Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter @nameshiv Twitter profile

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@MaxStrafe

@apollianus

@stolenVAL

Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

OMG my brother in law, the gift that never stops giving, was tired of being sent to get rice every day so he decided buy in bulk, talked to the shop about it, wires got crossed, now there is a literal TRUCK FILLED WITH RICE outside the house and my sister is losing her shit lmfao

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

6 months

The current disconnect between Western governments and their people is insane

Francesco

@rhtypus

6 months

Westminster Bridge. In our millions

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Heard my downstairs neighbor shouting "GET INSIDE NO GET INSIDE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE GET INSIDE" at about the same time 3 mornings in a row so looked to see what the new pet was and turns out its a roomba

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

I have a friend with bipolar disorder I've known 15 yrs and when he gets manic he stays up really late memorizing song lyrics and every so often he'll call demanding I play him at FIFA immediately but he somehow manages to never hand it to Hitler so idk about this excuse for Ye

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

3 years

TIL that the Filipino guy downstairs who speaks no English in fact speaks perfect English and is a retired English literature lecturer and has been pretending to avoid speaking to our other neighbour who is an asshole and I think I just found my new best friend

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Apologies if this has ever come up before, but has the UK considered reviving the economy by joining a large economic and political consortium of countries nearby, say in Europe?

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

3 years

For years I struggled to recreate my grandmother's recipes till I discovered that "tablespoon" in her recipe book didn't actually mean tablespoon but referred to this random goddamn spoon she had in her kitchen & all the other measurements in there had similar logic

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

2020

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

I cannot believe Tim Cook just landed the haymaker of the year but facts are facts

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

9 months

Protip: If youre gonna wear traditional attire youre not used to, energy like this will carry you a really long way

Instablog9ja

@instablog9ja

9 months

Caucasian couple proudly rocking Nigerian native attire

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 months

my fav part is how you get to spend quality family time replanting the bushes everytime someone parks in or leaves the garage

Harrison Finberg

@harrisonfinberg

4 months

New houses in the mid 300’s, American dream is alive in Delaware

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

guy at coffee shop in front of me got to the counter, went "SHOTS!" & without missing a beat the lady lines up like 3 espressos, he downs the lot, goes"THANKS! TOMORROW" & leaves & I'm looking at her like what actually just happened & she's like "Oh Brad likes shots"

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

been wondering why Musk has been melting down today and turns out he's now lost like 1/3rd of his wealth since he started this fiasco of a takeover and it's now almost certain that he will never own Twitter because he simply cannot afford it

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

11 months

The orcas attacking boats after a female orca was injured by a rudder is fascinating but when you discover that what they're actually doing is tearing the rudders off the boats and leaving them to drift helpless to hurt another orca ever again it becomes the greatest thing ever

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Yes knives are also dangerous and if they ever come up with a knife that you press and it stabs like dozens of times a minute and can mutilate 20 people so badly their bodies need to be identified by DNA swab then we should also prevent people from getting those knives, agreed

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

Wait so Henry Cavill quit the Witcher show that was basically the Henry Cavill Show in order to act in the new Superman movie but didn't actually get a commitment from the Superman movie people & now theyre not casting him woow anyway heres an agent with an opening for new client

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

7 months

This is actually a great example of how large language models that are frequently alleged to be AI are neither truly A nor at all I, but simply an aggregator filtered through the worldviews of those who created it

Ramy Abdu| رامي عبده

@RamAbdu

7 months

Do Palestinians deserve to be free?

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

3 days ago, one of the cats stopped eating. A day later, another joined him. Yesterday all of them refused all meals. After panicking that they were sick/dying we investigated. They are fine. The same cannot be said for the next months supply of dry food that no longer exists

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Some highlights: "Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Hold on to it. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world"

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

Marie Kondo gotta be the most unlikely polarising figure of my lifetime, all that lady said was get rid of shit youre not happy with and I swear the media in this country has spent half a decade trying to find new gotchas to throw at her every week, it's beyond bizarre

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

11 months

I dunno but this is the best tweet of all time

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@y8wlr

11 months

what’s the worst tweet of all time

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

Ben Shapiro being Very Very Angry that a whodunit misled the viewers in the first half is legit the funniest thing to happen in 2022

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

almost everything you know about the talent and genius of the ultra-wealthy is a staged production for image purposes which is why what is happening here is so special because we are actually getting to watch an alleged global business genius trying to run a business in realtime

