lilith 💕 @butistillwantit Twitter profile | Pikagi

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lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

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fic writer 🔞 | 28 | 🐰🐥 and 🐻🐥 | no translations/reposts |

lilithbts @ ao3

https://t.co/pA0TGXrQM7

Joined November 2019

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

💭🔞 thinking of virgin straight boys jm and jk who are best friends and always talk about sex openly and crudely. they joke about their dicks, fantasize about stuff they'd do to girls when they have the chance, send each other porn. they're always horny and sexually frustrated +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

y'all keep talking about alpha dom jk but i present to you the most alphaest, sexiest, hottest, most protective thing jungkook has ever done. calling out his hyungs with /that tone/ when they were making fun of jimin's 'i'm sorry' at the un.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

2 months

💭🔞 super shy alpha jk just started college and is having a very hard time because the prettiest omega with the sexiest scent keeps sitting near him in class. it wouldn't be a huge deal if jk didn't have a serious endocrine dysfunction that randomly triggers a short-term rut.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

5 months

💭🔞 tiptoeing ♡ jikook ♡ canon compliant, smut, pwp, bros being bros jk could've never known that just a few words would cause such a shift in his extremely close friendship with his bandmate jm. those words being: "hyung, if it's just the tip... it's not gay, right?".

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

2 months

💭🔞thinking of spoiled alpha crown prince jk having a hate boner for one of his father’s servants, jm, an omega. ever since they were teens, and even before presenting, jk has felt weird tingly things in his loins when looking at the other boy. he deals with it very badly.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

3 months

guys i need fics where jk is super jealous, and there's pining and angst. could be canon compliant or not. any suggestions? 🥺

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+long he stays frozen on the same spot, weighed down by his insecurities and a hefty dose of despair. he stares at his feet, seeing them become blurrier by the second. there's nothing more he can do. soon jm will be yg's and their friendship will change forever. jk has lost.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

11 months

"dry" humping scene from the bros fic (on my pinned) jm's pov 👀🔞 1/2

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

2 months

he’ll probably have to transfer to another university, even... tears sting the corners of jk’s eyes as he runs and runs and runs. he’s never been more scared of what tomorrow will bring.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+them to lay on their sides. they haven't cuddled in a long time and jk feels a sense of bliss wash over him when he wraps himself around jm's body. his eyelids get heavy and in no time he's asleep. everything feels good. everything feels right.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

⚠️cw: very dubious consent, manipulation, obsessive/toxic relationships 💭🔞thinking of a harry potter setting dark fic where jk has been in love with jm since they first met at the hogwarts express. jk hoped to get sorted into the same house as jm because he was just too cute.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+he needs to get away. he needs to run or he'll lose his mind. there is no way he can handle this sadness, this rage, this disgust, this confusion. jk doesn't want to look at what's broken. and perhaps this is cowardice. but he can't stay in this house for one second more.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+absolutely sure he's forgiven him. until he sees his beautiful smile and the melodious giggles that melt all jk's sorrows away. just as he feared, jk knows he won't be able to breathe until jm is back in his arms again.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

and straight bros fic jkookie. hot nerd, silly virgin, gay panicked 24/7. always appalled jm knows and speaks to other men that aren't him 🤭

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+jk cleans himself and gets in bed again, trying to fall asleep and calm himself down with these thoughts. little does he know he's only going to get worse. that try as he might, jm as become a permanent resident in his confused, distressed mind.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

i give you straight bros fic jm. natural beauty, boy next door with a dazzling smile, beautiful glowy skin, rosy cheeks and a killer body 😵‍💫😩 how could jk resist him? 🫠

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+had gotten up again. his friend is holding his aching erection tightly over his sweatpants, trying to relieve some pressure, surely. jm had clearly gotten intensely turned on from doing /that/ to jk and seeing jk like /this/. oh god... oh fuck... /what the hell was that?!/

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ like it. jk hopes so. he really does. right now he just wants to fucking practice thrusting and rolling his hips and grinding and humping with his best friend. and that's exactly what he is going to do.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

3 months

at least, he knows haeun is open-minded and even has a gay best friend. so jk breathes in very, very deeply. he swallows the knot in his throat, wipes his teary eyes with the back of his hands and nods. “yeah… i wanna talk about it…”

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

4 months

'tiptoeing' ♡ jikook ♡ explicit 🔞 ♡ one-shot, 13k ♡ canon compliant, pwp, smut, bros experimenting, just the tip, happy ending ♡ gorgeous mb by @ChaparralSpirit 🔗 #jikook #jikookau

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+he kind of wants to say something funny again to break the heavy tension, like "have a taste of my salami". but then jm suddenly bends down and brings jk's cock to his lips and he thinks he's never going to be the same ever again when his tongue darts out to lick at the tip.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

5 months

so what should he do? how can he reconcile these polar opposites? how can he keep his pride as a straight guy but still get some new kind of pleasure? jk quickly improvises. he's always been good at thinking on his feet. "hyung, if it's just the tip... it's not gay, right?"

