Hermes @hermestouch Twitter profile

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Hermes

@hermestouch

12 days

Howdy 👨🏾‍🌾👨🏾‍🌾

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Last Seen Profiles

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Nevermind , I just figured it out

Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Guys …..how do i fit this in my header?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

The train of logic never makes a stop at your station does it?

𝙒𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙧

@Reggaewailer

3 months

No Palestinian is standing with Kenya?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

The Fuliza limit will always tell you 😭😭😭

GOAT JERSEYS

@TemperCR7

1 year

Can't Relate.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

This doesnt even make sense 😭😭. I have zero tattoos but 3 STDs

Post Carlone

@carltonkitheka1

5 months

I can't comprehend how anyone can take this guy seriously 😂😂😂

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Hermes

@hermestouch

7 months

Bumped into some porn on the tl and only found out it was kenyan when i heard the words “Usishikilie, nataka umwage , mwaga uskie fiti “ 😭😭😭😭???

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

The finest boy you know can’t pose for a good pic to save his life. Like the moon, his beauty is to be experienced.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

it’s so crazyy that invention looked at necessity and said mother!!

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

i adore women very much. i wish i could buy a big farm so they could all run around and play together.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

What did i just wake up to omg

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Hermes

@hermestouch

7 months

As much as i agree that she is vile . What does feminism have to to do with this 😭😭??

Francis Gaitho

@FGaitho237

7 months

TOXIC FEMINISM: Kindly watch out for the lady below. She turned hostile when asked to pay. She caused drama in the entire apartment hurling insults, spitting in the mouth of the apartment manager. She threatened the host and apartment manager that she has a gun and would shoot

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Hermes

@hermestouch

26 days

You n3groes need to get up your asses and work. How are yall borrowing money everywhere and piling debts on frivolous activities like partying and polishing faux lifestyles beyond your economical means and then struggling to pay back ? That shit is embarassing as hell

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

And if we kick every gay men out of Kenya , then who is going to be your husband Nairobi women?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

@005e5n So very diaspora african of you

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Y’all not real eaters . I thought we love golden showers . Susu kidogo mnaogopa ??

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Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

And it was not just women but that’s tea for another day

Post Carlone

@carltonkitheka1

8 months

Why are people shocked about that girl dancing on that mzungu NRG boss. You guys don't remember this video of Sharon Mundia, Amina Abdi and the Late Chris Kirubi? 😂

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 months

@keaaaaley @aurapalmerrr Y’all don’t know anything about rap and having staple signatory line . Maybe it be wise you stick to Gaga and continue listening to Nicki in the closet as you whine about her in public

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

Socrates Gadfly

@emcsquaredxx

10 months

The Flag The Neck(body)

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Girl dinner 🍲 🍛 @ifwerika

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

I have my two cents on this and extra tea for the tea pot but i do believe it doesnt help to out him in this case But For that ever angry short lightskin UON graduate , ill always find it funny that he insults Sakaja on this yet they are one and the same 😭

Honey 💕

@NanjieGalgalo

3 months

Sakaja isn’t straight ? Eh eh I can’t take any more heartache from this government.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

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Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

My View Her View 🍕🍸 @ifwerika

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Hermes

@hermestouch

26 days

She sells seashells by the sea shore, dumb ass girl is unfamiliar with the concept of supply and demand but at least she is trying her little best

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 months

I cant believe someone is being filmed getting r&ped and you log on to social media and its kenyan men either making jokes about it or blaming her for being intoxicated. Like this gender is really really rotten, vile and evil. Just why ?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 months

Just big and greedy mtaka yote ass individuals

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Hermes

@hermestouch

7 months

How it started Vs How it ended DL man edition

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

@melvitto Mind you , we had to crowd fund cash for him to afford tickets as a birthday gift only to have him whining like this

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 months

A tall glass of Mocha

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

👨🏾‍🌾👨🏾‍🌾

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

The world failed you Vanessa Chettle but the North remembers ❤️❤️

$

@2000sphase

9 months

Who’s your favorite OG ItGIRL ?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 months

My mutuals are like 19-23 and already have baked livers . Kazi ni kukunywa tu 24/7

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Last time I prophesied about Kenyan Government issues I was told to shut up. That’s exactly what I’m doing this round 🤐🤐. I choose to rest in peace not pieces

