Shane Clifford @brilliantshane Twitter profile

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

7 months

I'm on Instagram : And here too: If you want to follow me there.

Shane Clifford (@brilliantshane.bsky.social)

Stand Up Comedy

bsky.app

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Last Seen Profiles

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Congrats to Rihanna and As Soon As Possible Rocky on the birth of their child

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

My pharmacist went red with embarrassment when she realised she had run out of vaccines. She was Scarlet No Janssen.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

6 years

Imagine the high you'd get from going to McCartneys childhood home on the day he makes a surprise visit, then imagine the intense low you'd get from seeing James Cordon is there as well.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

1 month

Just saw this YouTube comment of a guy saying "That's music to my ears" when he was talking about music

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

My nan used to always complain about Packie Bonner doing this. "He always kicks it straight to the other team!!" But Packie is still alive and my nan is dead so I suppose he had the last laugh.

Bryan’s Gunn

@bryansgunn

2 years

80s goalkeepers just booting it

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

40000 in Croke Park and yet no one turned up to my 21st in 2007? 🙄

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

Cheers

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Leaving cert starts tomorrow. To anyone who is nervous about it, remember, I failed mine and my life since has been one misery and tragedy after another

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

The score of his life

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Forgot to bring my bankcard to the shop the last day so I had to sell my 3 euro worth of AMC stock on revolut to buy a banana and a Yazoo

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

It's amazing that a giant ball of hot gas 150 million km away has the power to stick my sack to my inner thigh

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

What I appreciate about the Eurovision is that it's a chance to sit with your loved ones for 5 hours and listen to some of the worst music you've ever heard

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

4 years

You ever hear Americans say "on accident" instead of "by accident" what the fuck is that shit ?

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

9 months

This is true, I know I'm very lucky because my wife also has a "Joshua Thompson's Pussy" tattoo.

Zaza Man

@Zazamyodor

9 months

If she really loves you, she will do it for you

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Took my head out of the oven when I heard the news.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Eddie Rockets is closing?! Is there no room for cultural spaces in Dublin any more?

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

9 months

In the barber, a dickhead in suede shoes, no socks, white jeans and the worst D4 accent just loudly said to a guy ahead of him in the queue "Bro I'll pay for your haircut if you let me go first". I felt pure revulsion just flow through my body. The guy said no.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

This weekend I will walk around Dublin City and I will fight any teenager I see having any type of fun. If I see even one 15 year old smile I will fight them to the death

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Me when Italy dive: you cheeky rapscallions! Me when England Dive: Evil diving scum

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

1 month

So is the Jolene that Beyonce is singing about the same Jolene Dolly Parton was singing about? She must be ancient and still chasing after married men. Fair play

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Hope it's good news

Visegrád 24

@visegrad24

2 years

The Élysée Palace released images of French President Macron after his call with Putin today, regarding the invasion of Ukraine. 🇫🇷🇷🇺🇺🇦

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Anxiety can feel like walking through a 1970s Turkish Airport with 3kgs of hash strapped to your chest but from the comfort of your own couch

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

I wrote "I murdered a man in 2013 and got away with it." in the Census Time Capsule bit.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Who advised her to say this and put it up in Piccadilly Circus? Seems like a bad idea no?

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

If you told me when I was 15 that at 35 I'd still be out drinking cans in the same field because of a deadly worldwide airborne viral pandemic I would have said "What?" and "Who are you?"

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

4 years

Me alone in my apartment dunking my face into a bucket of water. There's no apple.

Richard Chambers

@newschambers

4 years

Micheal Martin says "Halloween itself isn't cancelled" but you can't go knocking on doors. He says there are other ways of enjoying Halloween.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Anyone else absolutely burned out from everything and nothing? Feel fucking braindead and also bodydead together known as dead.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

In the queue for the vaccine with my fellow 35 yr olds. Definitely the most depressed looking age group. State of us.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

He must have some uppercut

The Guardian

@guardian

3 years

Richard Branson aims to beat Jeff Bezos into space by nine days

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

6 years

My friends mom commenting on the wrong Facebook post

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

7 years

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

This man wants to fist my horse

Ben Shapiro

@benshapiro

5 years

In other words, if you label me alt-right, f*** you and f*** the horse you rode in on.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Double Denim Man

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

A ten minute song?! More like Taylor Leisurely

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

7 years

I remember in 97 my mother telling me that she was voting yes to divorce but not to tell my father. They got divorced 4 years later hahaha

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Reminds me of the time Aiden Gillen headbutted me in the International Bar

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

Finally moving to Dublin next month. Can't wait to start drinking 3FE coffee, wear airpods and go to whatever 'The Pav' is.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

People think the housing crisis is bad in Dublin but look how much we have to fucking pay for goats in Kerry.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Ciara will be so proud when she gets in from her 10 hour shift.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Feeling a bit down with everything going on but I'm heading out to meet my friend Paul and his new girlfriend Phoebe for a few pints. Should be a laugh,

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

2066 years today since Julius Caesar was stabbed in the back by the dirty snakes in the roman senate. Can't trust no one x

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

I'm in The Square Tallaght. Something I often heard ads for on the radio as a young man growing up in Tralee. In my imagination it seemed to be an almost ethereal place, a fantasy world, and yet here I am sitting in The Square Tallaght. An emotional day.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Owlivia Hootin John

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Laughing at all you drivers freaking out about rising petrol costs haha you should be like me I don't have a car, I never learned to drive and I get by just never going anywhere just sitting on my hole all day looking out the window eating spuds