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

How to know quality of Indian food while phoning in order: "Hi this is xyz restaurant"= stick to tandoori "Helloooo"= expand to rice and paneer dishes "WHAT IS IT??"= empty your ATM and order everything

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Ok, since Google has done a doodle for his birthday today and some ppl are wondering who he is, gather around children, it is storytime. A story that starts with a secret. Superheroes do exist in real life. Well one did. Meet Ghulam Mohammad Baksh Butt AKA The Great Gama.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

7 months

Unpopular opinion: There has never been a serial killer who was a genius, just police departments that were criminally incompetent

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

The next time you think youre overreacting, remember that Elon Musk is really willing to pay $43 billion just to prevent people from laughing at him on Twitter

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

It's kinda fascinating to me how over the last 7 days, France no longer thinks that face coverings in public will lead to the immediate collapse of the Republic and how Italy suddenly wants those thousands of nurses it refused entry for being too brown to please come back

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

This quote does not appear in Dune

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update 2: BIL wants everyone reading this to know that I'm dick for livetweeting it and this is not helping

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

11 months

I have literally zero idea how to explain any part of this but a state park set up cameras to run a sting operation to see who was stealing hand sanitizer and instead caught a Penn State prof having sex with his dog, there is no salvaging this simulation, time for hard reboot

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Key Update: Cigarettes were in fact a huge strategic blunder because BIL apparently assured sis that he's definitely finally quit smoking on Sunday and in no way shape or form was supposed to have packs of cigs just there in pocket ready to be used as negotiating aid.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

I thought Twitter had some good Main Characters but then I wandered onto Tiktok and within 8 seconds discovered a lady who is out here insisting Rome never existed because white supremacy and hoo boy, Twitter, the bar has now been set

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

To clarify, this is India so when I say truck, I don't mean SUV, IT IS A LITERAL LORRY FILLED WITH RICE

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

11 months

Found my grandmother's written recipe for her legendary dal, reproducing verbatim here because like her, I think step by step recipes are important 1) Boil dal 2) make tadka 3) Add tadka 4) serve

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: Mom is not going to bed just yet, I invoked this ridiculously large audience and it swayed her. I think she may be judging y'all for caring this much about rice, but she's been judging me my whole life too, you'll be fine

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

Shoutout to Elizabeth Holmes whose upcoming incarceration has apparently suddenly alerted a whole army of columnists and DC pundits in the year 2022 to the fact women having babies does not cancel their jail terms

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

10 months

way too many people seem to have forgotten that striking was the play nice alternative devised to burning the factory owner's house down with him in it

Mário Coelho

@MSeabraCoelho

10 months

I don't think studio execs realise that striking IS the compromise, and that making people lose their houses might backfire in irreversible ways.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Final terms: 23 bags, one bottle Old Monk, one bottle scotch*. Everyone is exhausted. * Lorry driver is the best fucking negotiator of the lot

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

6 months

The need for Independence Days worldwide

Science girl

@gunsnrosesgirl3

6 months

Without Googling, name something the UK invented

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

If you have never heard a woman destroy a man with one sentence 25 times in a row you should meet my sister. She's terrifying rn, I'm on the phone and I'm scared and she isnt even angry at me lol

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Also all of you enjoying this need to join me in thanking Mom for going above and beyond the call of duty and carrying phone between locations & also relaying key info while somehow also social distancing so we can continue bringing you our live reporting on this unfolding crisis

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

The Maggie Haberman book has convinced me that one of the best things you can do for journalism other than subscriptions to local and reliable publications, is refusing to buy books by political journos that revolve around things they learned on the beat ESPECIALLY if unreported

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Please tell me they are going to call the Musk scandals Elongate or else what was the point of any of it

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 months

Historically when you have to airdrop aid to get it past a blockade it usually means you are circumventing an enemy, not an ally

Barak Ravid

@BarakRavid

2 months

BREAKING: Biden says U.S. will begin airdropping aid into Gaza. My report on @axios

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Mom is making everyone eat food while we wait. Ironically there is no rice on menu.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: Dad has also come outside and joined outside reporting crew. Mom asked him why are you here and his response was why are YOU here? We are all here

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update to Drama: BIL had come in to explain that driver insists they'll have to take the rice(and pay) but midway through thouht better of it and is now negotiating with driver again. An excellent demonstration of the flight instinct in mammals when confronted with mortal peril

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

as a horror writer, I can now confirm to ou with evidence that anything can be horror, I just watched a man's face curl up in abject terror at the words "Why Is It Still Outside My House?"

