charlie @chunkbardey Twitter profile

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charlie

2 years

eating dinner w ur friend is like wait this zucchini is rly good. it can be like that but also lots of other things as well. life is so full it’s almost impossible to describe. and of course full of pain as well

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

reading my spotify list being like omg wait i love these songs

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

ppl posting on instagram like “2020 was fucking awful but i made it through” and it’s like 8 pictures of them on vacation

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

putting soup in a square tupperware...... it’s just not right. it should be a circle one which is the shape of soup

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

ppl come over to ur house and are like “can i get myself a glass of water” and ur like “sure” and u look over and they’ve chosen literally the most random glass you’ve ever seen

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

it can be sooo healing to stay up til 3am. unfortunately it will also completely ruin your life

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

breakups are so crazy like who am i supposed to text??? i bought a new cereal and i like it - i’m supposed to keep that information to myself ???

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

tik tok truly paralyzes me like i’ll watch it for 45 minutes in whatever position i was in when i opened it. the stillness of a lizard in danger

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

so crazy when someone gives u the prompt “tell me something you’ve never told anyone” like are you out of your fucking mind

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

everyone else’s birthday is on the most random possible day whereas mine is on the day where it’s like ok Yeah this is a birthday

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

does any1 kno when the pandemic is going 2 be over

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

the fact that if you go to bed at 11 you can wake up at 7 and have gotten 8 hours of sleep......... that’s so crazy i can’t believe that

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i want to be sooooo rich someday like even have enough to rent a 1 bedroom

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charlie

@chunkbardey

10 months

4 times 3 being 12. that is a classic

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

imagine graduating in 2010... proudly wearing your SEN10RS merch... what an exciting time

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i love that u can’t take a picture of the moon. elusive queen ! live theater slay

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

just picked up a rubber band that had been in the same spot on my bedroom floor for a month. absolutely incredible to see what i’m capable of when i give it my all

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

being rly tall must be so hard. everyone’s just like “wow you’re so tall” and you have to be like “haha yeah”

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

so funny when recipe writers are like “this is a perfect one for those days when you have NOTHING in your fridge. so you’re gonna start with some leftover pulled pork”

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

it’s sooo important to go w ur mom to stores

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

keeping myself sharp by regularly asking myself tough questions like “what happened yesterday” and “what was i planning on doing just now”

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

when recipes are like “add 12 ounces of asparagus” it’s like what the fuck are you talking about. what does one ounce of asparagus look like i’m literally going to fucking kill you

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

HATE when i’m saying something serious and i accidentally rhyme. i am not the lorax!!!!!!

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

so scary when someone’s coming over and they’re like “here!” it’s like omg my life is about to change …

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charlie

@chunkbardey

8 months

ppl are like “can you turn down the AC” and it’s like ok so semantically what do u mean by that

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

wish i didn’t love to complain but unfortunately i’m just really good at it. who am i to deny the world my gift

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

movie night :) watching one of those three minute tik toks

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i’m obsessed w going to someone’s house and asking them if they need me to pick anything up on the way. pure good boy energy

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

sooo important to keep your cat stimulated by asking it questions like “who’s my cute guy” “who’s the smallest little guy” “who’s my tiny little cutie pie mr man” “where’s my little friend. where is my tiny little friend”

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 month

it is horrible when your birthday is over like now i’m just a civilian

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

because of cancel culture i imagine

New York Post

@nypost

4 years

America ranked among worst countries to raise a family, study says

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

having plants can be amazing but sometimes they’re flopping when you’re flopping and it’s just like jesus christ someone in this house needs a win

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i am against victim blaming except for when someone loses their sunglasses in the ocean

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

sometimes when ur hands get wet ur like how the hell am i gonna get out of this one

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i remember as a kid being like “Wow as an adult i’ll be able to buy as much candy as i want whenever i want” which turned out to be completely true and as amazing as i imagined

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 months

january 31, 2024. new year’s eve

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

“go piss girl” changed everything for me re: going piss

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charlie

@chunkbardey

6 years

so let me get this straight........ the only point of life is going on like little weekend vacations ?

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

u get like 8 days in your life total where every part of your body feels like fine

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

so weird how my boyfriend's roommates have never met their roommate in-laws (my roommates)

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

when ppl are like "omg they looted a Best Buy that is so sad" it's like wait actually no it's not

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i hate how many leisure activities make you wear paper wristbands. how am i supposed to relax while wearing a paper wristband …

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

“zero to the power of zero is one” ok well first of all relax

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

just accidentally used my morning moisturizer instead of my nighttime moisturizer. fuck my life i’m going to be up for HOURS

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i’m honestly a pretty productive person except for if there’s even one noise or sound

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

sometimes i’ll be like “god i wish i were in bed right now.” but then i’ll realize that i actually Am in bed. and then it’s not so clear what i want

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

it’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

and on top of everything else, fingies cold

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

when u see someone holding dry cleaning it’s like ok THAT’S an errand

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i hate when ppl are like “i love winter!!” well now my fingies are cold. happy now ???? is this what you wanted ??

