I want to tell a story. When I was in like 3rd grade, I went with my mom while she dropped some drugs off (yes, she was). Anyways. She left me in the car. This guys comes out to “watch” me and it’s just me and him. He looks over and asks. “You don’t know what a haiku is, do you?”
Love you Dave. Thank you for teaching me how to change a tire, replace my brakes, watching every episode of the Simpson’s with me, saving my life literally countless times.. always said “you can have a good life in spite of your mom, or a bad 1 bc of her”. I chose the good life.
I woke up last night. At 1 am on the dot. I literally could not fall back asleep, so I laid there until 4. And then got up and went to lab. They tried reviving him from 1-4am. It’s like in some weird way my body felt that energy. I just didn’t know.
Anyways. On that day he vowed to make sure I always made it to school. My mother was in her own world, doing and dealing drugs. When I tell you this guy drove me and picked me up so he KNEW I went everyday.. he literally did my homework with me.
He took me to all the important things in my life. He became family. The closest thing to a father figure I’ve ever had honestly. He was my best friend. He saved my life. Tonight I got a call from his sister. He died unexpectedly from a (possible) heart attack @ around 1am.
Anyways. He’s gone. I’m probably gonna be a weirdo for a while. Sorry in advance. I just needed to get that out. There is so much more but I just know I would not be where I am without him.
I responded “yeah, it’s a traditional Japanese poem consisting of 3 lines and in the pattern of 5-7-5 syllables.” I remember I had just written one in class. He freaked out and told me I was the smartest person he has ever met. I was literally like 8.
Thank you to everyone for the kind words. I was not expecting anyone to even see this, but I am so so happy everyone knows how amazing he was. I will continue to fight and be a Dave in my life. And I pray that I can change someone’s life like he changed mine. ❤️
I worked my butt off during undergrad working 2 sometimes 3 jobs going to school FT (12+ units in STEM)... I still had to take out pell grants to make it through. If this happens, I’ll be student loan debt-free... pleasepleaseplease be true.
In keeping with my campaign promise, my Administration is announcing a plan to give working and middle class families breathing room as they prepare to resume federal student loan payments in January 2023.
I'll have more details this afternoon.
Not bad for a girl who grew up in foster care, didn’t graduate high school, failed a few classes, got waitlisted for grad school bc of said grades, had her younger brother and father figure die within 2 years, no publications, and horrid anxiety and depression....
Happy birthday Dave! Still feels incredibly weird that you’re gone and I can’t just call you.. I hope you and Hank man are up there screaming meatball/talking heads/Pink Floyd and watching Simpson’s episodes back to back. I love you.
#beadave
Hear a thumping as I’m cooking dinner the other night. Dogs are barking. I’m like wtf.. home alone. Look over and this hummingbird is tapping my window. Staring at me. For a solid minute? It’s pitch black outside. I got the tail end of it here on video. Is that you, Dave? 👀
Come back to lab after camping for 3 nights, this is on my desk 😂😂 I told my PI “I’ll take this as a hint” hahaha QE in T-MINUS 7 weeks... Review paper loading...
Little brothers 3rd bday in heaven yesterday. Why do I think I can just plan a full day of action to forget about everything? it doesn’t work. I just sat there staring at a wall all day. Still staring. Feeling guilty for being unproductive and not in lab but I’m very sad.
Why did I think getting my shit together DURING grad school was a good idea? GOD DAMN weekly therapy and feeling feelings and being diagnosed with shit you have to newly navigate and process and still having to continue to be a productive human is fckin hard.
I ATE TWO SEPARATE SANDWICHES WITH MOLDY BREAD TODAY. Omg. I did not notice anything. I just ate them no problem. Pat is making food and yells out “ooh I was gonna make a sandwich but this bread is moldy!” Thought I had period cramps btw but I’m prob poisoned omg nooooo
This year I am going to set intentions and boundaries in my relationship with science and the lab. I have often felt like I cannot say no because “I should just be happy I am here” but that is just the surviving mentality. I deserve time to take care of my health.