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

Reuters will never headline this the way they cover Ugandans in the USA, but they are being charged with torture and murder of a 10 year old child

Reuters

@Reuters

1 year

U.S. couple detained in Uganda gets fresh charge that carries death penalty

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

8 months

My ex is German, her grandfather was nazi like most of his peers and once a year the family goes on his birthday to his grave to spit on it and curse him for the shame he brought them, even the descendants of nazis don't defend the the way these internet cloutchasers do

🌈 Hailey Piper (updates/recs)

@HaileyPiperSays

8 months

Apparently I have over 80 mutuals with this trash, so I'll share screenshot in case you're someone who needs to clean house. And yes, doing this before the weekend of Yom Kippur is exactly what it sounds like.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

7 months

there is simply not enough time travel literature about Vincent Van Gogh, who died thinking everyone hated his work and whose only sale in his lifetime was a pity purchase by his brother, arriving at the Van Gogh Museum

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: Bereft of victims for the moment, sister is now asking me if I knew about this. There may be a slight lull in updates while I swear innocence and try to avoid becoming collateral damage in this tale of Indian Carnage

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: BIL is now negotiating with lorry driver. My requests to keep phone on speaker so I can here have been coldly rebuffed. I can however confirm that bribe has been offered and rejected. I cannot say whether this was a question of principle or price

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

So this whole incident gonna be named Pizzatate, yes?

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Neighbour Uncle has unemerged because he was not wearing a mask and Neighbour Aunt was shouting at him

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Lorry Driver wants them both to know that he too is married.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

so if you click on someone's blue check it now tells you whether they were verified for Reasons or cash and not only is this remarkably clumsy, it also helps you know who to tweet this at

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

Turns out Andrew Tate is a literal sex trafficker under arrest as we speak and this raises the question of how Greta Thunberg can call herself an environmentalist or climate activist when she was out burning garbage in public just yesterday

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

people across from me are having a cookout and one Indian guy is teaching them how to make "traditional paneer" and so far I cannot tell if my dude has legit no idea how to do this or he is just trolling all these white people, 10/10 performance

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

BIL just asked Neighbour Uncle to help with bags. I don't think I've ever seen a senior citizen walk home that fast.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Mom is scolding dad for demanding to speak to Manu. Dad has been banished back inside as punishment.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Correction: He is not a senior citizen apparently. My mistake.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Manu clearly believes in getting all sides in a conflict before coming to a decision because he is now speaking to lorry driver's assistant. A wise judge. Maybe he'll want to speak to me too. One can but hope.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

BIL Update: Warehouse Owner still not taking calls but they have reached some chappu of his who told them to call someone called Manu, he'll take care of it. Thats all we know about him. He's Manu, this his number and he'll take care of it. He is the Mr Wolf of warehouse cockups

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

BIL is now saying he can do 10 bags but does Manu want a bottle of scotch thrown in? I deeply admire this man's commitment to corruption.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Reminder that yesterday in Loving County, Texas, a man called Skeet Jones was arrested for being a cattle rustler along with the man helping him, a guy named Leroy Medlin. They are still waiting to see a judge because Loving is a small county whose sitting judge is.. Skeet Jones

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

the greatest thing the internet gave us was the ability to bully corporations

Robert Alan

@rawbbie

1 year

LMAO

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: Lorry driver just laughed at something BIL said. BIL also laughing. Cigarettes may have been a masterstroke by BIL. We are moving our reporting back indoors to inform Sis.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

When you google Queen the immediate drop down is of the band and a Freddie Mercury pic and not any ruler in the world and this may actually be the single greatest achievement by an Indian

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: BIL is making headway. Lorry driver and helper have accepted cigarettes from him. Negotiations have resumed while all 3 smoke.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Hold on a sec, so you have to send your kids to a school where they can't learn about racism or slavery, nobody can wear masks, nobody should get vaccinated, everyone should have gun, nobody should be checked before getting gun & maybe I'm being foreign but what the actual fuck

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Side update: They also apparently have to unload the rice themselves.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

