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charlie Profile
charlie

@chunkbardey

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here for a good time and a long time. ultimately a comedian. is this helping??? i have a podcast called @ExplorationLive

Joined July 2014
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
eating dinner w ur friend is like wait this zucchini is rly good. it can be like that but also lots of other things as well. life is so full it’s almost impossible to describe. and of course full of pain as well
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
reading my spotify list being like omg wait i love these songs
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
ppl posting on instagram like “2020 was fucking awful but i made it through” and it’s like 8 pictures of them on vacation
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
putting soup in a square tupperware...... it’s just not right. it should be a circle one which is the shape of soup
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
ppl come over to ur house and are like “can i get myself a glass of water” and ur like “sure” and u look over and they’ve chosen literally the most random glass you’ve ever seen
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
it can be sooo healing to stay up til 3am. unfortunately it will also completely ruin your life
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
breakups are so crazy like who am i supposed to text??? i bought a new cereal and i like it - i’m supposed to keep that information to myself ???
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
tik tok truly paralyzes me like i’ll watch it for 45 minutes in whatever position i was in when i opened it. the stillness of a lizard in danger
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
so crazy when someone gives u the prompt “tell me something you’ve never told anyone” like are you out of your fucking mind
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
everyone else’s birthday is on the most random possible day whereas mine is on the day where it’s like ok Yeah this is a birthday
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
does any1 kno when the pandemic is going 2 be over
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
the fact that if you go to bed at 11 you can wake up at 7 and have gotten 8 hours of sleep......... that’s so crazy i can’t believe that
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i want to be sooooo rich someday like even have enough to rent a 1 bedroom
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@chunkbardey
charlie
10 months
4 times 3 being 12. that is a classic
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
imagine graduating in 2010... proudly wearing your SEN10RS merch... what an exciting time
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i love that u can’t take a picture of the moon. elusive queen ! live theater slay
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
just picked up a rubber band that had been in the same spot on my bedroom floor for a month. absolutely incredible to see what i’m capable of when i give it my all
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
being rly tall must be so hard. everyone’s just like “wow you’re so tall” and you have to be like “haha yeah”
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
so funny when recipe writers are like “this is a perfect one for those days when you have NOTHING in your fridge. so you’re gonna start with some leftover pulled pork”
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
it’s sooo important to go w ur mom to stores
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
keeping myself sharp by regularly asking myself tough questions like “what happened yesterday” and “what was i planning on doing just now”
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
when recipes are like “add 12 ounces of asparagus” it’s like what the fuck are you talking about. what does one ounce of asparagus look like i’m literally going to fucking kill you
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
HATE when i’m saying something serious and i accidentally rhyme. i am not the lorax!!!!!!
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
so scary when someone’s coming over and they’re like “here!” it’s like omg my life is about to change …
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@chunkbardey
charlie
8 months
ppl are like “can you turn down the AC” and it’s like ok so semantically what do u mean by that
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
wish i didn’t love to complain but unfortunately i’m just really good at it. who am i to deny the world my gift
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
movie night :) watching one of those three minute tik toks
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i’m obsessed w going to someone’s house and asking them if they need me to pick anything up on the way. pure good boy energy
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
sooo important to keep your cat stimulated by asking it questions like “who’s my cute guy” “who’s the smallest little guy” “who’s my tiny little cutie pie mr man” “where’s my little friend. where is my tiny little friend”
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 month
it is horrible when your birthday is over like now i’m just a civilian
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
because of cancel culture i imagine
@nypost
New York Post
4 years
America ranked among worst countries to raise a family, study says
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
having plants can be amazing but sometimes they’re flopping when you’re flopping and it’s just like jesus christ someone in this house needs a win
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i am against victim blaming except for when someone loses their sunglasses in the ocean
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
sometimes when ur hands get wet ur like how the hell am i gonna get out of this one
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i remember as a kid being like “Wow as an adult i’ll be able to buy as much candy as i want whenever i want” which turned out to be completely true and as amazing as i imagined
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 months
january 31, 2024. new year’s eve
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
“go piss girl” changed everything for me re: going piss
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@chunkbardey
charlie
6 years
so let me get this straight........ the only point of life is going on like little weekend vacations ?
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
u get like 8 days in your life total where every part of your body feels like fine
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
so weird how my boyfriend's roommates have never met their roommate in-laws (my roommates)
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
when ppl are like "omg they looted a Best Buy that is so sad" it's like wait actually no it's not
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i hate how many leisure activities make you wear paper wristbands. how am i supposed to relax while wearing a paper wristband …
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
“zero to the power of zero is one” ok well first of all relax
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
just accidentally used my morning moisturizer instead of my nighttime moisturizer. fuck my life i’m going to be up for HOURS
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i’m honestly a pretty productive person except for if there’s even one noise or sound
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
sometimes i’ll be like “god i wish i were in bed right now.” but then i’ll realize that i actually Am in bed. and then it’s not so clear what i want
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
it’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
and on top of everything else, fingies cold
