John Scalzi @scalzi Twitter profile

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John Scalzi

5 months

Okay, folks, I'm done here. I can't in good conscience post even just career news and updates while this hateful shitlord runs the place. My bio has where else I am. Leave here. Find me there. "Musk on Antisemitic Conspiracy Theory: ‘The Actual Truth’"

Musk on Antisemitic Conspiracy Theory: ‘The Actual Truth’

Elon Musk has endorsed a post on X, formerly Twitter, attacking Jewish communities and accusing them of promoting "hatred against whites."

www.rollingstone.com

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Last Seen Profiles

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

As a straight male, the best teacher I ever had was a gay man. Among many other things, he taught me the difference between "there," "their" and "they're." His name was Keith Johnson. I would have been absolutely delighted for my daughter to have known him. I sang at his funeral.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

SHE'S GOING TO TAX THE RICH which is fine I'm rich I'll happily pay more taxes not to have to see another family grovel on gofundme so their parent/kid/spouse won't fucking die

Elizabeth Warren

@ewarren

4 years

I did the homework. I got the experts to check my math, and the numbers are clear: #MedicareForAll is the only plan that gives everyone in America full coverage. And we can do it without raising taxes one penny on middle-class families.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

You know, when the history of this era is written, I want the record to show I was firmly on the side of "Fuck this fucking Nazi bullshit."

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Pro tip: If you're the sort of person who says "Technically an adult who prefers sex with underage teens is not a pedophile but an ephebophile," a big red neon sign goes up over your head that says "I'm a big fucking creepy creep" and stays up there permanently.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Pro tip: Don't vote for anyone who makes it difficult for you or your fellow citizens to vote. That's a very good sign they want to rule rather than serve.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

I don't pull this card that often, but in this case it was both appropriate and satisfying.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

The Force Awakens: Female lead, $247M opening weekend Rogue One: Female lead, $155M opening weekend The Last Jedi: Female lead, $220M opening weekend Solo: Male lead, $83M opening weekend (3-day) Thus, the obvious conclusion: LEIA: A Star Wars Story, December 2020

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

I don't know who originally did the 'shop, but it's ON POINT, y'all.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

1. It's really frustrating to me that more people don't understand that racist/alt-right people have gamified their rhetoric; they're not interested in discussion, they're slapping down cards from a "Debate: The Gathering" stack, and the only goal is taking heads.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Spoiler: It's because he's a bigot.

David Axelrod

@davidaxelrod

7 years

So when acts of terror are committed by Muslims, @POTUS can't wait to Tweet. When they are committed AGAINST Muslims, nothing.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

To the sociopathic shitmonkeys who are trial-ballooning the idea of letting millions die of the COVID virus just so we can all get back to work a bit sooner: Thank you for volunteering to die from the virus. Oh, you mean you want OTHER people to die? Then go fuck yourselves.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

We would as a nation be immeasurably better if the media accurately described our president, yes.

ESPN Public Editor

@ESPNPublicEd

7 years

@cdgoldstein So you think it would be fine for all media outlets to start calling him a "white supremacist" in everyday copy?

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

10 months

Why won't that beef-witted podcaster write a peer-reviewed scientific paper? What is he scared of? Is he too much of a coward to present his findings to a group of experts in the field for their critical examination? Why is he hiding?

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

No. Libraries buy books and are a positive good in their community. If you can't afford to buy a book, please borrow it from a library!

John Parsons

@cataloger623

6 years

@scalzi Does it bother you that a percentage of your readers just borrow your books from a public library and don't buy them from Amazon or other book retailer?

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

NARRATOR: It was, in fact, exactly the Brexit that Colin had voted for.

Colin Browning

@ColinBrowning14

4 years

Absolutely disgusting service at Schiphol airport. 55 minutes we have been stood in the immigration queue. This isn’t the Brexit I voted for.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

Counterpoint: "Fuck" is an absolute fucking delight to use, and there are as many fucking ways to use it as there are grains of fucking sand on a pristine fucking beach. Use "fuck" joyfully, with love and with fucking gusto. Thank you for coming to my fucking TED talk. PS: Fuck!