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ they can't seem to get lucky yet because they're on the nerdy and shy side, but jk tells jm there’s a girl he likes and seems to like him back but she’s older and appears to have sexual experience so jk is very scared of making a fool out of himself if they ever get intimate. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+he blinks in disbelief and frowns deeply at the cum splattered on the floor. yeah, he should be concerned. very much so. jk has officially boarded the crazy train and there's no way back. he's just going off the rails at this point.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

3 months

i- i-.......... i may actually have enough to update the bros fic today???? who am i? what kind of alternative reality is this???? 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+perhaps have an auditory hallucination? because there's no way yg is... there's no way he heard the words "breaking up with /him/". right? "hyung...?" jk starts slowly. "yeah?" jm seems fidgety somehow. "is yg-hyung gay?!"

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+"you're already doing that." "well, /i'm/ touching myself. but what if i tried to last while someone else touched me, first?" "where are you getting at, jk-ah?" jm frowns, confused. "hyung, what if we jerked each other off, to practice our endurance better?"

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+"hyung, hurry up in there i wanna finish what i started!" he calls out to jm, a smirk in his voice. "ughhh!" is the response, a simple disgruntled groan. jk bites back a chuckle and lays in bed, stroking himself slowly. feels good to have a hyung to play around like this.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+softly and laying on his side. and if this was any other day maybe jk would cuddle him a bit. they've always been cuddlers. but not tonight. tonight jk makes sure he's getting in bed as carefully as possible. tonight no part of him touches jm anymore.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

10 months

ermmm???? hello???? 💦💦💦

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+whips out his phone and taps quickly on the first message. 'jk-ah, is your date over yet? come over and tell me about it if you want!' jk smiles. so jm is really interested in knowing what went on. and jk is fully intending on telling him every single detail.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ they're both at jk's house for a sleepover, they tend to have many of those where they talk and laugh until they pass out, sometimes they get drunk too. they're tipsy from some soju shots they had, both only wearing tight boxers because jk's room is stuffy and hot +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

'cashmere and chocolate' ♡ jikook ♡ explicit 🔞 ♡ written for @kmsecretsanta ♡ one-shot, 13k ♡ a/b/o, alpha jk, omega jm ♡ fluff and smut, neighbors, sexual tension 🔗 #jikook #jikookau

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lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

5 months

but at least they don’t have to keep tiptoeing around their feelings anymore. they don’t have to erase and justify something so natural and deep. this is them. and they are bound together in the truest sense of the word.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

little teaser for the bros thread is not so little 👀 jk wakes up very naked and hugging jm and realizations ensue 😱🤯

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

5 months

but jk doesn't. he sighs and doesn't even make a move to clean himself. he's content, that itch under his skin finally under control. at least for now.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ "you're right, it's not big. it's fucking /gargantuan/!" jm laughs again and gets up from the bed swaying a little on the spot. jk is about to make fun of him for already being drunk when his friend suddenly reaches forward and roughly yanks the waistband of jk's boxers down.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

11 months

2/2

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ jm's hair is still wet from his recent shower as he settles himself on jk's bed and the other boy paces back and forth. "hyung, you have no idea, haeun-noona is so hot. i really want her to stroke my python, fuck!" jm sputters, cackling loudly at jk's words. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ jm fakes indignation but still laughs good-naturedly. he's pretty confident in his size so he never gets too worked up with this kind of talk. "i think you're overcompensating, jk-ah. there's no way someone that calls their dick vlad the impaler actually has a big one." +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ "yah, you're always bragging about it being huge. i bet it's not even that big! there's not that much volume in your bulge, man." jm taunts. "hey, fuck you! i'm very well endowed, thank you very much. the same can't be said about that baby carrot between your legs!" +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

8 months

hey! i've decided to write the bros fic until the end before i start posting again so hang in there y'all! it might take a while but at least when i'm done with it it'll be a finished work 🥺

