I ended stream early because I had a feeling.
The moment I stepped out of my room, Mako scrambled to his feet towards me. He'd been waiting.
Then he lay down.
We cried together.
Then he was gone.
I love you, Mako.
Seeing so many posts about how SV/PLA shiny hunters aren't REAL shiny hunters. ๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธ
You do NOT encourage people by gatekeeping. ๐คก
If I had the money to ship my DS to have a capture card installed I would.
Best odds are the odds that bring you joy and comfort. ๐
River was the most affected. It was so difficult to pull him away so I could wrap Mako up properly. They loved to cuddle like this every day. River loved him more than anything in the world.
Just got the message about my grandfather JUST as I ended stream tonight. I don't know how active I'll be in the coming days.
I'm happy I got to spend so much time with him this week. I'm happy he got to tell me he loved me and my sister for the first time yesterday. ๐
๐ด LIVE AGAIN ONCE AGAIN ๐ด
BOYFRIEND STREAM! BOYFRIEND STREAM! ๐ My partner and I are live for a short stream where he plays through SwSh for the first time. ๐ซฃโจ
I miiiight have overreacted and gone to the airport 2 hours early to pick up my boyfriend. I'm just sooo freakin excited to see him after over a year of not seeing him. ๐ ๐
Hi everyone. I'm really sorry I have to cancel stream today. ๐ญ For the first time in 13 months of streaming, I've lost my voice. ๐ค I think I should be good tomorrow tho.
Someone once raided me and apologized for it being a small raid. I told them: Your community is a HUGE part of your world, and I honor that.
It takes trust (sometimes faith) to bring your community over, so I'm always thankful when people feel comfortable enough to do so.
what is with people mocking small raids like i stopped streaming for a while bc of mental health so im having to start over again i am well aware my viewer count is low why are we mocking people and more importantly why are the mods doing it
Mental health took a major slip back with body dysmorphia and depression. Back again after 8 months! Gotta get back there but didn't lose as much muscle as I thought I did. ๐
Hello everyone. I unfortunately have to cancel stream again tonight.
I just got home from the vet. Mako is very unwell. He has always had kidney issues, and with his age, he has deteroriated a lot.
He has been distant and quiet lately. It may be time.
Ate, slept, breathed content creation for 7 months for the push. ๐คฏ 10-12 hour streams daily drained me mentally, emotionally, and physically. ๐
It was well worth it, but I'm glad I finally get to take care of myself again. Here's to Day 1! ๐
I can't believe this clip of me and Mako on stream was on file. I'm glad I'll always have this.
I've never felt so many things on stream before. Thank you for shiny hunting with me. Thank you for crying with me. Thank you for loving my baby boy with me. ๐
Second time doesn't sting as much.
No "You're on the right track" or "We want to observe your growth" or "You unlocked the app too early."
Same copy-paste message. The wording makes it seem as if they REALLY don't want me. ๐คฃ
We try again next year. ๐
Was feeling so low tonight because of the vague rejection...
But whether they eventually say yes after the 33rd try or they never do, I'm glad I hit the go-live 10 months ago. ๐
#TwitchRecap
Sorry if I've not replied to anyone. Still heartbroken and disappointed. Being non-verbal helps with processing. They may have said no, but I always say yes to consistency, so I'm going to power through no matter what.
Very emotional first stream back. Thank you to everyone who stopped by and said such kind words. Roberto sent this to me while I was live.
I still believe in streaming
#PokemonUNITE
as a
#Philippine
streamer on
@Twitch
๐๐ต๐ญ
It honestly only feels lonely when I focus on what
I have to cancel stream today. ๐ข Some know that I fell down the stairs because of the cats (all is forgiven lol ๐ฑ). Recovering well but sitting has been painful so I'm getting some extra rest today. Doing an extra stream this weekend instead. ๐๐ป See you tomorrow! ๐
I got hooked on
#Frieren
and I cannot stop singing the OP wherever I go. ๐ Might upload the full cover on YT once I obtain the grimoire of how to be bothered to edit videos. ๐ด
I just got Mako's ashes today.
I was looking for more photos of him alone, but he was ALWAYS with River. ๐ฅบ They were inseperable and loved each other very much.
I'm glad I helped them find each other and spend a life together. ๐
Generational trauma is so real. I grew up walking on eggshells around my grandfather. He was prone to yelling and so was my mom.
Hearing these stories about how he grew up helps me understand him better.
Don't know if I'll ever have kids. Either way, it ends with me.
Still on vacation mode till May 5, Sunday ๐ Spending as much time as I can with my partner because I don't know when I'll see him again. ๐ฅ
We're doing another couple stream this Friday ๐ Replying to everyone on Monday May 6th after my mom's surgery ๐๐ป
River just sat himself down next to my bowl of noodles and pretended to sleep. Next second, he does a big stretch and tries to put his paw in with his eyes closed. ๐คฃ๐ฑ
We have had this issue since he was a kitten. That's how I knew he was really MY cat when I was fostering him.
Been keeping it under wraps for a couple days, but super stoked to be part of the Pokรฉmon Philippines admin team as a content creator! ๐๐๐๐ป
I still can't believe we made it into the 1K Club. ๐ข๐๐ Thank you so much everyone!
Thank you for trusting me with your community
@XGolightlyX
!
