neppy @plumnotes Twitter profile

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neppy

@plumnotes

3 months

plagiarism is kiddie shit. undergrad's idea of academic misconduct. it's just bad work, who cares. i know of citation rings, review rings, advisors scooping their students. a guy who voted *against* his wife getting tenure, blowing up his marriage & the department simultaneously

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

me: ooh whered i go? whered i go?? peekaboo!!! rationalist baby: ok, clearly my priors were off but, given the data available at the time, if anything i was *under-estimating* the likelihood that your head disappeared behind your hands

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

as a kid i'd hear people say "you can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself" and conclude "yeah that makes sense. this dysphoria's not going away so i must not deserve love. i should get used to being alone." so, idk, compared to other maxims i think it's subpar

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neppy

@plumnotes

3 months

@Biggiethelad1 i looked around and apparently this is not public knowledge (surprised bc it was very controversial). i don't have much more to tell, but (1) it's believed her gender played a role in the tenure denial, (2) he's a dick, (3) she's doing well now

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neppy

@plumnotes

10 months

HOLY FUCKING SHIT WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

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neppy

@plumnotes

3 months

@_candroid yeah, what brings it over the top here is explicitly saying "i'll cite your papers if you cite mine". this quid pro quo is still pretty common though since some visas have a soft citation count requirement

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

women's dating advice: just tell him how you feel! men's dating advice: SHE MAY HAVE THE HIGH GROUND BUT YOU HAVE FERAL STRENGTH FROM DESPERATION. HER DEFENSES ARE WEAK ALONG THE EAST WALL. STORM AT DUSK AND END THIS WAR, SOLDIER. GOD KNOWS WE'VE LOST TOO MANY GOOD MEN ALREADY.

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neppy

@plumnotes

3 months

@smoltittynerdgf @Biggiethelad1 yep!

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

bottoms really think they can have everything huh

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neppy

@plumnotes

11 months

why pretend. i do math bc i'm arrogant and obsessed with being smart. i wanna be idolized by professors thirty years my senior. i want a colleague to say my proof is so elegant i must have communed with god, bc he refuses to admit i'm that fucking good with no divine interference

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

being single doesn't feel great but it's kind of like that old joke where a mathematician wakes up to a raging fire, looks around until he spots a fire hose, and then goes back to sleep, secure in the knowledge that a solution exists

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

hey, novice here. what starter emotions do u recommend, for guys trying to get into emotions. (i looked around and couldn't find a "feelings for mathematicians" textbook so im out of ideas)

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

if u feel negatively impacted by the ugliness of square packing, i recommend internalizing the Mathematician's Cope: if these beautiful objects exhibit grotesque and difficult behaviors, it must be the problem that is wrong.

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

@klssyourenemy apologies mean nothing. when i saw the translator changed "dressing female" [literal] to "presenting female" i punched a hole in the wall. please reimburse me for the cost of my wall. contact me ASAP i can't hide it from my mom for much longer

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

you do not need a personality to pass social skill checks. simply be an empty vessel. smile and nod and when they stop talking repeat back the last five words that they said in a tone that is exactly halfway between teasing and inquisitive.

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

this straight girl gets 1.5 drinks in her, all of a sudden she's pulling my head back by the hair to feed me jello shots and "lady and the tramp"ing fries with me. an hour later she's going home with her boyfriend. beautiful. gayest night of my life, performed entirely "no homo"

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neppy

@plumnotes

7 months

if you describe your trauma in a profound and striking enough manner, your therapist is legally required to give you the pill hidden inside their notepad that makes your brain not like that anymore

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neppy

@plumnotes

10 months

we are "so" "back"

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

a modest typology

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neppy

@plumnotes

9 months

i wouldn't press the button to make myself cis anymore. after much emotional processing, i've come to recognize that being able to preface insane dating takes with "as someone who's been both a man and a woman," is easily worth the decades of gender trauma.

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neppy

@plumnotes

10 months

we are sooo back

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

she "please be fucking serious for one second" on my "it really hurts when you constantly dismiss my feelings with your shitty little riffs" til i "i'm leaving you"

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neppy

@plumnotes

4 months

the only body count i care about is the number of "gifted kids" whose souls you crushed from exposure. how many starry-eyed upstarts met you and that night, lying in bed, thought, well. i'd better scale back my dreams

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

need advice: how do i teach my dog that his love-bombing is abuser behavior

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neppy

@plumnotes

10 months

male nerd: i need a gf so fucking bad how can these idiots get gfs and not me if i can't get a high value gf i'm worthless and the dating pool keeps on shrinkinggg me: [trying really hard to balance a pen on my nose] ... huh?!.. don't worry! being worthless is OK 👍

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

pro tip: some ppl can change their hrt to tune their sexuality! i lower my anti-androgen dosage to become more attracted to mascs. i lower my estrogen dosage to become more attracted to femmes. i lower my standards to become more attracted to your mom

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

in an ideal polycule, the "attracted to" graph is a DAG. this supports scaling to arbitrary size, since optimal seating arrangements can be computed in polynomial time

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

research is so beautiful because after two years of hard-fought incremental progress i now truly and deeply understand the mysteries of some bullshit not even i care about

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

today i got added to "the boys" chat AND "the girls" chat. this is why we do it, folks; this is what it's all about.