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ jk likes seeing him laugh like that. jm always cracks up when jk calls his dick silly names. "what are you laughing about, you know she'd be lucky to become acquainted with my king dong!" jk drawls, the alcohol clearly starting to affect him. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ he impulsively turns back around, strides towards jm and aggressively pulls his black ck boxers down, letting his cock spring free. jk watches with undiluted satisfaction as his friend's expression shifts from mirth to pure surprise, lips parting. jm goes a little cross-eyed +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ "i'm a grower not a shower, moron!" "yeah, right! just give it up, jk-ah!" "nah, fuck this, man. i'm gonna fucking show it to you." jk is beyond affronted. without much thought, he turns around and shoves his hand down the front of his boxers and grabs his cock. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ staring at jk's impressive size from so up close. jk knows he looks huge when fully hard. his cock is thick and heavy, reddened at the tip, curving upwards, it looks intimidating as he points it straight at jm's face. "admit it's big." he commands, half joking half serious. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+"wtf are you doing?!" jm squeaks with laughter. "are you fucking jerking off, you weirdo??" jk just grunts, his hand squeezing his now half hard length as it moves fast and rough. it's quick, maybe a little too quick, the way jk's erection becomes rock hard and solid. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

the hours seem to drag on endlessly and the emptiness jk feels only gets worse. he alternates between pacing around the house, anxious, desperate, holding back tears and lying in bed in a lethargic state. the anguish he feels keeps swelling with every minute he's away from jm,+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ jk's eyes widen as he watches his soft cock bounce pathetically out of his boxers. "hey! you asshole!!" outraged, he pushes jm back onto the bed and quickly tucks himself away again. jm falls back in a fit of uncontrolled giggles, rolling on the bed with laughter. +

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lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

3 months

so he’ll have to suck it up. for jm. everything for jm. he’ll endure it for him, he’ll control himself for him, he’ll be mature and reliable. everything will be fine and he won’t let his jealousy get the best of him. not at all.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ "see?! i told you it's not even that big!! that's a normal cock! ahahahahaaha!!" jk feels all his blood rush to his cheeks, humiliation starting to make him a little irrational. he's very proud of his dick, and jm is really breaking his balls for no fucking reason right now! +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+picturing me as someone else. as a woman. maybe it sounds stupid, but i'd like to lose my virginity with someone who has feelings for me and that i also have feelings for." oh. that... it hurts. why did these words hurt so much, why did they slash directly at the center of+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

"i'm not doing that, that's so fucking gay!" jm shouts, scandalized. jk knows he's not going to do it, but he's feeling playful. so he tugs again on jm's legs and gets a hard kick to the chest, as jm squirms and fights like he's hiding something. "shit! that hurt!" +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+he just wants to go to bed and not dwell on the details. tomorrow he'll think about why that particular thought and visual made him feel that way. tomorrow he'll try to figure out why they chased their highs like that. yeah, jk will just think about it tomorrow. (again).

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 month

you’re well bred.” jk blushes profusely while he cleans himself up and then disappears out of the library in a hurry, keeping his head down the entire way to the door.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ he tucks himself away and bends down to where jm is sitting with his knees pulled to his chest. he pulls one of his friend's legs but he immediately offers him resistance. a lot of it. "aish, the fuck are you doing?" "come on, get yourself hard and let's compare dicks!" +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ jm seems to snap out of it and stops looking at jk's cock, pulling back with a scoff. "yeah, alright dude. it's kinda big, yeah. but i've seen guys in porn with much bigger." jm rolls his eyes. "oh yeah? and what about you? let's see yours, come on!" jk mocks. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ playful, risqué, kind of over the top thing they did that just increased their closeness and the stuff they share with each other. when they lay in bed side by side to go to sleep, as usual, jk feels as if he can just let go of his worries. they're alright. this is fine.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+of an eye. his head is still hazy, clouded with want and desire. but then- "you know-you know who likes me? it's yg-hyung. yg-hyung told me he wants to try being with me if i give him a chance." jm says, voice emotionless even if his eyes are scrutinizing jk's every reaction.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+"well you're being fucking weird!" jm screams as he zips to the bathroom closing the door with a loud bang. jk finds his reaction sort of over the top but his drunken mind doesn't let him dwell on it. he looks down, realizes he's still super hard and sighs, squeezing his tip.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+"i'll be waiting, park." jk replies with fake seriousness. "'kay good night. you can assume your lame starfish position i'm just gonna roll over to the other side." "g'night hyung." jk whispers, a smile still on his lips. he's so content and relaxed jk falls asleep instantly.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

