetya *Seinfeld voice* whats the deal, w our plans tonight? *Ron Swanson voice* are we grilling steaks *Jim Carrey voice* or smoki

106

3K

51K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Guy who hasn't gone full day w/o suicidal ideation in 17 years "bro trust me. u dont need pills. Listen. Each morning, one handful of acai berries. Then 200 grams protein for lunch & 1 floret of broccoli for however many cigs you smoke. Every other day, jerk off imagination only,

90

2K

37K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Lot of women are genuinely v proud of their ability to a suck cock. Ok..? Learn to code

130

1K

19K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

I can drink probably 20 coors lights and still be mostly fine. Just sit on my couch smiling blankly at youtube until its time to diarrhea out the beer. But if I drink 2 of those 16oz ipas w cartoons on the label I will start writing 10 page love letters crying all over the paper

34

703

15K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

75% of times u watch movie w a girl she'll turn to you as credits roll and ask about some important scene/detail from way earlier that makes it clear theyve had basically no idea what's going on the past hour or so. just been sitting staring at the pictures like a dog or cat does

114

596

11K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Bunch of rappers right after 9/11 " 🎶 new york! whoever hit our buildings, we coming for yall Bunch of rappers ~2 years after 9/11 "🎶 I'm bin laden of my block, whole crew Taliban

29

493

10K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

wheb u drink 14 beers and start walking around ur apartment like ps2 era npc

8

735

10K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

46

755

8K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

My cock is fine. it's the world that's broken

15

947

7K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

In the womb with a little gran turismo racing wheel steering my mom into the liquor store

22

744

6K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Double masked getting j&j shot to complete pfizer-moderna vaccine superstack, taking hrt pills before bed. Waking up covered in a hard, glistening exoskeleton, extra legs, my brain on fire w the message "home". Scuttling out to the coast and swimming 5.5k miles directly to israel

32

543

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

19

413

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Wow this is blowing the frick up if you are a female in the new england area and willing to have sex with me dm me immediately i have seven thousands followers and I am 5'6 and i am mentally allergic to condoms dm me now me immediately

17

101

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Breaking down crying on videochat w my parents asking them to float me $600 to help make rent. Rolling up to their house for dinner 1 week later wearing brand new pair of commes des garcons air max 95s

9

185

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Girl telling u to cum wherever u want and pulling out and roping all over the gustav klimt the kiss print on her wall

15

192

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

*to 33y/o match* ew yeah older guys who date young girls are grody af, agree 100%. But yeah Im def down for disney+ binge pillowfort movie night☺ *switching to convo w 19y/o match* ew yeah freshman yr sucks. Gets better tho! but yeah Im def down for disney+ binge pillowfort movi

13

155

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Young they/them walks into a bar and orders a shot of liquor. Bartender pours the shot, They look at it, wrinkle their nose and say, "oh, and I need a chaser", so the bartender calls Joel over

28

190

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Hi its ur landlord. I know ur at work and its short notice but another tenant smelled gas so Im actually entering ur apartment right now to check it out. Also the 10 hottest girls u know are interning for me & theyre with me and they all have cameraphones and we have a blacklight

8

158

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

I'm depressed and v retarded. Nobody understands me. Waughhh. And. I'm smarter than everybody

27

373

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

25

241

4K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Cave pussy got me actin different I be paintin buffalos on my wall

4

412

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

*rock bottoming& having sex w the 'feeding ryry'& 'gerblin' lady* "unh methinks soon I'm making um, teh tadpole milk😩are u on ye old controlling of birth Tablets" Her: nerrrr, much allergic am I! Starting to hurt my insidey tube as well. Withdraw kind sir! Me: meesa no think so

101

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3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Lots of times somebody will have 2 followers, 6 tweets(all bad), and one of the funniest display names I've ever seen

37

58

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Most dangerously mentally ill woman you have ever met in your life voice "you woukd be such a good dad :) I can just tell

11

191

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

0 beers: fuxk this. It's too bright. Sun hurts my eyes. I cant see shit. Can't see my phone screen. I hate the air 8 beers: we only have a finite amount of time to appreciate the warmth of the springtime sun our backs. Holy shit. God has given us all his most beautiful treasures

