My mom just called me to tell me not to look up at the solar eclipse on Monday unless I have certain glasses on because it’ll damage my eyes. Ok thanks for letting me know I’m having 30 drinks and smoking cigarettes all day but I will talk to u tomorrow. Love u
@titobeauvi21
@AnnaKendrick47
hey man thanks for letting me use your gear during that fundraiser you held for the animal shelter to save puppies. Your cup was way too big but other than that everything worked fine. Thanks again!
Don’t toe drag into the middle if you don’t want to get your clock cleaned. Textbook hit, I’m tired of this European bullshit. Stay off the tracks or go play pickle ball bitch boy
White chicks love when stuff rhymes. Like if you say something that rhymes they’ll be like oh that rhymes! Yes it does and I want to bury my tongue in your back porch consensually. I’m so drunk
sitting here sports betting on the NBA having the time of my life and just randomly remembered how dany heatbomb was calling for a one timer on THIS area of the ice. This motley crue rockstar type shit l
The 8 guys that just got ejected from the game 2 seconds in should absolutely meet up and go grab beers somewhere and party the rest of the night. Leave the rink and go enjoy the night. That’s old time hockey
I can’t believe people are complaining that Jon Rahm took 600 million dollars to join LIV golf. It’s 600 million dollars. I’d play every tournament wearing assless chaps for team Taliban for that kind of money
Love how this kid gets to the league and just can’t stop fighting. Reminds me of my parents throwing silverware at each other in the kitchen before the divorce. So much fighting it was so sick
You can’t tell me Harry Potter wasn’t steady piping hella hoes at hogwarts this dude had the best magic powers and he was putting up Conor mcdavid numbers on the quidditch field every single week
*whistle blows. A scrum ensues. Tom Wilson pulls out a pistol and starts shooting guys on the other team. They’re all dead. He reloads. He then shoots everyone on HIS team. Everyone dies. Blood everywhere.*
Caps fan in crowd: thats hockey baby
Brady Tkachuk is such a captain in the national. Two chilly ones in the back pockets marching up the stands into the crowd giving out high fives like he’s in Mötley Crue. Supporting his brother at all costs. Unreal
People forget that Nail Yakupov came to the NHL and then scored a game tying goal in the 12th game of the season and did a 150 ft celebration and then just packed up his shit and went back to the Siberian premier league. You have to respect that.
Tough scene in the Bay Area as sharkie sucker punches gritty directly in the head. Gritty is unconscious and is completely unresponsive. Situation is being investigated by San Jose police.
Imagine being Fantilli and you're 2 seconds away from living in Southern California (not the bad part with homeless guys are screaming and pooping all over the street, like the chill part in Orange County where every Range Rover is freshly waxed and if you don't have a Bentley to…
My 3 year old son knocked on my bedroom door tonight. I open it, knelt down, and said what’s up pal? He holds his skates up and says dad, I don’t want to play anymore. I said why? What’s wrong? He said, it’s Zegras and Milano dad. They’re ruining my sport. He broke down in tears
One of my favorite plays in NHL history is Kostitsyn changing on the back check in a tie game with 9 minutes left in the final frame. Absolutely hysterical.
Tkachuk plays the most meat and potatoes hockey ever. Just so much god damn fucking beef and so much potatoes. There’s butter all over the potatoes. Salt all over the fucking place. Like just coming back from work and walking through the house in steel toe boots tracking mud…
You hold out for 6.9M and your first warmup shot is 12 inches off the ice? Really? I knew this kid wasn't worth it. You gotta come out with no bucket on with 15 pieces of gum in your mouth. Just chewing shit up and spitting everywhere. Every shot should miss the net high. Cmon
Chara is a psychopath. Only tougher thing I’ve witnessed was Harry Potter playing in the hogwarts quidditch finals with a broken heart after hermoine hooked up with Draco Malfoy at the sigma hufflepuff homecoming shaker. The jungle juice was so strong that night. So crazy