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
when u see someone holding dry cleaning it’s like ok THAT’S an errand
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i hate when ppl are like “i love winter!!” well now my fingies are cold. happy now ???? is this what you wanted ??
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
when i say “i should be there in 5!” i’m almost always using the moral sense of the word ‘should’, not the like probability sense. like yeah being there in 5 minutes would be the right thing, even though it’s not going to happen
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
PLEASE stop posting about your accomplishments unless i have the same ones otherwise it can make me feel BAD!!!!!!!! i seriously shouldn’t even have to say that
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
enjoying one of the all time classic pleasures (lying on floor)
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
having to make myself dinner?? no no there must be some mistake. i only very recently had to make myself lunch
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
not to brag but i grow all my own food myself (i only eat basil)
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@chunkbardey
charlie
8 months
having ppl over is so scary it’s like yeah so this is where i do my thang i guess…
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
hey do you need any help in the kitchen?? please say no please say no please say no
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
some stuff that’s been on my mind recently. feels vulnerable to share stuff like this but whatever, it’s real and it’s honest
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
Driver’s License is obviously a catchy song but every time i hear it i’m like aww babe you’ll get over it
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
checking twitter right before bed and reading five of the most upsetting things i've ever heard in my life. well goodnight
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
Uh Oh: how we spend our days is how we spend our lives
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
comparing myself to others. wish me luck! :)
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
spending 40 dollars is sooo healing. unfortunately it’s also wrong
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
just as the prophesy foretold……..
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
completely in denial that i’m going to have to figure out something to eat for dinner. not making any moves towards a solution at all
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
i can’t believe your best friends can live in different cities than you. i don’t care where your “job” is, come here!!!!!!!!!
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
wearing big shirts is amazing cuz if someone wanted to stab me they wouldn’t even know where i am in here
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
my big flirting tip is to wear something with an unusual texture
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
so fun to hang out in a group of five ppl it’s like ok we’re literally a car
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
dividing 75 by 2 to get 37.5....... awful experience. wouldn’t wish it on anyone
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
my bf is in law school and he’s taking Contract Law so i have him look over contracts for me. but he hasn’t gotten to the part where he learns if a contract is good or not, just whether something IS a contract. so he’ll just be like “yeah that’s a contract”
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
running late. and to make matters worse i’m wearing a stupid outfit
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
there should be an emoji that expresses genuine and true fear
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
cannot stand when a problem can only be solved by time passing. why not a clever tool or a combination of like herbs
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
u guys have no idea the kind of stuff i go through (sleepy etc)
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
very insulting for a fly to buzz around your head. i do not smell that bad and even if i did i don’t deserve this!!!!!
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
well it’s 11am. the day is over
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@chunkbardey
charlie
17 days
my landlord has such a beautiful mind ❤️
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
humiliating to be into furniture. “beautiful table” jesus christ
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
you expect me to get work done ?? in these conditions?? in this world?? where my socks feel weird???
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
it’s so important to speak up when you see the big dipper
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
i’m like not depressed but i’m def a little like . deproinky
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
vacuuming the rug to experience 20 gorgeous minutes of clean rug
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
ppl are like “the president said WHAT” it’s like ok go off w the capacity to still be surprised
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
wait not to be a bitch but literally what does the future hold
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@chunkbardey
charlie
9 months
oh god. oh god this is a huge disaster. ughhhh
@MachinePix
MachinePix
9 months
Mis-calibrated Heartbrand Twister Pineapple popsicle line.
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
heyyyy sorry i couldn’t make it last night. my socks got bunched up weird.
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
having lentil soup for dinner is funny cuz then two hours later it’s like ok so now let’s figure out what’s REALLY for dinner
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
my friend natalie just made an amazing point. she pointed out that “you never know”
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
when someone loses something i like to ask helpful questions like “where did you last see it?” and “where did you put it?” and “where is it?”
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
i get why ppl tweet about making soup. cuz u make soup and ur like wait i have to tell someone about this
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
i’m a pretty resilient person unless something hard is happening
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
u remember a word like bashful and all of a sudden ur like wait im feeling bashful
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@chunkbardey
charlie
4 years
it’s so weird that “brb” and “g2g” aren’t rly a part of texting any more like they were with AIM. like instead of clear temporal boundaries ur now just like constantly a little bit texting until an awkward peter off ????? i miss g2g
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@chunkbardey
charlie
10 months
being single is crazy ur just in ur room like 😐
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@chunkbardey
charlie
1 year
LOVE to pull the string to tell the bus to stop. one of the few things they haven’t turned into an app
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@chunkbardey
charlie
2 years
if u hear me say “cant win em all” just know i’m fighting for my life
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@chunkbardey
charlie
10 months
about to make up a situation in my head. wish me luck!
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
cooking dinner for urself is an amazing opportunity to wash your hands one thousand times
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@chunkbardey
charlie
3 years
so much of the pleasure of having a cat is getting to watch this creature make decisions that will always be at least partially inscrutable to you. it’s such a pleasure, inexhaustibly fascinating because cats can’t speak or explain. like why did you go over there
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