Nick Goff @nickgoff79 Twitter profile

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@ResearchPhilly

Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

If there were a bunch of foreigners currently ignoring government orders on British soil this lot would be the very first to show their outrage.

RT UK

@RTUKnews

4 years

Benidorm + Coronavirus = Managerial mayhem! As Spain becomes the fourth most infected nation in the world… Some Brits are doing their best to avoid virus precautions and carry on with their holiday as normal.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

9 months

Can’t remember but it will have been on talksport

talkSPORT

@talkSPORT

9 months

What's the worst football opinion you've ever heard?

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

7 years

Gabriel Jesus's two goals came on 45+8 mins and 52 mins. So technically he scored his second one before he scored his first one.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

1 year

Big shouts of NOOOO but Partey ignored them

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

1 year

Pro drinkers month starts today. No queues at the bar for a few weeks with all the part-timer sheep doing their silly January detox. Hit it hard in January then duck out in February when pubs get overrun with Six Nations weirdos. Attack January, you know it makes sense. A bosh.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

Is Jorge Mendes her agent too?

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 months

Just argued with a mate that Littler is more likely to win 0 wolrd titles in his life than 10+, so we’ve bet on it with a 2064 cut off. So not only do I need him to lose tonight and every subsequent year to get paid out, I also need to live til 85. Not well thought through.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

I would open pubs for 35-45 year olds exclusively first. The youth can’t be trusted not to go silly and the elderly are at risk if they catch the lurgy. Clear sweet spot of age which can be trusted. Rest of you stay safe at home please, give us a month to check it’s safe out.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

The weirdest football development of the summer by a mile is Wigan Athletic selling a defender called Reece James to Sunderland then loaning a defender from Chelsea to replace him also called Reece James.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

8 months

This is what the Gambling Commission should be concentrating on. Ban fuckwits from ever pressing cash out. That button ain't there for your benefit.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

The top five beers in the UK today: 1. The pre-match beer 2. The barbecue beer 3. The free beer 4. The hotel bar beer 5. The airport beer As you can see, there are a good number of beers in the UK today, which is your favourite?

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

It’s rare you watch a game where both teams are missing the same striker

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

All four European finalists have lost to Wolverhampton Wanderers this season. This is not something I recall saying before.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Brentford don’t go up and Ivan Toney goes somewhere in the Prem and Jonson Clarke-Harris goes to Brentford and Peterborough get someone I haven’t thought of yet and we all do the same thing again next year.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Spare a thought for the West Ham fan who has gone on the pitch there, got arrested and a probable three year banning order, all for a goal that didn’t count.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Just seen this and it's blown my mind.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

The 7/1 seems a little defensive, Patrick.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Look forward to The Sun and The Mail calling this a disgrace tomorrow, despite effectively waging war on Raheem Sterling for a few years for having the audacity to be black and rich.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Why would Sky not put League 1 and 2 games on at 12, 2, 4 and 6 today, before England play at 8? Nothing on all day for football fans. Those clubs are desperate for a little extra money and exposure, more than ever. This could have been lower league weekend.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

I bet they don't sing Hughesy's at the wheel.

Steve Hermon

@SteveHermon

5 years

Ex #WBA striker Lee Hughes appointed player-manager until the end of the season #UpTheYeltz #NonLeague

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

Took my son for a hair cut, barber tells him sit still or I might cut your ear off. I say then we’d have to change your name to Van. Not a murmur from anyone. The barber doesn’t know our surname and the boy is 5 so I’m not sure what I was expecting. Maybe Twitter will like it

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

8 years

The Scousers told us The Sun lied and they told us Roy Hodgson was a fucking fraud. Two out of two.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

1 year

They play because they love it. Put them in a field and they’d still play snooker

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

1 year

Fulham, Everton and Nottingham Forest had a combined 13 shots on target today. They scored 14 goals.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

As if they’ve listed the players this way round.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

7 years

Shout out to EFL for sending Luton to Blackpool & Exeter to Carlisle 6.30 Sun. Always asking fans to be respectful but show none themselves.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

@Josh_Ackland_ I'm 38 ffs.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

1 year

This is what European aways are all about

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

7 years

The top tier standing up there is 100% Koln fans. All dressed in Arsenal shirts to get themselves in. What a thoroughly great bunch of lads.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

Football fans can be so petty, it’s all a bit childish. I think it’d be great to see a former Wolves player who’s gone on to bigger and better things finish the evening with a CL winners medal. No matter what others say I for one am right behind you. Best of luck, Jesus Vallejo.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

8 years

I'd be surprised if they even got out of their group.

