East Village Guy @eastvillageguy Twitter profile

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

4 months

Hey man, what’d you get into this weekend?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

26 days

*clears throat” Hola

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

“Mom, why is that man barking at his phone?”

໊

@addictionlipa

2 months

dua lipa speaking spanish

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Men only want one thing

Adam James Pollock 🕊

@aIIegoricaI

2 months

Normalise sitting outside the café all day and not really doing anything

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Jew tunnels must be expanding

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

22 days

If I die, all my boys have permission to say “on my dead homie” before blatantly lying

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Down bad in the trenches this week. Had to remind myself what I’m fighting for

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

13 days

This may be the biggest white boy summer in recorded history

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

If I were long $NVDA I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

When the edible hits while you’re still going through TSA

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

I would’ve pretended to be a waiter just to get a quick sniff

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Equity research / Equity sales

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

One of my boys is literally banned from hinge Think about that. Imagine how many girls had to report him for that to happen

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Just heard someone on my floor say “0.43%” instead of 43 bps

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

*clears throat* ¡Hola!

Wendy Patterson

@wendyp4545

3 months

Breaking News: Mayor Adams plan is to give Illegal's $10,000 each with No ID check required, No Fraud control and No Restrictions.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Am I interested in this middle market associate role in Cleveland? Idk, hot recruiter, are you interested in a drink on Thursday?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

The best thing about Shogun is that the drip is absolutely bananas Imagine if your MD showed up like this and told an intern to commit seppuku

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Just noticed that another man Venmo’d her $50 on Sunday morning

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

“I only drink oat milk” She said, taking a long drag of her watermelon vape

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Fixed it

memes.xlsx

@ExcelHumor

2 months

i’m about to cook

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

It’s called COQODAQ and it’s unreal Seed oil-free fried chicken, killer sides, reasonably priced. 10/10 would recommend

lusso

@luusssso

2 months

Still blows my mind that this a fried chicken restaurant in NYC

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

23 days

What is it about becoming a decabillionaire that turns white guys into Dominicans

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Yem🌹

@Big_Yem

2 months

6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !! 6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !! 6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !! 6 INCHES AND ABOVE IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE IN !!

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

16 days

“Who created all this shareholder value?”

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Men used to go to war Now they take legal meth to be really good at Excel

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Miss me with that Venmo Big just get me back sometime guy

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

28 days

Hot take but I’m in full support of Google here Big tech has turned into an adult daycare system, and this serves as a great reminder that if you want a mid-6 figure salary you need to act accordingly.

Dr. Anastasia Maria Loupis

@DrLoupis

29 days

🚨BREAKING: @Google has FIRED all employees who entered its CEO’s office and threatened to stay there until Google canceled its $1.2 billion contract with the Israeli government. Google is a child killer supporter. You know what to do.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Historians believe this was the first instance of what we now call a “White boyfriend / Asian girlfriend” combo Their descendants number in the thousands, living primarily in the Bay Area, where they host podcasts and drink Soylent

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

@nycethancheese And not regret it

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

Congratulating my absolute boy and roommate of 3 years on moving in with his girlfriend (she’s wonderful)

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

27 days

Compliance / Sales

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Long Dua Lipa / short Sydney Sweeney

Pop Base

@PopBase

2 months

Dua Lipa stuns in new photo.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Times Square is the physical representation of a Spirit Airlines flight to Miami

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

15 days

To everyone in their 20s not living in a tier 1 city: 1.) Why

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

12 days

“Yo Kendrick just dropped again” Brother, have you showered today?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Guy next to me is pumping out 110 dumbbells on incline bench like it’s nothing Idk what she did to you bro, but I kinda want her to do it to me too

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Anyone have a good alternative to the All-In pod? Listening to Jason and Sacks try to figure out who knows less about politics has become insufferable

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Gm let’s cook

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Shogun is great, but my biggest critique is they’ve failed to convince me that it’s this guy’s first time seeing Asian women Think about it. Dude shows up in Japan, having NEVER seen an Asian woman before, and wants to leave? Guy like me would never.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

19 days

Forgive me father, for I have sinned

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

6 days

“Yea boss I just think fucking off to Rome for a week, on the company’s dime, will improve my leadership skills”

Mayor Eric Adams

@NYCMayor

6 days

I'm traveling to Rome because the solutions to the problems facing our city, country and planet must be solved together — by sharing ideas and strategies. We will be talking infrastructure, climate change, the asylum seeker crisis and so much more. Through hard work and

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

Why yes, hot sales girl, I’d love to do whatever you just said. Where do I sign?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Gm chat, another week in the trenches. Let’s get it

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

8 days

I want to take you away from this

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

17 days

The quickest way to spend $80 in NYC is to walk outside and breathe air

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

30 days

Shogun fan account

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

@AB84 “Listen here, buster”

