Views my own. Interested in politics, philosophy, darts, and football. Tweets of a sub-par standard (He/Him)
@jgellmandehav
for more professional tweeting
Piers Morgan: I identify as penguin
15 year old white boys and 60 year old boomers: Don't agree with everything he says but fair play what a cracking wit 😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌
I suppose the funniest outcome to the Kate Middleton conspiracy is that she’s not been seen publicly because she’s been so busy trying to improve her amateur photo editing skills
Norway: Here is a Christmas tree to say thank you for defeating fascists and racists in World War 2
The UK: Thank you for this kind gift
Katie Hopkins: I hate Muslims
#LabourLive
-Selling Corbyn merchandise for £15 (Marx rolls in his grave)
-£5 pints
-Requiring ID for entry (but opposing the same for elections)
-Requiring under 18s to be accompanied by adults (but wanting them to vote)
-Set to make huge losses (yet wants to run an economy)
This has gone completely under the radar but this is absolutely disgusting from Badenoch
Nichols was arguing that Brianna Ghey’s parents should be allowed to have their daughter recognised as a girl on her death certificate, out of love and respect for her memory
Prince Phillip spent World War II fighting Nazis in the navy whilst his mum hid Greek Jews, stopping them from being deported to near certain death
That's the mother-son dynamic we should all aspire to emulate. May they both rest in peace
For a black person in Bristol to have walked past a statue of a slave trader every day would be like me, a Jew, having to walk past a statue of Heinrich Himmler every day
I'm glad it has been torn down
Let's hear less about how doubled jabbed individuals have caught mild Covid (which has always been possible and expected), and more about how the last time cases were this high there were over 1,000 daily deaths, now there are around 50
Vaccines work
How I first learnt about the concept of homosexuality at primary school: Children calling each other "gay" as an insult in the playground
How children should learn about the concept of homosexuality at primary school: In a classroom, whilst learning tolerance to all sexualities
Can Labour figures please stop calling each other "comrades". You aren't Bolshevik revolutionaries in the early 1900s. It's so painfully cringey and puts people off having anything to do with the party
Interviewer: Have you ever smoked weed?
Long-Bailey: Well I have been to Amsterdam 🙈🙈💁♀️💁♀️
*fast forward a month*
Interviewer: What should happen if a young person is found smoking weed in the UK?
Long-Bailey: Imprisonment.
The Conservative Party under Boris Johnson is greatly flawed and in need of heavy reform
But in this election they are the only realistic option in terms of both economics and Brexit
I have voted Conservative, I urge you to do the same
People who have paid for Labour Live are now asking for their money back as Labour begin to give out free tickets.
Hmm, it's almost as if an individual isn't a fan of paying for something so someone else can be given it for free 🤔🤔
Ah shit this kinda be blowing up. Don't have a sound cloud or anything. Just gonna let
@piersmorgan
know that if he sees this, I am more than happy to come on to GMTV or whatever daytime show he presents to discuss trans rights
Owen Jones: I'm a Labour activist
Owen Jones: I'm a Labour activist
Owen Jones: I'm a Labour activist
Owen Jones: I'm a Labour activist
Owen Jones: I'm a Labour activist
The BBC: Okay, I guess you're a Labour activist
Owen Jones: WTF?! This is absolutely disgusting!!!!!!
A map of every rocket fired by Hamas in the last day or so
If Israel didn't have the Iron Dome defence system, thousands of Israelis would be dead
Hamas has one intention, and that is to murder innocent civilians. Never forget that
Lefties: "Hahaha let's piss on Thatcher's grave haha"
*Karl Marx's grave gets desecrated*
Lefties: "DISGUSTING! What kind of scumbags would even THINK of desecrating a grave?!"
Jeremy, can the NHS please be allowed to buy cheaper medicine?
"No"
Jeremy, can the NHS please allow some private outsourcing to make services more efficient?
"No"
Jeremy, why are you so against any positive reform?
"It's our NHS"
Yes and apparently you want it to be shit
Jeremy Corbyn was the General Secretary of the Editorial Board of the London Labour Briefing magazine, when it published a letter after the 1984 Brighton Bombing saying "What do you call 4 dead tories? A start." I want as many people as possible to know this. Corbyn is so awful.