4

276

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

we viral baby💯💪 now which one of you stupid fucking retards wants to buy a night light that looks like a sunset

23

72

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

I fantasize about having slaves so I could free them and they'd all belike "yo. you are the chillest plantation guy. literally some of us want to stay

20

107

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Yoo mtv cribs! started from the bottom now we here, cmon lemme show u where da magic happens *descending stairwell* yall gon love this, *20 min, still descending* yall gon flip, *40 min, air colder* all custom, *90 min, stifling hot now, pitch black,camera light starts flickering

8

424

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

saw u liked my post. after unsuccessful run thru ur media tab, checked ur earliest follows w lowest follow #, plugging them into fb search. im now 99% sure u live In portsmouth OH,only 14 hour drive away! if I don't stop. Wyd doing in 14 hrs wanto get an ice cream(so hot out!lol)

9

170

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Ugh, this supreme court thing😔 I feel you sis. Big hugs rn. As a guy who refuses to use condoms,

6

127

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

I see 18 dead kids and the story is still developing and I'm like, yes. I have to immediately throw up a take validating some opinion on some issue I already have. You see bodies I see me being right. Perfect time to post

12

186

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Cute cashier: do u want the toilet paper in a bag? Me(visibly freaking out a bit): it's not toilet paper actually its just paper towels Her: ok Me: I'd never-I wouldn't buy that kind of thing from you Rolling out from under her car 3hrs later as shes leaving "so that got awkward

9

149

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

9

259

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Fat little swagged out wigger at my job randomly added the hot girl we work with on snap and been hitting her up by sending pics of himself sitting on floralprint couch holding up 2liter of coke captioned "chilling at my grandmas 😛 Wyd". Which Im 100% gonna steal and start doing

14

74

3K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

13

166

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

20

43

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Can tell some of the seasonal depression is burning off bc my suicidal ideations are become more cartoonish. Late winter: I should take 5 oxy 80s and sit down in the shower. Mid spring; I should somersault down a beautiful mountain

10

168

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

"Hiiii, ha, wow, youre kind of a lot shorter than I thought you'd be.." Me(dark art of seduction mind control gaslight expert😈😈): No, I'm not

5

150

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Damn..you have kids? So literally already got fully blasted in..damn thats disgusting. But I forgive you. Are you free to come over my scary apartment

1

142

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Omicron, delta,, supply chain, January 6, rittemhouse sister single?, space x,, The only thing we can know for 100% sure in these crazy times, is that we have to keep watching the news on TV or we're fucked. We'll die if we don't watch it

6

169

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Incredibly easy to get pussy off of dating apps. You just have to broaden your standards, spend as much time on there as if it was a 2nd full-time job, and be an Intelligent Sociopath,

10

75

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

My female doctor, who literally watched me grow up, was giving me my checkup and told me I "have a God-tier cock, not too long but just right and delociously plump like a gorged little ortolan ;) " and gave me two extra stickers from the Bravery Bucket on my way out. Wtf

8

65

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Late 30s lady interviewing me for bank job: what would u say is ur biggest weakness? Me: def making girls squirt, every time no matter what. even they didnt know they could, which can be scary for them Her: i meant job-related Me: o sorry..making female coworkers squirt, every ti

5

125

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

First class passengers should get to control what coach passengers watch on the headrest screens

11

115

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Loling remembering when ppl were really into vice news a few years ago, when they had their HBO show or whatever. Seems like the moment has passed, but we should absolutely be airdropping more brooklynites into active war zones

9

76

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Funny little prank I've been doing lately is telling girls on dating apps I'm 6'3 and then, when I show up to meet them, I am 5'6

13

44

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Certain type girls on tinder always "looove tequila😝" until its time to rawdog an entire bottle with a washed up adult failson who is very clearly tryijf to kill himself in slow motion. Beg for limes all you want. I do not have any! If u need to barf that laundry piles all dirty

10

138

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

@on_da_spectrum Girl with chronically farting pussy: um can u maybe play some music or Me: I cannot fathom what kind of sickness would make a person want to play music during sex. if you feel the need to put on music during sex you are bad at having sex. simple as that. if you were good at sex y

