brian gomez 🏴 @briang0mez Twitter profile

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Wow.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

KELING (from a 8-year-old facebook post) Thread: ------ I come home from school and ask my mother: "Ma, what is keling?" "Who called you that?" she says. "Some boys at school." "Just ignore them la."

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Rasanya seumur hidup aku, aku tak pernah kot doakan sesiapa mampos. Harini aku doakan 70 orang mampos sekaligus.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

My condo is at the KL-Selangor border. Technically my hall is in Selangor but my kitchen is in KL. How the hell am I supposed to get my beer from the fridge?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

That time when Satan told Nurul Zahid to scold her maids for eating ice cream but Allah told her she could buy a whole ice cream company instead and a major crisis was averted.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Ah, Malaysia. Where the action begins at 1am, but the restaurants close at 8.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

The most honest website in the country

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

13 days

THREAD: POLICE PROTECTION IN 1992 Listen here, @anwaribrahim , you know this, but perhaps you've conveniently forgotten. When my father, Douglas Gomez, was assaulted in 1992, my family had 24-hour police protection. There was an undercover cop car near my house at all times.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I don't understand the government's strategy. If we all die, who will you steal from?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

6 years

1) Really, Khairy? “Malaysians love our double standards”? You’re shitting on Malaysians? You think Malaysians want these choices?

Khairy Jamaluddin 🇲🇾🌺

@Khairykj

6 years

Anwar pernah gelar orang di tengah tu “the most corrupt person in Malaysia.” And just like that, any moral credibility you thought Pakatan had is gone. But of course, even this will be excused. Because Malaysians love our double standards.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

But actually kan, Bollywood is Malay culture. No Indians here going nuts screaming tumpah se-air when they screen Kuch Kuch Hota Hai for the 1087th time during Hari Raya.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Is this guy even really Malay? Facial structure seems to indicate he's at least half goat.

Wan Ahmad Fayhsal

@wanfayhsal

2 years

Apa yang jelas, saya akan terus bersuara demi bangsa Melayu sekalipun berdiri keseorangan. Ini adalah prasyarat penting jika kita mahu Malaysia menjadi sebuah negara yang meraikan seluruh rakyatnya secara adil dan saksama. 2/3

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

I hope @anwaribrahim does away with this stupid habit of changing our salams when govts change, eg "salam 1malaysia" "salam keluarga malaysia" whatnot. And just permanently gazettes our Salam Rasmi Kebangsaan as: "Makan?" "Makan makan."

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

Met a Malay guy while I was in the PJ Balai lockup and I accused him of cultural appropriation.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

From after my dad was summoned to the Johor Palace in 1992

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

If you want to tackle obesity, you need to get to the root cause of the problem, which is that our food is fucking awesome. The only way to counter this is to hire cooks from Singapore.

Khairy Jamaluddin 🇲🇾🌺

@Khairykj

3 years

Sempena pelancaran #AgendaNasionalMalaysiaSihat , apa pandangan anda terhadap waktu operasi restoran ‘kedai mamak’?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

11 months

A SHOPPING COMPLEX 1. I visited one of the newest shopping complexes in Kuala Lumpur. 2. There was an old man on a buggy yelling something about The Chinese. 3. If you've lost an old man, please collect him at the Misinformation Counter.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Tan tu nama cina. Sri tu nama india. Hadi Awang tak risau ke dimurtadmelayukan penyokong bangang dia, yang sendiri mengaku mudah terkeliru dengan nama?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Was wondering what party Tiong King Sing is from and now I realise it's just "party".

Datuk Jahat Hensem

@datukhensem

2 years

TOURISM IN MALAYSIA WILL BE LIT AS FUCK NEXT YEAR

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

6 years

Fuck UiTM. In fact, fuck universities. You can learn everything from Youtube. You come here now, I'll remove your appendix with a pencil, dental floss and baking soda (every youtube tutorial requires baking soda, don't ask me why). So fuck UiTM. Get yourself some baking soda.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

"I promise I'll stay in jail" has got to be the weirdest janji ever.

