You’re reading the minimally illustrated, minimalist experimental novel “Gaps” as it’s written in real time. Real. Good. Dialogue. Premieres exclusively on X!
To my children,
Kids, you will inevitably text me one day to tell me you discovered a show called
@FriendsTV
.
There was an amazing actor on that show named
@MatthewPerry
. He played the character “Chandler Bing”.
He was one of the funniest people to have ever graced this
“Lavender Haze”
Misty is made of everything soothing the savage beast. Lavender. Petals everywhere. Blossoms of hope sprang from every corner of the world when she’s near.
The sunset seems to split into a down the drain spiral of longing. Of falling. Forever. I seek no
To my children,
Kids, you will inevitably text me one day to tell me you discovered a show called
@FriendsTV
.
There was an amazing actor on that show named
@MatthewPerry
. He played the character “Chandler Bing”.
He was one of the funniest people to have ever graced this
I didn’t meet Misty on
@Tinder
. Or
@PlentyOfFish
.
She magically appeared from the pre-cooked talk-show oven of
@DestinyTheGame
. Of
@Karma_Rx
.
She walked on water all the way through the
@Portalcoin
from another world.
Soaking wet from it, she was still probably not even a
@ADL
@robreiner
I’m a Jewish artist and screenwriter who’s gladly taken it on the chin in my follower count since shifting my art to supporting the
@IDF
in their fight for all of humanity.
I believe
@netanyahu
’s government and the
@IDF
fight for the future of an entire species.
@ADL
@robreiner
I’m a Jewish artist and screenwriter who’s gladly taken it on the chin in my follower count since shifting my art to supporting the
@IDF
in their fight for all of humanity.
I believe
@netanyahu
’s government and the
@IDF
fight for the future of an entire species.
@ADL
@robreiner
I’m a Jewish artist and screenwriter who’s gladly taken it on the chin in my follower count since shifting my art to supporting the
@IDF
in their fight for all of humanity.
I believe
@netanyahu
’s government and the
@IDF
fight for the future of an entire species.
@4rtofficial
This is my favorite one i made with my patented, 6 1/2 page single spaced relationship at that time. It all came out looking quite “psychedelic”.
Like I said, this was my favorite one though.
So much so, I never showed it to anyone else.
Until now.
#NowPlaying
"Secrets of
@elantracey
She’s way to stylish to wear gold and red to anything but a
@49ers
game
@LevisStadium
. She’d make it her own. To compliment the color of her indescribable hazel-green windows to infinity and beyond. She’s so fast. She’s outrunning me! Superman! I’ve got to be smart about it. Use
The people who laugh at the idea of the
@IDF
fighting for the future of all of humanity would have applauded Neville Chamberlain.
They would have arrested
@V
right in front of
@NateliePortman
’s face.
They would have been
@joeypants
in
@TheMatrixMovie
.
They wouldn’t have been
@AmIRelavent
Alfred and Bruce seem to be of two minds about the issue as well.
However, that's what makes real art and not mere entertainment. Art disturbs the status quo of your being. That's what makes it art and not mere entertainment.
If
@DCOfficial
has any sense,
@JamesGunn
, they'll
@Fdmdarkshadow
Formulaic, shallow, and pedantic.
Everything
@ZackSnyderFilm
has ever written is write-by-numbers swill.
@JamesGunn
could film himself shitting in a porta-potty with the
@Superman
symbol painted on it for 2 hours and it would be better.
At least that would be original.
@elantracey
She’s my villain. The clown princess of time. She’s going to drag it out. She wants me to chase every villain in Gotham until I’m ran ragged. Then she’ll strike. She’s a menace to my sincerity. Ointment in my flight. I can only melt. I can only fall into the dozen Lego pieces
To my children,
Kids, you will inevitably text me one day to tell me you discovered a show called
@FriendsTV
.
There was an amazing actor on that show named
@MatthewPerry
. He played the character “Chandler Bing”.