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

I was at Notre Dame last November and it is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever stood in. Heartbreaking the damage it's experiencing now.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

4chan has declared me a degenerate science fiction writer and I could not be more delighted.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Telling anyone not to participate in the political life of our nation is the most unamerican and unpatriotic thing you can do, and shameful.

Travis Tritt

@Travistritt

7 years

Advice to all actors, musicians and entertainers: Please stick to your crafts that we all love you for and drop the political rhetoric.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

2 years

Looked at a Reddit thread about a recent book of mine and someone accused me of writing the book as a cash grab, and the answer is, yes, indeed it was, all my books are cash grabs, this is my job and we live in late capitalism, please give me cash I will happily grab it thank you

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Whoa-oh here he comes Watch out girl he'll chat you up Whoa-oh here he comes He's a mansplainer

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

2 years

If it makes these folks feel better to think I'm a part-time writer, fine. In which case I'm a part-time writer who doesn't have to have another job. That's actually pretty cool. Also, if typing is all you think qualifies as writing, well, okay, that's a choice you can make.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

People freaking out about a week of at-home quarantine is why generation ships to the stars aren't the slam dunk some people think they are.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

11 months

WHO MADE THIS (because they are a friggin' genius and I want to applaud them personally and give credit where credit is due, their name is not on it and a Google image search comes up with nothing)

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Are these the "fans" who basically shit themselves in public because the previous Ghostbusters movie because it had women in it? Because I'm not gonna lie, I don't want to see the movie that caters to that sort of dimwitted chucklefuck.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

A leading indicator for me that you're probably a real asshole is whether you think libraries should be shut down and/or replaced by corporate retail outlets.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

As a Hugo-winning scifi writer, I feel qualified to say: The United States needs quality health care for its people far more than it needs a "Space Force." Let's take all the money and effort we'd pour into that silly thing and instead make an actual difference in people's lives.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Folks, if you roll up with "both sides are equally bad" these days, I'm gonna know you're a fucking idiot whose understanding of political issues is about as deep as a single baked potato crisp. I literally have no time for you, Pringle pal.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Some yutz is calling @jk_rowling "pretentious" for having a writing room? One, lots of writers have writing rooms; all you need is a spare room in the house. Two, when you've sold 500 million books, it's not actually pretension to have a room to write in. She's kinda earned it.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Holy Jesus THANK YOU Alabama's black voters for standing in line and putting up with election bullshit. We all owe you one. Alabama white voters: What the actual fuck, man. Dude's a fucking child molester. Go to your room and think about what you did.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

The Mildred and Richard Loving Highway.

Jalopnik

@Jalopnik

7 years

Virginia is renaming Jefferson Davis Highway and asking the internet for suggestions

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

I strongly believe @Lin_Manuel has been applying to be the Twitter version of Mr. Rogers, and I'm personally inclined to give him the job.

Lin-Manuel Miranda

@Lin_Manuel

6 years

Gmorning from the younger version of you Who couldn’t wait to be you at this age right now

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Reminder: the same jerks who call liberals "snowflakes" elected the whiniest petulant motherfucker in the entire history of the presidency.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

If I could have just one wish, I would remove imposter syndrome from all the people who shouldn't have it, and give it to all the people who should have it but don't.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

REMINDER: We are carpooling to the civil war tomorrow. NO SINGLE DRIVERS. Honestly, if we can't wage war AND conserve energy, who even are we. Oh, and Sandy can't bring brownies, someone else will have to step up. NO NUTS, please.

Alex Jones

@RealAlexJones

6 years

BREAKING: Democrats Plan To Launch Civil War On July 4th

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Accurate. One of the great joys of adulthood was learning that Parton is basically amazing on nearly every axis of human existence, not the caricature I thought she was when I was a kid. She's an actual role model to me now.

Yashar Ali 🐘

@yashar

6 years

When fires ravaged parts of Tenn in 2016, Dolly Parton gave $1k/month to every homeless family until they could get back on their feet. She has used her fame to spread a message of love/acceptance. Today, she donated her 100 millionth book Dolly Parton is an American treasure

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Looks like Captain Marvel's gonna cross the $1B global threshold sometime this week, and it's the #1 domestic box office film of 2019 so far by a substantial margin, so I'd like to congratulate all those terrified menchildren for yet another successful boycott. You did it, dudes!

