I fucking did it. I am one year sober!!! 🙏🙌🏻🎉
This year has offered me unparalleled happiness, creativity, growth and freedom. I am so proud. Thank you for all your support.
Cheat in exams, piss your neighbours off on purpose, sit in someone else’s seat on the train, pull a sicky with a hangover if you must but...
DO NOT take the minus offer on The Chase.
Sick fuck.
Hey
@TheXFactor
, don’t share my original audition on FB and then delete my comments about my new tour and what I’m doing now.
That’s quite shitty of you. I took an independent route and that’s ok :).
Don’t be shit. Censorship is shit.
I don’t deserve that, do I? 🤗🤔
8 months sober today.
Finding fitness through sobriety has changed my bloody life.
Just got out of the shower (Budweiser prohibition was my shower beer of choice). I’d love to say I don’t wear my towel like this all the time but I really do. Tits everywhere.
Just overheard some fucking gorgeous men* at the pub rating me and my wife out of 10.
I was a 3 ☹️and she was an 8 🤔.
Obviously their system is flawed because she’s a 10.
So that makes me at least a 5.
I feel empowered at last 😏.
*ugly cunts.
Just so you know I’ve taken part in a scientific experiment curated by myself and the results are in:
If you eat & drink whatever you want over a two week period whilst in the USA you can put on 8lbs.
For science.
'They say the first year's the hardest,
But I know that can't be true,
'Cos I've been married two years now,
and I find nothing hard about,
Being with you.’
- 'Thanks For Choosing Me' from album no. 5. 😚
Happy two year anniversary, my beautiful lady. <3
Thinking of the 22 beautiful bees that took flight a year ago today.
The world is constantly inspired by the stories of you, your friends, your families and the survivors of that night.
You have shown that love and strength will overcome the darkest of intent. Always.
🐝
Imagine being one of the 189 people getting in touch with the BBC to complain about two people DANCING together on TV.
I hope they never stay up late enough for Naked Attraction, fucking weasels.
4 months.
Today I am feeling accomplished, emotional, determined and very, very proud.
Still working on being the kinder, truer, more thoughtful, more honest version of myself. And I’m enjoying the change. 🦋
#sobriety
By far, the best thing about being in a same sex relationship is being able to text the other half SOS when there’s no toilet roll in the loos.
👨❤️👨👩❤️💋👩
6 years ago I was a plumber’s apprentice for this bloke.
I played him a few songs in the van and a few days later he took me to his mates and I recorded my first album there.
Last year I had my fourth Top 40 Album AND I fitted my own bathroom.
What a guy.
To me, an intruder has signed their end of life disclaimer once entering a home that isn’t theirs.
Shouldn’t be down to the homeowner to consider what’s reasonable force in the moment they find a stranger in their house.
If you’re gonna play with fire, you’re gonna get stabbed.
What a difference a year makes...
I quit drinking a year ago tomorrow. Bad picture, but it’s the truth of so many mornings-after.
I rewired my relationship with my vices and now I want to help people do that too.
@FullyRewired
is very much on it’s way.
Been looking for someone to have a charity boxing match with! 🥊
(When I say someone I mean a vocally right wing person who I loathe)
Rachel Riley is looking a bit tasty for the role, isn’t she!?
For the cause, like!
That’s all my Harry Potter books in the fucking bin.
JK Rowling being openly transphobic ain’t the one and has removed the magic.
TERFs, fuck off.
Trans women (WOMEN), I am fucking sorry the world is so ugly sometimes. I stand with you and will always defend your rights.
Start my ‘lean bulk’ today with
@ESGfitness
.
I cannot wait to see what the men who already accuse me of taking steroids and tell me ‘I’ll never get a man looking like a man’ say.
Jokes, I don’t give a shit 😂
One third of Britons:
‘All these fucking police, putting THEIR LIVES on the line, trying to save OUR LIVES all the time.
They’ve gone too far!
Let’s all go to the beach and be ravished by this highly infectious, fatal disease.