2

20

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Irony adjacent girl, 2 weeks before getting bf: what do the clit and the holocaust have in common😆 Irony adjacent girl, 1 week after getting bf: *posting pic of insanely fag looking guy* Im teaching Jacob the correct way to cut mango and he just called me 'the fruit queen'🥺💕

14

109

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Hey yall. Let's get this ^^^, NOT the OP, to 100k. It only has to work once to be worth it but nobody is helping me. You all have to help me. You idiots. You fucking pigs

4

16

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

I wanna like those nerd games like eveonline or crusader kings. but then try them & realize, for someone my IQ, it just feels same as doing 800 pages of math homework. I get so mad. The perfect video game is VR headset where u punch a guy & it feeds it u a cheez-it, over and over

21

71

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

The hardest part of drinking too much is learning to resist the urge to post bits of lyrics to song you are listening in all caps

16

121

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Like a year ago I asked this girl out maybe 3 times and she was like noooo aha ImNot ready to date rn🙈. ~1 month later I saw her holding hands w very tall guy. Then last week saw her at grocery store holding a baby and the baby looked at me and it had downs syndrome. So anyways

17

70

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Condoms? Ermm, no, lol... uhh idk if you're aware whats going on with the Supply Chain rn but,

1

80

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Everyone knows the Basic dark seduction tricks. Negging, peacocking, etc. Only a Few have mastered Elite methods: Crying, crying while tugging her hem, cutting ur hand on purpose w a chunk of glass& making her drive u to ER and watch trailers on ur phone for 3 hrs in waiting room

6

85

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Damn, this chickens 4 days past its sell-by date. Better give it the old smell test. Hm, yeah it definitely smells maybe a little fucked up. Better give it the old chewing and swallowing it test

4

89

2K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Bought a hot dog from gas station and when I got home and unwrapped it there was no dog in there. Just a bun. Christ. Sometimes in life we do not know what the final straw will be until it is laid atop our backs. I do not give a fuck about ukraine!!! I'm in my own war against god

8

79

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Oh, your grandpa died? Um, Ok? Well. That's what theyre 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 to do. Do u want a friggin cookie or something😂 Now, show me a grandpa that's lived forever and then you might really have something! But so yeah, methinks I'm still gonna need you to come in for your shift

2

63

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Alright so, looking at ur questionnaire. You smoke a pack of cigarettes each day? Me: yeah. American spirit Organic :) Dr: and under drinks/day, you wrote 8-25 Me: lo-carb beers :p & liquor Dr: and youre here because youre not feeling great, latel Me: ya I think I have Long Covid

5

87

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Not seeing many ppl posting their wordles today...??

19

47

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

12

63

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

15

62

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

"Leftovers just hit different at 4am😳🤣," the walls are closing in on me. I really don't know how much more I can take. I try to picture myself in 5 years and I can't. I can't see myself continuing tonexist "and when u got some damn, ice water to wash it down??? Wooooo lawd👌👌"

4

83

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

4 months

are you ashkenazi by chance? yea i figured, can tell by h9w dense&heavy your breasts are. whats your take on Israel btw? I think we should sink it, lol. but yeah no u should definitely go pee the cum out, like asap. something is legit weird with mine, it makes ppl sick. like ill

11

85

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

1 year

this guy is yelling and making me super uncomfortable😨👎. what would make me much more comfortable, would be to instead witness a murder🫣👍

4

74

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

1 year

wow. actually its called avoidant attachment style annd its basically a disability. so its cuh-razy for you be mad at me for anything, that I do. bc of it. would u yell at a retarded kid for not being able to catch a football? I would. but thats bc I also have borderline persona

9

148

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

2 weeks before getting gf: unnnh ;_; so lonely. Just want a freaking girlfriend 2 weeks after getting gf: soooo...did not really realize there would be quite this much talking, from you..

