car ⚭ @retiredspyy Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

car ⚭

10 months

— i love alex turner — sorry? — i said i love alex turner…. “alex” "from?" "sheffield" "from?" "eng—shef—e—arctic monkeys" — holy shit

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Last Seen Profiles

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car ⚭

@retiredspyy

10 months

arctic monkeys thank you message 🥹

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car ⚭

@retiredspyy

1 year

why does this feel like a goodbye (crucify me)

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@retiredspyy

1 year

“why do you love alex turner?” answer:

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@retiredspyy

1 year

Arctic Monkeys MATH PROBLEMS: a thread

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@retiredspyy

9 months

him in my car

ioana !

@fatballing

9 months

do yall prefer early the car or late the car 🫣

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@retiredspyy

1 year

HELLO YOU

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@retiredspyy

1 year

i was robbed 😩 by arctic monkeys… best believe you wouldn’t see me wearing anything else now

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@retiredspyy

1 year

I will get cancelled for the things I’m about to say.

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@retiredspyy

1 year

FORCING A SMILEEEE 😬

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@retiredspyy

10 months

whose idea was this

『 alex turner bot 』

@turnersbot

3 years

the music video for ‘crying lightning’ was released 12 years ago, on august 7th

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@retiredspyy

10 months

WHERE IS OUR ARTIST FANK YOU MESSAGE @ArcticMonkeys ???

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@retiredspyy

1 year

imagine alex turner and cillian murphy having a debate with those sexy accents

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@retiredspyy

8 months

iya ★

@hotmessjunk

8 months

girls be like “that’s my emotional support song” and it’s the most devastating heartwrenching song ever

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@retiredspyy

1 year

whatever the mirror said

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@retiredspyy

10 months

who wears a hair full of gel, pants, and BOOTS to the beach??

Favorite worst person 🍸

@steeIreserve211

10 months

I'll never be over just how lengthy he looks in this pic

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@retiredspyy

8 months

babies arrived safely at home

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@retiredspyy

1 year

it’s cute and I LOVE ALEXA CHUNG but the fact that she’s comfortably engaging in posts containing alex means they have both moved on. what’s not adding up

cas ⚭

@biggesttbhcluvr

1 year

…

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@retiredspyy

1 year

alex??

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@retiredspyy

1 year

BALD ALEX

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@retiredspyy

1 year

somebody help him to get untied from the chandelier

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@retiredspyy

1 year

those eyes. that face. this man. he is so golden retriever.

lala

@arcsias

1 year

arctic monkeys - mardy bum

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car ⚭

@retiredspyy

11 months

is the ⚭ body paint symbol made out from these overlapping circles from the car cover??

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@retiredspyy

10 months

his hairline is so minnie mouse

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@retiredspyy

10 months

he looks like he’s about to detonate a bomb

sau🪩

@helderseviltwin

10 months

i still cant believe this is a real picture

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@retiredspyy

10 months

i just know he’s crying behind those glasses

alex turner loops

@alexturnermp4

1 year

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@retiredspyy

1 year

this is his best Sculptures performance and his best *GASP* change my mind

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@retiredspyy

11 months

if my future child is like this, then i know i’ve done my work as a mother

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@retiredspyy

1 year

Alex is going back to 505, a forty-five minute drive at a speed of 90 kilometers per hour. How far (in km) must he drive to see you waitin’ lyin’ on your side with your hands between your thighs?

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@retiredspyy

1 year

i’m pretty sure alex has read my tweets about piledriver waltz live 😤

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@retiredspyy

10 months

he looked at matt for a second crying for help about where his address is

alex turner loops

@alexturnermp4

1 year

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@retiredspyy

10 months

-i love The Car! -sorry? -i said i love The Car!! …flash that angle grinder smile *gasp* and roll your eyeees

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@retiredspyy

11 months

me when i learn a new internet slang

alex turner loops

@alexturnermp4

11 months

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@retiredspyy

9 months

WAKE UP ALEX RECENT!!

