NoelCaslerComedy🌙 @caslernoel Twitter profile

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

25 days

Florida Rant, Vol.1, Trump, GOP & Democracy. Vote Blue.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

1 year

A 9 year-old girl lost her life trying to pull the fire alarm to warn other students in a mass shooting. Yet, a congressmen from her state the very next day said ‘there’s nothing you can do’ and basically said that’s why he home schools his kids. The 9 year old had more bravery.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Trump didn’t seem to care about kids not being in school when they were at Jeffrey Epstein’s house. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

I’m starting to think he’s not gonna show us his tax returns.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Who would thought the guy with 6 bankruptcies, almost 3 divorces, 4000 lawsuits and 26 sexual assault accusations would get impeached twice as POTUS?

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Sue me Trump. I’m the one who worked on the Apprentice and told everyone you snort Adderall all day. You won’t sue me though because you know it’s true. Remember what your buddy Chuck Z brought to the after parties? I do. @realDonaldTrump

Aaron Rupar

@atrupar

4 years

"Somebody oughta sue his ass off" -- Trump on the whistleblower (reminder: the whistleblower's account of Trump's dealings with Ukraine was accurate)

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

When folks talk about American spirit they would do well to look towards the mom in Uvalde, TX who left her job, drove 40 mins, was put in cuffs, got out, hopped a fence, knew exactly what classroom her kids were in, measured the distance of gunshots to safely rescue them…

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Elon sure went from ‘I’m gonna buy twitter to protect free speech’ to ‘I’m gonna sue anybody who talks sh*t about me’ pretty quickly. @elonmusk

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Tiffany Trump just got engaged to a billionaire’s scion who gave her a 1.2 million engagement ring, yet we are paying for her Secret Service protection for the next 6 months.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

WH Press Corp: today is your day to ask about Trump’s drug use. He gave you an opening with his tweet. I was an eye witness to him snorting Adderall. I will testify to this under oath in any courtroom or congressional hearing. Trump is an addict. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

If you stop by my TL to defend Ivanka Trump I will block you. I worked on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ for 6 seasons and was Vanky’s handler. I have witnessed her behavior with her dad since working ‘Miss Teen USA’ in the ‘90’s. She is more dangerous than her father. @IvankaTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Steve Bannon could bury Trump, Kusher, Don Jr. Ivanka, the whole cabal. I hope he flips like a pancake on a griddle. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

If you think the Thomas’ story is bad wait until we find out who paid-off Brett Kavanaugh’s gambling debts.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

I am certain that no matter how much you despise Trump now, it will pale in comparison to your disgust when the truth about his relationship with Epstein comes out. Barr did a lot to keep it hidden but history has a way of revealing the truth. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Pro Tip: when you invade another country and a lady walks up to you and says 'Take these seeds and put them in your pockets so at least sunflowers will grow when you die here' it’s time to go home, fast.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

I’m done revealing stuff about Trump. Appreciate all the follows but only joined in Dec. ‘18 to tell about his Adderall addiction. I’m tired of all the comments about how I should have done more. I don’t think folks realize what they’re up against or how deeply criminal Trump is.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Those folks that took their kids to a mask burning today should let them visit a refrigerated truck stacked with bodies tomorrow just to round out the experience. Maybe let ‘em listen in on a zoom call as someone says goodbye to their loved one before they die alone in a hallway.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

1 year

I like how Elon says 'I'm rich, b*tch' in front of a whole arena and then the next day it comes out he's not even paying the rent for Twitter's offices and wants to renege on severance packages. @elonmusk

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

The guy who let a deadly virus ravage our country for 10 months before he encouraged a deadly riot on the US Capitol is still able the summon the GOP Leader to Mar a Lago. That tells you all you need to know about the Republican Party.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

For the record, Trump hates dogs because they have barked at him his entire life. I've seen highly trained service animals lose their composure in his presence. It freaks him out because they sense the truth. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

I’m old enough to remember when folks who stole classified documents were called spies.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Trump should get the best healthcare that $750 can buy. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

1 year

DO. NOT. BUY. A. TESLA.EVER. BOYCOTT. @elonmusk

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Melania Trump came to this country illegally to work in the adult services business and falsified her immigration visa & that of her parents yet no one in the GOP refers to her as an 'illegal immigrant' @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Right now Trump is screaming into a phone about paying off all of Kavanaugh’s debt for nothing and that Mitch screwed him by making him pick Barrett. Gonna be a long night for the loser and I’m loving it. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Anyone still flying a Trump flag owns this sh*t.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

We should start naming these shootings after the GOP Senators that make them possible. This one should absolutely be named Ted Cruz. @SenTedCruz