Would a Muslim celebrity be shamed for going to Mecca due to the domestic and foreign policy of the Saudi government? No, then shut the fuck up you antisemitic swines
Angela Merkel has said that her new treaty with France is a move towards an EU army.
Never forget how remainers accused us of being crazy fascists for suggesting this was the future of the EU ideology.
I'm convinced we live in a sitcom where the main characters are Jeremy Corbyn, Diane Abbott, and John McDonnell where, despite being "lifelong anti-racists", they always end up accidentally going to events hosted and attended by racists, Islamophobes, and antisemites
On Saturday I took part in an online meeting entitled “Uniting against racism and the new cold war”I had no idea that there were people on the call who denied Chinese harassment and massacres of Muslims in Uyghur. The treatment of these communities is a human rights violation.
Berger: Can you please stop being so antisemitic
Labour: No
Berger: Look, I'm going to have to leave, please just stop
Labour: No
Berger: Okay this is your last chance, please stop or I'll have to go, I really don't want to
Labour: No
*Berger leaves*
Labour: OMG TRAITOR!!
Tory Twitter has spent the last day complaining about how the LGBT+ Tories were kicked out of a Manchester gay bar for “no reason”
Today, a gay member of the GLA is dragged out of Conference for expressing concerns about the Home Secretary’s rampant transphobia
Political satirists will never be able to write a character funnier than a revolutionary who occupies a building then demands that the institution she is occupying the building from brings in her pre-paid meal plan
Remember when Theresa May tried to change the social care system so that young people wouldn't have to pay for the care of rich pensioners whilst they live in huge houses?
Me too. But everyone labelled it "Dementia Tax" for political posturing
Theresa May extends Brexit after failing to pass an agreement: "OMG SHE IS SUCH A CLEAR EVIL DISGUSTING REMOANER"
Boris Johnson extends Brexit after failing to pass an agreement: "Fair play he tried his best 😂🙈👌"
Reeks of misogyny
Until the day I die, I will never know how Thomas Gardiner (who has only just left Labour's legal team) saw this image and deemed that it wasn't antisemitic
If it wasn't for Winston Churchill, we would all be speaking German.
Well, I wouldn't, my family would have been systematically murdered based off of their religion.
It sickens me that members of the hard left are trying to tarnish his legacy.
Why is this a problem? Does the existence of gender neutral toilets hurt you? Do they make your life harder? Do they offend you? From what I hear, Kings has gendered toilets anyway. This is just a cheap shot to get likes at the expense of the comfort of transgender individuals
Furlough is extended until September because it is unreasonable to expect businesses to be able to function perfectly the second they are allowed to reopen
It isn't proof of a secret plan to extend lockdown
Justification for lockdown 1: We are dealing with an unknown pandemic. We will temporarily shutdown the country so that our hospitals are not overwhelmed to the point of collapse
Justification for lockdown 2: There's been a small uptick in cases
Why have the goalposts shifted?
Young People: I'm in the mood to watch *anything on Netflix*
Corbyn: Excellent, that'll be *insert amount*
Young People: No, I've already paid my Netflix subscription
Corbyn: I know, but you need to cough up a little extra so we can subsidise BBC shows you never watch
My book Ten Years to Save the West is out on April 16th in 🇬🇧 and 🇺🇸.
We must change the system and be prepared to fight for conservative values.
#tenyearstosavethewest
📕PRE-ORDER a copy through my website:
Every single politician, commentator, and public figure who has spent the past months spreading lies and fear about transgender women is complicit in this murder
I hope you're all ashamed
Detectives have arrested two teenagers following the death of 16-year-old Brianna Ghey in Warrington.
A 15y/o boy and a 15y/o girl, both from the local area, have been arrested on suspicion of murder. They are currently in custody assisting police with their investigation. (1/6)
Layla Moran: I'm going to keep my sexuality private
Daily Mail: Disgusting! We are going to expose you and your secrets
Layla Moran: Okay, I'm going to publicly come out as pansexual
Daily Mail: Disgusting! Just another attention seeking snowflake!
Laura Kuenssberg: Good morning, how are you?
Corbynites: Well, well, well. I see that, once again, you refuse to use every word that comes out of your mouth to insult Boris Johnson. You are very clearly an anti-Corbyn Tory mouthpiece. Disgusting!