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@retiredspyy

7 months

oh they’re dating again bc she has his blazer happy valentine’s to us

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@retiredspyy

8 months

ok he doesn’t really look like alex but this frame??

mari ⚭ humbug lover

@ilovefireside

8 months

sim sim realmente a camisa é um pouco parecida

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@retiredspyy

1 year

i haven’t seen alex eating does the guy eat?? i can’t imagine

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@retiredspyy

1 year

babeh what’s stopping you from wearing this again??

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@retiredspyy

1 year

HE FORGOT THE LYRICS OF NO.1 PARTY ANTHEM 😭 that’s why you should sing it more often alex

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@retiredspyy

11 months

his red nose red ears red cheeks rawrr

b

@jonnyreprised

1 year

girl dinner

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@retiredspyy

1 year

is he drawn to her or is he just judgmental. we’ll never know

lana ⚭ 🪩 saw am

@sckrpnchvinyl

1 year

the way he looks at her im not okay

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@retiredspyy

8 months

more like jamie cookette

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@retiredspyy

10 months

ok but can u imagine the car alex wearing THAT

The Rock Revival

@TheRockRevival_

10 months

Let’s do this again…. There are rumours circulating that The Last Shadow Puppets could be returning next year 👀

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@retiredspyy

10 months

if this happened to me, i would make an ig account to post the same video everyday

jo 🤘

@runforgov

10 months

Thinking about this <3

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@retiredspyy

1 year

me convincing myself the tour won’t end yet IT’S NOT FINISHED

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@retiredspyy

10 months

my biggest fear in life is having the chance to converse with alex and i can’t find the subtitles

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@retiredspyy

10 months

this is getting out of hand can am fans and swifties stop having beef with each other pls we’re entitled to our opinions and there’s no point arguing bc arctic monkeys is just better

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@retiredspyy

10 months

thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

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@retiredspyy

1 year

you go girl

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@retiredspyy

1 year

alex talking in the background???

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@retiredspyy

11 months

can you pls scratch my back at the r u mine part

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@retiredspyy

1 year

: so what do you want to do in life? me: be a 🍓🍓🍓

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@retiredspyy

10 months

the day i stop talking about how attractive alex turner is is the day i die

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@retiredspyy

1 year

omw to my funeral because THAT SHOW KILLED ME

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@retiredspyy

1 year

idk if i want to be with alex turner or be alex turner

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@retiredspyy

10 months

ioana !

@fatballing

10 months

every am fan has there mirrorball pic

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@retiredspyy

11 months

so for the next album (4 years from now btw), what hairstyle do you want to see alex in?

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@retiredspyy

10 months

even his eye bags attractive

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@retiredspyy

11 months

has it ever occurred to you that alex is the one coaching louise’s replies 🤭

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@retiredspyy

1 year

what are these he’s so funny pls

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@retiredspyy

1 year

Given the following illustration, calculate the missing angles x, y, z.

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@retiredspyy

1 year

me at 70 y.o. watching Arctic Monkeys and getting barricade

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@retiredspyy

10 months

sculptures will win grammys TRUST

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@retiredspyy

10 months

me levitating to sculptures

Frosty

@SillyFrosty

10 months

Saying you’re floating to a song is corny/cringy

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@retiredspyy

1 year

ALEX TURNER IS REALLL?? I NEED 10 BUSINESS DAYS TO PROCESS THIS.

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@retiredspyy

1 year

I saw Alex Turner at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was

Amtwt Confessions

@arcticonfession

1 year

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@retiredspyy

10 months

he looks like a dr/u6 l0rd’s spoiled son who was forced to take over the family business but doesn’t know how to run it. he goes to the strip club every night and pays for everyone’s drinks; always on his motorbike with his arm candies snorting coke off their thighs and

ioana !