Reuters

@Reuters

8 years

Islamic State has Euro 2016 in its sights, German spy chief says

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 months

Sometimes horse racing can’t get out of its own way but whoever pushed for Kevin to represent it in these televised debates gets a big pat on the back because there can’t be anyone better to do it. Man against boy here.

Sky News

@SkyNews

2 months

"Races like the Grand National are cartoonish in their cruelty" Ben Newman from @AnimalRising and @kevinblake2011 debate calls for a ban on horse racing after protests interrupted last year's Grand National More ➡️ 📺 Sky 501 and YouTube

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

7 years

Imagine being this bad at thinking

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

I have some sympathy with VAR at this tournament, trying to settle an argument with women using only facts rarely seems to go well.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 months

This is right up there with the greatest ever

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

For those who don’t watch any Championship football yes, Leeds are this good every week. They are not 20 points clear because sometimes, just like this, they forget to score a goal.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Sometimes I watch sport on TV and say I could do better than that, but I don’t really mean it because I’m nearly 40, fat and only have one working ankle. In this case, however.....

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 months

@Fairplayapp What would you estimate the likelihood of you being around in 2064 to settle the bet?

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Yes, Wolves twitter can be a bit cringe at times but over on Facebook there’s a geezer offering to share his bed for a semi final ticket

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

@tonytorra I agree, pubs should not open before schools. Schools should open at 8.30am, pubs should wait until at least 10.00

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Introducing part one of my FREE tweet cringe reduction service. You’re welcome, Jake.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Paul Scholes will probably do a good job as a manager and have a very successful career doing so, then a few years after he retires as a manager it'll become fashionable to tell everyone was actually a far better manager than they all thought at the time.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

Guesses on votes against then? I'll go for 148. Just because I need 150+ and given my luck lately I won't even be allowed the good badbeat story of 149.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

She’s talking shit again, it’d be a hell of a clearance from here

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

7 years

Celtic could send Rangers to play the second leg for them and still get through. Or at least get to extra time.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

On train to Southampton, couple opposite doing crossword. 1. Her: First ever female MP, Nancy someone, five letters? Him: Reagan. 2. Her: Minor chess piece, four letters? Him: Pawn. Her: No it can’t be, the third letter is W. MORE AS WE GET IT.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

It’s a belter, this. A (red!) flare *landed* in the Wolves end. Just landed there. It was then *thrown* back. Didn’t just land back. Thrown. Amusing.

Liverpool Echo

@LivEchonews

2 years

Liverpool fan bloody and burned after being hit in the face by lit flare

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Hi @metpoliceuk , if you have anything unsolved. Anything unsolved at all.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

“What was 2018 like, Dad?”

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

@darrengrimes_ Hi Darren, I’m Nick from The Daily Update. I was just wondering if I could get an update on this please?

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Just explaining to my wife what the Europa League is, and the range of countries we could be going to on Thursdays next year. “But you wouldn’t actually go to the ones in Azerbaijan or Ukraine would you?” “Haven’t really thought about it yet”. *I have thought about it lots*

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Sky Sports News having a full post-mortem on Man Utd’s Champions League exit, because everything Man Utd & Liverpool do must be examined from every angle. I’ll save them some time. The 3rd best team in a group of four ended up coming 3rd of four. It couldn’t be less remarkable.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 months

Needless to say, I had the first laugh

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

Exam results day tomorrow is it? Great, a day full of pretty talentless cretins who have somehow burgled a career as a minor celebrity tweeting “don’t worry I failed all my exams and look at me now!” Pricks.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 months

If I were betMGM I would simply build a website that’s usable on any type of device before spending a fortune on television advertising to tell the world you’re the new big thing

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

9 months

One by one, the good people of Great Britain are discovering the 2pm live game is Palace v Wolves not Liverpool v Villa and I take huge delight from their collective disgust.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

