Coronavirus dies at 132°F so literally all we would have to do is put the weather machine at that temperature for ONE minute. ONE MINUTE! We would all be really musty but it’s literally just one minute... then boom! Pandemic over
i answered the door in my bonnet and my postmates driver said “love your muffin top hat! i used to go to the renaissance fair and see those all the time” so i looked them up and im screaming
Being the funny friend is annoying bc when you’re not in the mood to entertain everybody everyone thinks you have an attitude and catches one as well, when you’re really just minding your business. Now everybody mad bc you not in the mood to do clownery
You know that feeling when you KNOW you started your period. Its not a cramp, blood, or anything like that its like a feeling in your soul. Please tell me yall know wtf i mean
i cannot believe that i was born in a year that made my 20’s (hottest and wettest years) land during a pandemic, a recession, a housing & job crisis, $7 gas, a disintegrating planet, etc. like why yall say fuck me for??????
I know its only March but they said if we stayed inside and wore masks when we’re out at essential places the pandemic would be over by May... summer 2020 finna go up!!
i have heard people from ALL body types and heights say that they can never easily find a pair of jeans that fits perfectly. so WHO do these companies be making jeans for
I was on ft with my sister and she was talking to herself for like 2 min straight... i was like “why are u talking to yourself” she was like “im self employed! this is a STAFF MEETING”
Krispy Kreme donuts are not dense. They’re known for being airy and light because the yeast they use puffs the dough with air which eliminates the toughness and chewiness you speak of. It makes sense that the dominant flavor in a glazed donut is....glaze! In this essay i will
saw on tik tok that a shot of vodka can get rid of an incoming sore throat and i tried it and it worked… idc if ur grandma been doing it since 1200BC & u thought everyone knew this already.. NOBODY TOLD ME!!!!!
i used to hate the fact that i was “boring” but every time i try to be out & about doing what people deem as “fun” i end up stressed & drained asf. ive come to realize for me personally being “boring” is the only way to stay sane lol
This is gunna sound entirely deranged but when i was younger i was lowkey pissed i had straight ass teeth cause I thought braces were the ultimate bad bitch accessory, like literally asking my dentist is there anything they can do LMAO
i cant deal w/ people who aren’t solution oriented bc they will ask u for advice knowing they enjoy complaining and being in distress. which is fine if thats ur vibe but just say that
Idk why girls say they’d rather be friends with men... have u seen men???? Im always meeting such sweet girls (im still VERY picky with my inner circle) but they dont be giving the evil vibes as often as yall say they do!! As a woman i really value having girlfriends
remembering when cosmetic procedures werent normalized every time a youtuber got lip injections they made a 30 minute video explaining how they wanted them since they were a newborn in the NICU crying and shaking about having small lips 😭😭
Im telling yall rn im getting any vaccine they put out 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im not caring fr and the first place im going wit my new government chip is the boiling crab
i dont mind people who talk my ear off, but typically they are horrible listeners. why is it that i can sit and listen to you speak for an hour, ask questions and be engaged, but when i speak you’re like “ya so true..” then its right back to you. like oh boo!!!
HELPPPP i was otp with customer service and she asked me to spell my last name phonetically and my intrusive thoughts won & i said “N as in nigga” i just hung up omg