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

The last thing your grandma sees before being sold a variable life insurance policy with no upfront cash value and massive premiums

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

@NoCapCapitalLLC No such thing as bad publicity

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

7 days

Tried this logic with sports betting and pushed my retirement out by at least 5 years

Ramp Capital

@RampCapitalLLC

7 days

This is my quant

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

11 days

@mugshawtys

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

6 days

Condoms are for people that order their steak well done

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Before we get started I’d like to say 2 things: 1.) I’m a grower 2.) It’s not warm in here

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Smith machine bench? Really? A man of your talents?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

At a certain point its easier to make more than to spend less

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Just scrolled through her tagged posts

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

Me after 7 light beers

Sam Altman

@sama

3 months

fk it why not 8

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Low margin / high volume

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

POV you posted about jew tunnels causing earthquakes in NYC and gained 1,000 new followers in a day

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

5 days

The train back to CT on a Saturday morning is a wildly overlooked talent pool The Celtics bench isn’t this deep fr

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

@windbreakergod

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Cause of death: checking out girls while Citi biking home on Park Ave

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

18 days

SF review Pros: - Asian chicks with purple hair - bomb Mexican food - weather and beach access Cons: - need a car - mid nightlife - traffic - way too quiet Overall I was stoked to get back to NYC and have lots to think about before potentially moving

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Citi biking during sundress season will be the death of me

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Generational gaslighting opportunity

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

9 days

At the gym looking for the 50 pound dumbells and noticed a guy curling them… Brother, keep em. Take the keys as well

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Which way, western man?

🅿️

@the_P_God

1 month

Went for a walk in the west village today. Can’t believe people pay to live like this.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

20 days

If a Latina can’t fix me then I don’t want to be saved

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

16 days

Everyday I see girls hotter than Sydney Sweeney on the subway

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

@ayeejuju Delete the internet, we need a fresh start

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

Nobody is hornier than sales people

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

26 days

One of them kept asking if I wanted to “get outta here” And go where??? My boys are here!

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@the_P_God

26 days

Can’t believe women showed up at the pre-game. Was trying to ball with my bros

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

Hi Sharks, I’m asking for $10m to re-open the New York Stock Exhange with only Latina brokers

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

You’re in her dms I’m in her model trying to figure out wtf she did to #REF it out so badly It’s a war zone in here, All Quiet on the Western Sheets

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

29 days

New PWC Associate just dropped

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Remember, you joined this company for two reasons: to learn and to earn Both are great, one is fine. In the absence of both, it’s time to go.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

Girls will really stand outside the bar and cry on the phone while talking to a guy that looks like this

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Why are you, a white man over 25, not a DJ?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Why do you, as a man, put sugar in your coffee?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

17 days

Just now realizing, as I suffer at my desk, that I’m too old for Sunday funday End of an era.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

MBA associate just sent the buy side model to the sell side advisor

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

15 days

“Yes please include me, I’d love to be on the call” He said, knowing full well that he doesn’t want to be on the call Instead, he’d rather be Citi biking on the West Side Highway while bumping the same 5 John Summit songs on repeat.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

26 days

When she leaves after only making out with you for 2 hours

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

30 days

Always knew this day would come

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

Just noticed the linktree in her bio

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

The bonus has landed, and on a Thursday no less. One of my quants brought in a bottle of bourbon to celebrate If you’re a tequila soda or petite blonde, be advised.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

28 days

4 months and 30 pounds later

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

Had my comp review

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

1 month

When is AI going to automate everything? I wanna go play outside

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

Gathering all the former situationships that received my “still thinking about you” message

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

28 year old M&A VPs that make $500K a year reading this

High Yield Harry

@HighyieldHarry

2 months

The girlies are cooking us

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

30 days

Big Tech Product Manager

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

25 days

I didn’t go to the gym once during the first 2 years of my career, and seeing that trend reverse with analysts today warms my heart Even more important is that it’s coming from the top down.

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

26 days

If the rest of the world was as horny as New Yorkers are during the summer, there’d be a trillion more people

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

When I gave notice that I was leaving my analyst program to join a FinTech startup, my MD asked me, literally, what the hell I was doing Don’t expect people that have been in the same seat for 10+ years to understand, just roll the dice

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

And you thought it was a victimless crime?

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

If you’re not already hip to this gem in the East Village I cannot recommend it enough I’m yet to find a better cure for insomnia, hangovers, or joint pain

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East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

2 months

I bet you thought it was over

East Village Guy

@eastvillageguy

3 months

To the girls that steal hoodies home from one night stands, why?? When are you even gonna wear it again?? T shirts are one thing but I’m not made out of Lululemon

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