2 months

jk's first episode had been one of his worst ones. he was still in 11th grade and felt extremely confused by what was happening to his body. luckily, he was at home when he presented as an alpha, but presenting quickly turned into living hell as it triggered a short-term rut.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+judging by the way he immediately starts dancing to the rhythm perfectly and mouths the lyrics, letting his eyes fall close. something about being lost in the lights and out of one's mind. and maybe jk feels exactly like that... he feels lost and drunk on what he's seeing,+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

when jk arrived, grandma was worried, as expected. jk was supposed to visit her along with his parents in 5 days and spend 2 weeks there. but he called her in a state of anxiety that had his grandmother asking what had happened and jk not being able to explain exactly what+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

warmth. it’s all jk can feel when he starts waking up. it should be hot and uncomfortable but it’s not. his eyes are still glued shut, his mind sluggish as he becomes vaguely aware he has a headache. but the warmth soothes him. he’s pressed up against smooth skin, almost from+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+he wants jm only for himself. he doesn't want him to kiss anyone else, he doesn't want him to think of anybody but him. "more tongue." he breathes out, voice rough. jm complies immediately and jk sucks on his tongue filthily which elicits a breathy moan from his friend.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

apparently jm has crush, too. jk has gone to see one of jm's hip hop dancing practices and there's this new girl that joined the group a few weeks ago and that jm had already mentioned a couple of times, saying she was cute and a really good dancer. well, jk can totally+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

5 months

corner of his lips. jk’s heart accelerates the more he stays fixed on jm’s face, so he looks away. tomorrow they’ll continue their experiments. tomorrow jk will bury himself deeper into whatever is going on between him and jm. tomorrow. tomorrow will be fucking great.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+the constant need to be around him, the fear of looking too deep into his own heart, the denial, the crave for intimacy, the escalating sexual desire, the violent jealousy... jk has /feelings/. a whole lot of them. finally getting to this conclusion doesn't soothe him though.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

studying for a bunch of final exams while actively trying to avoid thinking of a ton of shit that confuses the hell out of him has been taking its toll on jk. he sleeps badly and his concentration is rubbish, which in turn makes him more anxious all of it will impact his grades.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

four more days go by and jk's parents arrive in the meantime. grandma's house gets louder and brighter and jk is glad to spend time with his family. he goes to the beach, helps mom and grandma make a huge batch of kimchi, paints some more, hangs out with dad at the end of the+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+spare me the bullshit, jk-ah." yg laughs derisively. "you know, i don't like you. but i respect that you're jmnie's best friend so i'm laying this out real simple for you. i like him. i think he's fucking hot and an incredible person with a heart of gold. people like him are+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

ta-daaa! another nice dose of angst cause let's face it, our boy had it comin'. now he needs to confront himself with some more /stuff/ before we get our jikook happy ending! anyway hope you liked it and let me know your thoughts in the quotes and my cc!

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+to be with a man in a more serious way, if you can't accept me for who i truly am... then i don't think this friendship makes sense and i don't want you in my life. we should each go our own way and not contact each other. don't call me anymore.'+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ "okay, don't be so grumpy, hyung-nim. you know i like playing around with you." jk pouts, tickling jm under the chin as they're laying on their sides, facing each other. "gonna get my payback for this one though, jeon. just you wait." jm says with narrowed eyes. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

straight bros fic yg! talented music producer, promising underground rapper and general badass. jk-hater but it's mutual. gummy smiles reserved only for pjm 🥺

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+arms over his chest and cocks an eyebrow, squaring up his shoulders to make himself look bigger. "so?" "so..." another drag, another cloud of smoke. "i'm here to tell you don't really deserve him. you're a kid and you haven't figured yourself out. you'll hurt him. you already+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

5 months

and even if jk ached for something more, he goes along with this. it’s easier and safer. jm is warm and pliant and comfy and soft. they don’t talk, they don’t clean. they just sleep. and jk will think about this tightness in his chest another time.