The youth of this country have been superb during the pandemic. Seeing some people of my age and older now turning on them & calling them selfish or entitled. Bollocks. 16-30 are the best years of your life, they’ve effectively been robbed of one of them.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Just a nudge for you, @metpoliceuk , if you have anything unsolved at all. Here’s your starting place.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Learned more of the neighbours names in two months than I had in eight years. Always worth making the effort to stop and say hello on the daily exercise walk when every single one is a potentially clean 365 account.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

My (Scottish) wife is currently in labour and has just told the midwife ‘you have an hour left to get him out, I am not having a baby born on St George’s Day’ and the midwife laughed like she thought she was joking. She got given the look.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

I think I’ve got a ten, Carol.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Ah, that sense of pride of seeing one Brit left in this tournament, ploughing a lone furrow against the giants of the USA, with a username epitomising everything that's great about our nation.

Kevin Mathers

@Kevmath

4 years

Hand for hand in the WSOP Global Casino Championship. Streaming at

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

This is the opposite of what most football fans are thinking. Comfortably the most interesting thing happening on twitter this week - hopefully they will fire several more shots at each other today and this will spiral into pure hatred.

Henry Winter

@henrywinter

5 years

Really sad seeing Shearer and Owen, two of England’s greatest strikers and two genuinely likeable, intelligent individuals, arguing like this in public. Their dispute demeans both, demeans Newcastle and demeans England. Please get together, sort your differences and call a truce.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Belt up, stand fucking still and wait for the fucking tube in silence.

Mike Galsworthy

@mikegalsworthy

5 years

Ha. London. ❤️

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Seems the people who shouted loudest for 9mths about how unfair it’s been having their freedoms taken away are now also the ones shouting loudest about not wanting any part of the vaccine designed to give freedom back. All based on their vast scientific qualifications, naturally.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

7 years

Defoe would be a worthy winner of SPOTY. Clue is in the 2nd word. What he's done has been selfless, genuine & reflects well on sportspeople.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

Almost certainly, yes.

Sky News

@SkyNews

6 years

Do you think the new royal baby will be a boy or a girl? 👶

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Who's her spokesman, Nicky Henderson?

MSN UK

@msnuk

3 years

Queen has 'entered a new phase' and we 'may not see her until February', say experts

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Jermaine Jenas sounds like someone who would have stood behind you in the 90s while you were playing a fruit machine and advised you on how to play it optimally.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Arrested? Should be Knighted for genius level thinking.

Daily Mail Online

@MailOnline

5 years

Teenager is arrested after buying PlayStation 4 for £8 by WEIGHING it in the fruit section and paying for 6lb of food at self-service till

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Queues out of the door at Las Ramblas KFC as the good people of Wolverhampton rush to soak up the local culture.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

@Wolves I saw this coming to be fair. Remember coming out of Blundell Park after Bully’s hat trick saying to my Great Uncle Wilf what this club really needs now is to enter the Kung Po League by taking over Chending QPRhappy. He looked at me like I was mad, but I was proved right.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

All credit to the (admittedly only a couple of) Spurs fans behind the goal leaving early, when they've not been to a game for 14 months, are only 1-0 down and there's only 7,000 there so no crowd to beat anywhere.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

Daniel Levy showing about as much interest in windows as Joseph Fritzl.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

After having some time to calm down and consider it rationally, I have concluded that is the worst thing that’s ever happened in my life.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 months

Heard so many people around my age talk of stopping drinking and it made them feel so much better. So I’ve given it two weeks. Loads of bollocks. I don’t feel better in any way, haven’t become more productive or suddenly morphed into a good person. Trial over, back to normality.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Who’s seen first in public: The Queen 4/7 Shishkin 11/8 Winners welcome. Machine watchers can buzz off. Any bet over £500 needs to send me two years of bank statements and a letter from your Year 7 maths teacher to prove you can count.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

1 year

It’s very well known that tweets only resonate with Aston Villa fans when you mention 1982. So in 1982 Stevenage FC were playing in the United Counties League Division One.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Been restricted by Lilibet already. That Meghan runs a tight ship.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

Right, a thread about Aston Villa and what they’re doing. This will get a bunch of replies about sour grapes or jealousy but that’s football fans, let them say it. To analyse football properly, forget the club’s name and judge the actions.