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

when i say “i should be there in 5!” i’m almost always using the moral sense of the word ‘should’, not the like probability sense. like yeah being there in 5 minutes would be the right thing, even though it’s not going to happen

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

PLEASE stop posting about your accomplishments unless i have the same ones otherwise it can make me feel BAD!!!!!!!! i seriously shouldn’t even have to say that

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

enjoying one of the all time classic pleasures (lying on floor)

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

having to make myself dinner?? no no there must be some mistake. i only very recently had to make myself lunch

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

not to brag but i grow all my own food myself (i only eat basil)

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charlie

@chunkbardey

8 months

having ppl over is so scary it’s like yeah so this is where i do my thang i guess…

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

hey do you need any help in the kitchen?? please say no please say no please say no

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

some stuff that’s been on my mind recently. feels vulnerable to share stuff like this but whatever, it’s real and it’s honest

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

Driver’s License is obviously a catchy song but every time i hear it i’m like aww babe you’ll get over it

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

checking twitter right before bed and reading five of the most upsetting things i've ever heard in my life. well goodnight

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

Uh Oh: how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

comparing myself to others. wish me luck! :)

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

spending 40 dollars is sooo healing. unfortunately it’s also wrong

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

just as the prophesy foretold……..

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

completely in denial that i’m going to have to figure out something to eat for dinner. not making any moves towards a solution at all

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

i can’t believe your best friends can live in different cities than you. i don’t care where your “job” is, come here!!!!!!!!!

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

wearing big shirts is amazing cuz if someone wanted to stab me they wouldn’t even know where i am in here

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

my big flirting tip is to wear something with an unusual texture

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

so fun to hang out in a group of five ppl it’s like ok we’re literally a car

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

dividing 75 by 2 to get 37.5....... awful experience. wouldn’t wish it on anyone

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

my bf is in law school and he’s taking Contract Law so i have him look over contracts for me. but he hasn’t gotten to the part where he learns if a contract is good or not, just whether something IS a contract. so he’ll just be like “yeah that’s a contract”

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

running late. and to make matters worse i’m wearing a stupid outfit

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

there should be an emoji that expresses genuine and true fear

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

cannot stand when a problem can only be solved by time passing. why not a clever tool or a combination of like herbs

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

u guys have no idea the kind of stuff i go through (sleepy etc)

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

very insulting for a fly to buzz around your head. i do not smell that bad and even if i did i don’t deserve this!!!!!

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

well it’s 11am. the day is over

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charlie

@chunkbardey

17 days

my landlord has such a beautiful mind ❤️

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

humiliating to be into furniture. “beautiful table” jesus christ

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

you expect me to get work done ?? in these conditions?? in this world?? where my socks feel weird???

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

it’s so important to speak up when you see the big dipper

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

i’m like not depressed but i’m def a little like . deproinky

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

vacuuming the rug to experience 20 gorgeous minutes of clean rug

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

ppl are like “the president said WHAT” it’s like ok go off w the capacity to still be surprised

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

wait not to be a bitch but literally what does the future hold

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charlie

@chunkbardey

9 months

oh god. oh god this is a huge disaster. ughhhh

MachinePix

@MachinePix

9 months

Mis-calibrated Heartbrand Twister Pineapple popsicle line.

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

heyyyy sorry i couldn’t make it last night. my socks got bunched up weird.

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

having lentil soup for dinner is funny cuz then two hours later it’s like ok so now let’s figure out what’s REALLY for dinner

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

my friend natalie just made an amazing point. she pointed out that “you never know”

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

when someone loses something i like to ask helpful questions like “where did you last see it?” and “where did you put it?” and “where is it?”

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

i get why ppl tweet about making soup. cuz u make soup and ur like wait i have to tell someone about this

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

i’m a pretty resilient person unless something hard is happening

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

u remember a word like bashful and all of a sudden ur like wait im feeling bashful

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charlie

@chunkbardey

4 years

it’s so weird that “brb” and “g2g” aren’t rly a part of texting any more like they were with AIM. like instead of clear temporal boundaries ur now just like constantly a little bit texting until an awkward peter off ????? i miss g2g

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charlie

@chunkbardey

10 months

being single is crazy ur just in ur room like 😐

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charlie

@chunkbardey

1 year

LOVE to pull the string to tell the bus to stop. one of the few things they haven’t turned into an app

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charlie

@chunkbardey

2 years

if u hear me say “cant win em all” just know i’m fighting for my life

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charlie

@chunkbardey

10 months

about to make up a situation in my head. wish me luck!

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

cooking dinner for urself is an amazing opportunity to wash your hands one thousand times

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charlie

@chunkbardey

3 years

so much of the pleasure of having a cat is getting to watch this creature make decisions that will always be at least partially inscrutable to you. it’s such a pleasure, inexhaustibly fascinating because cats can’t speak or explain. like why did you go over there

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