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

What Spotify is doing is like a museum getting rid of Rembrandts to make more room for a snack bar.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

I doubt most folks know how deep the Epstein story goes but it shouldn’t end with the only person going to jail for it being the woman who was his recruiter and enabler. She deserves life in prison-no doubt, but don’t let princes & presidents walk free or it keeps happening.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

I watched a couple clips from Trump’s MAGA rally last night, including his F bomb drop. He’s building an army, I do not know how to overstate how dangerous this is for democracy. We’re basically coddling a terrorist at this point.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Shout-out to all the idiots that fell for Trump’s MAGA BS and brought back Polio and Nazis, well done, morons.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Tesla stock falls below 690 as he asks accuser to describe his junk on Twitter. Only in America, folks.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

The fact that Clarence Thomas’s wife was one of the organizers of Jan 6th should be mentioned every time SCOTUS is in the news, IMHO.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

It boggles my mind that a substantial portion of white America thinks Biden is their problem and go out of their way to troll him & his son but don't see a 76 year-old sexual predator who stole classified documents and ran a biz illegally for decades (with his kids) as a threat.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Trump went from ‘Make America Great Again’ to ‘When the Looting starts, the Shooting starts’ in less than four years our country is on fire, 100k are dead from a pandemic and a criminal POTUS stokes the flames of racism and threatens to use the military to kill Americans.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

I was Ivanka’s talent wrangler for the last 3 seasons of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ I’ll share another fun fact since she is trending. She can’t breathe thru her nostrils because Daddy made her get so many nose jobs. That’s why her mouth is always open. @IvankaTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

I wasn’t joking when I said Trump wears Depends, he has for years due to drug induced incontinence & fast food diet. We stopped more than one taping to clean up after ‘accidents’ even Depends are no match for his bodily functions. Crew called it ‘the Sh*t show.’ @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

FYI, The first time I saw Trump snort Adderall was on NBC property-Studio 8h host dressing room. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Dude, you literally rent out the entire 20th floor of Trump Tower to China’s largest bank. Your daughter has more Chinese Patents than she does pairs of shoes and your company borrowed 200m from China. You do more business in China than most Chinese people do. @realDonaldTrump

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

4 years

. @CBS and their show, @60Minutes , are doing everything within their power, which is far less today than it was in the past, to defend China and the horrible Virus pandemic that was inflicted on the USA and the rest of the World. I guess they want to do business in China!

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Trump & the GOP attacked Kathy Griffin for a satirical photo then he pardoned a bunch of sadistic killers that actually murdered people. Now members of the GOP are calling for violence in the streets and the executions of politicians that stand in their way. What did I miss?

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Trump demoted Parscale when he found he was dating Hope Hicks, same thing that happened with Lewandowski and Rob Porter. It wasn't their sheer incompetence that got them canned, it was their virility, Trump was jealous. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

It’s bizarre to watch the GOP turn on Liz Cheney on behalf of a man who was a registered Democrat until 2008 & had Bill & Hillary Clinton at his third wedding. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Gonna be a hell of a resume builder for the GOP, voting twice to not impeach the greatest traitor in US history, well done cowards. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Let me simplify my last tweet for those in the back, a man who was accused of raping a 13 year-old girl in Jeffrey Epstein’s townhouse went on to become President of the United States.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

We are waiting for a guy who hasn’t accepted his own hair loss to accept losing an election. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

The guy who paid $750 in taxes has raised 150m since losing the election while Americans line up at food banks and 35m face eviction. But we did get that one stimulus check for $1200 back in March. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

A 17 year-old kid getting his mom to drive him to a protest so he can murder innocents, then be protected by a MAGA judge and turned into a darling of the GOP who spends his time tolling Biden for a phone call is a perfect encapsulation of how broken this country is right now.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Barr drops charges against 13 Russian hackers, Barr lets Manafort out of prison. Barr raids Sen. Burr who was ready to drop Senate intelligence report saying Russian interfered in ‘16 Election but leaves Sen. Loeffler alone. . These things are all related. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Trump wears lifts in his shoes, a girdle, Depends, a fake tan and a dead ferret on his head while standing like a drunk centaur as he tours the Ford Factory. But he won’t wear a mask because he thinks it would make him look stupid. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

You would think almost 6 months would be enough time for the FBI to find out who removed panic buttons, gave tours, consulted with insurrectionist leaders and even the WH. I get they rounded up some minnows but why no big fish?

