jxke. 🧸 @cantguardjake Twitter profile

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

New apartment, rate the setup (dudes only)

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

1 month

LeBron could never

The Spectator Index

@spectatorindex

1 month

BREAKING: Jordan says it is ready to shoot down any drones that violate its airspace

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

1 month

Undoubtedly one of the five funniest things anyone has ever said

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Holy. Shit.

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@cantguardjake

1 month

“You can’t stare into the sun during an eclipse”

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 months

POV: You are a beer in my fridge at 5:01 PM EST today

Skip Bayless

@RealSkipBayless

2 months

I can’t lose in these shoes. MJ FOREVER. #DripBayless

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@cantguardjake

2 months

this is what NIL was supposed to be

Jack Gohlke

@jgohlke34

2 months

Sent the game to overtime so that meant more great times @bwwings AND six free boneless wings. This March Madness, order using Blazin' Rewards before the last game of the day goes into overtime to receive the offer #OvertimeDeal #NIL #sponsored

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 months

no toast is insanity

Cox

@Saucy_Jenkins

2 months

The European mind cannot comprehend this

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@cantguardjake

2 months

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 months

going Shohei Ohtani mode at happy hour today (getting so drunk only one guy can understand me so I ask him to place all my march madness bets for me)

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 months

i woulda parked that bbq chicken fastball 375 dead center

Prep Baseball Ontario

@PrepBaseballON

7 years

2020 6'11 RHP Zachry Edey FB: 74-76 CH: 68-71 #FGT2017

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

We’re listening. We’re learning. We’re improving. (Elevated the TV and DoorDashed some grub)

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

Per requests I have hooked up the PS5

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

I’m on Soto’s side

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

28 days

ESPN is actively using their power as a “news source” to take your money

Action Network

@ActionNetworkHQ

28 days

The Chargers have moved from +1500 to +600 to draft a quarterback in the last 24 hours @ESPNBet 🤔

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 months

@RealSkipBayless Very important comma

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

I’m sobbing

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

1 month

@darmstadiym @ShabazzStuart nothing gets past you huh

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

Todd Kubecka

@Takubecka

3 months

@cantguardjake Going to need to see the refrigerator before answering

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

lets all take a moment to remember the greatest highlight of Matt Ryan’s career

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

People were genuinely debating if Freddie Freeman was going to be booed in his return to Atlanta on this app last week. He got such a warm reception he fired his agent

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

since y’all keep asking here is the bed (i swear I have a frame it’s still in the box)

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

Max Fried facing Joc Pederson tonight

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

Raisel Iglesias is not talked about enough as one of the greatest trade deadline steals in recent memory

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

@TheActMan_YT Remember when he faked his girlfriend’s death for views without telling her parents. Or when he pretended to get robbed. What a guy

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

HANG THE BANNER BOYS

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

No choice but to give Joc a lifetime extension @yungjoc650

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

26 days

goodnight y’all

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

1 year

Adult man with a fathead in the bedroom is crazy. No way I’m about to be gettin down to business to look up and make eye contact with Mike Trout

Jomboy Media

@JomboyMedia

1 year

Bro is emotional

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 months

Desmond Ridder better trade market than Justin Fields?

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

1 year

I know that tree in the middle has taken a few souls

Jomboy Media

@JomboyMedia

1 year

This backyard football field is incredible @JomboyMediaFB

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@cantguardjake

3 years

Kinda wild Joc Pederson wakes up on October 1st and is just like “alright time to be the best player in all of baseball”

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

so in the past 10 minutes: - The Braves trade Will Smith for Jake Odorizzi - The Braves trade for Robbie Grossman - The Braves are reportedly in on Syndergaard Wake up the kids. Alex Anthopoulos is cooking

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Ken Rosenthal just said he expects the Braves to release Marcell Ozuna after the legal process plays out.

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

I will be watching Vaughn Grissom throw his bat to Saturn for the rest of the night

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

TL Cleanse

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

13 flags for the 13 lives lost over the past week. The @Braves are a first class organization. Thank you

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 months

I stand with Waffle House employees

Union of Southern Service Workers

@RaiseUptheSouth

2 months

TODAY: @WaffleHouse workers are on STRIKE in Atlanta to demand an end to their mandatory meal deduction policy. Deducting $3 from our pay every shift, regardless of whether we eat, is unjust. We are calling on @USDOL to investigate. #UnionsForAll

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Top five Braves personality dead or alive. Living legend

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

The Braves just gave Spencer Strider a six-year, $75 million extension on a random Monday in October. I absolutely adore this franchise

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

Adam Duvall has been tendered. He will be a Brave in 2022, barring a trade.

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

For maybe one last time, BIG 🐓 JOC

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

the main reason the Falcons should not trade Julio Jones is because he is my favorite player and it would make me sad

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

When she tells you to go lock the door

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

@ReggieChatman dawg that is some next level trash talk

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

I remember exactly where I was sitting when Justin Upton, Craig Kimbrel, and Jason Heyward were traded. I wish I could pat my younger self on the back and tell him what was coming.

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

I took some more feedback from you guys and cleaned up the cables, moved the chair back, got some coolers on a side table, and got a footstand. let me know what you think

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

happy worst day of our lives to those who observe

Atlanta Falcons

@AtlantaFalcons

7 years

15 minutes away.... #RiseUp

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Last thing I got on Deshaun Watson for now:

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Best video of the night

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@cantguardjake

2 months

Can’t spell Phillies without back to back Ls

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@cantguardjake

1 year

saying TCU “didn’t deserve to be there” is so insane considering they won a playoff game to get there lmao

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Two years, $18 million for Eddie Rosario with a club option. The Braves are crushing this offseason, and I don’t think they’re done

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

Alex Anthopoulos just locked up an All Star who has multiple Gold Gloves with 40+ home run potential for eight years and $21 million AAV. Respect my General Manager. That man is a DON.

