paisley pudge🦎 @paisleypudge Twitter profile

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

15 days

paisley pudge

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Last Seen Profiles

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@YehiOrr

paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

spotify wrapped sucks this year

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 years

pronouncing tarot like carrot to deal aoe psychic damage to any goth in my general vicinity

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

5 years

imagine calling soda "pop". imagine being like " can you grab me a pop at the store" shut the fuck up

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

they're doing it. they're really fucking doing it

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 years

HANGIN WITH THE BOYS TONIGHT

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

hot tubs and baths exist to satisfy the indefatigable human need to get in the soup

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. can i get some advice? now, i love my girlfriend, but last night she told me she has trouble sleeping next to me whenever i'm in my full suit of plate armor, and she asked me to take it off. do you think she might be allied with an enemy kingdom?

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

just got reminded of my favorite clip from when i was playing through fallout 4 years ago

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 months

rotating

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

indescribable rage

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

really endlessly delighted at how my game managed to fuck this animation up so badly somehow

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

garlean politician: its just such an insulting indignity seeing foreigners occupy the imperial palace, a place of such cultural significance to us garleans ala mhigan wol, turning to face zero: yo how many of this guys bones do you think we can break before he dies

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

endwalker's second half is the most Final Fantasy that ffxiv has ever been. if you weren't ready for an abstract allegorical faceoff against a eleventh-hour manifestation of pure despair and Themes idk what to tell you. its final fantasy bro every game is like this

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

im playing gunbreaker in final fantasy fourteen

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 years

pronouncing carrot like tarot to deal ranged single target damage to, like, idk, a farmer or a chef or something. i dont know im sorry im trying my best

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

catboy and catgirl are gender neutral terms as far as i'm concerned. women can and should be catboys

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

sometimes i see people's modded final fantasy xiv characters and i think. you are very pretty indeed but no god would put you on the same plane of existence as tataru taru

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

if im playing summoner and you see my carbuncle running around the arena for no good reason i'm doing this with it

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

if you get a fire iii proc save it for your ice phase, then when you hit max mana use an instant hit transpose and then use said proc under astral fire i, its free potency and will make you feel like a very smart black mage player

Jess Leigh

@Softapocalypses

1 year

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

fuck that ganondorf shit man im busy

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. (holds out a tray of cubes made out of various pure metals) i made you breakfast

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

i'm actually on p4 of dragonsong ult already and haurchefant just started straight up sucking me good and hard through my culottes. the lore implications are massive

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

ready for anabaseios savage

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

every ffxiv gearset in 2023 is either "people like tricorn hats and robes, right" or "put that elf in some god damn Skechers"

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

"aggressive and assertive modes" why does a car need to have tank stance

Emoji Caresser

@LizRummy

1 year

(screenshot as it's from Mastodon)

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

emet-selch screeching "YOU COULDNT TELL CAMP IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT" is actually the only correct interpretation of his character

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

venat x wol is really funny to me cause like. this heartbreaking tale of love across millennia, the very heart of the planet itself awaiting you with desperate anticipation. hydaelyn's brave little spark, soul sundered yet still unmistakably her truest love......... paisley pudge

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

i have covered the song We Built This City

paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

my only recourse at this point is to. cover the song We Built This City

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

girls night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

a simple slave of appetite, a poor slave of appetite

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

bad bitch, autistic / i grab her dick and twist it

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

everyones always talking about leitmotifs but nobody's got anything original to say, they just repeat the same ideas but in different contexts

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

free sloppy at baelsars wall

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

well now i can't tell if i'm joking or not about this being paisley pudge's voice claim

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 months

paisley fucking pudge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love u @catgirlhellart

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 month

haha fuck you monk black mage gets SIX chakras

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

i would fuck brute justice. i would fuck cruise chaser. and i would most certainly fuck perfect alexander

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

rocks!

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

HER BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BABY BOY

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

i think we should stop seeking out dipshits with horrible weird trad-ass opinions + single digit follower counts and giving them massive far reaching platforms by qrt dunking them. maybe

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

im so deeply entrenched in being a transsexual faggot i often forget theres a large portion of american society that still legitimately believes its gay for men to properly clean themselves. 9/11, man

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 years

who the hell ARE YOU PEOPLE

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

3 years

fridge poetry time

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

she blast my penis sorcerer style. she's casting cantrips on my shit. she's practicing thaumaturgy on my shit. she's weaving enchantments with my shit. she's crafting alchemical wonders with my dick. as above so below she's doing great work on my dick

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

reblog to slap her bald head

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

the less people that pay for a blue checkmark, the less people getting shoved aside by the algorithm, and thats one of many reasons yall gotta show some fuckin spine + why people already falling over themselves to buy twitter blue rn are getting a big ol block from me lol

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 months

hey have you seen her arms okay cool

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. (headbumps you like a cat) give me Treats. hey can you give me treats? i love you. i want a morsel. give me some fucking treats i love you. (headbumps you like a cat) good morning

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. me and the girlies are gonna go kill each other with blunt objects later. i'd invite you, but... you deserve to live.