He was one of the funniest people to have ever graced this
"I'm not a prize."
"..."
"I'm not here because you deserve me."
"I don't..."
"You don't understand...?"
"..."
"What does your..."
"..."
"What DID your mom say about me?"
"..."
"WHAT?"
"..."
"You're sick, you know that?"
"..."
"LOOK AT ME!!!!!!"
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman erasing a white board*
"OK..."
*sound of a young woman's leg shaking from boredom in her seat*
"..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman erasing a white board*
"Before we open unit 3, I'd like to refer back briefly to lesson 2.3.9 for some contextual
She begged me not to give up on her. In front of the fishtanks. October 30th. Since then. I’ve seen her for 5 minutes on her porch.
I don’t know what to think or what to do.
She ditched me on Halloween after we had plans for weeks.
She’s Misty. To be certain.
What am I
You’re the strangest sort of Catwoman, you know. Whether played by Julie Newmar, Halle Barry, or all the voices & bodies in between, most versions of Catwoman are decidedly interested in jewels. You’re decidedly not. You’re decidedly not interested in anything, but you stole my❤️
"What are you doing here? I told you I can't..."
"Sound of a young woman slinking across an empty class room floor long after the final bell has rung*
"Kate..."
*sound of a young woman tapping on her iPhone screen*
"...you need to go home."
*sound of a young woman showing
"You've got to be kidding me..."
"..."
"..."
"Dick..."
"They're only..."
"We're here to do a job..."
"..."
"..."
"They're..."
"You know war, Mr. President."
"..."
"Casualties of war."
"..."
"I know they're quite young..."
"No."
"..."
"I won't do it."
@elantracey
She was the darkest night. The signal had been in the sky for 10 days straight. She’s ignoring it. She doesn’t want to respond. She’s trying to protect Robin. She’s trying to protect me. She thinks she’ll get me killed. She thinks she’s being irresponsible to let someone like me
Misty is an entire vineyard of my wildest dreams. Iconic beauty. Iconic aloofness. Iconic, effortless cool.
My girl. Is so cool. She’s a total bad ass.
Oh yeah.
She’s a force of nature. She really is. She doesn’t know it until that moment she does. If she knew it all the
Misty.
She has a heart of heaven.
Screw gold. I won’t flatter it in that way. It’s absurd. What’s inside of Misty. What I fell in love with. It’s much more valuable. Much more rare. Than any precious metal.
It’s redeemed something in me.
Hope.
I had relegated really being
She’s like Medusa. d
... yd
Turned my wandering attention into stone. d
... yd
Irresistible. d
... yd
Ruined me... d
Why? yd
Why? d
... yd
Because now she is what a woman is supposed to be! d
... yd
Delicate in my arms. d
... yd
A fist full of her bicep. d
... yd
*sound of a man dragging another man toward the treeline by his hoodie*
"..." ?
*sound of a 64 year old man yelling toward his 34 year old junkie ex-wife*
"CALL THE COPS!" d
*sound of a 34 year old woman looking down at the pizzo meth pipe in her hand and then back up at the
“Lavender Haze”
Misty is made of everything soothing the savage beast. Lavender. Petals everywhere. Blossoms of hope sprang from every corner of the world when she’s near.
The sunset seems to split into a down the drain spiral of longing. Of falling. Forever. I seek no
Misty is an entire vineyard of my wildest dreams. Iconic beauty. Iconic aloofness. Iconic, effortless cool.
My girl. Is so cool. She’s a total bad ass.
Oh yeah.
She’s a force of nature. She really is. She doesn’t know it until that moment she does. If she knew it all the
*sound of a door slamming open*
"..."
*sound of a former President from another world doing dishes without gloves; clankety clink clunk clank*
"..."
*sound of a 52 year old science teacher from a dead world absolutely irate*
"WHERE IS SHE?!?!?!?!"
