some guy: it’s called Johnny Bravo. it’s about a 30 year old guy who still lives at home with his mom. His best friend is a child who lives next door and his only goal is trying to get laid. It’s for kids.
cartoon network exec: (ripping a line of coke) f*ck yes dude, make it.
very weird to see people celebrating a verdict on here that's going to clearly make it harder for victims of abuse to hold their abusers accountable in court without being threatened with defamation
weaponizing the legal system (which is already bad enough for women who speak out against abuse they suffer) gives survivors even less incentive to speak out and gives abusers another tool to continue unencumbered
LAPD shot and killed a Black man tonight. He was unarmed and on a bike. This was at 3:30 PST. As of 30 minutes ago, his body was still face down in the street.
Defund the police.
quarantine day 1: I should download duolingo. use this time to learn
day 3: the duolingo owl seems chill
day 12: I am going to have sex with the duolingo owl
day 21: el búho duolingo es un amante amable y considerado
quit posting restaurants from your hometown with the caption "if you know, you know." I have never been to your hometown. I don't know and I feel very left out
Me as a kid: why would anyone listen to 80’s music? This is terrible.
Me as a 28 year old : I swear to GOD, if I don’t hear some Tears For Fears I will end it.
@albinokid
@J_ManPrime21
@chrisgrady5
He has a credible sexual assault claim against him, wrote the crime bill, voted for the iraq war, championed big banks, and put clarence thomas on the bench.
it’s not a false equivalency to call him a republican. I didn’t even say i wasn’t gonna vote for him.
these fucking grifters love to talk about class while our big, soggy president rips a piss all over the constitution and it’s just the dumbest thing. civility can eat a dick
tweet what you know and people will find you. also,
@Miles_Teller
I promise I wasn’t staring intentionally. just a big Whiplash fan. thanks
@PardonMyTake
!
@nytimes
we've been having this convo since the pandemic started and folks started working from home. people like having more time they can devote to things outside of work. this is a boring panic article, find a new slant
just dropping in super quick to remind everyone that literally no employee in the store you’re in sets the prices and yelling at them about it makes you look like a reeeeeeeeaaaaaaal dick. Thanks for your time
A good tweet is 140 characters in length, including spaces. This cover letter is 139 characters because I’m the character you’re missing.
a real cover letter I just submitted for a social media gig, i'm either a genius or an idiot, no in between.
me: please
wife: no
me: just hear me ou-
wife: NO
me: UGH, you never let me do anything fun
me: *deletes “this guy fucks” off of our baby announcement*