felonious rabbit @buncrimes Twitter profile

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

9 hours

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

nfts are gacha for nerds who think they're too good for anime

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

we're discussing heavensward

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

realm? reborn. heavens? warded. storm? bloodied. shadow? bringed. end? walked.

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

rest in peace, plunge

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

shirt mockup

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

if you're ever worried about being too indulgent with your oc at least you're not "billboards in houston and california to advertise our video game nightclub" indulgent

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

where's the localization team i want a word

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

concepts you need to understand to play ffxiv battle content: - magnetism - prime numbers - (antiquated) naval terminology - butterfly effect - gravity (normal and in reverse) - pandemics - geometry

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

Upon asking the autistic girl about her hobbies, several cutscenes will play in sequence. It is recommended you set aside sufficient time to view these scenes in their entirety.

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 months

[explaining to a freak why they should get into xiv] yeah there's a boss based on bees that uses pheromones and poison to fill up a horny meter above your head and if you get too horny for her you die

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

good news everyone, red mage no longer has the weakest auto attack in the game

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

y'shtola has a magical girl summon sequence krile wears cat ears g'raha is a retrofuturist urianger larps alphinaud takes model un way too seriously alisaie collects plushies estinien is a scalie thancred pretends he's too cool the scions of the seventh grade anime club

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

"g'raha as crystal exarch pulled straight SRs until he got a pity pull on the warrior of light" is still my favorite mental image of what happened in shadowbringers

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

9 months

luka!✨🏳️‍⚧️🍉 COMMS OPEN!!

@lesbiankrile

9 months

@buenagu4 @buncrimes "Dawntrail is good" "Dawntrail is bad" -> "four more years of Stormblood discourse for some reason"

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

xiv social media greatest moments: - the billboard - covid comic - catboy is a slur - gshade grudge match - sponsored youtube rp club ad - ascian sex dungeon - top zoomhacks / the 9th man what others am I missing

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

a lot to unpack here, even as a meme post

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

honestly the fact that i get to make a leather dyke lion woman is what makes ffxiv my favorite video game

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

hades: my ancient power is that i can turn into an eldritch horror beast elidibus: my ancient power is i can turn into the warrior of light of yore azem: my ancient power is that at any time i can summon 7 guys in animal suits who will help me beat your ass

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

imagine being koana coming to sharlayan after spending a life around tulliyolal cuisine and finding out those nerds eat fucking archon loaf

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

wol: i'm a corsair now y'shtola: weren't you a paladin last month alisaie: and a dark knight the month before wol: yes but alphinaud: and a samurai the month before that wol: okay so i'm prone to flights of fancy estinien: and a dragoon before that wol: okay okay i get it

felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

i know the time bubble is to allow for creative liberties but it's funny to think about meteor having an identity crisis every month or two

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

what's your favorite xiv raid series? is it - What Happened To Grandpa? - Oh Fuck They Gave the Goblins a Time Machine - Tournament Arc (with Robots) - Sometimes a Family is Two Lesbians And Their Gay Dads - Scooby Doo Adventures (feat. Daddy Issues)

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

I love krile baldesion because she's such a highly respected scholar nobody bats an eye that she's always in a cat kigurumi

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

wol: I'd like to be made an archon sharlayan: we...can't really do that, that's not how it works wol: my specialty is "preventing the end of existence as we know it" sharlayan: yes we understand but to become an arch- wol: I'd like to believe I'm an authority on the subject

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

worm food 🇵🇸🌸✨🌸🇵🇸

@frogs4girls

2 years

every girl has to suffer through the constant internal battle between “my ideal weapon is a pair of daggers” and “my ideal weapon is a stupidly colossal hammer”

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

4 months

rabbit and steel is so far ahead of ffxiv that it allows rabbits to wear rabbits on their head

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

4 months

felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

4 months

we're now past 10 years of arguing about whether arr was good or not

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

tav: [persuasion: failure] so shadowheart what's going on with the artifact shadowheart: don't worry about it kitten tav: [perception: critical failure] okay ❤️ tav: yay ❤️❤️

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

xiv players: we have a normal relationship with our game also xiv players: spending 10 hours idling in a zone for a rare spawn that will still be available 2 years later even as their game might kick them into a 3 hour queue at any moment