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Not sure who dropped a dime to FBI on what classified docs Trump had in his safe at Mar a Lago but Mark my words it went as smoothly as a walk thru a Meadow. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

You are seeing the Trump I saw on Apprentice, full meltdown, I guarantee he will sh*t himself in a rage when this presser is over. He is cracking under the pressure, buckle up America. (I know I quit twitter, but we are in grave danger, 25A now.) @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Jimmy Carter was a Naval Acad Grad, studied nuclear physics and served on ‘Seawolf.’ Bill Clinton was a Yale Law Grad & Rhodes Scholar at Oxford. Barack Obama was President of Harvard Law Review. Trump can pick out an Elephant from a sketch on a good day, maybe. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

I’m so proud of myself for making it thru an entire Trump presidency without saying which one his kids was known for giving public BJ’s. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

I’m just glad Paul McCartney never thought ‘Yesterday’ was a hard word.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Hey, Hey, My, My, Spotify picked the wrong guy.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Trump will never get another loan from a bank most likely, so it's all on you now MAGA to support his lavish lifestyle & his sons coke habit. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

The NYT piece on Trump’s campaign grift is stunning. How is that anything less than fraud? He was literally draining folks bank accounts. He has always been a predator and should be in jail. $122 million in refunds in 2020 alone.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Are we not gonna talk about the sniffing in Trump's Hannity interview or is that my job? @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Bill Barr says NY AG James overreached by bringing Trump's 'children' into the financial fraud case. Which is rich because they're the same age as Barr's daughter Mary who helped cover up Trump's crimes at the Treasury Dept. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

We’ve still never seen Trump’s school records, medical records or tax returns, but we have sure seen the results of not seeing them. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Y’all acting like you’ve never seen a 76 year-old drug-addicted, twice impeached ex-POTUS insurrectionist steal top secret nuclear docs and keep them at his Palm Beach club where his super venal cocaine-head son had access to them before. Hunter who? Kiss my ass, MAGA. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

The fact that a VP’s life was in danger because the POTUS was gonna ‘turn against him’ on Jan 6th and Secret Service had to be notified to increase security would be staggering news in an actual functioning democracy.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Anytime the GOP talks about unity remind them that the head of their party fired the Chief Usher of the White House the morning of the Inauguration so there would be nobody around to help the Biden’s.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Shortest Trump tell-all book ever, by Noel Casler: Trump is a drug addict who snorts Adderral. He is incontinent from this drug use. He hates and abuses women. He is a mob money launderer. His adult kids are in on it. The End. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

1 year

Tiffany Trump's wedding tonight has all the hallmarks of a season finale.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

5 years

Former Apprentice Staffer Noel Casler Accuses Donald Trump of Drug Use and Inappropriate Behavior via @people

Former Apprentice Staffer Noel Casler Accuses Donald Trump of Drug Use and Inappropriate Behavior

A comedian and former Celebrity Apprentice staffer has accused Donald Trump of recreational drug use

people.com

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

I’m gonna tell you a Trump family secret. His kids know he is batsh*t crazy and on drugs. Ivanka makes jokes about it behind the scenes & the fact he can’t read. Don Jr. hates Ivanka, none of them talk to Tiffany and Don thinks Eric is too ugly to put on TV. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Trump met Putin 5x as POTUS, & each time he kept what was said a secret. During his campaign in '16 he sought & received Russia's help, his son in law set-up backchannels w/Kremlin. When he left office he stole top secret docs & Putin invaded Ukraine. Probably all a coincidence.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

If you try to bring a gun onto the floor of the US Congress, you should no longer be a member of the US Congress.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

I'm 51, I loved President Carter as a kid, voted in my first election for President Clinton and President Obama is basically my hero. That all being said, I can't think of a POTUS in my lifetime that has accomplished more than President Biden in his first two years. Vote Blue.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

I’ve seen how dogs react to Trump. They always start barking, even trained service dogs. It’s why he hates them. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Jonathan Swan to Chris Wallace: 'That's not a knife. This is a knife.' @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Trump reacts to the WAPO story this morning describing him as a mad king by going on Fox News and proving it’s true. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

What you hear in this remarkable tape is not an anomaly but how Trump has spoken to people for the last 50 years. A lot of effort when into the fact that this tape is one of the first times you’re actually hearing a typical Trump transaction. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Marjorie Taylor Greene harassing David Hogg weeks after the Parkland shooting is reprehensible. PTSD has shown up in first responders after these events. To attack a student who was literally inside of the school should be cause for immediate arrest. It’s assault. @mtgreenee

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Today’s news that the FBI turned some of the 4500(!) tips about Kavanaugh over to the WH puts Trump’s comments that he ‘Saved his life’ in a new light doesn’t it?

