Greg Bauch @gregorybauch Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@PurebredNeon

Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

1 month

Brandon Beane: "Oh, don't worry, Bills fans. I have something else up my sleeve." (trades Josh Allen)

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

When she wants to go into Kohl’s real quick

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Josh Allen is God making up for OJ.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

The Bills got me through one of the worst years of my life and I'm grateful for that.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

An Only Fans that’s just Josh Allen stiff arm videos.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

8 months

(Chris Collinsworth watching Patrick Mahomes choke on a powdered donut) “This guy just does it all.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Don't worry, I'm down at the Buffalo maternity ward making sure all newborn babies watch twenty eight hours of drought-era film before allowing their parents to put them in Bills onesies.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

Mighty Pack: A 6-step story: 1st taco: "Don't remember eating it." 2nd taco: "That was good." 3rd taco: "I'm so glad I have 3 more!" 4th taco: "Oh, no I'm almost out of tacos." 5th taco: "I shouldn't have eaten all these tacos." 6th taco: "I mean, I'm not gonna leave 1 taco..."

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 months

Showing 13 seconds to Bills fans before this game is like showing plane crashes to people during preflight.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Walking around Buffalo, you can really see the growing excitement for our sports teams.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

Belichick losing a challenge is my stimulus check.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

When I was 19, every time I needed to get to Transit Rd., no matter where I was in the city, I'd drive all the way to the 400 because it had a Transit Rd. exit. The point is, 19-year olds are stupid and Rasmus Dahlin will be fine.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

When I get the dental appointment reminder postcard in the mail.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Kenny Albert: “They’re calling it a goal.” Wayne Gretzky: “Mark Messier and I built a robot in my basement in and it killed 17 people.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 months

Let’s hold a fans only meeting

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

(Chris Collinsworth watching surveillance footage of Tom Brady stealing FedEx packages off his front porch) “You gotta hand it to him. So crafty. He’s 44-years old.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

Zoomed in on that black hole pic.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 years

Watching Peterman come into the game is like seeing that girl from The Ring crawl through the TV.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

(Chris Collinsworth watching Tom Brady accidentally fall into a volcano) “That’s a 44-year old man right there. Doesn’t even touch the sides of the volcano. So graceful.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

1 year

Watching the Sabres game on my phone and I will tell you it’s in my left hand.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

I just beeped “let’s go buffalo” while driving by Sunoco and a bunch of people sprayed gasoline in the air.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

I bet Sean McDermott didn’t know what to do to fill up that much time so he just kept clapping.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

The nice thing about Bills losses is you get to wake up and look out your window to be reminded that the land in which you live is cold, barren, and unforgiving.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

The Bills getting a pick for Lee Smith while the Sabres lose their 12th straight is very “why can’t you be more like your brother, the astronaut?”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

1 year

Good for Tage to get that monkey off his back. You don’t want those goal droughts to go past a period.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 months

The Buffalo Sabres are like women. I love them and don’t understand them.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 months

The Sabres do the playoff chase like I've done everything in my life. "Oh crap, that's due tomorrow?"

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

8 months

Josh Allen looking across Lake Erie at Canada: “I could jump that.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

It’s been hard to keep quiet about this but I saw Jack Eichel at Wegmans and he didn’t weigh his produce.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 years

As a longtime Bills fan I'm never one to overreact, but we should all definitely lock arms and walk into the ocean.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Watching the Bills game today will be like watching a toddler near a staircase.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

I don’t want to overact but I just burned “Bills 2021-22 Super Bowl Champs” into my forearm with a hot fork.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

My adorable dogs woke me up this morning with big smiles and wagging tails and it’s a great reminder that they’re so fucking stupid they don’t even understand football.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

11 days

It’s like giving the guy your wife is sleeping with money to buy her dinner.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

If the Bills ever do make it to another Super Bowl, I don't think I'd be able to watch with other people. No Twitter or snacks or furniture or outside light. The commentary would be replaced by oceans sounds. And only one of my dogs could be in the room, the calm one.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Nyheim is a running back with good vision. Everyone always says that Hines' sight is 20/20.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

A reality show where people try to tackle Derrick Henry to pay off their student loans.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

1 year

(Chris Collinsworth standing over Patrick Mahome’s bed) Whispers: “Sleepiest angel ever. That’s a tuckered lil guy, right there.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

7 years

I am leaving my wife for the process.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

It only last 11 seconds but there is no better feeling than a full container of dip and a full bag of chips.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 months

So what if there was a 'Bills fans only' meeting. There was, and luckily Greg Buck was there with the call.

Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 months

Let’s hold a fans only meeting

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

Today is so fun because we got through Trent Edwards running out of bounds on 4th down in GB, Tom Donahoe forbidding signs, the Chad Morton game, the Willie Parker game, Toronto, the TO keys to the city, the Dallas MNF game, and two decades of Belichick to get here.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Kenny Albert: “So the Sabres take the lead!” Wayne Gretzky: (Reads the entire novel 1984 out loud)

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

1 year

(Chris Collinsworth watching Patrick Mahomes have diarrhea) “This guy just doesn’t waste any time! Getting it out in a hurry.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

Nothing makes my wife happier than pointing out parking places that are closer than the one I settled for.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

The Bills Thanksgiving game is nice because my family really needs something upsetting to push us all over the edge while we're in the same room so we can kill each other.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

The Bruins and Maple Leafs in the playoffs is like watching your parents fight. Who cares who wins, 'cause you lose.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

The Bills should just show up somewhere today and beat someone at something.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

The Sabres should replace their logo with a fan handcuffed to a radiator.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

I was just at the hospital and they’re replacing all MRI machines with “MacGruber Tubes”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Eichel is going to heal Sabres Twitter.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

If you yell “Go Bills!” at your mailman today he’ll give you extra mail.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

These two are going to argue and make out so much in the next couple of hours.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

I don't even care that we bored the shit out of America.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

We had to put our dog down last week, and he was so excited to get in the car, and that's kind of like today for Bills fans.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 years

Someone go cover Rasmus Dahlin in bubble wrap and take away his Twitter.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

I'll let people merge in front of my car on the 290 right before the big blue water tower.

Howard Simon

@hsimon62

5 years

if the Bills beat the Pats on Sunday....(you complete the sentence however you'd like)

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

Eichel said in his interview with FriedgeHNIC that all of the babies in Buffalo are ugly and that he prefers ranch.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

I’ve already lost $73,000 betting on cricket

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 years

I can't believe no one wanted anything from the worst hockey team I've ever seen in my entire life.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

I promised that, if the Bills won, I'd drink an IPA.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

I haven’t seen this many flags since the insurrection!

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 years

I hope the Bills beat the Patriots tonight. I'm like a dog, excited to be going for a car ride, unaware that my owners are taking me to the vet to put me out of my misery.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

I had not ever heard of Ed Oliver before but if the Bills don't take him here I'll kill myself.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

Lets go meet the Bills at the airport!

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

To be fair to the Sabres, I’ve also never once done well at any single thing.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

I will handcuff myself to Jeff Skinner this summer if I have to.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

I want the Bills to win like people want dogs to not get hurt in movies.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Stefon Diggs could shake his shadow.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

If you're heading to Wegmans this afternoon, bring a horse, a shield and a lance.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

If the Sabres win I’m showing up to work in a Starter jacket, drinking a Red Dog.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Keith Jones: “Nice chip in the zone there. Gretz, who was your favorite Chipmunk in the 80s?” Gretzky: (tells 7-minute story about Alvin and the chipmunks)

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

I hope the Bills win.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

I hope Adrian Peterson's family is enjoying listening to how old and close to death he is every 8 seconds.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

(Intelligent life lands in Buffalo, NY) Alien: “We’ve come to share our advanced technologies that will eradicate hunger on your planet and preserve your natural resources.” Buffalonian: “Give him a wing and see what he dips it in!”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 years

The Browns are like me when I got my first credit card.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Are we sending money to Andy Dalton?

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

(Jeff Skinner, lifetime hockey player, after watching tonight's game from the press box) "Oh, THAT'S what I've been doing wrong! Geez!"

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

It's easy to be upset about yesterday but I'm confident the Bills take down in Houston in Game 2 tonight and even up this series.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

Eichel v. Sabres is like when your parents fight - no matter who wins, you lose.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

To be fair to the Sabres, I suck at everything I've ever done too.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

6 years

My lawn is the perfect height for tomorrow's 2:30ish angry Bill's game mowing.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

1 year

Me clearing my schedule for February 12th

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Remember, it’s just a dumb game that determines whether or not you’ll ever be happy so have fun.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 months

Imagine being 18 and being old enough to smoke or vote or die for your country but not old enough to know what a Sabres playoff run is like.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

5 years

What if Wednesday and Thursday are the days the kids are supposed to learn their/they're/there?

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

Can’t we get three ghosts to teach Eichel the true meaning of Buffalo or something?

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Every time I drink beer I have stupid thoughts like, “I bet I could fight a wolf” or “I should get Sabres season tickets.”

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

I care more about Tre White than my family this sucks.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

"Our house is on fire but THE FIRE IS PRETTY COLORS!" - Sabres

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

Weird way to break the Bogosian news.

Buffalo Bills

@BuffaloBills

4 years

New items just added to clearance!

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

2 years

Jeff Skinner is like chicken wings, sure you’re paying more but I don’t care.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

7 years

I already want them to fire the coach they bring in after Rex.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

Darcy would've gotten Taylor Hall and a pick.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

1 year

I’ve seen the Bills 3rd string center this year more than I’ve seen my parents.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

I'll admit that I was not emotionally prepared for the Bills to be the greatest team of all time.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

Imagine having a product people were born into loving unconditionally and screwing that up. Doing a worse job than doing absolutely nothing. Your fans are addicted to you and you're detoxing them with stupidity at every turn. #Sabres

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

3 years

The Sabre dog thing is a blatant ‘feel good’ PR move that will absolutely work on me. I will like every post. I would die for Sabre dog. If any of you jerks besmirch the dog I will stab you in the eye with an icicle.

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Greg Bauch

@gregorybauch

4 years

Work from home tip: Have everyone dress like they would for the office.

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