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neppy

@plumnotes

3 months

if u write a research paper, five ppl tell u "nice work" and four of them havent read it and the fifth secretly hates u bc u have shit methodology. if instead u write gay fanfic where John Wick tells u "You have to be brave" you improve the lives of hundreds of undiscerning teens

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

i have had whole lesbian relationships that felt less gay than this. straight women need to be stopped

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

im scared of girls younger than me. they're too precocious. i can barely manage loneliness, meanwhile the least adventurous undergrad has had three consent-skirting romances with misanthropic swes and is so proficient with the double-edged sword of male attention she's sending

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neppy

@plumnotes

6 months

be serious. he is not doing a "book club" with you bc he appreciates your literary taste. reading a book you recommend is 100% correlated with him vividly imagining you in compromised positions carnally. no exceptions. there's an 85% chance you're a running joke in his group chat

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

is he ok???

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

women in stem are so desperate to feel represented they have to yassify dull esoterica to scrape together a sliver of comfort in their career choice. "schur–weyl duality is hot girl shit! the feminine urge to care a lot about latex typesetting!!" this is a cry for fucking help.

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neppy

@plumnotes

4 months

every child is on a journey to find someone unquestionably sharper than they are academically. once they do so, they are free, to care about anything besides narrowly-defined intelligence. sadly, some children take decades to get there. they are in hell. we call them "professors"

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

hey sorry prof, ugh zoom hates me today.. aha! ok got my audio working i think, can you test it by saying "im so proud of you". sorry can you say it again. again. again. again. *gulp* again

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

i want an ai scaler bf so bad,, i want to cling on his arm as he posts cryptic on 100k follower main then swaps to post how agi will vindicate misogyny-as-ideology on his 2k alt,, i want to memorize his weak points to dump into my endless scroll invective-laden google doc dossier

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

boymoders are uranium-238: liable at any moment to shed the outer shell and decay into a lighter, stabler form

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

god, it's like you didn't even read the Relationship Onboarding google doc i sent you

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

transitioning isn't nearly as perverse as ppl say, but now, after all these desire-altering hormones, when i see a limp-wristed brittle-boned waif i think "it'd be so hot if she overpowered me" and on such occasions i do wonder if i've strayed too far from the light of god

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neppy

@plumnotes

9 months

first date idea: we tell increasingly fucked up stories from our past like a game of trauma chicken. after eight hours of escalation neither of us have even gotten to the really vulnerable stuff but we're fast asleep in each other's arms.

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neppy

@plumnotes

9 months

my gender is whichever one lets me win the argument

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neppy

@plumnotes

11 months

no i don't want to talk about it. i'm actually doing great, it's just that whenever i talk about my feelings it sounds like there's something really wrong with me

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neppy

@plumnotes

11 months

i have a mythic appreciation of construction cranes. they're a global species of modern leviathans, transient creatures of static city skylines. you could spot a towering red beast grazing one day, only to find it gone the next time, leaving behind a monolith of metal and glass.

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

you: the universe is so screwed up look at these squares me, enlightened: pshh we don't even know it's optimal.. it's small n, you wouldn't expect it to be nice... squares aren't rotationally symmetric so this problem is inelegant.,.., it's all lower-order terms anyway

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neppy

@plumnotes

10 months

@1_800_MIRACLE they proved P=NP and P≠NP so all of the other problems follow as corollary

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

i respect women. i think womb tattoos go on your head because that's the birthplace of thought

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

"im so illegible lol" you have 7,000 followers on twitter

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

found out something fun: she's actually interested in me. turns out my obliviousness borders on disability

neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

this straight girl gets 1.5 drinks in her, all of a sudden she's pulling my head back by the hair to feed me jello shots and "lady and the tramp"ing fries with me. an hour later she's going home with her boyfriend. beautiful. gayest night of my life, performed entirely "no homo"

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

i am so close to hijacking the effective altruism movement. i just need a way to bootstrap my suffering to the stratosphere. ea dorks will empty out their pockets when they find out giving me money admits busy beaver type util scaling, ill be their reverse-omelas fucking god

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

we're kissing when suddenly i pull back with a troubled look. "do you ever worry that you'll die happy but unaccomplished?" while i'm staring off into a wall she pulls up a fresh "things neppy says during sex" bingo card and crosses out what i just said. it's in the free space