*sound of a former
*sound of a young woman biting her lip*
"What are you waiting for?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"If you're going to call the cops..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of the manager of an upscale Manhattan restaurant sighing in genuine professional frustration*
"Mindy..."
*sound of a young
@NBA
@Lakers
Love it!
This is my latest, hope you dig it. If you do please drop a like on the OP and a follow!
I have a lot more where that came from!
Sincerely,
Nancy
*sound of a 64 year old man sighing as he's talking to a woman on the phone*
"I swear I thought.." d
*sound of a 34 year old woman taking a drag of her cigarette on the other end of the line*
"..." k
"..." d
"..." k
"...I only even suspected after you..." d
*sound of a 34
*sound of a 48 year old science teacher looking at pictures of his lover with another man*
"But Kate..." d
*sound of a young woman crying hysterically*
"..." k
*sound of a 48 year old science teacher looking at pictures of his lover with another man*
"...I thought..." d
*sound of a 30 year old woman popping her gum*
"...and it's all I can really..."
"..."
*sound of a middle aged female therapist writing in her notebook*
"And you've never..."
"..."
"..."
"What?"
"..."
"..."
*sound of a middle aged female therapist writing in her
*sound of a 30 year old woman taking a drag off her cigarette*
"...and one of the biggest things is to keep evolving..."
"..."
"...like...I have to be..."
"..."
"...like my dialogue..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 60 year old man clearing his throat*
"..."
*sound of a 30
*sound of a young woman biting her lip*
"What are you waiting for?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"If you're going to call the cops..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of the manager of an upscale Manhattan restaurant sighing in genuine professional frustration*
"Mindy..."
*sound of a young
"This is it."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Once I press we engage, it'll only be about 10 seconds."
"And we could..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a car door opening*
"Sure..."
*sound of another car door opening*
"I'm smoking one last cigarette."
"Babe..."
*sound of a man and young
*sound of a 30 year old woman erasing a white board*
"OK..."
*sound of a young woman's leg shaking from boredom in her seat*
"..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman erasing a white board*
"Before we open unit 3, I'd like to refer back briefly to lesson 2.3.9 for some contextual
*sound of a young woman turning the pages of a comic book*
“The resiliency of youth.”
“…”
“…”
“Dick…”
*sound of a 30 year old woman motioning a former president to come talk to her outside the cabin in private*
“Excuse us…”
*sound of a former President walking towards
@coffeeandbook9
I’m an author and screenwriter in addition to a painter.
My
@X
is the greasiest coffee table book ever, and you’ll find my vignettes leave nothing to be desired,
My screenplays for
@TheInferiorFive
are the greatest Superhero films yet put in front of a camera.
No hurry or
"Like...?"
"..."
"Are you getting in or what, mister?"
"Try to stop me."
"I want you."
"..."
"..."
"So quiet in this bathroom."
"..."
"I wonder if there's sound proofing or..."
"..."
"..."
"I missed you."
"I was only at..."
"I still missed you."
"..."
"..."
"No.
"I'm not a prize."
"..."
"I'm not here because you deserve me."
"I don't..."
"You don't understand...?"
"..."
"What does your..."
"..."
"What DID your mom say about me?"
"..."
"WHAT?"
"..."
"You're sick, you know that?"
"..."
"LOOK AT ME!!!!!!"
"..."
"..."
@HellaOverIt
@AmIRelavent
@DCOfficial
@JamesGunn
Have at it, if you think it's so easy.
You know why I'm a halfway decent painter?
Because I'm a halfway decent writer. This? It's nearly 20 pages long. Single spaced, complete sentences, proper paragraph structure, and a coherent narrative.
Then it takes hours in
@Lightroom
"When we finally found him..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman pressing pause with her mouse cursor, then the sound of a 30 year old woman eating
@HaagenDazs_US
straight out of the pint*
"...there was..."
*the sound of a 30 year old woman leaning forward in her gaming chair
"It's going to be ok..."