MY F31 was funded 😭😭😭😭😭 incredibly grateful and honored to be told by Dr. Hollander in person at my poster
@SOToxicology
in Nashville! Sorry to everyone around me who heard me squealing with excitement jumping up and down haha. All the long hours worth it. 🎉🎊
Jessie Badley learning that her F31 was FUNDED! NIEHS program officer Jonathan Hollander stopped by Jessie's SOT poster to tell her the news. Congrats! 🥳
#2023SOT
@PTXatUCD
@NIEHS
First Xmas eve hosted at our house... learning pat is one of those ppl who has “for show” towels and “for use” towels. The need to clean every crevice of every room “just in case” someone goes in there. Pray4me.
Today I had my first cry on lexapro and my PI hugged me lmao. I’m overwhelmed with pretty much everything but it’ll past. I’ve been through worse. I really do need a little break though soon. Is it bad I’m excited for surgery to have time to not think?
This is why we will never go back to normal. I’m actually mind blown.
@CDCgov
“still positive but cleared for work” I SCREAMED. cleared to work in an home for elderly folk. Wow. No no no no no
I’ve always wanted a fun and colorful room so now that I’m almost 35 I’ve decided to make it happen. DIY-ing my office/craft room. I like colors.....and tedious jobs.
What do you mean you don’t teach yourself new skills and obsess over them until you teach yourself a new skill and then...just keep....living that cycle...
And yet here at good ol UCD our parking fees are being increased 🙃 meanwhile rent, gas, and everything else are also increasing but... our money stays the same 😭 how can the cc’s offer this but uni can’t?!
Now that I am officially done with my required course work for my PhD I feel such a weight lifted. I have time to breathe again. I have worked out almost every day since classes ended. I have gone to therapy every Thursday, can sleep in (kinda) and have weekends (more or less) 😊
honestly really proud at the fact that it was discussed &scored. thankful to be reminded that I am not an imposter...now I wait and see, and, if I don’t get it. That’s ok. Revise and resubmit. “the worst they can say is no”. But I really hope I get it. 😭😭❤️
#f31diversity
Dr. Jacklyn Skye Kelty,
@LauraVW_UCD
, and coauthors evaluate xenobiotic metabolism maintenance within differentiated ALI airway epithelial cell cultures, isolated airway epithelial cells, and ex vivo microdissected airways:
@PTXatUCD
@UAZPharmacy
Why did this Andrew guy on
#loveisblind
just put eye drops in his eyes and then proceed to say “I’ve never cared about someone so much I’ve had tears in my eyes...”....fake crying......excuse me????? Sir you just put eye drops in??
After my QE my brain said “okiebieeeeee” and I literally slept for 2.5 days. I finally woke up yesterday but couldn’t really think still. So I just...made. “Odd symmetry”. Acrylic yarn. Need to give it some finishing touches...but *gestures lightly* iloveit.
Lmaoooooo this is me with basically everything. Fake it til you make it!!! Not about what you know but who you know. And always always always be nice to everyone, accept critic and strive to be better. The formula I’m telling you.
today I am doing my practice QE in front of my labmates and I. Am. Nervous!!!!!!! I think I am more nervous for today than the real thing. Any tips for public speaking? I am the LOUDEST PERSON who never shuts up but the second I have to speak for real I melt into a puddle. HALP
My mini lemon meringues got first place in the dessert content at the PTX BBQ.... it was so fun seeing everyone today....it was perfect weather, great people, good food... so happy to be a part of such a great grad group.
@blackinthelab
The pharmacology and toxicology graduate group at UC DAVIS
@PTXatUCD
. I am currently in the lab of Dr. Pam Lein. I am first gen and former foster youth. I have been incredibly supported by not just my PI but by every faculty I have come in contact with. 10/10
Just a lil
#humblebrag
but today was the first time I’ve presented as a speaker to a large (in person) audience (100+!!!). I had so much fun talking about my research in a non-scientific way, and all the “great talk!!” comments after made the nerves worth it.
Everyone go listen to the
@SOToxicology
podcast
#adversereactions
... DR. MILLER IS THE LAST GUEST ON SEASON 2! How freaking cool.
@PTXatUCD
I literally squealed when I started listening and realized who it was.
Do you ever dissociate and wish you looked a certain way then realize why don’t you just... look that way? Wear the clothes! Put the makeup on! Cut your hair, Jessie! Do whatever you want grl tf?! If it’s trash then we can just.. CHANGE AGAIN! E Z P Z
HUMBLE BRAG ALERT: today an ebook fellow
@NIEHS
T32 trainees and myself (and great PIs) wrote on wildfire toxicology was published on
@OpenAccessGov
! Very proud of our work on this. Please check it out ☺️
Two years. I remember every detail of the day. Thought I could just work myself to death this month so I wouldn’t remember or think, but I’ve spent my only day I’ve taken off crying in bed. I can’t forget this day. I miss you. I love you. I wish I could have fixed everything.