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

ok never mind you aren't even listening to me. i can see the thought bubble above your head, you're thinking "i should peg him". that's pretty demeaning considering i'm just trying to share my interests with you. also the material i'm covering is dense so you need to be focused

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

why even fucking bother with transitioning when i'll never have the most essential female experience: summering in NYC for a finance internship and spending off hours dming users on meetup subreddits under fake names to find old men who will exchange expensive sushi for empty sex

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neppy

@plumnotes

3 years

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

upon hearing this advice, some ask for clarification on what i mean by "halfway between teasing and inquisitive", to which i respond, "you think you're sooo fucking clever huh"

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

im like erdös but without the amphetamines [useless]

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

@lazerdiskk @klssyourenemy idk man, sounds like ur worried about the wrong kind of presenting female

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neppy

@plumnotes

8 months

good-looking guy with a dog came up to me in the math section of the bookstore like "wow haha there's usually no one here". i respect the game bro but i'm not going to write a paper with u

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

more seriously, new lesbians sometimes ask me "is what i did with her sex? what counts?" some say the ambiguity is part of the fun but there's actually an easy rule of thumb for this. it's sex when the girl who's bleeding is the girl who's holding the knife

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

the smartest thinkers in history? here's what i think :) john von neumann john conway 3blue1brown elon musk steven pinker sheldon cooper (from big bang theory) alan turing (before he was gay) ...OH AND emmy noether because i'm not sexist, i'm not, i'm not!!

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neppy

@plumnotes

9 months

"if u even care" i don't. get a grip. learn the fast fourier transform

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neppy

@plumnotes

7 months

there are lots of ways to be a good researcher, reflecting the many ways to do good research. but there is only one way to be a great researcher: work late, drink lishan oolong, fear intimacy, have soft skin and slender body, maintain an alt account with let's say 946 followers

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

playlists titled "pov: u were groomed" to the nice boy in her os project group to watch him flail around in the web of irony and visibly struggle with whether to "shoot his shot" like all his friends keep saying

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

you pay the premium for cold brew not for its taste, but for its uncanny consistency across time and place, its ability to grind any coffee bean down into identical brown cups of uncertain sweetness and dead wood. pairs well with soylent, suburbs, and not telling her how you feel

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

nod nod nod. yeah it is pretty nice being so tall. yeah i feel safe going out at night. yeah clothes do usually look good on me. oh, no, actually, i'm into women. yeah, women are better anyways. yeah, i'm sure you'd be gay if you could help it. yeah it was nice meeting you

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

dont look so embarrassed, tsa agent, telling me not to lift my shirt. baby, you 'detected' an 'anomaly' and are 'required' to 'inspect' my 'groin'? ive seen porn, i can read the room, sexually, lets do this, im fucking filthy, i know u want my slut tum bared for all of ORD to see

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

i'm a master of de-escalation. i can end a bar brawl with one light touch. sports teams hire me for my non-pep talks that void the competitive spirit of their opponents. i'm banned from hospitals because after cancer patients see me they just don't want to fight it anymore

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neppy

@plumnotes

6 months

what the hell is happening over there man. your 'vibrant scene' is half autistic transfemmes posting "survival instinct is a cognitive bias" and half autistic white men posting "you are morally obligated to donate 90% of your income to me"

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@plumnotes

2 years

@girlbossmoder i like to wheel them to the elevator and ride up and down with it for a couple hours. the threat of accidental death is so thrilling

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@plumnotes

6 months

"im so fucked up and obsessive and awful to be with lmao" <- person who is kind of all of those things but begging for reassurance in a way that is insidious and mundane and sad

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

dating is so stupid. just about passing a bunch of tests. people constantly touching your arm to test how fast your reflexes are. slipping things in your drinks to test how perceptive you are. framing you for armed robbery to test how well you can operate a getaway vehicle

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

all for what? there is no APP to cure the hate in our hearts. there is no SHELL COMMAND to know the pain of being human. there is no—[earpiece guy steps forward, says something in my ear]—Apologies. pandoc has supported conversion from "Cries of existential anguish" since 2015

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@plumnotes

1 year

i'm sad again. but thank god, at least i'm sad in a way that's complicated and unique and way cooler than everyone else's sadness

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@plumnotes

2 years

if you were really a longtermist you would be investing in fundamental physics to make certain god didn't smuggle an infinite number of children stubbing their toes into the folds of the 3+εth spatial dimension

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

chores are like every other problem. have crumbs in bed? if ur cringe and boring, u fix the sheets and sweep them off. if ur based and unwell, u fix ur mind by flooding it with trash. im crumbpilled. im in my "bread in bed" arc. it's worth having ants just to see cleancels seethe