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

The cracked phone , the messy ass claustrophobic cage of a room , the single chipped big toe with nail polish off😭talking bout 18k is little money Tragic

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

@lilywanjiee I meant it when I said it

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

Thom Browne Casual

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Hermes

@hermestouch

2 months

The way she is staring at him ?? I know that look and she is gone gone

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

It really makes a Vas Deferens

dLandon 👑

@_dlandon

3 months

i think showers fix everything 😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

6 months

Rayon de soleil 🌞

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Hermes

@hermestouch

4 months

@denzelistiredd No stay at home if you are going to be quiet

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

@zippie_gitau Not when it burns when i pee 🥲🥲

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

Me hiding in the restroom at work to listen to pink Friday 2

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

@bosiborineema

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Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

🩸🩸🩸

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 month

🥶🥶

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 month

@dimog25 @BoujeeNBanjee @The_IT_BOY Lets start with the AI ass cover . Not professional at all

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

Eiiii i was so confused jameni

Daniel

@Daniel_Danny704

5 months

Cocktail Dates?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

👓👓

Aúdrey🖤🇰🇪

@luckyaudreyy

1 year

Men with glasses anybody?? Let's have it🥹

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

The only unique position you stand in ,is the continued failure to tame those hideous ass wigs. #RejectFinanceBill2024

Charlene Ruto

@charlruto

3 months

I stand at a very unique position regarding the issues facing my country Kenya as we speak. As a president's daughter, I have no doubt in my mind, watching my father rise in politics for over 30 years, seeing his work and passion behind the scenes, that he truthfully holds the

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

Y’all are so 😭😭😭

Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

This doesnt even make sense 😭😭. I have zero tattoos but 3 STDs

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

The impact that this look had. Like you cant escape it in african fashion tags on Pinterest . And i put it together 2 hours in panic before the event 4 years ago.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

4 months

😑 🙂‍↔️

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

How I dress

M A G U N G A

@theMagunga

5 months

How I dress 😊.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

4 months

There is nothing i love in this world like a good rice stir fry with onions, some veggies with plenty of chicken strips. Elite meal

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 days

Rate my table decor and set up skills

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Feelings? Soulful connections? This is why most men give lacklustre sex. Fueled by their masculine chutzpah, they can’t think of anything past penis that’s capable of offering satisfaction. This kind of dumbness is actually offensive😭, like get this shit off the internet

Ku Nigga🌚

@tekashi_tanui1

3 months

I'm not against lesbians but imagine not sleeping at home because of a finger 💀😂😂

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

@CardiGeneration Not everything is about that talentless Latina

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

@justInwuah Stop playing with em Riots!!

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Catalogue shoot for Fashion fix

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 month

She had the kind of aggressive pickmeness that can only be found hanging low within a pair of massive testicles .

Punstar

@roywahome9

1 month

Yikes😂😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

2 months

I clocked a year 4 days ago 🫡

Hermes

@hermestouch

4 months

Happy 10 months celibate 🎊🎊

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Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

BIO Napenda boy waliokaza kiume tu , siitaji aliyelegea wala mwenye swaga za kike . Zingatia ujumbe zen nicheck. Njoo nikunyonye chuchu na mkundu Kisha nikuzamishe uboo 🍆wangu mkunduni nikufire taratibu uku ukitoa miguni ya Kimahaba kwa utamu

Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

Kiswahili is such a cursed language when woven into a sexual context . So aggressive and gross 😭😭. This coastal man’s bio is so unhinged

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Hermes

@hermestouch

2 months

Why do you bother being straight when you get zero bitches cuz you tweet weird shit like this? If after looking at beautiful women, your first thought is about gay men…? i think you are more qualified to answer that question than you think..

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@gxchvcha

2 months

Bro wasichana ni warembo sana huku nje for you to be ghey

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Scenes

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Hermes

@hermestouch

2 months

Ooh the midsommar era 😭😭😭

chebetonsteroids

@Iam_ronoh

2 months

Y’all let me dooo this??????