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

I like how Kevin McCarthy & the rest of the GOP feigns outrage when saying the 'FBI raided Trump's home' it's a freaking 126-room, 62,500-square-foot mansion that allows the public to buy memberships. It's not a home, it's an espionage fulfillment center. @GOP

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

1 year

I’m gonna tell MAGA a secret. Trump didn’t make it down to the Oval Office everyday until noon. They called it ‘executive time’ what it was is Adderall induced infirmity. He was unmanageable on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ and required a man servant (Schiller) to change his f’n diaper.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Just drove past Trump International Hotel, NYPD has the block closed off in front of it on CPW to protect his property and discourage protests. If only we had applied the same security to the US Capitol.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Trump hasn’t tweeted in a day, that shady MF is up to something. Let’s make 2021 the year we hold accountable those in his party that allowed his criminality to fester. They are a rot and a stain on this nation’s soul. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Trump thinks wearing a mask makes him look weak but he’s totally fine with wearing a dead ferret on his head, a spray tan, a girdle, lifts in his shoes, a ladies watch and Depends so he can soil himself at leisure. Go figure? @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Imagine hiding in the bunker of the WH right now, fires burning across the street. Protests in every major city during a pandemic that killed 105k Americans with the worst economy since the Great Depression and thinking you were gonna get re-elected. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

What do a Tulsa Trump Rally and a Trump wife have in common? Nobody comes. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

P.S, Angeli Gomez is her name and if you’re looking for future elected officials in Uvalde, TX, you couldn’t do better IMHO. That’s the mettle real leaders are made of. Forget the cartoon characters in cowboy hats.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

1 year

If I get kicked off of Twitter I want to say my peace first: all that truly matters in this life is feeding & protecting other people, animals & the planet they live on. Everything else is just fools game and a waste of a trip that for all of us is over in the blink of an eye.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

The fact that Trump would call a 1pm press conf on a national holiday meant to honor working men and women, tells you all you need to know about a man who has never seen a day of labor in his life. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

called out the cops for cowardice; was threatened w/probation violation for talking to press, did so anyway, from her difficult & skilled job that puts food on all of our tables as a farm worker, and then went back to work. Fearless, brave, hard working and patriotic. Bravo.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

I did not have Matt Gaetz tries, not once, but twice, to throw Tucker Carlson under the bus with sex trafficking scandal on live TV on my 2021 bingo card but I’ll take it. @mattgaetz

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

I’m glad that the media is giving the focus Trump’s tax returns deserve. He is imminently corrupt in his financial dealings, but I wish his decades of sexual assaults were given the same investigation and attention. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Mark Burnett knew Trump was broke, production had to rent office furniture to make him look wealthy on season one of ‘Apprentice’ because Trump Org office was so ratty. All the kids would ask for per diems on set, not your typical billionaire moves. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

If Trump refuses to leave office, I say we send the guy from Portland in the Navy sweatshirt to carry him out. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

In his last year in office, Trump was impeached twice, hid CDC data that led to over 500k deaths in USA, conspired to overturn election results and organized a violent attack of the US Capitol & he is STILL the GOP’s ‘man’ for 2024.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Funny how no one who has ever worked with Trump writes a book with anything nice to say about him. And they all paint the same picture. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

If you can’t handle ‘60 Minutes’ you can’t handle 4 more years. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Listen folks, Melania is cold as f*cking ice in person. She hates Trump and his kids almost as much as she hates minorities. You have know idea how dangerous she is and the true nature of why she is in the WH. @FLOTUS

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Trump attempting to pardon Allen Weisselberg is basically an admission he’s been running a corrupt organization for the last 40 years. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

3 years

Kelly Loeffler and her husband are worth 800 million and she is applying for a job that pays 174k per year. She was appointed by Brian Kemp who was just called ‘hapless’ by Trump. She profited from COVID. There have never been more reasons not to send someone to the US Senate.

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

Trump hung out with Jeffrey Epstein because he likes to f*ck 13 year-old girls. That part is not up for debate, and it’s why Trump joked about Jeffrey ‘liking very young girls’ Don has hid his decades long involvement with Epstein thru NDA’s & finally Bill Barr. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

4 years

I’m so tired of watching a known sex-offender verbally attack women every night and trigger countless thousands of others at home. The women are very good at standing up to him. I’m waiting for a man to stand up to him at one of these pressers and tell him off. @realDonaldTrump

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NoelCaslerComedy🌙

@caslernoel

2 years

Paul Gosar’s own siblings have repeatedly spoken out and warned us that he is an extremist. Six of them, if six people tell you their own damn brother is dangerous believe them. At the very least get him off of twitter. @TwitterSafety

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