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

bought an order of curly fries and an order of garlic fries for the same meal. i am fucking icarus operating on levels of agency never before seen. i see god and he is my bitch. i can do anything. i can walk into a busy intersection

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

sorry i hate to make things annoying but do you mind calling me ellie when we're among close friends but by my deadname otherwise? also if the number of people around us is divisible by 3 can you call me fizz and if it's divisible by 5 call me buzz and if it's divisible by *both*

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neppy

@plumnotes

8 months

sometimes i want to express antagonistic feelings towards other trans women, but when i introspect i find they're all rooted in my own trauma and self-hatred. with that disclaimer out of the way, here's my list of twitter tgirls who aren't as dysphoric as me but should be🧵

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

Productivity Tip: Can't find the time to work on all your projects? Don't shower! Cut off your friends! Stop eating! THIS ALWAYS WORKS WHENEVER IM BEING A LAZY USELESS PIECE OF SHIT hope this helps!

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

friend: huh, i kinda thought that body language stuff was fake. the body language expert i hired to follow me and read ppl: STOP talking, to this guy. he wants to drink ur piss. oouu yea, his microexpressions r all piss, hes thinking abt slurpin it up. me: thank u. u r my rock

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

@typedfemale why r u leaking my dms. pls respond

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

pathetic life as a failed number theorist, blunt force trauma, awake in a speeding car. pasty techbro throws a binder at me, 15 MINUTES, PREPARE. pages of typewriter math cracking elliptic curve crypto. speakers blasting phonk. he yanks the wheel and drifts through an armed guard

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

im just worried that the name i chose for myself is too stereotypical. like, every other trans women is named luna or stella or andromeda.. are you sure it's not too boring if i make my name IGR J17091-3624?

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neppy

@plumnotes

5 months

good news, guys: the aunt i've never talked to accepts me now because her fortuneteller told her i was "spiritually a girl"

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@plumnotes

2 years

@OttoLontra thanks, i agree for sure. the sentiment is clear for most people, it's just that if you believe you're fundamentally broken the saying feels like rubbing salt in the wound. i think i needed the advice's complement: finding joy and love within yourself demands vulnerability.

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neppy

@plumnotes

6 months

imagine being a computer vision researcher. "oouu, i love fourier transforms soo much.. sometimes i find out a cute new way to use one and then 40000 children explode"

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

i just ordered a cafe's "housemade chai" and then watched as they clearly, unashamed, prepared it from a storebought mix. this is my 9/11.

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@plumnotes

1 year

this girl asked me for a hug out of nowhere and i swear to god i gave the worst hug of all time. i need to be put down

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

mathematician after learning about emotions: *thinks quietly for five minutes* so im pretty sure i can do homology on this

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neppy

@plumnotes

2 years

now that i've transitioned i'm determined to do all the fun girlhood experiences i missed out on: picking out a prom dress, braiding someone's hair, feeling small and scared when my uncle's compliments take a weird turn, slowly and methodically crushing the mind of a lesser girl

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@plumnotes

2 years

@__femb0t @fuzzy_logick i love how the lists of unis and companies are so perfectly designed to cause flame wars

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@plumnotes

8 months

guys i figured out a way we can get this p ≥ np shit sorted. it's called "economics" u losers probably never heard of it. incentive: if you solve it, i will have sex with you and 6 ppl of your choosing. now ppl will finally work on it. (if that's not enough i'll up it to 10 ppl)

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

pov: you are a 39 year old project manager who just figured out why your hyperproductive new hire has unkempt chin length hair and pastel key caps

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neppy

@plumnotes

9 months

i appreciate a professor that schedules a research meeting at 10 and asks "is that too early for you?" thank you for being so considerate. we don't have enough of that in this screwed up society. and yes. way too early

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neppy

@plumnotes

1 year

blah blah blah. that's the sound of me complaining about my gender. soo played out. let's get back to what's important: how the enlightenment ruined my fucking life

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@plumnotes

2 years

hey! before you post that tweet, think: would removing any qualifiers make my tweet more memetic and obviously wrong? if so, do it! i know we all say we care about the truth but, let's be honest, we only care about falsehoods: choosing a few to believe and dunking on the rest.

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@plumnotes

1 year

it's been five years. when does the gender euphoria start? when does a woman's trust stop feeling undeserved? when does it all stop feeling like lying?

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@plumnotes

7 months

during lit review i find a paper by someone who died tragically last year. i skim through it. nice result, clean presentation, wholly unremarkable. suitable. i dump it into the pile of related work on page 3 and try not to think too much. one more citation to add to his legacy

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@plumnotes

9 months

babe, don't put your hand there. choking is too hyper-modern, it reeks of detachment and irony. i want our time in the bedroom to be free of normative sexual practices invented by alienated men flailing in the face of utter loneliness. no, i do love it, but it's about the aesthe—

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