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

Oh, hello. I am so fucking angry right now that I can barely keep it together. How are you?

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

I'm not willing to sacrifice senior citizens to COVID-19, but I am increasingly willing to sacrifice the assholes who are willing to sacrifice seniors.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

Saw someone today attempt to insult another writer by calling him a "Scalzi-tier author." Being on that tier myself, I commiserate with the author placed there, who's now fated to make a comfortable living writing popular novels. Horrible indeed! Be strong, my friend. Solidarity.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

The difference is that in the fantasy they are asked to kill, and in the reality they are asked to be kind.

Scott Lynch

@scottlynch78

4 years

So many people running around claiming they'll do anything for America. Carry guns, live in bunkers, fight in the hills. What they're actually asked to do is wear simple protective measures, keep their distance, show patience and courtesy. And they break like fucking glass.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

Jesus please let the experts seize power

Angelo Carusone

@GoAngelo

4 years

Tucker is worried that experts are using this moment to seize power.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Next 24 hours, every RT this gets, I put $1 in a pot for @simonwiesenthal , @NAACP , @TransEquality and @splcenter , up to $10k. You know why.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

I propose a new law that anyone who publicly talks about US taxes in a way that does not incorporate the reality of marginal tax rates is then subsequently taxed wholly at the maximum rate for their income. Since they apparently believe that's the way it works anyway.

Scott Walker

@ScottWalker

5 years

Explaining tax rates before Reagan to 5th graders: “Imagine if you did chores for your grandma and she gave you $10. When you got home, your parents took $7 from you.” The students said: “That’s not fair!” Even 5th graders get it.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

ONE WEIRD TRICK FOR GETTING RID OF ANTIFA: Get rid of your fascists, the antifa goes away almost immediately! SO SIMPLE

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Today is a good day to remind people that Americans hated Hillary Clinton so much they gave her more votes than any white man ever got.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Unexpected graphic design is unexpected

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Oh for fuck's sake stop blaming people voting for a shitty human being on the people who correctly pointed out he is a shitty human being.

Meghan McCain

@MeghanMcCain

7 years

This Meryl Streep speech is why Trump won. And if people in Hollywood don't start recognizing why and how - you will help him get re-elected

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

I really hate having a stupid president.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Folks, cut the Oprah 2020 people some slack, they're just besotted with the idea that an accomplished, smart and inspiring woman of color could lead our nation, rather than a corrupt, bigoted piece of shit who can't easily form complete sentences, which is what we have now.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Remember, kids, complaining about lack of civility is just code for "The wrong people just won't shut the fuck up"

Bloomberg Politics

@bpolitics

5 years

The U.S. faces a “civility crisis,” Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch says in his new book, titled “A Republic, If You Can Keep It”

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

How it started: How it’s going:

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Reading a dumbass huff and puff about how it's all on women now because men won't make the first move anymore for fear of being accused of harassment, and I don't think the wee lad realizes how relieved women will be that they won't be bothered by the likes of him anymore.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Pro tip: If you're an established pro, don't shit on an excited newbie's happy proclamation of achievement. You'll look like an asshole.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Hey folks, a true thing: Creators *do* listen to fans. Sometimes their answer is "no."

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

In which @barrydeutsch nails this one pretty damn accurately.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

2 years

"We turned the planet into an overheated pile of microplastics and saddled our children with debt and shitty-paying jobs, plus we're totally cool with creeping racist fascism. Why are our kids angry and hate us so?"

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

2 years

1. Over on Facebook a post is being passed around in which an author is telling other authors not to take political positions because our job is to entertain, not alienate "half our readers." So, let me speak on this general concept of authors shutting up and staying in lanes.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

WHO MADE THIS (found here: )

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

And then I blocked him.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

I volunteer Chris Christie as tribute

CNN Politics

@CNNPolitics

4 years

Chris Christie says Americans must accept reopening country despite Covid-19 death projections: "There are going to be deaths"

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

Reminder that "I'm playing devil's advocate" usually means "I'm saying a shitty thing I actually believe, but I want plausible deniability when my statement gets ripped apart on logical and moral grounds." You're not fooling anyone, boo. And the devil doesn't need your help.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

For nearly two decades now the video game industry has *vastly* overestimated how much I want to play their games online with other people.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

What if Greta Thunberg's super power isn't autism but the ability to make old white dudes voluntarily shit themselves in public

The Independent

@Independent

4 years

Meat Loaf says Greta Thunberg has been 'brainwashed' over climate change

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Call me old-fashioned, but if your "festival of ideas" makes fascism and white supremacy its headlining ideas, fuck it and fuck you, and also fuck anyone blandly tut-tuting people for righteously protesting such hateful bullshit.