*sound of a young woman whimpering*
"..."
"..."
*sound of a young woman whimpering*
"WHERE IS HE?!?!?!?"
"We um..."
"..."
*sound of a young woman whimpering*
"WHAT?"
"..."
"..."
"We're going to have to jump again."
*sound of a young woman
*sound of a 60 year old man answering his cell phone*
"Well..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman taking a drag off her cigarette*
"..."
"...hello, you."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman taking a drag off her cigarette*
"I just can't believe you're such a jerk."
"When we finally found him..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman pressing pause with her mouse cursor, then the sound of a 30 year old woman eating
@HaagenDazs_US
straight out of the pint*
"...there was..."
*the sound of a 30 year old woman leaning forward in her gaming chair
"I can still see her that day..."
"..."
"After the New York trip..."
"..."
"That Monday..."
"..."
*sound of a 47 year old man sighing in embarrassment*
"...it was the first time she wore the heart-shaped glasses."
"..."
"Then almost every day..."
"..."
*sound of a 47
"...and she's just..."
"..."
*sound of a 47 year old science teacher sighing*
"...sitting in it..."
"..."
*sound of a 47 year old man fidgeting and slightly rocking nervously while laying on a nice leather couch; pmph, pmph, pmph, pmph*
"...all done up like she usually
*sound of a young woman taking a drag of her cigarette while she reads her comic book*
"..."
*sound of a 30 year woman sighing in frustration*
"Gentlemen..."
*sound of a former President from another world stretching his aching back as he leans in toward the woman*
"..."
"Like...?"
"..."
"Are you getting in or what, mister?"
"Try to stop me."
"I want you."
"..."
"..."
"So quiet in this bathroom."
"..."
"I wonder if there's sound proofing or..."
"..."
"..."
"I missed you."
"I was only at..."
"I still missed you."
"..."
"..."
"No.
"I'm worried about him."
"..."
"..."
"You think he knows?"
"..."
"..."
"I don't think so."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 35 year old woman and a 22 year old woman kissing*
"..."
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"He's gone?"
*sound of a 35 year old woman and a 22 year old
*sound of a door slamming open*
"..."
*sound of a former President from another world doing dishes without gloves; clankety clink clunk clank*
"..."
*sound of a 52 year old science teacher from a dead world absolutely irate*
"WHERE IS SHE?!?!?!?!"
*sound of a former
"It's going to be ok..."
*sound of a young woman whimpering*
"..."
"..."
*sound of a young woman whimpering*
"WHERE IS HE?!?!?!?"
"We um..."
"..."
*sound of a young woman whimpering*
"WHAT?"
"..."
"..."
"We're going to have to jump again."
*sound of a young woman
*sound of a 30 year old woman popping her gum*
"...and it's all I can really..."
"..."
*sound of a middle aged female therapist writing in her notebook*
"And you've never..."
"..."
"..."
"What?"
"..."
"..."
*sound of a middle aged female therapist writing in her
"...and she's just..."
"..."
*sound of a 47 year old science teacher sighing*
"...sitting in it..."
"..."
*sound of a 47 year old man fidgeting and slightly rocking nervously while laying on a nice leather couch; pmph, pmph, pmph, pmph*
"...all done up like she usually
*sound of an oldman scientist coughing*
"So many."
*sound of a young woman standing by the window smoking*
"..."
*sound of an old man scientist coughing*
"There isn't a big enough number."
*sound of a young woman taking a drag off a cigarette*
"That's..."
"..."
It may seem like a
@Stranger_Things
sort of thing for a grown man to listen to
@taylorswift13
, but I do. All the time. She’s my favorite artist now. I listen to her much more than anything else.
Quite incessantly, actually.
