Jake Browne @fakejakebrowne Twitter profile

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Thread of Conan Hot Ones gifs I will be using until the internet stops working:

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Last Seen Profiles

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

weed companies today:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 years

Proud to live in a city where 45% of voters are like "Fuck it, let's legalize mushrooms." 🧙‍♂️

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

28 days

Just a little tip for new sellers: sometimes a personal note goes a long way to getting great feedback.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

19 days

The cool thing about the end of the Nuggets game is a pop that loud from a crowd makes it really easy to sync a ton of fan footage from the game. H/T to @katywinge for asking people for their clips!

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Evergreen tweet:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Twitter messed up the upload but Y'ALL my wife secretly learned how to play Magic 😭😭😭

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

4 years

We need to end the stigma that something is "wrong" with someone when they #DeleteFacebook . What's wrong is how Zuck has: - Sold out our Democracy to the highest bidder - Provided havens for hate groups - Abused our data - Made his platform increasingly addictive

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Day three of a music festival

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 months

Why am I quitting paper Magic? I lost $4,469 (nice) dollars playing "professionally" over the last year. That's a vacation to Europe, a TV wider than I am tall, or one of those expensive TikTok dogs. All to play a Pro Tour, two RCs, and two MagicCons. Here's a sobering 🧵:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

1 min after eating edible #3

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Making your student loan interest payment

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Texting your bestie about Marcy Playground tickets

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

11 months

As a Magic video editor, I have a minor obsession with the topic of gameplay thumbnails. Specifically, THE thumbnail. You know the one I'm talking about. Four people. Four Commanders. A logo. At this point, I can barely tell videos apart from each other, so here's a quick 🧵:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Every comedian with a Tuesday gig 20 minutes outside the city

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 months

I love that in the world of Magic: the Gathering, the fun, casual format has more fucking drama than the rest of the game combined. It's like if you showed up to mini golf and half the people had caddies or were shitting in the windmill.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 months

Today, I want to take a quick look at why scale anchoring—the end points of how individuals identify their decks—doomed the old EDH Power Level chart and answer the age-old question of why everyone says their deck is a 7. There's actually a scientific explanation! 🧵:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 months

One year later, I can confidently say that learning to play Magic is the sweetest thing Sam has ever done. We're going to play tonight. It's the opposite of "going to Ikea together" for our relationship.

Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Twitter messed up the upload but Y'ALL my wife secretly learned how to play Magic 😭😭😭

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

4 years

I've had this venn diagram sitting around for months. Thanks to Donald Trump's threats on the ambassador, it's finally complete. #TakeHerOut

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

7 years

@billburr Aren't there supposed to be air marshals on every flight? 💅

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

11 months

Oh no they make fortune cookies for Magic players now

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Anyway, this is a Hall of Fame interview, and I cannot urge you enough to watch it. Kudos, @seanseaevans and the @firstwefeast team.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 months

Winning 12 Festival in a Box events was great, but absolutely decimating their resale value for a gag is really what I'm here for.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

6 years

(THREAD) One of the great experiments in journalism is, for all intents and purposes, dead today. The Denver Post's marijuana vertical, The Cannabist, has cut all editorial staff and will replace them with bots. This is the story of stupid, stupid hedge funds.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 months

My entire family: you're so hard to shop for Me: I love Magic: the Gathering and make Magic content and open packs of Magic cards Them: just no clue what to get you Me: literally anything Magic Them: hmm....

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Okay, if y'all are going to keep RT'ing I'll keep 'em coming. My relationship (with Magic: the gathering cards)

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

My dog every time a squirrel sits on our porch

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

It's been 1,164 days since @MTG_Arena 's closed beta launch and we still don't have default basic lands.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

@elonmusk You just sneeze directly on the screen or what?

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Anyone else think it's weird that the difference between winning, I dunno, 20 games and winning like HUNDREDS of games is the pack equivalent of 4000 gold? Like, not even enough to enter a Quick Draft? Just me?

