Ash. @hey_ashiwel Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

8 years

So, I googled my name.

5

21

84

Last Seen Profiles

@CirnoFumofumo

@RealFRamirez

@cinyc9

@TravisMcGaffee

@VessOnSecurity

@Xymbiz

@OrganicFKenya

@FranceTravail

@ilvstrasi

@PlayboyTV

@Antique_n_flawl

@ZzzSharkie65168

@ClintRountree18

@pchandarr

@ankarakulisi06

@ksdkamiakin

@boobs_scary

@newzdevesh

@tcnjlions

@AAlhikj

@Music_Santhosh

@aVURVOj7zoJ9cNi

@BramastaVerrell

@Msizkay

@bankmansneed

@hidamari_sauna

@unholydusk

@MckellipsS63083

@difrawy150277

@BobbyRydell

@ShifterbirdGame

@nysdotli

@JohnMcArts

@MustaphaJadama3

@aki_yattemiru

@lindsey_syrek

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

This is that content I signed up for. This is the kind of useless awesomeness I love!

315

38K

134K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

I j—

215

12K

138K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

This is actually how the president of Ukraine started a presentation! I'm in tears, bro! 😂😄

1K

34K

66K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

Part 2. 😂😂😂

183

5K

11K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

This is an excellent ad! 😂

84

4K

9K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

11 months

Edna, the Beloved

@Women__Leader

11 months

I need scented candle that will also work as a mosquito killer. Does this exist?

21

9

37

117

3K

11K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

The entire swag and confidence of Trevor Noah's grandma!

87

1K

6K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

John's ghost the next morning after the sign went up

7

137

6K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

3½ months.

98

318

5K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

I need to have a conversation with Yoruba people.

314

2K

5K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

Dolly Parton: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeneeeee... 12 Year Old Me: I'm begging of you please don't take my maaaaaan...

18

2K

4K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

Americans are weird. I remember a few years back how people in one state—don't recall which—voted in a referendum to triple minimum wage for restaurant workers, and restaurant workers fought the increase back to the previous minimum wage because they were afraid of losing tips.

79

2K

5K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

Still one of the most accurate depictions of Lagos I've had the fortune to photograph.

79

2K

4K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

How to save a small child who's choking.

8

4K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

The guy probably went to think about his life after the old man left.

395

3K

4K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

I love it!

69

1K

3K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

This gets funnier every time I watch it! 😂😂😂

54

1K

3K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

Yes, @netflix . Yes!

38

1K

3K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

All I took from this is that even our Lord and Savior could only manage a 10% conversion rate. Let your marketing team breath.

Jacob Coyne

@jacoblcoyne

2 years

Jesus fed the 5,000 but only 500 followed him after lunch. He had 12 disciples but only 3 prayed with him in the garden before his arrest. Then, only 1 stood with him at the cross. The closer you get to the cross, the smaller the crowd becomes

2K

26K

145K

94

2K

3K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

This is one of the most incredible things I have ever read on the internet! Goodness!

204

1K

2K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

Dr. Tony Rapu talking about barrenness and the multiple ways that God fixes it: "... through medical intervention, or IVF, or through adoption..." It warms my heart.

43

930

2K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

I've spent the last 30 minutes cry-laughing at this video! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

103

1K

2K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

Shy women pick up men for the first time! 😂

50

815

2K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

This is the guy they want to bring back, my god!

264

2K

1K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 months

Today's rant: burying a loved one in Lagos. In Yaba, it's ₦4.5 million for a grave. Want to cover up the ugly bare concrete with some marble? That's an extra ₦2.2 million. Small print: price excludes funeral services and incidentals like a hearse, casket, pallbearers, etc.

440

1K

2K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

11 months

Rainy mornings are for cuddling, but carton of Huggies is now ₦54,000. I shall henceforth be referring to my wife as sis. Please step away from the bed, sis.

40

489

2K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I can't deal with Nigerians! I can't! 😂

45

1K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

Watch the CNN investigation that proves that the #LekkiMassacre did indeed happen. #EndSARS

50

1K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

Wingman.

25

94

1K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

Haaaaayyyy God!! Is this not the "die on the line" guy?!!! Look at God!

44

1K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

@Bisolaaa Had me wanting to fly to Jamaica and vote for her?