I’m in love, after all. The real thing. Her name is
*sound of a young man and a middle aged man walking down seemingly never ending train tracks in the mountains of the Cuesta Grade just north of San Luis Obispo*
"She was still beautiful at 34." d
*sound of a young man unwrapping a PB Maxx candy bar*
"..." yd
"You got a
*sound of a man forcing himself to chuckle, clearly anguished*
"I'm a science teacher..." d
"..." k
"..." d
*sound of a woman folding a letter she has just read back up*
"..." k
"...not an English teacher." d
"..." k
*sound of a man forcing himself to chuckle, clearly
*sound of a 30 year old woman taking a drag off her cigarette*
"...and one of the biggest things is to keep evolving..."
"..."
"...like...I have to be..."
"..."
"...like my dialogue..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 60 year old man clearing his throat*
"..."
*sound of a 30
*sound of a 22 year old woman flicking a lighter and lighting her cigarette; flishkity, sheshka, splish, chiss*
"Never felt so alive..."
*sound of a 35 year old woman taking a sip of champagne*
"..."
*sound of a 22 year old woman taking a drag of her cigarette*
"...that
@HelloUncut
@g_prompter
I’m a writer. I’m also a painter. I paint with my
@Apple
pencil on my iPad Pro. I then run the result through Ai with no filter and a 4 1/4 base prompt of complete sentences, proper paragraph structure, and a coherent narrative. I talk to it like it’s a real person, like it’s a
*sound of a 30 year old woman from the year 3,002 cleaning her gun*
"You have got to stop..."
*sound of a young woman painting*
"..."
"..."
"What do you have against painting?"
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman from the future cleaning her gun*
"You know that's
"Amber, it's just..."
*sound of an unmanifest being straining*
...
"...never going to work."
"..."
*sound of an unmanifest being sounding quite smug*
"Never does."
"..."
"..."
*sound of an unmanifest being grasping at straws*
"I did though, I..."
"..."
*sound of an
@JustinRColon
@marchsoloway
@marchsoloway
@JustinRColon
Here's my home made pitch for "Gaps":
Layers.
Layers like peeling back the skin of an onion, revealing the raw, emotional core beneath. The fragmented dialogue.
The sounds.
They're like whispers in the dark, echoes of a troubled soul.
And the
"The next day."
"..."
"...she..."
"..."
"...transferred into my class."
"..."
"That was..."
"..."
"...the only time."
"..."
"..."
"And what was it about it..."
"..."
"...that made you feel...
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...awkward, as you say?"
"..."
"..."
"Well..."
*sound of a young woman taking a drag of her cigarette while she reads her comic book*
"..."
*sound of a 30 year woman sighing in frustration*
"Gentlemen..."
*sound of a former President from another world stretching his aching back as he leans in toward the woman*
"..."
*sound of rain hitting a tin roof*
"..."
*sound of a 35 year old woman beginning to grow impatient*
"..."
*sound of a 22 year old woman squeezing her lovers hand*
"He'll be here."
*sound of a 35 year old woman sighing*
"Your connection always this late?''
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 60 year old man answering his cell phone*
"Well..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman taking a drag off her cigarette*
"..."
"...hello, you."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 30 year old woman taking a drag off her cigarette*
"I just can't believe you're such a jerk."
"This is it."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Once I press we engage, it'll only be about 10 seconds."
"And we could..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a car door opening*
"Sure..."
*sound of another car door opening*
"I'm smoking one last cigarette."
"Babe..."
*sound of a man and young
"The next day."
"..."
"...she..."
"..."
"...transferred into my class."
"..."
"That was..."
"..."
"...the only time."
"..."
"..."
"And what was it about it..."
"..."
"...that made you feel...
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...awkward, as you say?"
"..."
"..."
"Well..."
I didn’t meet Misty on
@Tinder
. Or
@PlentyOfFish
.
She magically appeared from the pre-cooked talk-show oven of
@DestinyTheGame
. Of
@Karma_Rx
.
She walked on water all the way through the
@Portalcoin
from another world.
Soaking wet from it, she was still probably not even a
In a world full of statues. Misty is alive. Even the memory of her when she’s gone. She’s so full of life. Even the idea of her.