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Remember when this happened? That was pretty cool.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Friendly reminder not to buy Ultimate Guard products this holiday season (or ever!) after they knocked off a small business in our community, then undercut her price by 7 cents on Amazon.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

According to @scryfall , there are 23,208 legal cards in Commander. Only 465 of them (2%) cost more than $20. You don't need expensive cards. You want them.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

It's been 1,280 days since @MTG_Arena 's closed beta launch and we still don't have default basic lands.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

PT didn't go well but I did get my playmat signed 🥲

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 months

I continue to loathe the impact that Play Boosters have on limited

Emma Partlow 🔜 MagicCon: Amsterdam 🇳🇱

@emmadpartlow

2 months

These are not Standard legal, FYI. #MTGOTP

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Alexa play air horn sound effects for one hour

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

7 months

Nothing tilts me more than purple swamps don't @ me

Sam, known kumano enjoyer

@IslandGoSAMe

7 months

These are proxy basics, but if WotC ever made Secret Lair: Paint Swatch Basics, the world might finally begin to heal

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

@EveSimmns @katiehind Hey Eve! I covered cannabis for The Denver Post for years. One thing I would recommend when it comes to this subject is avoiding using terms like "scromiting" which aren't actually words. I don't have anything against tabloids! I guess it's just tabloidy things that get me. 🤷‍♂️

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 years

@Sethrogen me omw to Seth's house:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

10 months

AHHHHHHHH they actually honored the price and didn't cancel 🫠

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

10 months

We're two weeks into Lord of the Rings draft, so I looked at the data today. Do I have some free wins for you? You better believe it. I did a deep dive into the pick orders of top drafters vs bottom drafters and hopefully this thread helps you realize what you're overvaluing.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

Celebrating Thanksgiving

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

7 months

My disappointment here is that Booster Fun killed, as we knew it, an amazing, three-decade-old experience that I've enjoyed since middle school. All because the "card game" was starting to get in the way of the "collectible." It's the dawn of a new era. It didn't have to be.

Mark Rosewater

@maro254

7 months

@KairiSawler If we didn't do anything, draft boosters were going away. This whole change was to save drafting (and other limited formats).

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 months

@egoraptor 🧐

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 months

With 10 Festival in a Box trophies under my belt, I wanted to talk about some of the things that are working (and what isn't) going into this weekend. From how to properly visualize your pool to a huge mistake I see players make, here's a thread on how to take one home:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 months

STOP👏USING👏UNIVERSES👏BEYOND👏AS👏AN👏EXCUSE👏TO👏MAKE👏DJ'S👏A👏THING

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 days

I'll take it a step further: if you can't afford a deck, have fun trying to pay for travel, dedicating all your free time to testing, and then still losing to some terrifyingly smart people. Too many delusional folks thinking they'd be the next Reid Duke if it wasn't for $500.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 years

Please tell me @JustinRoiland / @danharmon have seen this.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

10 months

Instead of focusing on rich people making bad decisions with their money, I want you to watch the time Maria Bamford got lowballed by her alma mater for a commencement speech and then gave her entire appearance fee to a theater kid, apologizing for not being a better negotiator.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 months

Friendly reminder to craft all your uncommons to speed up vault progress. Since there's a 250 card limit, check the alt texts for three easy-to-import decks that'll give you all of them and save you some clicks.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Here's a quick video on my Frankenstein's monster: WORLD'S FIRST AND ONLY all art card commander deck. I think it was, all in, around $17. Jodah, the Jerk:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

19 days

Someone call Wizards I figured out how to get Commander players to watch the PT

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

The man next to me is drafting face up and it might be the biggest flex in history

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

@hometown_design Is the cardboard cutout of Jordan in its prime?