Free Malaysia Today

@fmtoday

2 years

FLASH: Najib denies he will be ‘freed immediately’ if BN wins GE15

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Kalau aku nak beli rumah masih kena bayar Surcaj Bukan-Bumiputera ke? Ala kata keluarga.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

Pengajaran hari ini: Kalau menurut perintah dapat RM300. Kalau merajuk dapat jam tangan RM500k.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

PENGAKUAN: GE14 aku undi Rina Harun di Tititwangsa. Kerana dosa aku ni, aku terima memang wajar dan patut aku dimakihamun sekeras-kerasnya oleh warga netizen. Sila tinggalkan segala makian/carut di replies. Sekian.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Said Khairy, with absolutely no hint of irony.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

My wife and I are arguing about who is the head of the house because neither of us want to go out to do the groceries.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

To me, the biggest hero is still the cop who stole Najib Razak's chocolates.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

7 months

It's Nov 29th! The day Nurul Zahid defeated Satan by allowing her maids to eat icecream! To commemorate this day, please buy someone an icecream! I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM: #SCREWYOUSATAN

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

MAHIADIN: 6800 CASES! I DON'T CARE WHERE THEY ARE WHAT THEY'RE DOING I WANT EVERYONE IN MY OFFICE IN 5 DAMN MINUTEHAHAHAHAHA that sounded so cool. Actually we should probably have a meeting. Tell everyone tomorrow la. Bilik Mawar. Order cekodok.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

10 months

LIVE UPDATES: Shocking turn of events at Bukit Gasing where MUDA candidate VKK Raja has taken the lead in the number of push ups he can do.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

BERAKING: Muhyiddin

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

13 days

But things are VERY different now, aren't they? Initial media reports state that the latest victim of assault (from a VERY, very long list of victims spanning decades) is deaf and mute, but it turns out he's only deaf. The only one who is mute, @anwaribrahim , is you.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

6 years

"Ini bumi melayu. Cakap melayu." K.

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@briang0mez

3 years

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

Honest logo rationale

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

5 years

1) Visit Malaysia 2020 is the campaign. 2) Malaysia, Truly Asia is the brand and tagline 3) This has been done for decades. How do you screw this up? 4) Visit Truly Asia Malaysia makes absolutely no sense and is embarrassing. 5) Why are you hashtagging your name?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

1 year

I like Nazri Aziz, to be honest. He seems like the kind of guy you could call at 2am to help you hide a body. "Otw bro" "Bawak carpet" "Orait bro"

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

11 months

Entahlah nak dengar kata orang tua ke tak, but you guys might want to consider ditching the funeral colours after this.

Melanie Ting

@melanietingyh

11 months

Let’s do this together! 💪🏼💪🏼 #MUDA #BukitAntarabangsa

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Fellow bartenders, from now on we call this The Peja Pour.

Jalan-Jalan Cuti Santai

@JalanCutiSantai

2 years

Yb Peja ni kalau memang lawak la patut dia masuk program MLM 😂

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I realize now what keling is. It is to Indians what botak is to bald people. It is, simply, the most obvious insult one can think of if one were inclined to insult someone. It is the insult of a child who has yet to develop a vocabulary.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

The best reason to vote Anwar Ibrahim as PM is so that we can, finally, just get it over and done with.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

13 days

You go overseas and talk big in defense of a people who are defenseless against murderers that are immune, exempt, and never held to account for their actions. And yet, at home - well, if you'll allow me to quote a hypocrite: "Where have we thrown our humanity?"

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

Why the hell do Malaysians want to produce a film like Parasite when we have had, running this country for almost 60 years, actual parasites?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

14 days

Those days are back again.

TheVibes.com

@thevibesnews

15 days

Case of disabled man allegedly attacked by Johor royal bodyguard amicably resolved

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I ask my father: "Pa, what is keling?" "Who called you that?" "Some boys at school." "Punch them in the face." I am 7 years old. I am confused. ***

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I am 38 years old. I am triumphant.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Tak habis-habis pasal bumi/bukan-bumi. Padahal dah terbukti kalau nak kaya, jalan muhibbah paling berkesan. Tak percaya tengok najib-jholow-arulkanda.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Sehari sebelum lockdown terima surat dari mbpj suruh bayar lesen+cukai hiburan 2021 RM8k lebih walaupun dah 15 bulan hiburan dilarang dan dijangka kekal dilarang sampai tahun depan. Aku takde tenaga, masa dan duit nak lawan ni tapi terpaksa juga siap sedia untuk perang.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

5 years

So PAS wants to chop off the hands of people who steal. UMNO wants to steal. Tell me again how this partnership works?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

My Khir Toyo story: Lastime there was this survey done where it was revealed that university students were having sex. Khir Toyo wasn't happy with the results of the survey, so he directed the State Government to call up university students to ask them if they were having sex.

aku/saya

@bumilangit

2 years

Antara yang paling diingati ialah lawatan beliau, keluarga dan orang gaji ke Disneyland Paris dan Orlando US yang biaya RM1.6 juta duit sykt kerajaan negeri atas alasan ‘lawatan teknikal’. Selain itu, beliau juga pernah menganugerahkan penyapu kepada..