BREAKING NEWS: Manu Is Coming

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

In a tragic twist, Lorry Drivers marriage was not deemed worthy of discussion by anyone. Lorry Driver is now my rooting interest

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

The lorry driver has shared that he however, would rather like a bottle of whisky. He is also willing to accept rum. He's accomodating like that.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Manu is now speaking to lorry driver. Driver is getting animated. He is the real victim(I kinda agree)

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Fuck Pulp Fiction, the actual great film that would never ever get made today is Oh Brother Where Art Thou, 0% chance they ever greenlight a period piece take on the Odyssey thats actually a Depression musical framed as a quest comedy again, and we are all so much poorer for it

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

BIL just played the "are you married" card. This is escalating. Manu's sense of husbandly empathy has been invoked.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: I have convinced sister that I am not party to this. However Mom and I have fled back outside because dad just walked in and asked sis "what is this truck outside why did you call it?"

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Manu's work is done. He is leaving. This is not the only crisis he needs to solve tonight, no doubt. No rest for the elite specialist

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

3 years

The Bill Gates news is proof that the biggest difference between a kind billionaire and a movie villain style billionaire is the quality of the NDA

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Dad attemped to break curfew and come back out. He has now claimed he's done with the whole thing and doesnt care and also where the hell is dinner and he is going to room to watch news because state of the world matters more than a ruddy truck. Valid points, but I am skeptical.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

holy shit a lot of y'all care about my BIL and his misadventures with rice trucks. We're still waiting for Manu so consider this an ad break. Get popcorn, visit the loo, order some rice.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

First however, Manu obv has to talk to driver again. Manu seems to be a talker, he has lots to say to everyone. Still nothing to say to me though. Hey Manu, nobody likes a snob, you know. I'm a person too.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Manu is now speaking to BIL again. So far he has shown no interest in speaking to us. This is humbling.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 months

This cat used to spend the whole night wandering the house mewing pitifully so figured he could use a friend and got him a cat buddy and now I have two cats wandering the halls mewing pitifully all night

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

they gotta recall that board game Pandemic and issue a new version where like half the players are working for the virus

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: Warehouse Owner is not taking calls. Spot negotiations have resumed.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

10 months

Update: There was a brief power cut and it is now exactly 100 people.

More than 100 people trapped at Agatha Christie's house

A visitor, who was stuck at the site, feared they may have to remain there for hours to come

www.devonlive.com

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

wait why is the animal vaccine underlined instead of the possible child trafficking outlined in the first sentence

Bad Vaccine Takes

@BadVaccineTakes

1 year

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

7 months

the conspiracy theorist in the family first told me he'd be glad to hear one good reason why he is wrong but is now very upset with me because I told him no govt on earth is gonna spend what it costs to secretly microchip him because he isn't worth the effort and expense

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

@Cobratate @GretaThunberg you spent your life training to fight only to get your face kicked in by a teenage girl with one sentence well done tater

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: Manu is not answering the phone.

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

ITS NOT OVER OH GOD NOW WHO WILL UNLOAD 23 BAGS ARGUMENT HAS STARTED

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

Update: Calls are now being made to owner of warehouse

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

1 year

Spent my childhood in India learning how many bajillions of mangoes we export to USA from India every year and now that I am in USA it is impossible to find even one halfway decent mango here WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITH ALL THE MANGOES

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

Two years ago today my BIL made a choice and I still thank him for it

Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

4 years

OMG my brother in law, the gift that never stops giving, was tired of being sent to get rice every day so he decided buy in bulk, talked to the shop about it, wires got crossed, now there is a literal TRUCK FILLED WITH RICE outside the house and my sister is losing her shit lmfao

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

3 years

Meanwhile when my other Gran died her daughters fought FOR DAYS over her recipe notebook that nobody was allowed to touch till they finally decided to just copy the recipes down & so they opened it & found out there was only 1 entry & it said "Book that I pretend has recipes"

Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

3 years

For years I struggled to recreate my grandmother's recipes till I discovered that "tablespoon" in her recipe book didn't actually mean tablespoon but referred to this random goddamn spoon she had in her kitchen & all the other measurements in there had similar logic

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Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter

@nameshiv

2 years

For all its faults Twitter was actually perfect because nowhere else can you hit like on tweets explaining the economic decline of Ancient Babylon by a historian and one scroll later be debating with 3 ppl you'll never see ever again whether Anakin Skywalker was a top

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