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+"and what if i do? huh? what if i tell you i /only/ like men?! what if i do have feelings for him? do you have a fucking problem with it?!" jm raises his voice, gets up and squares his shoulders.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

it's so smooth and hot against his sensitive cockhead and it makes all jk's blood rush south at a stunning speed. he inhales harshly and suppresses what was going to be a shameful sound, for sure. lips pressed tightly together and eyes firmly shut, jk scolds himself to get it+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+breaking down again. yg flicks the cigarette butt onto the sidewalk and steps on it firmly, like he's stomping on jk's pride. "good." he exhales the last puff of smoke, turns away and gets back inside the building, completely indifferent to jk's distress.jk doesn't know how+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+jk like what he's just said means something, before he presses on. "i wanna see where this can go. if he wants to, i’ll date him, i’ll commit to him. i've known he was gay since i met him, been waiting for him to stop fooling himself and get his head in order for a while.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ not that jm is small in the dick-department by any means, but jk still feels glad his own cock is longer and thicker. their size difference shows not only in their height and stature but in their cocks as well and jk likes that a lot for some reason. +

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+impossibly close. without realizing, jk starts walking forward, pushing jm back towards the bed. he goes easily and then they're both falling onto the mattress, kissing as they lay on their sides, pulling at each other's bodies. jk is greedy. he's greedy and in this moment+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

burn together ♡ jikook ♡ explicit 🔞 ♡ written for @deaddovekm ♡ completed, 59k ♡⚠️dead dove, non-con, horror, heavy angst, childhood trauma, step-brothers jikook, smut, hopeful ending ♡ perfect mb by @gcfonthemoon 🔗 #jikookau #jikook

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lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+if i get with him, you'll still be his friend, of course but all that sleepover shit and getting your hands all over each other needs to fucking stop, even if we have something open and casual. jk flushes violently. who does yg think he is?! a part of jk knows what he's saying+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+stupid... i'm the one that fucked up and you're the one comforting me." he huffs an incredulous, watery laugh. "you're just a big baby." jm giggles, lightly pushing jk's shoulder. "'m a big baby..." jk agrees, even blushing a little and drying the rest of his tears with his+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+don't really care how you lose your virginity. it doesn't matter to you at all, right? but it matters to me. you think i'd want to have my first time with /you/?" jm laughs dryly and relaxes his expression, but it's all wrong. "i wouldn't want to do that with someone who's+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+hard to come by. so what i'm saying to you here is that i want you to chill out and let me have my chance with him. i doubt he wants to be in an actual relationship and i’m not sure that’d be the best for me right now either. he’s so fucking conflicted after all.." yg side-eyes+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+ in the best of ways. "mmh...?" jk asks, still rolling his hips excruciatingly slow, their erections brushing together. "why- why are we kissing like this...?" jm's eyes are pretty and shiny and half-lidded. there's an almost pleading, hopeful glint to them, jk can't really+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+he does not dare utter another word, just as jm ordered him. jk leaves his best friend's house with a shattered heart and his eyes stinging with tears. pain and regret all he can feel as he drags himself home, craving to be with jm and apologizing over and over until he's+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+to what he is to him. jk doesn't /want/ anyone to replace him. he wants him. he wants /only/ jm. he /needs/ him so badly... and he suddenly gets it. he realizes it. that it's much more complicated than he could've ever anticipated. it all starts making sense now.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

3 months

i wrote almost 3k for the bros fic today. this hadn't happened in months and months and months. i'm so happy and so sleepy 🥹 bye! 😴

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+for some reason, jk feels like someone has just punched him in the face. something turbulent arises within him. he probably doesn't have the right to, but he feels angry, feels like everything until now was a stepping stone for jm to get to yg. that maybe every time they were+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+is perfectly reasonable, but another just wants to tell him to go fuck himself. "that's up for jm-hyung to decide, not you." jk seethes, narrowing his eyes. "and i'm telling /you/ to do the right thing. you know i'm right. plus he told me he's attracted to me, that he also+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+wants to try something." even if jm had told him this before, jk wasn't prepared to hear it again in such an unceremonious way, directly from yg's mouth. the other man keeps smoking, sharp eyes cold as jk averts his gaze. all that fake confidence melts away and he's just a sad+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+"i don't want to hear another word from your fucking mouth!" jk startles, tears welling up in his eyes immediately. he's never, /ever/ seen jm like this, has never witnessed him getting this aggressive or talking this way. he scrambles up and clumsily retrieves his backpack.+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+oh fuck... he's got him moaning. shit, now he can't stop. he won't. jk rolls on top of jm, flattens him down on the bed while still ravishing his mouth. their kisses are wet and sloppy and so fucking dirty... jk can't help but hum in pleasure, hands running down jm's sides,+

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@butistillwantit

lilith 💕

@butistillwantit

1 year

+he feels nauseous and his heart hurts and hurts and hurts. he was cruel because he's hurting. "h- hyung- i- " he starts weakly. "go! just GO!!" jm turns on the spot and screams, face distorted with sadness and rage, pointing at the door with a sharp movement.+

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