So much more alive than the walking wisdom of regret and denial this world seems to be full of.
The smiling zombies anticipating their next
I have to be strong.
I can't...
I mean. I've already done it...
A lot.
Does it really matter if...
I'm just a horrible person. I should probably just...
She's just...
No way out. I couldn't if I wanted to...
Don't really. Obviously.
"You're a real sick son of a bitch."
"Tell Suzette to get down here..."
"No hello?"
*sound of a woman throwing a plastic salt shaker at a man*
"..."
"You CAN'T be a decent human being for even one fucking minute when you get home can you?"
"..."
"I'm SO tired of you."
"SUZETTE!!!"
"Asshole."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 47 year old science teacher having buckshot picked out of his rear end by his 30 year old friend and dropped into a tin can; kerplank, kerplank*
"Looks like she's feeling better..."
"..."
"..."
"I hate that I wasn't here..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 47 year old
*sound of a young woman popping her gum*
“Whatcha doin?”
“…”
“…”
“Just uh…”
*sound of a young woman slinking up behind a man sitting at a desk in a typical shitty rolling office chair*
“…”
“…”
*sound of a young woman massaging the man’s shoulders*
“…grading exams.”
*sound of a young woman taking a bite out of her
@RedVines
*
"That's them, isn't it?"
*sound of a former President from another world sighing as he stares intently at an old weathered black and white photograph*
"..."
"..."
*sound of a former President from another world
*sound of rain hitting a tin roof*
"..."
*sound of a 35 year old woman beginning to grow impatient*
"..."
*sound of a 22 year old woman squeezing her lovers hand*
"He'll be here."
*sound of a 35 year old woman sighing*
"Your connection always this late?''
"..."
"..."
@marchsoloway
@SCBWI_SoCal
Here's my home made pitch for "Gaps":
Layers.
Layers like somehow making it through a
@Dell
automated system to get to an actual human being automated, revealing the raw, emotional core beneath. (If only)
The fragmented dialogue.
The sounds.
They're like whispers
*sound of an oldman scientist coughing*
"So many."
*sound of a young woman standing by the window smoking*
"..."
*sound of an old man scientist coughing*
"There isn't a big enough number."
*sound of a young woman taking a drag off a cigarette*
"That's..."
"..."
Misty doesn’t like chocolate. She’s a sour candy girl. Which makes perfect sense. Just like her picking a black angel costume for Halloween did.
She’s irreplaceable. There’s no way to satisfy my craving for her. Except for her. She’s quite unique. However, she’s not strange to
“Lavender Haze”
Misty is made of everything soothing the savage beast. Lavender. Petals everywhere. Blossoms of hope sprang from every corner of the world when she’s near.
The sunset seems to split into a down the drain spiral of longing. Of falling. Forever. I seek no
@lame_times
@OwlOfOpposites
@EmiliasPod
@Elle_Artist__
You got me thinking about street art.
I would also like to create real art installations on the street level that could show my work.
I made this to show what it would look like.
“The Adventure Gate”
The sign on the door reads
“Warning: Watch your step as you enter, and do
@EPM106
@SkyRaiderG7
At the heighth of the cold war, when extinction as a species seemed such a probability that cartoon turtles routinely taught little kids to "Duck & Cover", Star Trek presented a vision of the future where humanity's going to be just fine.
The old cliche "if you can dream it you
*sound of a 30 year old woman eating a salad*
"She's even more beautiful here..." m
*sound of a 47 year old science teacher eating a hot dog*
"..." d
*sound of a older than middle aged former President BBQ'ing hotdogs and hambugers*
"Told you..." n
*sound of a young woman
*sound of a young woman lighting a cigarette*
"..." k
*sound of a middle aged Science teacher sighing*
"Can you..." d
*sound of a young woman taking a drag off her cigarette*
"..." k
"...a least go over by the window." d
"..." k
"..." d
*sound of a young woman taking a
@elantracey
I’m a starving artist come check out my work. I’m Elvis. I’m autistic. My psychiatric team says I’m the “Rain Man” of words. I need a Colonel Tom Parker. Someone who will make the Etsy store, the kickstarter for my 4 completed screenplays including
@TheInferiorFive
. I’m waiting
*sound of a 22 year old woman flicking a lighter and lighting her cigarette; flishkity, sheshka, splish, chiss*
"Never felt so alive..."