Malcolm Gladwell

@Gladwell

6 years

Huh. Call me old-fashioned. But I would have thought that the point of a festival of ideas was to expose the audience to ideas. If you only invite your friends over, it’s called a dinner party.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

On the other hand they're emotionally available to their children and an active presence their lives, so

New York Post

@nypost

5 years

Millennial dads have pathetic DIY skills compared to baby boomers

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

Trump supporters, if you are coming over here to complain to me that Biden voters are being mean today, I'm going to reply with the following picture and then mute and/or block you. I know this won't stop you. I just want to make sure you understand the process.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

1. Recent events have prompted some folks to ask me to assure them that I will never be problematic, so they can continue to read my work with a clear conscience. Folks, I have some real bad news for you: I can't promise that, and here's a thread on why. Ready? Let's begin.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Who the fuck is "we" here? *I'm* a Star Wars fan. Saw the original when it came out, spent my childhood making lightsaber sounds. I *like* where the series is going these days. This is just whiny, entitled bullshit, and sure as hell doesn't speak for me, or for all fans.

Dumb Moth Kaeli |🔞|🏳️‍⚧️| ΘΔ

@AzulaAr

6 years

Today, #WetheFans of #StarWars declare #ourRebellion from #Lucasfilm . We are tired of being spat on, told that the franchise we so adore is not for us anymore, and of our favorite characters being mistreated by the directors of the new movies. We call upon @Disney for change.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Dudes angry at Gillette for saying "maybe don't be shitty humans": You're telling on yourself, bro.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

1. It wasn't a "girl's night out," she was just out with friends. 2. The dude grabbed her hand and tried to put it on his dick, then attempted to drag her outside. The attempt went poorly. 3. She put arm in his neck and made him apologize. 4. Hell yeah I bragged. And would again.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

I'm not holding today against 2021. I'm on the record as saying 2021 begins at noon on January 20. This is, like, December 37.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

So basically the only groups who want net neutrality killed are AT&T, Verizon, and the sort of people who would try to breathe fluorine if they heard Obama approved of oxygen.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Roger Ebert once wrote that "Happy people are pleased by the happiness of others. The miserable are poisoned by envy." I think that's pretty accurate.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Hot Voting Tip: When in doubt, vote against the fucking racist.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

11 months

As noted by others, the management of Reddit and Twitter both exist under the delusion that their users need them more than they need their users, who create the content and community the sites need for their business model. I'm all right with people reminding them of this fact.

Steve Valasek

@steve626

11 months

@scalzi Yeah, looks like the servers are joining in. Any thoughts on the protests? I've been a mod on a fairly big subreddit for ten years or so. It wasn't an easy decision to go dark, but we agreed it was the right thing to do.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

4 years

I worked my way through school and worked afterward to pay off loans, and pay full freight for my kid to go to school. Bite me, James Carville, I don't want to hear YOUR shit. I'd be fucking DELIGHTED to have my taxes go to free college tuition for this and future generations.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Note to trolls on Twitter: You don't scare me. I was on USENET.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Most "classics of the genre" (whatever the genre) are just unbelievably dated and anyone who demands new readers to genre "start with the classics" is going to ensure they hate it. Give new readers new books they have a better chance of relating to. They can work backward later.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

10 months

I support the WGA strike and the SAG-AFTRA strike. I support strikes that aren’t about the field I work in, or have famous people in them. Capital is unambiguously trying to fuck labor and has divorced compensation from reasonable living standards. Fuck ‘em. Strikes for everyone.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Millennial women who are worried about this: seriously please don't be. And if your man can't deal with it, that should be a big red flag.