3

56

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

31 year old guy trying to fuck an 18 year old voice: yeah im still just so sad about 'juice world'. Pop snoke as well

6

29

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Moments b4 penetration: omg. Shes stunning. Gorgeous in a unique way outside of fake plastic media beauty ideals. Exotic& emanating fertile sexuality. & Such a quirky kind personality. She'd make a great mother. I must cum inside Upon dismount: omg.This..is a fat retarded person

10

109

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Bitch could be a 9/10 but if she doesn't have some weird skin condition or a wonky tooth or two it's a pass from me✌💯

13

57

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Erm, u guys r watching sporpbsball?? 🙄okiedokie plebes, enjoy ur little game. Goooo sportsteam. Lol. If u need me ill be in my room masturbating so hard the whole house can smell it

1

84

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

People in their teens kill themselves because of girls or hormone insanity. People in their 20s kill themselves because of general existential dread. And people in their 30s kill themselves because its laundry day and the washer and dryer each cost 3 dollars

5

67

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

12

81

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Ate a bunch of mushrooms when I was 15 and right around when I started really peaking my friend barfed and then immediately ate all the barf off the ground bc he didn't want to 'waste any' and it took me like 3 hours to recover

13

48

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Guy ahead of me in drive thru cussed out the girl working window and sped off sp they gave me his order then I gave them 2 beers then they gave me 2 more bags full of random free food bc theyre closing. God is good

7

13

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

12

87

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

6

63

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

4 years

*Sipping discount gas station zero sugar but still cloying sweet energy drink called like "adrechrome psyko" w fetal mouse protein or whatever in it, 5g cellphone pulsing radiation into my penis balls asshole brain thru pants pocket* "im not taking the fucking bill gates vaccine,

6

131

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

9

53

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Me: can I help you find anything ^_^ Insanely hot female customer: nope I'm all set, thanks Me: please

3

48

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

4

71

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

14 beers zero hrs sleep pulling up to work the morning shift. We'll add a couple energy drinks to the mix and see how it goes. Worst comes to worst if u flush the toilet you can scream into it as it's flushing and it swallows all the sound up

8

58

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

2

31

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

7 months

adidas should give kanye his shoe deal back now. they should also give him an evangelion mech and air drop him into tel aviv

1

111

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

6

80

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Cop let me off with a warning bc he recognized my lips/chin from my progress update pics on bodybuilding .com forums and we're both aesthetic > strength crew

5

36

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Perfectly normal and charming for 2.5 whole hours during date, keeping drinking super under control, bringing girl home and onto bed, shimmying dowj under the covers, sneaking those lizard eyes contact lenses onto my eyes,

7

62

1K

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

The chances ur being catfished by a "CIA or FBI handler" is 100000x lower than the chances ur being catfished by a bpd monster harvesting you as lolcow fodder for some catty sociopathic subforum. So relax

7

50

976

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

A regular nobody like you and me look at a big slab of stone and all we can see is just a big rock, but a mega genius like Michaelangelo can look at a big slab of stone and see a naked baby or a little boys penis in there

3

58

979

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Every crypto wallet and traditional banking app/website should all have a big 'delete all your money immediately' button thats super easy to accidentally press

3

67

991

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

United States paper money should have pictures of all our greatest white rappers on it

14

44

985

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Wait wait wait. so. Lemme get this straight. Some goofy 6'4 dude is easily manipulating and running through a bunch of retarded early-20 girls in one of New Yorks trust fund neighborhoods???? My gosh. That is literally unbelievable. That's so freaking crazy no way

16

37

959

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Female brain literally cannot process the difference between good vs bad posts. they just like the little animation from clicking the heart button

5

49

912

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Pronouns in bio is sooooo 2018. Being nonbinary? 2020 called, it wants it trend back😂 This year we're adopting dogs and then killing them

5

56

932

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Found a few good 9nes from the old acct

2

36

956

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

I think I can quit smoking if I take 2 weeks vacation off work and just immediately swallow a handful of ambien right away every single time I wake up until its time to go back in to work. Feeling hopeful

16

46

959

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

2 years

Yall ever b gettig pussy and u pull her hair and whole handful just comes clean out in your hand and u can see raw scalp and part skull. Then look down and her pussys bleeding all over the place then look up and there's a billion spiders crawling out of the corner of the wall ??

18

50

930

aware my heart of my sleeve, yknow?

@suicidepussy

3 years

Saaaame Im traumatized as hell! Mad trauma Im like ahhhhh! Always calling 1 of my therapists like "more therapy please!" Cant get enough of the stuff! Def also a nondinary they/them I be looking@ my dick like "wtf is this" lol idk WHATs goin on down there fr! But yeah wyd tonight

5

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