4

60

1K

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

This thread wasn't what I was expecting. 😂

7

1K

744

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

If my child even thinks for a brief second of — 1. Charging her aunt, 2. To babysit her cousin, 3. In the middle of a family emergency... Man, I've failed as a parent!

lemon chicken with yonkies

@foreverimbetter

1 year

Reddit is saying she’s not the asshole for this and the teenager lacks empathy but how are you gonna ask someone who does this for a living to do it and then be surprised when they ask about their pay?

319

210

2K

10

366

854

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

God...damn, Nike! I have goosebumps!

17

438

781

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

I provide my own light, water, transportation, food, housing, security, healthcare. I inspire myself I am my own hero.

S.

@saratu

7 years

Who are your Nigerian heroes?

26

5

3

15

1K

722

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

I swear I thought she was having a bad case of stomach upset!

42

1K

715

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

Found it! Maine tried to raise its minimum wage. Restaurant workers didn’t want it.

Analysis | Maine tried to raise its minimum wage. Restaurant workers didn’t want it.

Some cried with relief when their wages were lowered.

www.washingtonpost.com

7

346

789

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

1. Forbes decided Kylie whoever is not a billionaire because she and her family lied to everyone about their finances. Seems to me like just another regular day of white women doing their thing. 2. A lot of people called bullshit and were called haters.

15

274

672

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

I want to ask this genuinely, because I am sincerely confused! What do Lekki property Developers have against grass and trees? Is Aliko paying you people a comission for all that concrete? Explain it to me slowly. Please.

41

272

696

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

Guess who came home? Going to need past questions for school fees Twitter.

107

42

686

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 months

If you can help it, don't die in Lagos.

41

210

689

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

I might name my daughter Phoolan.

7

342

545

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

8 years

Because we are all in this together. Can't come and be trying to escape the suffering. Very disloyal.

Godwin product guy

@sirg6ix

8 years

I'm still confused as to why attempted suicide is a criminal offense in Nigeria. Please enlighten me.

5

22

7

19

2K

541

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

Give him another passport and tell him to go hide it.

BorpaToken

@BorpaTokcncom

1 year

If you were my 2-year-old, where would you hide your brother's brand new passport?

11K

3K

77K

20

235

662

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

This is too much work to be honest. I just want to fucking say my vows and go home and lie on the couch. There's no need to be a video vixen!

afroskills

@AfroSkills

6 years

Nobody was ready for them 🤧

67

2K

4K

57

737

531

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

Bruh, I'm not even crying right now! This is the most uplifting thing I've ever seen! 😭

47

271

545

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

Companies quick to tell you about their EMEA team. Meanwhile, the A does not exist, and the ME is clearly Dubai.

23

221

518

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

"So is the baby!" had me in stitches; but when he asked if the baby paid extra to yell, I lost it! 😂😂😂😂

5

68

524

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

Your own is to be claiming people upandan social media. But if Nnamdi had gotten in trouble and reached out to you for help, you would ask him what he was doing there; you'll say your hands are tied. But you're here claiming him without contributing a single thing to his life!

16

544

501

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

But can he eat shaki with his hands and not stain his shirt? Can he tell if the Agege bread is fresh? Can he?

40

1K

419

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

Me and mine to you and yours.

21

55

463

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

1. Data Analyst. 2. Operations Analyst 3. Designer 4. Monitoring & Evaluation Analyst You're looking for an intern to do four full time jobs, on the wages of an intern and the benefits of a temp. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

34

1K

414

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

And tell me why the goat is camera ready bro?!

11

20

430

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

A charlatan and a fraud for hire.

12

325

448

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

Then there's this:

4

167

410

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

Madam please. You were out here the other day interviewing a thug who's been accused of denying Nigerians the right to vote in people who can lead this nation into power and prosperity; and you didn't ask the man one single question about it.

Funmi Iyanda

@Funmilola

4 years

My dream is that Nigeria builds herself into the biggest, most powerful, prosperous nation of black people on earth. That way, the negotiations will be about power, which is the language of the world.

68

158

478

11

541

387

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

Stopped by Game at the Palms yesterday for water, and apps, they're having a closing sale. Empty shelves, 40% discounts, etc. Staff said they couldn't reach an agreement with Nigerian investors who wanted to buy them out. It's depressing.

11

256

397

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

This is so heartwarming!

18

76

357

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

Today's lesson: never put your suya and your wife's suya in the same bowl. Rookie mistake.

17

57

355

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

Really went and lucked out, didn't I?