Social conservatives: Feminism sucks! Men's rights are being ignored! Look at these statistics about male mental health, suicide and fatherlessness
Also social conservatives: Omg is that man playing with his child?! WTF that is disgusting. Stupid piece of shit. Awful man
Young people were told to sacrifice our normal lives to protect the elderly until they were vaccinated
Now that we've nearly reached that stage, some believe young people deserve to continue living in isolation for no good reason
1. The documents are from Theresa May's government
2. Even if this wasn't a lie, it wouldn't be putting "the NHS up for sale" by any metric. The NHS needs to buy its medicine from somewhere. If US companies offer the best medicine at good prices, who cares?
Labour: What the hell is a Tony Blair? He has nothing to do with our party. His actions don't represent us in the slightest.
Also Labour: Jo Swinson is singlehandedly responsible for every bad thing the Lib Dems ever did in their entire history
The transgender suicide attempt rate is 40%, 80% in total have considered suicide
But it isn't because "we encourage their delusions". It's because scum bags like you spend your life going out of your way to ostracise and abuse them
An IDF colonel comes into Warwick University to talk about saving Syrian refugees. And look at how the pro Palestine lot behave. The height of immaturity and disrespect
(Video creds to
@GoldmannHarry
)
CC:
@GnasherJew
Jeremy Corbyn: I Jo Swinson. She's such an awful woman. She's basically a Tory. Jo Swinson is everything wrong with the world. The thought of Jo Swinson makes me throw up
Jeremy Corbyn: Jo Swinson please make me PM
Jo Swinson: No
Jeremy Corbyn: WTF she has no right to do this
@SocDoneLeft
Israel has the Iron Dome system which limits civilian casualties. As long as there is conflict, there will always be more casualties on the Palestinian side
If you're planning on going out today to just take photos of those standing in queues and being slightly too close to one another, please either get a life or stay at home
We 👏 need 👏 a 👏 Disney 👏 princess 👏 who 👏 builds 👏 on 👏 the 👏 greenbelt 👏
We 👏 need 👏 a 👏 Disney 👏 princess 👏 who 👏 builds 👏 on 👏 the 👏 greenbelt 👏
We 👏 need 👏 a 👏 Disney 👏 princess 👏 who 👏 builds 👏 on 👏 the 👏 greenbelt 👏
A level students: *absolutely bricking it for Thursday and not needing anything else to make them nervous*
The Press: "ALL THE PAPERS HAVE BEEN MARKED WRONG, NO-ONE HAS GOTTEN IN TO UNI, YOUR NAN IS IN CLEARING!!!!!!!!!!!"
I can't describe how certain I am that if Corbyn was PM, and Seumas Milne broke lockdown, then the reactions of Tom Harwood and Darren Grimes would be incredibly different
"But his sisters"
Okay? I was unaware he was responsible for their abhorrent behaviour...
Some of you are just filled to the brim with hate to the extent that you will try to make out that someone who fought against Nazis was actually a Nazi
I think it's a very bad look to mock Change UK and gloat about the fact that none of them are MPs anymore
Those that defected from Labour left heavily because of antisemitism; their exit should have been met with reflection, not mockery
No-one:
Literally no-one:
Every celebrity on Twitter tomorrow: "I got 16 Us and 56 Es in my A levels yet still became a multi quadrillionaire. Don't worry guys 🙂"
Fwiw, this is the history of who has occupied/controlled Gaza in the last century:
1923-1948 British Empire
1948-1967 Egypt
1967-2005 Israel
2005-2023 Hamas
Keir Starmer's father was a toolmaker and Starmer had to work to gain access to a grammar school
Ed Davey was brought up by his grandparents after being orphaned at 15
Boris Johnson went to Eton then was part of the Bullingdon Club
Every winter before Covid, we had headlines saying the NHS was close to collapsing due to admissions increasing
It's clear the system currently isn't fit for purpose. Instead of having our freedoms limited every year, why don't we actually go about reforming the system?
Having just started uni it's clear that the vast majority of students are tolerant of other opinions and engage in debate.
Convinces me that the "you can't be right wing on campus" narrative is just used by dislikeable individuals creating a fake reason for their unpopularity