villareport

@villareport

2 years

Breaking: Aston Villa are exploring the possibility of signing Luis Suarez on a free transfer. [via @JBurtTelegraph ] #avfc

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

“Not scenes we’d wish to see” my arse. There’s a boy about 8 years old running round a pitch by himself 1000 miles from home. World class.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

As I hit 40 I really do feel I’m becoming more relaxed & losing a lot of the argumentative, angry edge which, for better or worse (prob worse) defined my 20’s & 30’s. The rage is dying down, with one exception. The Australian cricket team. Fuck them. Fuck those horrible bastards.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

My Dad’s been shielding for 11mths, hasn’t really gone anywhere except a few walks in the summer. Got in his car for the first time to drive to the vaccination centre, smashed into a taxi and wrote it off. He’s fine and won’t mind me seeing the funny side but how’s your luck ffs.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

8 months

@DavidGreenwooda if skint, yes. This comes back to the thing about how many times you will be in that position. If it's a spot you'll be in numerous times a year you do what's value. If it's a one-off potential life-changer the notion of value is secondary to ensuring you get the money you need.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

Well, that’s me done for the day. Would like to think maybe one day we’ll have one better. But he’ll have to be some player.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

2 years

Seeing some suggestions of sadness that one of Italy or Portugal won’t make the World Cup but a) watching them meet in a one off eliminator which both would view as a total disaster to lose will be must watch and better than see them play each other in Qatar and b) fuck ‘em.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

THE TOP FIVE HANGOVER CURES IN THE UK TODAY: 1. The full fat Coke 2. The go back to sleep 3. The hair of the dog 4. The full English 5. The brisk dog walk As you can see, there are some excellent hangover cures in the UK today. Which is your favourite?

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

In the dog house now for making too much noise coming in and singing in the street. “At this time? Really? What will the neighbours think?” They’ll think we’re going to Wembley, that’s what they’ll think.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

Roses are red, Here’s something to ponder

Wolves

@Wolves

9 years

Double sub for Wolves at the break: Benik Afobe and Nathan Byrne replaced by Grant Holt and Adam Le Fondre.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

Would love to see Jurgen Klopp’s face when he sees how many substitutions Sainsbury’s are allowed to make.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Spelling and grammar Nazis can get a bad press but we must ignore the abuse and continue God’s work all the time confusing “into” and “in to” changes the meaning of a sentence as much as this one.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

How are Aston Villa supposed to compete with clubs who spend crazy money on players like Adam Le Fondre?

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

4 years

Right, it’s about time to go out & get properly smashed, turn up at 2am, fall up the stairs & wake the whole house up, then finally surface half dead about midday tomorrow to be told I’ve ruined Christmas & promise it’ll all be different next year. For the 22nd consecutive year.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

1 year

Penalties are scored about 75% of the time (even by the best takers). If you take two of them in the same game it's close to 50-50 (45-55ish) that both aren't goals. It's not really 'guts' (guts were needed for the first one too), and it's not even really unlucky. It's maths.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

It's all about the interviewer asking Warnock the right questions with the right tone now. If you gently prod him, wind him up carefully, slowly, slowly, you could get the proper meltdown we all want to see.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

3 years

If England win the group I make them 11.85% to win the tournament. If they come second that becomes 9.47%. If you go to the pub tonight & someone tries telling you we're better off coming second, tell them maths can be hard but not hard enough to prove they are definitely wrong.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

TOP TIP: Create your own BDO darts match by writing the number 501 on a piece of paper and subtracting 26 or 41 from it every 20 seconds.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

6 years

Those are the astonished faces of people who have sat patiently through 35 years of underachievement, nothingness and Dean Saunders witnessing a truly world class footballer playing for their team.

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

7 days

24 people in a preseason game where you have to pick four Prem players whose season league goals add up to exactly 21, and all four of them must score at least once. 3 out of 24 nailed it. Utterly ridiculous for three to do it (my effort bust by two as Trossard scored too many).

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Nick Goff

@nickgoff79

5 years

I see all the cathedral fans are out in force tonight. Never mention their love of cathedrals on the other 364 days of the year do they?

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