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

the ffxiv devs are doing a lottery for fanfest tickets. given the other thing they implemented a lottery for recently, I'm predicting half the tickets will be bought by one guy who wants to do submarines

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

logging into final fantasy fourteen online just to load up a m*d and take two lazy gposes and log off

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

5 years

i watched end of evangelion for the first time, sat in stunned silence for a moment, stepped outside, twisted my ankle mere moments after closing the door behind me, and laid on the concrete for five minutes

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. gay sex. gay sex. gay sex. gay sex. gay sex. gay sex. gay sex. gay sex. gay sex. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY SEX. GAY S

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. have some soup! please. please have some s (grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you in face to face) have some fucking soup please (starts sobbing) i can't lose you too

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

emet-selch is a sad old queen aged far past his prime with enough pent-up cattiness for a million lifetimes and more opinions on theater/film than you could ever bear to hear

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. ORBITAL PROSTATE STRIKE

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

it would appear i have created a device

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

5 years

I FOUND A KAHO AT ACEN IM YELLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

the most important thing about being a sky pirate is having ridiculous amounts of sweaty freaky gay sex. it takes precedent over the airships, even

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

anyways sorry but it turns out modders do god's work sometimes and there's a tasteful upscale/edit of the new moonfire gear for the big titty bibo shape so now you all actually get to see paisley pudge beach wizard at max power. thanks

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

there are things i want to say that would get me suspended from this website nearly immediately

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. i've prepared a variety of soups and broths for you to test today. i'm disabling your limiters - let's see what you're really made of.

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 months

shes just a silly lil scamp

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

screenshotting for posterity

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

3 months

good morning lesbians shrimp mode 🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 months

Engagement

ribeiro 🍉 COMM SLOTS OPEN

@CAFFSTRINK

4 months

You. Twitter user. You have to compliment someone's fat character without saying they're huggable. Go

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

Start regularly harvesting samples from your parents, elders, and loved ones. With enough of their essence, forbidden thaumaturgical practices and dark arts, there is a 100% chance that you can trap their souls within homunculi upon death and forever bind them in your service

Pratik Desai

@chheplo

1 year

Start regularly recording your parents, elders and loved ones. With enough transcript data, new voice synthesis and video models, there is a 100% chance that they will live with you forever after leaving physical body. This should be even possible by end of the year.

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

6 months

what the fuck is this

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

6 months

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. by divine right i issue this decree to all who inhabit these lands; swear thy fealty to fat butches or forfeit thy claim to life

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

i think final fantasy fourteen players are just bad people

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

some of your asses are so fat they would instantly vaporize thancred if brought within 30 feet of him

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

i dont give a goddamn SHIT if its cringe you'll never take :3 and any of its variants from me as long as i live i will NEVER stop typing :3c you bastards

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

thank god ed sheeran won so now i dont have to root for him anymore

RapTV

@Rap

1 year

JUST IN: Ed Sheeran found not guilty in Marvin Gaye rip-off trial 🙏‼️

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

i love it when art is deeply confusing and borderline incomprehensible but definitely 100% undeniably horny. more art should be like that

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

5 months

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

23 days

@riceacolyte i think every actively transitioning comic artist has made some variation of this comic at some point but heres the specific one

Dani 🏳️‍⚧️

@PaulMcIcedTea

11 months

anyone else

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

2 years

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

my 60 year old mother tipsy off a topo chico that was slightly too fizzy: The thing about labels is, like... they're actually useful sometimes... me, a 25 y.o. gay and transgender twitter user, internally rating genshin impact boys by the tensile strength of their buttholes: mmm

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 months

you can go online and just say literally anything negative about a transgender woman and people will believe you no questions asked

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

happy fat girl friday from paisley pudge

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

3 months

pp...............................................................................................................................................

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

Most Self-Aware Garlean

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

5 months

posting this pp as a ward against the inbound patch day scrawniness

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. in your honor i will be using my 9th level spell slot today to cast Mass Have Gay Sex Forever

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. its fucking shrimp time 🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

i keep that thing on me

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. so! today on the agenda we haaaaave (flips up a page on the clipboard in my hand) ooh, twink fucking. who wants to help fuck these twinks?

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

7 months

i don't think i'm gonna make it oomfies

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

good morning lesbians. i need all hands on DECK today girlies these mental disorders wont sexualize themselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

its very funny to me that both heaven on high and eureka orthos are just Allagan Shit like those freaks couldnt stop building towers and labyrinths

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

5 months

innovating in the realm of pussy right now

Neal Agarwal

@nealagarwal

5 months

The first version of Infinite Craft, an endless crafting game, is out now! >

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

4 months

i just log on to ffxiv and make her do this pose and keep it open all day while i work so that when i falter i can look up at her and find the strength to carry on

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

1 year

fuck it im posting the behind the scenes of that gpose i got earlier because its deeply funny

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

6 months

merry chubby girl christmas oomfies

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paisley pudge🦎

@paisleypudge

3 years

was daydreaming about paisley pudge on a manacutter joyride thru the sea of clouds, and i could hear the score for it perfectly in my head... so i went and wrote it🎶

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