*sound of a 35 year old woman taking a sip of champagne*
"..."
*sound of a 22 year old woman taking a drag of her cigarette*
"...that
"I'm worried about him."
"..."
"..."
"You think he knows?"
"..."
"..."
"I don't think so."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a 35 year old woman and a 22 year old woman kissing*
"..."
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"He's gone?"
*sound of a 35 year old woman and a 22 year old
Darkness come to life.
The whole…
…
…
Rob.
…
Her Dad.
…
My mom.
…
…
Alisha.
…
…
Maggie.
…
All the other…
…
…
Why would we…
…
Why?
…
…
It’s all over her face…
…
…
…
…or is it mine that I’m feeling too taut?
…
…
…
WHAT YOU
*sound of a young woman taking a bite out of her
@RedVines
*
"That's them, isn't it?"
*sound of a former President from another world sighing as he stares intently at an old weathered black and white photograph*
"..."
"..."
*sound of a former President from another world
*sound of a 34 year old woman on the other end of the line*
“I’ve made a decision.” mi
*sound of a 48 year old man yawning as he's just waking up*
“…” d
*sound of 34 year old woman outside with her 3 year old daughter playing in the background*
“You’re gonna be happy about
She’s like Medusa. d
... yd
Turned my wandering attention into stone. d
... yd
Irresistible. d
... yd
Ruined me... d
Why? yd
Why? d
... yd
Because now she is what a woman is supposed to be! d
... yd
Delicate in my arms. d
... yd
A fist full of her bicep. d
... yd
*sound of a 47 year old science teacher giving an exaggeratedly grand tour of his and his wife's bedroom while his wife is out of town for the fourth of July*
"This is it..."
"..."
"..."
*sound of a young woman slowly walking around a small master bedroom, studying everything
"Sorry I'm not sixteen!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I can't believe you..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"YOU ARE SO FUCKED!!!!"
"..."
"..."
"Like you're anyone to talk about the way someone looks, Doug, you're the last..."
"..."
"..."
"AND..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I'm
“She was like a mint julep in a size 4 that day.” d
“…” yd
“Green denim jacket.” d
“…” yd
“Butterfly pin on her left lapel.” d
“…” yd
“Or where a lapel would be, at any rate. d
“…” yd
“Or a lapel pin.” d
“…” yd
“I digress.” d
“…” yd
“It was aspirational, the
"There." r
*sound of a man pointing off into the distance and spitting; ker-plooey*
"..." m
"..." r
"Rob..." m
"..." r
"..sir..." m
"..." r
"...do you..." m
"..." r
"...do you really think that's better than smoking?" m
"..." r
"..." m
*sound of a man blowing a snot
To my children,
Kids, you will inevitably text me one day to tell me you discovered a show called
@FriendsTV
.
There was an amazing actor on that show named
@MatthewPerry
. He played the character “Chandler Bing”.
He was one of the funniest people to have ever graced this
Misty.
She has a heart of heaven.
Screw gold. I won’t flatter it in that way. It’s absurd. What’s inside of Misty. What I fell in love with. It’s much more valuable. Much more rare. Than any precious metal.
It’s redeemed something in me.
Hope.
I had relegated really being
It was a cruel summer until Misty’s love opened the door on August 28th. She made short work of all that came before her. Like
@taylorswift13
did to all that came before her.
I’ve been in the lab with a pen and a pad all day and all night the last few days. Besides a really cool