@fatballing

10 months

can we please talk about this live session and how delicious he looks

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@retiredspyy

1 year

final song to the last show is perfect sense and their last line would be “that’s what it takes to say good night” and it blacks out and we never see them again

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@retiredspyy

1 year

i would throw myself on stage now that’s cute

alexa

@gullibleceiling

1 year

SOMEONE THREW ROSES ON THE STAGE?? STOP THATS SO CUTE

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@retiredspyy

1 year

the photo would be 3 pixels and we’d still know it’s alex

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@retiredspyy

9 months

OHH

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@retiredspyy

1 year

aww he leaned for our cute little selfie 🥺

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@retiredspyy

1 year

SLAYYY 💅🫅 💅

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@retiredspyy

11 months

nobody move

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@retiredspyy

10 months

alex is a keychain person??

worst arctic monkeys pictures bot

@favworstarchive

10 months

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@retiredspyy

10 months

I can’t imagine The Car Alex doing this (the boys containing their laugh is always the best part)

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@retiredspyy

1 year

me every time i see the setlist

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@retiredspyy

1 year

A monkey, who can run at 55 kph, was seen escaping the Vancouver zoo. It has been 37 minutes since the caretaker noticed him getting out of the cage after consuming his daily banana. How far has the monkey traveled now?

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@retiredspyy

1 year

Matt’s caption says “Fragile” he was referring to Alex 100%

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@retiredspyy

11 months

is walter white his dealer

EGG BOY 🪩

@EGGBOY_03

11 months

“So Miles was trying to get me to do TLSP in Ireland and I just wasn’t having it”

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@retiredspyy

10 months

He looks like Tangled

sara 🪩🍉

@IastlaughIane

10 months

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@retiredspyy

1 year

she’s thunderstorms was soundchecked!!

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@retiredspyy

1 year

HEAR ME OUT

lila

@faketalesoflila

1 year

‘hear me out’ and it’s the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your whole life

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@retiredspyy

1 year

The ratio of Alex’s weight to Miles’ weight is 7:6. a.) If Miles weighs 69 kilograms, how much does Alex weigh? b.) If the tambourine, weighing 1.5 kg, is added to Alex’s weight, by how many percent (%) is Alex and the tambourine heavier than Miles?

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@retiredspyy

1 year

PEAK BABYGIRL

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@retiredspyy

1 year

why don’t they get him a wireless mic

c ⏣ ⚭

@vllnlls

1 year

the alex turner vs wires saga continues “what the fuck’s going on here!? with the bloody wires?!”

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@retiredspyy

1 year

the band is thriving because they are friends first before bandmates that’s why they’ll never break up amen

ailís ⚭

@thegallicshrugs

1 year

my favourite bits from matt's interview with the new yorker

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@retiredspyy

7 months

HELLO???

car ⚭

@retiredspyy

8 months

studies show that when there’s a nick recent, an alex recent is incoming.. (nick is aging backwards!!)

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@retiredspyy

11 months

i want to know what he ate that day

cas ⚭

@biggesttbhcluvr

11 months

OMG???

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@retiredspyy

11 months

alex turner is the only singer stupid enough to debut a song live on the last day of the tour

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@retiredspyy

9 months

alex with the martini🍸 police

samantha jean 🪩

@loungesingersam

9 months

omg hi alex (i’m insane)

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@retiredspyy

1 year

didn’t get barricade but pretty close ig

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@retiredspyy

9 months

alex is in his ugly Christmas sweater rn and we can’t see him

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@retiredspyy

1 year

alex looks like a greek god when he’s performing on stage but when he’s not, he looks so normal?? like, this guy is breathing the same air as us and watching the same sky? like wdym he also pee and poop? he’s so real that it’s unreal

sippin on that 🇵🇸

@vivafalastin

1 year

just woke up and remembered

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@retiredspyy

10 months

if TBHC and The Car fucked, they’d have the prettiest child called am8

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@retiredspyy

1 year

if you can’t sing along, it’s a you problem

tina 🦕 (fallenfürimmer)

@aghostcookiepls

1 year

idk i could sing along perfectly fine tbh

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@retiredspyy

10 months

keeping my mouth shut… 🤐

alexturnerhands

@alexturnerhands

10 months

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@retiredspyy

10 months

how could he look terribly gorgeous in that terrible outfit

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@retiredspyy

1 year

baby alex turner in The Car.

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@retiredspyy

11 months

fact 1: we’re not getting the brown leather jacket tonight cause Louise stole it fact 2: she’s using 2 different phones for the mirror selfies. could the other one be alex’s?

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