the way i had to talk to this loose pit when me and freddi on a walk, i hit him with the kawhi “hey hey hey” until he trotted his ass right back cross the street

@faketitojohnsON 🤝

@faketitojohnsON Me: *letting my dog out to pee* Dog: *wanders a bit too far* Me: Aye lil niggga, get over here...

@faketitojohnsON “Aye. Aye! Calm yo ass down.”

@faketitojohnsON I used to hit mines with the "ifyoudontgetchoassbackacrossthe street" and "Immabeatyomotherfuckingassifyoudontstop" and my favorite "Getyourassinthishousebeforeyousleepoutside"

@faketitojohnsON my personal fav “dogs don’t do drugs! stop coming over here every time you see me roll up”

@faketitojohnsON Lmao reminds me of the video of the guy catching his dog f*cling another neighborhood dog and he cussed him out while chasing him with his car 😭😭😂

@faketitojohnsON It’s how we tell them we love them 🥺

@faketitojohnsON *stray pit Bull stops to stare at me on the way in to work* Me: Wuz hatnin?

@faketitojohnsON I’m a vet tech and I can confirm.

@faketitojohnsON you know i had to give my black dog “the talk” about how white people perceive his color, thinking he’s a 120 lbs dog when he’s actually 45 lbs on the money. *he* thinks he’s a big dog but you can’t be out here scaring white ladies w/tiny dogs w/ leashes bigger than they are.

@faketitojohnsON Case in point: (a betch was feeling froggy cuz I was in my car w the windows up 😂😂)

@faketitojohnsON Look...I just had an argument with a bird yesterday... that mf’r. And the crows always seeing by to say good morning🤗

@faketitojohnsON *dog slides into the kitchen while I'm cooking* "Ummmm... can I help you?"