I might be biased but we really do have the best lab family. We have so much fun together and unbelievable love for each other. Today we celebrated Anthony’s birthday and Teresa’s last day as a postdoc. ❤️
@lein_lab_ucd
This is why I want to do what I do and be who I want to be. This. Right here. I just want everyone to feel this feeling. It’s yours. No one can take it.
I’m not going to work myself to the ground to impress people anymore. I don’t want to be a part of the club. I just want to be happy. I want a family. No more masking. No more.
Reminding myself to push through. I am... incredibly tired. My brain has turned to mush. The end of the quarter is here. My last graded course of my PhD is almost over. Thank. God. A week left. Then I will nap with no regrets.
Just got home from
#2022SOT
... just here to say that
#vaccineswork
!!!!!! Negative after a week of in-person interactions in a mask-less environment! Woooooo!!! So happy I got to network, learn, and bond with my lab.. but it’s time for a nap now.
Brrrrrroooooooo grad school has ruined me this was 2 years ago... 6 months in still bright eyed and bushy tailed. I can’t wait to feel like this again lmao god
This is why I’m trying to tell everyone and anyone about higher education. Took ONE PERSON to make it tangible for me. I didn’t know grad school was even an option, let alone funded programs.
As a first gen student the biggest challenge I've faced is "I don't know what I don't know". I wish there was some program for undergrads that tells STEM freshmen to join a lab early, publish papers, do summer research projects, etc.
I am having a really horrible flare up of dyshidrotic eczema on my hands and let me tell you... they are burning from the inside out and itchy so. Freaking. Bad....So inflamed that plasma is leaking through my skin... topical steroids save me pls
@ravenscimaven
New show: can you explain it to a fifth grader? Where you take the big wigs of their fields and put them in a room to be interviewed about their research/jobs by 5th graders.....
Watching drag race AS S6 when trinity does the tuck skit and why did my toxicologist brain immediately think “omg I wonder if any research has been done on the adhesive usage in the drag community” 🧐
The post doc who taught me everything I know abt cell culture when I joined the lab left for bigger and better things last week (🥲🥲) and I ended up moving into her desk and today I found this tucked into the cubicle barrier. Coincidence? Maybe. Needed? Yes.
Yesterday I got to present my very first poster at the
@UCDavisEHSC
retreat!!!! ✅ achievement unlocked. Always a good day with my PhD besties, too ❤️
#noinstakeegs
@KThongphanh
“The letters are extremely strong and show just how high the potential is for the applicant and, importantly, the letter writers desire to forever support the applicant’s success.” ....when I tell you I just cried the happy feel good “not alone” tears......
#F31
HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!!! I GOT A NIEHS T32 FELLOWSHIP 😭😭😭😭 and 2/3 of my phdbesties got the other two spots, so it’s even more of a reason to celebrate. WE DID THAT!
@NIEHS
@ucdavis
@PTXatUCD
brb doing a happy dance!!!!
It’s about time to replace my MacBook from 2017. I think I want to get something that runs windows.. mostly for writing and data analyzing. Any recommendations? How do people buy computers now a days? 😂😂😂😂 too many options
My
#PhDbesties
and I went out for a celebratory end-of-quarter/year din din last night. This group has kept me sane and supported the last year and a half through the madness of grad school. I❤️ you guys lots.
@KThongphanh
#noinstakeegs
and
#timskee
I deserve to be able to spend time with my loved ones and adventure, eat good food. Just enjoy life really. I have spent so much time working to just be in a better place and life is just passing me by. Losing my little brother and Dave within 2 years has been eye opening.
Something I am working very hard on in therapy. I often find myself in a PANIC thinking of plan a/b/c/d/e/etc. or what if’s. it’s exhausting. And alienating.
@maj2371
I was just thinking to myself “I wonder how one gets a post doc on industry” and then clicked Twitter and this was on my screen. So! If you don’t mind- how DOES one get a post doc in industry? Any advice on navigating that path?