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@cantguardjake

3 years

Ronald Acuña Jr. A man of the people

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Bringing back Jorge Soler has to be a top priority now. That’s a lineup no team in baseball wants to face

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@cantguardjake

1 year

It really doesn’t get talked about a lot, but Jamie Newman opting out in 2020 might be the biggest butterfly effect in Georgia Football history

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@cantguardjake

1 year

Between Sean Murphy and Austin Riley this team has the most ass in baseball by a mile

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@cantguardjake

2 years

If Julio goes to Tampa with Tom Brady and Deshaun goes to the Saints y’all can keep the NFL next year

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@cantguardjake

2 years

I miss this man so much

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@cantguardjake

3 years

Braves lose this game without Joc Pederson and Eddie Rosario. The trade deadline acquisitions pull through again

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@cantguardjake

3 years

if matt ryan gets sacked more than five times Sunday I’m calling OSHA on the Falcons

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 years

Max Fried dropped this on his Instagram today. 162-0

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@cantguardjake

2 years

When are y’all gonna learn “F*ck Trae Young” is a horrible idea?

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Professor asked why I have a pearl necklace on today…

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@cantguardjake

2 years

I am ready to watch Ronald Acuña Jr baptize baseballs again

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@cantguardjake

2 years

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@cantguardjake

2 years

if the Falcons trade for Matt Olson & Deshaun Watson while saying goodbye to Freddie Freeman & Matt Ryan within 48 hours I will officially declare this the nuttiest two days in Atlanta sports history

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

3 months

ratings are no longer dudes only, i’m sorry, I didn’t expect this many people to see my living room

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Your team’s QB isn’t doing this

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@cantguardjake

11 months

CBS Sports MLB

@CBSSportsMLB

11 months

Angels' pending free agent superstar Shohei Ohtani really wants to play for a winner: 'It sucks to lose'

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@cantguardjake

2 years

The last time we saw your Opening Day starter. DAWG

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@cantguardjake

2 years

FIRST DADDY HACK FOR VAUGHN GRISSOM WITH THE BAT FLIP TO TOP IT OFF

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Travis Demeritte cannot go back to AAA, sorry.

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@cantguardjake

7 months

Going from Mariota to Ridder

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Goodnight if your favorite baseball team has won 13 games in a row this year

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@cantguardjake

3 years

Tony La Russa saying Yermin Mercedes was disrespectful to baseball just months after he tried to get out of a DUI by flashing his World Series ring almost makes me dizzy from the irony

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Good Morning. Travis d’Arnaud came back from a broken bone and hit two home runs during the World Series. Positive vibes for Ozzie

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@cantguardjake

2 years

One more week.

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@cantguardjake

2 years

9 batters. 8 Strikeouts. No Hits. No Walks. Welcome back, kid. Hope we see you in Truist soon.

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@cantguardjake

3 years

falcons would go 20-0 in these

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@cantguardjake

3 years

I want Rob Manfred to hand over the trophy at Truist Park. I need it.

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@cantguardjake

2 years

15 years ago. Still one of the greatest coaching tactics of all time

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@cantguardjake

2 years

This is the straightest home run I’ve ever seen

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@cantguardjake

2 years

TRAVON WALKER WITH A SACK, PICK, & FORCED FUMBLE IN HIS FIRST NFL GAME PUT SOME RESPECT ON MY NUMBER 1 PICK

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Austin Riley is FINALLY a National League All Star!

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@cantguardjake

2 years

The Falcons are meeting with Deshaun Watson tomorrow.

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@cantguardjake

3 years

bad sports town by the way

Front Office Sports

@FOS

3 years

Braves fans were ready 🏆 Atlanta sold more merch in the 30 minutes after winning the World Series than any other MLB champion in Fanatics history, per @novy_williams .

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Forget baseball, Alex Anthopoulos may be the best GM in all of sports

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Matt Olson is slashing .538/.625/.923/1.548 with two doubles, a home run, and three walks in his first series as a Brave

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@cantguardjake

2 years

@BarstoolBigCat if you don’t like it make your own ranking

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@cantguardjake

3 years

This is the greatest take of Colin Cowherd’s entire life

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

Well, the Falcons could be looking at about $110 million in cap space next offseason. Been a real long time since they’ve been able to say that

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

I haven’t had much time for opinions in a whirlwind day but Matt Ryan is a true professional and the most accomplished player the Falcons have ever had… kinda sucks this all happened so quickly. I’m going to miss him dearly and I hope he lands somewhere he can contend

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@cantguardjake

2 years

Joc Pederson starting in the All Star Game does make me very happy. Can’t wait til he’s a Brave again at the end of July

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jxke. 🧸

@cantguardjake

2 years

Trae Young is better than your favorite point guard sadly

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@cantguardjake

3 years

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@cantguardjake

3 months

@BWWings Thank you BDubs

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@cantguardjake

1 year

I feel like I say this every year but the CFP National Championship should be in 4 places and 4 places only: - Atlanta - New Orleans - Miami - Dallas No team from California will ever be participating so why waste our time. I can’t even get a flight to the game.

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