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

There is more laughter. I am thankful at this point that Hang Tuah shows up and kills Hang Jebat. The play is over. We win second place. I am 12 years old. I am humiliated. ***

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

13 days

The police PROTECTED my family, whether they liked it or not. Because the government - THE PRIME MINISTER - told them to. Imagine that.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

It is the insult of a mob idiotic enough to jeer their own captain. It is the insult of choice for people too unimaginative, too witless, too stupid, to think of a better insult. I am 17 years old. I am enlightened. ***

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

11 months

What happened yesterday was done by some drunk white guy. What's happening TODAY is being done by the madani government. Some anger redirection is required.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Okay @fahmi_fadzil . I'm available for hire to counter PAS. You can't do it truth, facts, figures, the promise of clean tap water, whatall whatnot. We need to create a story that Hadi Awang was born out of wedlock and was, in fact, fathered by...

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

13 days

The point is that: Back then, WE HAD POLICE PROTECTION. Not because the police in 1992 were already inclined to protect lowly people like us - and now in 2024, a deaf Grab driver - but because @chedetofficial 's government made it VERY CLEAR, PUBLICLY, that the police HAD TO.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Well played, genius inventor of useless gadget that scammed an entire planet.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Oh bagitau omputih dulu, ya? Orang kita harini umum, esok SOP, lusa lockdown.

Malay Mail

@malaymail

3 years

Putrajaya mulls total economic shutdown after Feb 4 if Covid numbers don't improve, Eurocham Malaysia tells its members

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I've got news for you, kids. It gets worse with employment. Oh, and. Selamat Hari Malaysia.

BFM News

@NewsBFM

3 years

1. 50% of Malaysians have experienced discrimination in schools, according to a survey by Sekolah Semua. Indians were found to be the worst affected, with 87% of respondents saying they felt discriminated against because of their ethnicity alone.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

"Yes but why aren't you King?" - @RishiSunak 's parents.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 months

To understand why Wan Fayhsal wants the sentence for goat-fucking reduced from 20 years to 2 years, you only need took at Wan Fayhsal.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

The little girl looks at her mother, then looks back at me and points and says: "Keling." The mother looks at me and quickly looks away. She hushes the child. I hear giggles all around. I am 14 years old. I am angry. ***

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

5 years

Going through my dad's old stuff and found this: The "movement codes" my dad had to use when we were under police protection from the royals back in 92. He probably used number 5 most often.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

13 days

There you go. Also: If you know your southern warung stories, you'd know that another deaf person was assaulted for "obstructing traffic". About 35 years ago.

Anthony Chong, PhD

@veeyeechong

13 days

We've established the Malaysian Deaf Advocacy and Well-Being Organisation (DAWN). We urgently need your help to share our statement about the Grab driver assault incident, highlighting the failure to protect his rights. Link:

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Well, here it is then. #SolidarityWithCrackhouseKL

Merdekarya

@merdekarya

2 years

BEBENANG PANJANG So. Citer dia camni: Alex Chandran, boyfriend/suami/entah-apa kepada Amy Si Penanggal Baju yang viral, dulu-dulu selalu jugak lepak kat Merdekarya (sekitar tahun 2015).