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

More like Ghislaine Maximumsentence 👍

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Smell of weed there around south william street. So please take care if you are walking home in the direction tonight x

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Listen, I like Thunderstruck as much as the next man but that doesn't mean I'll take their advice on serious medical matters.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Imagine you died and all of England started clapping. Pricks.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

When I was 15 my Dad found a box of condoms in my coat pocket and as punishment he sat me down in the kitchen and made me use every last one of them

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

7 years

Today I heard a fella in a cubicle saying 'Please' as he flushed for the second time

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

My thoughts on the South William St chaos last night

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

Girls. Were you a child of the 90s? Are you like me? Were you once a child? Do you remember things? Things like Blur Vs Oasis, Jurassic Park, Kenny Live? Do you remember Riverdance, Father Ted, Monica Lewinsky, Fred West and The Balkans War? Have sex with me on May 24th

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

7 years

One time I was in Poland, drunk and I watched the video to Hey Jude twice on my data and it cost me €200

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

You: Man those pills were duds. Got nothing off them Me:

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

To the person who unfollowed me on Christmas Day 🎄 I hope you pass away tonight in your sleep. Violently.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Yes I am "rich" in terms of family, friends, health and happiness but I would trade it all in for 1000 euros cash

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Due to ongoing restrictions I will be going up a jeans size. Sorry for any inconvenience.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

If there is another lockdown I will shit on my own face

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

any one know this song? It's wrecking my head

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Hi friends— I’ve left Picture This

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Today Protestants are packing away their tree, eating leftover goose and their priests are having sex with women. Scum.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

6 years

Worst ever joke just popped into my head. Jesus fuck. Here it is: Paul McCartney was asked "Hey Paul who do you think is going to win the World Cup?" "I'm backing the USSR", Paul replied

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

4 years

there's a third happy pear twin locked in a basement

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

D Day is short for D Day D Allies Stormed D Beach

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

Just a quick message to those of you with less than 50 followers

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

Moving to Dublin next week. Looking forward to either becoming extremely rich or dying slowly inside and out

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Turdle : I take a picture of my shit and you have 6 tries to guess what I had for breakfast

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

I am a Fiancée now. Weird.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

I don't care what they say about you

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Saw your dad drinking tap water out of a Coke bottle

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

On a train hungover, regretful and scared. Boisterous teenagers chat excitedly in the seats behind me. They're looking forward to spending some time in Killarney with friends. I hate them.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

I went to meet my girlfriend today and she took this pic of me today cause she wanted me to see how badly I was dressed. I genuinely thought I was dressed alright

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

6 years

I don't know much about the female reproductive system and pregnancy, I don't know everything about abortion but every single woman that i personally know is advocating a yes vote. And since they know more about it than me, I trust them and I'll be voting yes to support them.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

Ciara said my painting is something a 6 year old child would do after which he'd be refered to a psychologist

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

A young girl made a shitty hacky joke on here about seeing "homeless people vaccinating themselves behind a building" and now she's getting quote tweeted to fuck as if she's irelands most evil person rather than someone who made a thoughtless shitty joke.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

I was thinking of getting a bike to cycle around Dublin City and get a bit fit but then I remembered it would definitely result in my tragic death.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

6 years

My favourite thing about the new doughnut shop in Tralee, 'John Doughs', is that while I eat my sugar coated, strawberry filled treat I will think about cold, dead, unnamed bodies.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

4 years

My dominatrix dresses as Peig and screams the Modh Coinníollach at me while whipping my balls

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

There is a man on the train with his mask around his chin, taking huge gulps of Pepsi and then burping loudly and playing the Red Hot Chilli Peppers album 'Blood Sugar Sex Magik' on his phone speaker

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

I will never forget being woken up by mother in 1997 with her words "Princess Diana died" and now I will never forget being woken up by my girlfriend this morning with "Will Smith attacked Chris Rock on stage at the Oscars". 2 epochal waking up moments of my life

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

If I have to pay €50 to a GP there better be something wrong with me

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Coming out of isolation tomorrow. Feeling rejuvenated. We all have the same 24 hours in the day....you can achieve what I have if you work hard enough.

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

I'm still in the first lockdown baking bread, doing zoom quizzes and washing my shopping in the bath, like the Japanese soldier who fought World War 2 until 1974

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

I would absolutely hate if my bands first show after my death got a 5 star review.

The Guardian

@guardian

3 years

Rolling Stones review – a funky, heavy first show without Charlie Watts

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

Just heard a guy in limerick say to his friend "Listen to what you're saying man, how can it be yesterday now?"

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

In the pub, as a prank, I've been saying 'Chairs' instead of 'Cheers'. 18 months and no one has caught me yet haha

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Feel sorry for the poor fucker who's gonna have to go out plant 9 million trees cause you shared a pic of your cat Dave

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

5 years

You can tell a lot about a man from the state of his butter

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Sad to see what has happened to this once great Tralee art piece

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

3 years

No fucker is gonna live in my head rent free. 1500 a month to live in my head and 1500 deposit

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

10 days

There comes a point in everyone's life when music festival line ups start to look like foreign languages

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Shane Clifford

@brilliantshane

2 years

Robbie may be a dog but where I'm from he'd be considered a RAT. (I'm from Tralee Co Kerry)

Richard Chambers

@newschambers

2 years

Revenue says €9.8m worth of drugs was seized at Dublin Port yesterday, concealed within a furniture consignment from the Netherlands. Discovery made with the help of detector dog Robbie.