We sent the party over to
@WizzlerPlays
to cheer him on, on his Dark-type only hardcore Nuzlocke! ๐
Unite was peepee-poopoo today. So many backseaters.
If I want feedback, I'll ask for feedback. If it looks like I'm struggling, please wait till I ask for help. If you REALLY want to provide "constructive criticism," please ask first.
I know that at its root, backseating may
I don't say it enough but streaming on
@Twitch
has been such a blessing to me. ๐ I don't think I'd be able to make time with family during these tough moments if I'd never hit the go-live button. Thank you to everyone I've ever met through streams. ๐๐ป
JuddiGone away for the weekend. ๐
I rarely show it on stream but my confidence is so low right now. Just feels like I've hit a wall.
Resetting my brain for the month ahead.
I'll be back in time for Halloween. ๐
Good thing we did an impromptu 8hr stream and made "one more sandwich." ๐คฃ
Raid gratitude to follow (I don't know how, but OBS and Twitch won't let me scroll up further ๐ฅฒ). ๐
We sent the cheer and positivity to
@JesseRachaelFL
! (1/2)
Fun fact about me: My mom went crazy when I came out, outed me to my grandparents and family. Grandfather was the only one who kept calm. ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ It seems cold and logical but I appreciate what he said: "He's your son, you have to accept him."
Deleted. Will probs post again on another day when I regain my self-confidence.
When someone posts a progress pic, please don't tag and compare them to another person. ๐
I was just proud of my progress, now I just feel like I'm a pile of mush. ๐ถ
Mom sent me this picture of me when I was a kid. My grandfather kept it separate for some reason. ๐
Rumor has it, this is still how I sleep as I lurk in everyone's chats. ๐คญ
Stream cancelled today. Long story short: River escaped. Spent all evening hunting him down. Found him. We're good now. Extra stream this weekend instead. ๐๐
Nearly 11 hours of helping the community get their Mewtwo! ๐
WE ALSO MADE IT TO 3K! HOW!? ๐
Thank you so much to everyone! It's been such a blast. ๐ญ๐๐ป
I had such a BLAST with
@EeveeElora
on our first collab together. ๐ We both got 2 Shiny Chespies EACH in under 300 eggs, but agreed she won as one of hers was female. ๐
Thank you for the raids
@MariVariPkm
and
@tomoparker
! ๐
We sent the double raid to
@Nomeyy
! ๐ช
My grandfather still has his sense of humor tonight at least. ๐ It's not in the best of circumstances, but it makes me happy even just a little to see this side of him again. ๐
Hi friends. I know I had a lot planned for stream with Easter and International Trans Day of Visibility. But I need to be with family tonight. Got emotional because I learned my grandfather always asks for me around the time I start my streams. I just want to be there in person.
๐ด LIVE AGAIN ONCE AGAIN ๐ด
Final boyfriend stream before Amore has to leave. ๐ฅฒ Probably getting to the first gym, and then we play some Unite but boyfriend gets to choose my Pokemon. โจ
One of the many reasons I am so glad I started streaming. I get to share River moments with everyone. He is such a bright light in my life, and I love him so much -- even if he often likes to take over the stream. ๐๐ฑ
I'm feeling so much better about streaming lately. ๐ฅฐ Numbers have been wonky, but ehhh, I'm just having a good time at this point. ๐
I'm so grateful I met the people I have met, and I can't wait to give myself the freedom to do more next month! โจ
I think I'm making progress with cleaning my childhood house. ๐ฅต
Dust and heat are killing me tho. ๐ฉ
I've been looking at the photo albums my late grandparents left. I want to get the house looking like it used to before it gets sold off. ๐ฅบ
My heart is full. I actually got to hug so many of the people who hang out at my stream today. ๐ฅบ๐ I'm glad I eventually got myself out of bed today.
Also. Pinisen. ๐ฌ
๐ด LIVE AGAIN ONCE AGAIN ๐ด
Farewell, my good friend. You gave me and your cat siblings an amazing 3 years. ๐
Any tips today will be donated fully to Red Cubs Pet Patrol, the group who found and entrusted Mako to me, so please consider dropping by.
โฌ๏ธโฌ๏ธโฌ๏ธ
I am OVERJOYED by how AMAZING the new logo came out! ๐ Thank you
@gabmadrid
for taking on this project. ๐๐ผ
The Egglocke is somehow still ALIVE after having taken down Milo and Nessa today! ๐คฏ Thank you to everyone who played with us during
#PokemonUNITE
and hung out after.
Left was just after the
@Twitch
Partner Push, around early March. ๐ Never realized how much weight I'd lost throughout that process. Glad to be back! ๐ช๐ผ
Remember to look after yourselves, gamers! ๐๐ป
Turns out screaming in the middle of a park at five in the morning will attract security... ๐
I'm okay. Just mortified and want to hide in a hole for the rest of eternity. ๐
What a wonderful day despite the internet crash cutting stream short today. ๐
Ended up getting another full odds Regi and spending the evening (and morning) playing Unite with friends.
For the first time in years I'm happy to just exist. ๐ฅฐ My heart is full.
This Glaceon charm is my favorite thing now. โ It's attached to my gym key fob. It'll motivate me to go regularly because I love coming up to the door with it. ๐๐คฃ