CNBC

@CNBC

7 years

Millennial women are 'worried,' 'ashamed' of out-earning boyfriends and husbands

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

I kind of wonder if Facebook zapped all its sites at the same time as a way to say "THIS IS WHAT A WORLD WITHOUT FACEBOOK IS LIKE SEE YOU NEED US" and then was dismayed as everyone went "oh, actually we don't, a Facebook-free world is kinda nice actually, thanks for reminding us"

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

It's funny how in the space of just a few years the phrase "thoughts and prayers" has become the functional political equivalent of "We're actually just fine with letting your children die in a school shooting."

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

2 years

Someone apparently did not know that I grade hate mail and send it back with editorial notes if it is not up to snuff. (cut and pasted to Notepad to anonymize sender and to asterisk certain unkind words)

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

2 years

Also, yes, my usual schedule is to reserve 8am - noon and/or 2k words for physical writing (i.e., sitting in front of the computer and typing). Noon - 5pm is for other business-related stuff. After 5pm I try to keep free for family and other stuff I want to do. Reasonable hours!

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Folks: A president-elect demanding apologies for the exercise of free speech is not less troubling than a fraud case. Just as an FYI.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

If you were needing a new year's resolution for 2018, I have three for you: 1. Register to vote if you have not; 2. Check your registration is still valid if you have; 3. Vote in the midterms in November. Easy peasy.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

Oh, wow, President Biden just signed an executive order making it illegal NOT to inform a dog, once you ask it who is a good dog, that it is indeed the good dog in question.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

Pro tip: "Neo-Nazi" is shorter than "Alt-right" by an entire character space! Save space in your tweets! AND be less euphemistic!

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Does anyone honestly think a 85-year-old outlaw who smokes weed all day long gives a shit what anyone else thinks about him?

ABC13 Houston

@abc13houston

6 years

FANS TURN ON WILLIE: Country singer @WillieNelson was called just about every name in the book after announcing he's playing during an upcoming rally for Texas Democratic Senate candidate @BetoORourke .

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

My input: Fuck that ridiculous noise. Libraries are for everyone, and also libraries *buy* their books and are the backbone of many writers' careers. I absolutely and wholeheartedly support libraries and how they are a foundation and lifeline for the communities they serve.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Folks: The president is racist as all fuck and has been since he was dawdled on his racist daddy's knee. When people try to tell you he's not, they are a) racist as all fuck themselves, b) trying in some way to rationalize their support of someone racist as fuck, c) both.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

1. All United States citizens at age 18 have the right to vote; 2. Every citizen shall be permanently registered to vote at age 18; 3. Every government must ensure all of its citizens may vote without hindrance or prejudice; 4. Election Day is a national holiday.

Zach Weinersmith

@ZachWeiner

5 years

You get to make one constitutional amendment. What does it do, and how?

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

7 years

People angry with Hillary Clinton for writing a book should have voted for her as president. Then she would have been too busy to write it.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

Rebuttal: Pence is a homophobic, transphobic piece of shit and an abject failure as a follower of Christ.

Jeb Bush

@JebBush

5 years

Mike Pence is a good man.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

3 years

Tomorrow I get my first vaccine shot AND BOY THIS WHAT I'M GONNA DO NEXT -- Get another one three weeks later AND THEN GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA DO -- Wait a couple of weeks BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO THEN -- Still wear a mask most places because, yeah, transmission

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

A consistent misapprehension on the right is that the left a) don't have firearms and b) don't know how to use them. Neither is the case; the left just doesn't tend to make firearms into fetish objects with the same avidity. They're tools, not a lifestyle.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

My daughter is calling detergent "laundry sauce" and I'm having several issues with that description. First, it's obviously a topping, not a sauce

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

5 years

If you want to know who is a contemptible fucking coward today, look for the politicians and commentators scrambling to blame the mass murders in Dayton and El Paso on video games.

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John Scalzi

@scalzi

6 years

Today's the day! Did you pick a buddy to go to war with? No? PICK A CIVIL WAR BUDDY. DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR CIVIL WAR BUDDY. Remember to hydrate. We meet back here at 7pm for sparklers and punch and gluten-free snickerdoodles. DON'T BE LATE. Have fun civil warring!

Alex Jones

@RealAlexJones

6 years

BREAKING: Democrats Plan To Launch Civil War On July 4th

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