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Hermes

@hermestouch

7 months

@thatkenyankid Supermetro nightmare 😭😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

The Flag The Face

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

I still have not slept with a twitter mutual . Us the strongest

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

@KokiWabule Socrates is just horny by power of words. He never gets laid Sanji is both a slut in literary form & in actual life Pedro is a slut for himself. I just know he pleasures himself infront of a mirror while puckering his lips high to the sky They all occupy diff niches of slut

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

June Dump

Kiki

@Njoki_Njanja

3 months

June Photo dump Anyone?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Everyday is Girlfriend’s day ❤️

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Hermes

@hermestouch

14 days

Iphone 13 pro max is the last good iphone btw

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Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

‏ؘ

@fcreverwinters

9 months

ever see a man so beautiful you want to kill yourself

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Honey Mustard 🍯🍯

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Everyone on Twitter has a complex about their appearance and thinks they are weird looking, no one here was popular in high school and it shows

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

💀 💀

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

This autotune demon might have elite production on his songs but as a rapper he isn’t seeing her . Let’s be serious for once

AllRapTakes

@AllRapTakes

1 year

This or that?

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Hermes

@hermestouch

6 months

@itgirlenergy @celineofficial Its lowkey giving Chanel

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Hermes

@hermestouch

2 months

Gosh can my dad love me like he should so I can stop giving this 40 year old man attention when I’m too good for him

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

@Andrewwwhorn @Bsquaredz77 @mar3uss Meghan Trainor catching strays 😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

I hope Kenyans really get in tune with the fact that our leaders use religion as a tool to subdue the masses . Dorcas coming over to pray with her son is insane because I knew him and that man is an actual staunch atheist.

Nyar Kendu💃🏾

@EffieJoan

3 months

She comes with the son and prays there crying about the works of the devil and then says she is going to take care of the hospital bill and move us to another house and she is sorry, she is our mum yada yada yada.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

7 months

Mko na maneno 😭😭😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

This is sending me 😭😭😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

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Hermes

@hermestouch

10 months

A show depicting what happens irl in high schools with adults playing the roles. Lets not be obtuse on purpose

James Bong

@JamieButon

10 months

How did we ignore that this man's character in Tahidi high was a pedophile na tulikuwa tunawatch tu bila kuuliza kitu

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Hermes

@hermestouch

2 months

😭😭😭😭😭woah woah

jay ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊⊹

@glorxyz

2 months

oh my god?? 😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Quite frankly the final boss…

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

This GIDA x Kikoromeo launch look might just be one of my fav moments this year

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Do not date that twitter user. I don’t care if the e-sex is bomb. Do not do it.

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Why do girls have like only 4 heights? 4’11 5’2 , 5’5 and 5’7

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 months

I can’t believe I exist in a timeframe where kids born in 2005 can tweet , “Avoid women at all costs. Like what 😭😭??

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

The replies are so disappointing. What the hell is wrong with all these unloved men projecting

dennis ombachi OLY

@ombachi13

1 year

When you travel with your children you are giving them something that can never be taken away Deciding not to travel with kids because they won’t remember is like not reading the books because they won’t remember the stories you read them. GOOD MORNING MOSCOW

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Not the descendants of the 8th Plague of Egypt already chiming in

Black King

@kingNyamu

3 months

@GlenGavin7 ulienda ukaonyesha dem fukara vile mkona pesa akakataa kutoa mimba eeh😭😭😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

3 months

Not even one single slice of laugh escaped my mouth

Sakaja Arthur Johnson

@SakajaJohnson

3 months

Gen-Z bana. Hizi number mnatumia vibaya sasa 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆

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Hermes

@hermestouch

9 months

Unsullied

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Hermes

@hermestouch

5 months

@FromJohny Uko wapi sahi sahi , nikunyunyuzie kisonono na kaswende dia

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Hermes

@hermestouch

1 year

Holy shit 😭😭😭

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Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

Subtitutes for the word Nonchalant cause im so tired of seeing this term on twitter Dispassionate Blasé Detached Insouciant

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Hermes

@hermestouch

11 months

Is this a joke to you ??..

ruru👱🏾‍♀️

@RuthFridah

11 months

mirrors by Justin Timberlake is the most beautiful song ever

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Hermes

@hermestouch

8 months

Your minuscule brain might indeed be the luckiest brain in existence . Never working to have an output of conscious sense , just relaxing and vibes

MZIZA

@scar_mkadinali

8 months

One way of reducing femicide is by advising our women to get married by the age of 23yrs. Married women rarely go to Airbnb n clubs. This is not rocket science come on. #RongRende

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