Let’s spread it to our selfless NHS workers too!’
#5
album in the
@officialcharts
!!!!!
YOU DID THAT!!!
This might not seem much to a lot of artists out there, but this is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me.
THANK YOU!!!
My 6th album ‘Choices’ from the hardest part of my life is
#5
.
@lspraggan
saw you on this morning, but it does not suit you with blonde hair I didnt even know it was you till it said it was you on the sofa please go back to your proper colour hope your song does well and the tour
My wife is the most important person in my life.
To have be treated equally is everything.
Equality for everyone, everywhere. That is true love.
It's happening. 🏳️🌈❤️
My heart is so broken for Caroline.
She was such a genuine and kind person. I am so, so sad.
The press in this country need to be held to account - our teardown culture is disgusting.
If you jump on the bandwagon I hope you feel fucking disgusting too. Stop.
I feel like poo and all I want is a piece of normal toast and a brew.
American bread is oddly sweet and the milk is different, and when you ask for toast it’s literally just bread 😭😭😭. Home in two days and smashing it down to Morrison’s man
I know everyone is seemingly happy around this time of year but the reality is Christmas can be really shit for a lot of people.
If that’s you, I hope you find some strength and peace this Christmas, I really am thinking of you. 💙
Seeing videos on FB of people leaving their dogs in their cars in this weather.
Not only will I be smashing windows if I see it, I’ll be smashing windscreens, mirrors and lights for good measure.
We don’t deserve dogs.
JUST DONT DO IT.
My album was at
#8
in the midweeks... I would LOVE for it to stay in the top 10!!
This is the only thing I can think of that I haven’t done 😂😂.
‘TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY’ out now 😂😂😂🤷🏻♀️🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
puts bread in the toaster
Don’t say it....
Dont say it...
Don’t say it...
Dont say it...
Don’t say it...
Dont say it..
Don’t say it..
Me: with some tea and toast 🤦🏻♀️
Love being British at the hairdressers.
*At the basin for the hair rinse*
“How’s that water temperature for you?”
(The molten liquid melts the front half of your skull away)
“It’s perfect, thank you.” 💀😫
The. Girls. Have. Arrived. 🍒
Thank you
@CosmedicareUK
for being absolutely unreal.
34D for those that are wondering! 👌🏻
255cc Nagor Perle implants, surgery by the legend that is Mr Dan Widdowson!
Came out of surgery a little while ago and just can’t stop thinking about all people that work in the medical profession.
You all amaze me, thank you for what you do!
Absolute heros. 🙌🏻
A man cut me up on my moteybike today, pulled up next to him at the lights n he opened his window to say ‘WHAT’
When he did he somehow unknowingly dropped his lit cigarette on his passenger seat, I nodded at it and watched him burn his hand in his panic to get it out
Brilliant
Three years ago today I asked this little ribbon of joy to marry me.
We’ve been married two years in June and they have been the happiest and best years of my life.
@ge0rgie_gordon
, more to come! 😍
Every single tv ad this evening is black. Morrison's, Hive, Sainsbury, and all the rest. I'm going to take a stand & not buy from these companies until they *see me*. I'm white & I live in a majority white country. I exist. It's going to be difficult but that's my mission.
Living my best life with my best wife.
27 today.
Who’d have thought it?! This year I’ll be doing my biggest ever UK tour and first proper USA tour, whilst writing my 5th album.
Feeling so happy, thanks for being there for the ride. 🙌🏻❤️
I can’t believe there is a possibility that this country will end up without our National Health Service.
It was the first thing I thought about this morning - we need the NHS, our NHS is a distant dream for other countries.
Give it what it needs to thrive, don’t kill it. 🌹
What are my main hobbies?
Scrolling through Netflix, picking a film, playing 4-6 minutes of it, turning that off and starting the scrolling cycle again.
So, I guess I can FINALLY get my hair cut!?
As long as my hairdresser meets me in the park?!
Oh and we both walk there, or even better, ride bicycles!
We can’t play sports though as we’re from separate households which is a shame.