(what that meant in the 1990s was that my parents taught me that queer people were human beings worthy of being treated the exact same as everyone else, which was quite radical at the time lol.)
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my father is a municipal judge. In 2013 NM made gay marriage legal. In protest, every judge in his county stopped performing ALL marriages. Except my dad, who bought a rainbow bow tie and had me rewrite his vows to be gender-neutral. Here he 9 months later at his 80th ceremony.
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(the town my parents live in is the VERY FIRST town in NM when you drive south on I-25. So people from Colorado wanted to come down to NM to get married, of course, as it wasn't legal there yet. My father made this possible and much easier for many, many people.)
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also I should note this was, like, a controversial thing at the time. People were mad my father chose to do this. One guy told him at morning coffee he was going to come and "see what you're up to" and my dad said he'd have him held in contempt if he tried to disrupt things.
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many judges had said they would just stop marrying people so my father was waiting for this. "I'm gonna be the marrying man!!" he crowed. "Hell if you can buy a bowl of marijuana in Colorado a man should be able to marry another man."
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my father married one of my close high school friends to her girlfriend, they came from CO specifically for this. (unfortunately it didn't last) All my queer high school friends were like "oh yeah that makes sense, your parents were always the "cool" ones about it."
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anyway we have this joke in my family that we have a family motto: you can't just let people get away with things. Which makes me unbearable sometimes, I know, and has played out in many ways in my life (and in the lives of my family) but it basically means: do what's right.
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my dad has really been through it the past few years: he's had a TBI, brain surgery, COVID (twice), and cancer. But he's still fighting.
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anyway since this is a hit tweet and you are all here support New Mexico's Transgender Resource Center
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Twitter is sometimes magical, y'all. You can't tell me any different. Check out this whole thread!!
@misskubelik
He did the most amazing thing for us that day. When nobody else in our families accepted us, he did, he showed up to the court house even though he'd just left for the day.
We drove from Denver straight down and we were so worried when they'd told us that he wasn't there.
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@misskubelik
Also what it meant was that your parents wouldnโt forbid you to see them. They wouldnโt trash talk them in public. They would have a welcoming home. That was (and is) huge.
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@fradmin
Oh for sure!! My high school friends brought their first college boyfriends and girlfriends to meet MY parents. It impacted me in so many ways!
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@misskubelik
Amazing! Was a bit grumpy from some events today and reading this really helped my mood
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@misskubelik
Super nice. So glad to see this story. My eyes are leaking and heart swelling. Just amazing balance to other news and then the responses! ๐๐ You really do get nice from kind.
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@misskubelik
Your father is lovely and valiant. You were very fortunate to be raised by such a man. Please give him my kindest regards.
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@misskubelik
I have a gay mom, and even in the late 2000's, I recieved so much shit for it. I didn't care though, and started my school's first GSA which still lives on today. The court officiant who married my mom and her wife was so excited despite others refusing to do it(cir 2013, MD).
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@misskubelik
@JoyRoseM
I was a music major in the 80s at the peak the AIDS crisis. My mom let my gay best friend live with us over the summer because his mom didnโt want him home. She had an open door policy for all of my gay friends.
She was a bit progressive for a woman born in the 1920s.
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