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

@AnicaSeelie Wait this man ate a poisoned Valentine's sandwich AFTER he knew she was trying to get herself as the sole beneficiary of his life insurance? And then he consumed literally anything ever again? Honestly impressed he survived as long as he did.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

It's been 1777 days since the @MTG_Arena launch and we still can't set default art for our basic lands.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

28 days

I realize I've been talking about selling my cards a lot lately and that can come off as cold. I'm a deeply sentimental person. This game has and will continue to mean a ton to me. So here's a thread of the stuff I'll never get rid of. Like my Easter Egg Lurrus. 1/x

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

Very excited to bum out a bunch of new followers who came here for cannabis journalism and will instead get the Magic: the Gathering content they never knew they hated.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 months

Tomorrow marks a new era in the MTG Arena experiment: play digital, win physical cards. You can spend $25 (5000 gems) to win a Festival in a Box. If you win 60% of your games, you've got a 1 in 4 shot at taking one home. Before you play, read this thread on what it actually is:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 months

@ItsDanSheehan Wow. I don't think I've ever disagreed with something you've posted more. When discussing the career of NBA champion Brian "The White Mamba" Scalabrine, his stint with the Bulls should NEVER get billing over the C's. This is akin to saying "Honey Nut Cheerios spokesman Nelly."

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

10 months

I don't know who needs to hear this, but a popular coaching site is currently recruiting writers from the Magic community. The rate ($50 for 2000 words) is insulting. This will come out to below min wage for your expert opinion. I know times are tough but this is not the bag.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

A DUDE AT THIS RCQ JUST GOOGLED HIMSELF AND MADE HIS OPPONENT READ THE SCREEN! HOW AM I EXPECTED TO PLAY IN TIMES LIKE THESE?

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

9 months

You can't constantly turn to the Magic community for help with your "unexpected bills" when they are due to your addiction to Magic. Especially when they're "bills" for more Magic boxes to crack. Get it under control. You can't keep using good people to subsidize your habit, bud.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Celebration dinner at the only place still open at 1:30. I just qualified for my first pro tour since I was in middle school! 🤘

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

4 years

This deserves a million views.

VoteVets

@votevets

4 years

This July 4th, there is a new name synonymous with traitor. Move over Benedict Arnold. Meet... #BenedictDonald #TRE45ON

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

The average cEDH player has more money than skill.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 years

The cool thing about building your first EDH deck is finding out you need to build five more EDH decks.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

11 months

Last year, I didn't mulligan. I mean, did I take a mulligan here or there? Sure. I'm not a monster. But I would keep anything from a one-lander to a single spell. If it didn't work, I could always blame the shuffler. Here's how I fixed that this year and the best advice I got:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

10 days

I've played almost 350 games of OTJ draft, and I'm just starting to turn packs into gems. This set is uncollectible if you aren't a top 1% drafter. It wasn't always like this. When people say that bonus sheets are good for newbies because "they get a few extra rares" just know…

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

28 days

@RexCalibur0 Honestly roasting people's EDH choices as Nathan would be the best. "Good luck with Chatterfang. I find squirrels rather pedestrian."

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

10 months

Had a few responses like this. Let me make a few things clear: I've donated THOUSANDS in cards and cash to this community. I edit for below industry rate. I make content that is 100% free. Unmonetized. Miss me with this "you're a dickhead because you spent $600 on cards" BS.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 month

I cannot stress enough that if you can be emotionally manipulated into spending $29.99, Magic: the Gathering is NOT a great hobby for you.

kooby

@Noper53217557

1 month

@fakejakebrowne @jakejoelmtg @wizards_magic @MTGSecretLair i got one myself but the idea that fomo is going to make us force decisions on whether or not we should buy isn't a business model customers appreciate it

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

4 years

2 months sober. 🎉

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 years

@bertkreischer Smell test. Bad chicken is one of the easiest to identify with your nose.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Five years ago today @MTG_Arena 's closed beta launched. We still don't have a way to select default art for our basic lands or delete ones we don't want. 🤡

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

6 months

This would be the best advertisement for the 64 player Vintage Cubes if it wasn't actually horrible.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 months

@JeremiahDJohns C'mon mental age gap was some of the best satire of the year

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

@EveSimmns @katiehind But, let's break down your piece, starting from your fourth graf. Why did you feel the need to include apostrophes around 'wellness' when referring to dispensaries? Is this to let readers know that there's debate around the health benefits of cannabis? Is that a debate in 2022?