24

18

343

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

This is one if the reasons why people go in on Mother's Day but barely observe Father's Day. Be a present father.

26

278

303

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

South Africans started a space to convince each other — and the rest of us — that they aren't xenophobic. Then the xenophobia started leaking out.

12

147

318

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

Someone sent me this video of some oyinbo dude kayaking in Lekki. Fam, I'm cry laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭

47

430

272

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

Someone raised $303 million at a $4.5 billion valuation to sell okrika! Father Lord!

14

126

301

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

Nigerian youth vs. Nigerian Government:

19

247

294

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

I'M PISSED!!! 😰

18

212

277

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

How brilliant is this?!!!!

3

239

272

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

2 years

These are my blessings.

11

9

291

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

Spent a crap ton of money on toys only for this...THIS...to become my child's favorite toy. Toddlers are annoying!

28

44

290

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

Nike serving up the good stuff again. As usual.

0

226

254

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

I hate Nigerians. Why is a restaurant called Petit Paris serving isiewu and nkwobi? 😑

34

85

267

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

Hey guys! launched into beta today in Lagos. It's a platform for finding *trained* and *vetted* artisans on demand. Laborhack artisans clean up after themselves, and Laborhack will rectify the issue for free if the first artisan did a poor job. Pls RT.

17

240

266

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

Just saw the most hilarious thing! World leaders WhatsApp group chat the day before Trump's inauguration 😂😂😂😂😂😂

6

337

242

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

I'm crying real tears! 😂😂😂😂😂

74

195

232

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

I've read the policy documents of both the APC and the PDP. Something that struck me: the APC is appealing to the masses with its manifesto. It's shorter and the better designed of two poor designs. The PDP's intended audience appears to be businesses and the educated class.

30

208

218

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

To all international and local news outlets, if you want to know what the #EndSARS protests by young people in Nigeria are about; we have a website where you can read our stories and see images from the protests. Go here:

5

895

235

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

🤔

37

105

225

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

For those who need context:

5

197

194

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

Like, I mean isn't it obvious it's a Zebra?!! 😂😂😂

24

115

204

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

T'Challa appears on the Black Jeopardy game show. SNL is so unhinged! 😂

3

108

187

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

The Xhosa version of Niniola's Maradona. I dig it!

7

99

192

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

Man, Rwanda! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

15

260

176

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

Just confirmed that this works in Lagos, and they answered the phone promptly too. Hopefully the response times are just as quick.

13

589

164

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 months

What if you wanted to bury your loved one in Ikoyi so you don't have to travel hours to visit their grave? Prices start at ₦20,000,000 and can run as high as ₦50,000,000.

110

97

186

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

@AquafarE

0

6

153

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

Guys, I'm howling!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

11

266

175

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

@Kayodeine That's a fair point. I don't think people are necessarily against tips or tipping in general. Nigerians, for example, will tip you just for hailing them. All the umbrage comes from people bristling at a compulsory percentage, and the sense of entitlement that drives it.

5

45

185

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

Guys, I need to name 21 streets, and I'd like to name them after some of the undercelebrated women in Nigeria's history. Suggestions?

199

187

163

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

7 years

Take my hard earned money!!!! Take all of it!!!

12

172

160

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

Still one of the most hair-raising hakas to ever be danced! Still gives me goosebumps every time! Still makes me want to rush into battle and rip the enemy to shreds for daring to speak my name!

14

73

156

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

1 year

@Orguy

0

1

172

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

8 years

Trump making sure Melania votes Trump because you can't trust these immigrants. #ElectionDay #USADecides

4

102

136

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

3 years

Nice one, Google.

5

72

164

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

8 years

*Slow clap*

1

127

123

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

6 years

Went to the airport yesterday; I took some pictures.

13

52

147

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

4 years

If @mamaamuwo is your mother, tell her we said she doesn't have sense and her UK education was, evidently, a waste of money. Also, tell her we know how to recall our representatives when they stop having sense.

Pulse Nigeria

@PulseNigeria247

4 years

"They (Nigerian youths) are high on drugs all the time, most of them. They go to social media to do all sorts of things." - Lagos lawmaker, Mojisola Alli-Macauley, on recent events in the state.

11K

6K

9K

5

272

150

Ash.

@hey_ashiwel

5 years

Me starting to type a response and then realizing I'm not ready to invest all that energy in what will most likely follow...but still feeling unhappy that I let all that ignorance slide.

0

164

130