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

mounts should be inaccessible to everyone no savage mounts, no cash shop mounts, no company chocobos you travel on your own two feet at all times like hydaelyn intended

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

the only person in ffxiv i respect

🌺 sumi 🌺

@sumiyumiffxiv

1 year

@AetherCryptids

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

xiv players talk about the 2 days of pre-expansion maintenance with the same amount of pain and longing as someone who experienced any of the homestuck pauses

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

skip arr skip hw skip stb skip shb skip ew the only content you should be giving all your attention to is ocean fishing and mahjong

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

is she... you know...*does a fishing rod casting motion* gay

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

9 months

you can tell it's the end of the expansion because people are evaluating stormblood for the fourth year in a row

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

come play machinist! we've got - magazine fed gatling gun with scope - double-barrel shotgun with scope - grenade launcher with scope - literally just two guns on top of one another (no scope!) - the gun that shot g'raha tia

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

'THE GREAT CATACLYSM, FAITHFULLY RECREATED' i holler as i overturn the buffet table and turn the fourth of july into the fourth umbral calamity

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

♦️

@spidhrboyyy

1 year

What's your first tweet when you search for "gay" in your page?

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

booty shorts but with quotes from thunder god cid "THE GODS WILL NOT BE WATCHING" "RUINATION IS COME" "MISFORTUNE HANGS HEAVY ON A HEAD ONCE HELD HIGH" "HONED IS THE BLADE THAT SEVERS THE VILLAIN'S HEAD" "AT THE END OF THE BROKEN PATH LIES DEATH AND DEATH ALONE"

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

y'shtola: I'm definitely one of the most reasonable scions y'shtola, when anything at all happens: ok I'm gonna use flow if i die don't tell matoya

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

if you're ever worried your wol's lore is too self-indulgent just look at dragonsong ultimate

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

lahabrea: that's the carbuncle everyone loves the carbuncle wol: the carbuncle just tried to eat my face lahabrea: back in the days of PARADISE

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

healerjobshowcase.png

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 months

dawntrail has never made more clear the divide between people who started playing pre-shadowbringers and people who started playing post-shadowbringers

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

6 months

hermes' pr manager ☀️🍎

@7thastralera

6 months

i thought this was another p7s raid guide im in tears

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

:')

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

when your favorite character appears on screen

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

so is shadowkeeper mount discourse going to be the axolotl mount discourse in reverse

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

HOW TO TAKE A LONG BREAK FROM FFXIV 1. put your character in front of your house / fc 2. log out 3. go to mogstation, disable your extra retainers 4. set a reminder in your phone for every 3 weeks to log in for 5 minutes 5. squenix won't fix demo timers so budget 15/month

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

6 months

somhairle 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇻🇺➰

@somhairle_

6 months

Imagine the thrill the first peasant to shoot a gun at a knight must have felt. Turning round to your mates to celebrate like you just hit a championship winning three pointer

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

the best mod to come out of endwalker yet

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

happy shadowkeeper day everyone

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

fantasy is when you square up against a bunch of catholic elves sci-fi is when you square up against the manifestation of universal entropy at the end of time using a spaceship powered by an improbability engine and piloted by small rabbits

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

ultimately 99% of gshade users won't ever run into the authentication check that can restart your computer, but the fact they put it in there at all is both needlessly petty and antagonistic to their users and that's enough to abandon using the project on principle

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

halone, the fury halone, the furry

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

should go without saying but if you use the activision/blizzard lawsuit as a way to endorse xiv, square enix, or any other major gaming company i will attach you to a zipline and push you into the ocean

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

i've figured out the opener for endwalker summoner

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

posting this solely to annoy my beloved girlfriend

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

congratulations to this cat on their solo world first clear of the omega protocol

ヒカペン

@298tp

2 years

アァーッ！オメガｧ！

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

"there are lines on the floor" is genuinely game-changing advice for xiv

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

Jason

@longwall26

11 years

It's not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

congrats (it was harder in 7.0) on defeating amon (it was harder in 7.0)

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

11 months

fall guys collab singlehandedly improving the average level of performance from players across ffxiv

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

CONVOCATION GROUP CHAT horse_girl69: going to submit the phoinix for consideration horse_girl69: phoenix* Emet-Selch: Phoinix mustlovedogs: phoinix bruh: phoinix Emet-Selch(1): phoinix elidibus @convocation .org: I think you misspelled "phoenix" horse_girl69: i hate you all