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Can't argue with results.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

Playing Magic as a child was fucked up. Other kids would bully you mercilessly. Your mom had to take you to the LGS. You had no disposable income. You didn't understand money, so you'd lose trades constantly. Tilting an adult, though? It was worth everything. Pure, uncut heroin.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

4 years

About to piss off a lot of racists. @thegrowoff is reducing entry fees for people of color, starting a pilot program providing mentorships in cannabis, and shifting our entire non-profit budget to organizations that share our vision. Black lives matter. Black growers matter.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 months

At the Denver RC, I forgot to pay for my Summoner's Pact trigger on upkeep. I was in my main and hadn't taken any meaningful actions, but I noticed, pointed it out, and conceded. My opponent, who had been super friendly and chatty said, "Yeah," and then stopped talking. 1/2

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 months

Fifth lesson: play online. Zero travel, food, lodging expenses? ✅ Already have the cards? ✅ Still have a shot at the PT? ✅ No COVID exposure? ✅ Can vape the whole time in your lucky robe and swear as loud as you want until you scare the dog? ✅

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 years

This is like watching your dad give a killer, heartfelt toast when your mom gets remarried. #DemsInPhilly

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

2 years

Uhh @wizards_magic might want to toss out some more Early Access invites next time. Watching a draft queue try to fill up for 10 minutes is not great.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

29 days

Went to list some full arts and woof, did that market crash. Maybe I'll just do all of them as a lot on eBay.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

4 years

"I was just asking if you're happy. Like, in a casual way..."

Eva Victor

@evavictor

4 years

heyy ok this is Eva vs. Anxiety episode 2: making small talk in an elevator

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 months

More Commander players should get into drafting/sealed! Embraces the singleton spirit, you brew as you go, and the gameplay is less repetitive than other constructed formats. And it's fun! This message brought to you by someone desperate to keep limited relevant in 2024. 🥹

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

6 months

Excited to announce my most unhinged idea yet: white border EVERYTHING. That's right: you can now order a perfect fit, white border @AlterSleeves for any* frame. Just in time for the holidays! * still working on that 'lil triangle from the Universes Beyond cards

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

8 months

What are we left with? The rest of Commander is supposed to fit neatly in this 6-8 range. In reality, we ask everyone to rate their decks from a 1 to a 3. Is it any wonder why 2 would be the most common response?

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 months

@Nicole_Dubin On the micro level of a tournament, you're absolutely right. On the macro level of just how I want to live my life, I think I'm right, so I'm probably not built for this, and I've come to terms with that.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

11 months

Orcish Bowmasters is, through day one, the fourth biggest bomb in 17Lands history with 72.4% GIH WR. Sunfall? Only 67%. Here's the rest: 5. The Hourglass Coven: 72.1% 3. Enter the God-Eternals: 72.7% 2. Skysovereign, Consul Flagship: 73% 1. Ashiok, Nightmare's Muse: 74.7%

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

9 months

Uh so my road test for my driver's license was cancelled

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 years

Hey @tommychong : I have the utmost respect for you and what you've done to normalize cannabis for decades. You've used your place in the community to do some real work, which makes the direction your social media team is extra disappointing. Like this post from earlier today:

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

3 months

Two people after the match said, "Nooooo, Jake, you just call a judge in that spot." That a judge would have walked it back. But, two things: 1) I knew if I take that loss, I never forget to pay again. 2) My opponent was willing to take the cheap win, so I was ready to earn G3.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

4 months

@dieworkwear Noticed that none of your examples included a hoodie actually working with... anything. Applying some of the concepts here, thought these might be some okay looks?

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

1 year

She remains undefeated! We're playing open handed still but she picks good lines and picked up Nalia fast. Party planners, am I right?! Also, thank you to @GhostOfGodzilla for putting in the time teaching an impossible game to someone who hates fine print. You're a hero.

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Jake Browne

@fakejakebrowne

5 months

Not to be a Jeering Instigator, but y'all *really* don't like Khans of Tarkir. I was trying to answer a data question for someone when I noticed that there was... no data. Turns out KTK is a historic dud. Here's the first two weeks of every set this year in Premiere Draft:

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