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

i just hit lvl 90 reaper

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

zenos in garlemald: trying to save the world? that's cringe alisaie: YOU'RE CRINGE zenos: *tries not to cry*

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

literally me

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

wow i can't believe she said that

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

they give you a badge with the username you had before what the actual fuck was this change for

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

4 months

@lapisarrows @bubbIine_ iron lung (2022)

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

"koana's a tech bro it's basically like soylent to him" tech bros are rich white kids who grew up around people who think jalapeno is too spicy there's no fucking way koana would accept archon loaf after eating even one meal in tuliyollal

felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

imagine being koana coming to sharlayan after spending a life around tulliyolal cuisine and finding out those nerds eat fucking archon loaf

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

a lot of discourse around endwalker and the decision-making of its characters would disappear if people could internalize the idea that sometimes there are no right answers to a situation, only harm reduction ffxiv's narrative has always been Trolley Problem: The Video Game

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

"you won but i'm still right" i love this asshole so much

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

elpis researchers: aw, azem's familiar is so cute! wol: [snaps and changes their clothes and equipment] researchers: and so talented, too! wol: [materializes a disembodied head and climbs on top] researchers: ...ah? wol: [flies, crashes into rocks] researchers: hm

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

6 months

Liffeh 🥀💚

@Liffeh

6 months

dawntrail really needs to hurry up, the content drought is starting to take it's toll

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

y'shtola and estinien are the ones going with the wol into the void because like the wol they have the least regard for their own life of all the other scions put together

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

me: hey squenix could we go back to ala mhigo squenix: did you say kugane me: no i said ala mhigo squenix: of course we'll give you more kugane me: please you spent 2 expansions building up the ala mhigan struggle and it was secondary in focus in its own expansion squenix: kugane

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

it's monopoly money

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

6 months

"none of that kingdom hearts nonsense" final fantasy xiv is a game about how an ancient space wizard survived an apocalypse because they were Built Different and had to save the world from the machinations of other ancient space wizards

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

when you live on the fourth, ninth, or eleventh shard of etheirys and never had to deal with an end of days scenario

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

wol: hey stephanvivien stephanvivien: hey wol long time no see wol: yeah I've been busy modifying that drill you gave me, now it shoots anchors and saw blades stephanvivien: holy shit wol: also I built a robot that punches things stephanvivien: fucking sick

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

hey squenix hey hey squenix do something with grand company ranks in endwalker pls

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

koana's va liked my tweets defending koana's honor not being a tech bro so I am confident I am right in my assessment of his character

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

sometimes things happen in the xiv community that make me realize i'm playing an entirely different game than most people playing this game

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

4 months

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

i am beyond livid that the buffalo mount is locked behind island sanctuary. you do not put cute mounts behind island sanctuary, ever. island sanctuary is for neck beard no-lifers who play this game 24/7. give them a crappy dragon mount or something but cute mounts do NOT belong t

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

...ah. i see.

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

squenix: we made the crystarium and old sharlayan achingly beautiful hubs that show a clear appreciation for architecture also squenix: we put our end-game hubs in the two most cramped areas we could find

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

2 years

red «gobbingway» ☀🌿

@roefizzlebeef

2 years

reading about ffxiv rogues version of thieves cant this afternoon and actually laughing my idiotic fucking head off about the incredibly vivid mental image I just had of that one dasharez0ne meme but with jacke instead of the skeleton and it says IF IT'S DAFT HOP THE TWIG

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

[youth pastor voice] jesus took the first tankbuster (our sins)

“Alex”

@mangopdf

2 years

youth pastor, wearing cat ear gaming headset: jesus tanked so we could dps

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

1 year

i think if i was allowed to rewrite endwalker i'd make it more explicit that the ancients were a fucking mess from the get-go, allude to pandaemonium-type nonsense early on so you can see that they were nostalgic for a time that never existed as the utopia they sought

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 months

i mean this in the most positive and loving way possible: dawntrail has been the most quintessentially final fantasy expansion since a realm reborn

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felonious rabbit

@buncrimes

3 years

xiv twitter, 11:58: xiv twitter, 11:59: xiv twitter, 12:00: SO ANYWAY I WANT TO DO UNHOLY THINGS TO ERENVILLE AND HYTHLODAEUS

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