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

Quick! Think of an idiot from Johor! . . . . . . . . . Haha. Made you think seditious thoughts.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

7 months

M: 1. Laziness is Malay culture. 2. Non-malays need to assimilate into Malay culture. 3. Jadi; Non-Malays need to become lazy. 4. BUT, Malays need to copy successful Non-Malays. 5. So, Non-malays become lazy Malays and Malays become successful Non-malays. 6. Malays win.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

"Sure. BN may be thieves and murderers, but that isn't a good enough reason to vote for PH." But it is. It's an excellent reason.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

@IsmailSabri60 please la. Please let eateries open till 10pm. Tapau and deliveries je pun. 8pm means we stop taking orders at 7.30. Which means almost ALL orders will come in between 7 and 7.30pm. Even at full capacity, we won't be able to cope. Rugi besar ni. Please la

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

UPDATE: Dogs rescued :)

brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

We have a Triton and have offered to help but there's been no reply so far. Hoping this means they've gotten help. But if you're around the area and have a truck, and can spare the time to go and check, please do.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Bro. Pensel nak, pensel? Nak? Aku ada jalan, bro. Nak, jumpa kat tandas awam medan selera oldtown. Datang sorang. Pensel, bro. Pensel.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I am in scout camp. Our troop is in some sort of drama competition. For our drama theme, we choose "Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat". There are twenty of us. Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat are only two people...

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

Perikatan Nasional is what happens when you want the position but not the job.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

5 years

It's mind-boggling that Waytha Moorthy, having never been elected by anyone, is minister of anything at all, and did not feel the need to resign yesterday. While Nurul Izzah, who'd make a great minister of anything, did.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

5 years

There. I fixed it.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

11 months

ALIEN 1. Bumi ini milik manusia. 2. Bukan milik alien. 3. Dengan syarat alien iktiraf hakikat yang tanah ini Tanah Manusia, dan mereka menerima dan mempraktikkan budaya manusia, kami boleh terima mereka tinggal di planet ini. 4. Kecuali alien xenomorph. 5. Sebab saya takut.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I am watching a video of Zulkifli Noordin on facebook. He says the word over and over again: keling keling keling keling keling. I smile. I write a facebook post. I imagine Zulkifli Noordin reading it: Huh? he says, and scratches his head. Biasa la tu. Belit macam keling.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

6 years

Fucking kids think The A-Team is a song by Ed Sheeran. Fuck this shit. Raise the voting age to 40.

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@briang0mez

13 days

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN 1992 I can tell you everything (and I know EVERYTHING) that happened in '92, but then I'd be thrown in jail - ironically by you, @anwaribrahim , and your 3R Gestapo (how things have changed).

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@briang0mez

6 years

7) Remember that? Remember when you were known as the richest jobless man in Malaysia? It wasn’t that long ago, Khairy.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

I once covered a Samy Vellu event about 27 years ago. Prior to his Arrival, the attendees in the hall were given garlands and instructed to garland The Great Man when he arrived....

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

4 years

The last time politicians from both sides came together for a common cause was Langkah Sheraton.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

13 days

Looking now at your betrayal of everything the Rakyat in 92 stood for, it might as well have been Tails.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

5 years

Whoa! You gotta admire the power of Zakir Naik's dakwah. One dinner with the kid and he has him swinging at the Indians the next day. Granted, these anti-khat guys are idiots, but no more bodoh sombong than the anti-ICERD thousands. Don't recall the kid coming out swinging then.

Syed Saddiq

@SyedSaddiq

5 years

Sanggup menghalang anak dari dapat pendidikan hanya kerana takut 3 muka surat berkenaan jawi yang tidak dimasukkan ke dalam exam & sudah pun opsyenal. You cannot get more bodoh sombong than this.

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@briang0mez

6 years

4) I’ve made worse compromises before la, fucker. Before this, I’ve only ever voted PAS. PAS! A party so stupid, they can’t even figure out what alphabets make up their acronym.

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@briang0mez

3 years

Hang Jebat is encouraged by this: "Si Hitam! Sana-lah! Aduhai Si Hitam ni!" As he beats my bum, I hear from somewhere in the crowd: "Kambing Keling"

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

9 months

You can't spell MADANI without D,N,A,A.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

...so it is decided that the rest of us will be sheep. And that Hang Jebat, for some reason, is herding sheep. I crawl around, embek-ing away in a manner I suspect Daniel Day-Lewis would, if he was playing Hang Jebat’s sheep.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

1 year

I think we can take some comfort that Gobind has been missing of late because he's likely still undercover.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

I am in the stands at Stadium Larkin. It’s Johor vs Pahang. Pahang has A. Anbalagan. Man, that guy is fast. He is on the wing at the grandstand side. He torments the Johor defence the whole first half. In the second half, he is opposite the grandstand, where I'm sitting.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

BREAKING: Myanmar urges Malaysia to restore democracy and stop persecuting the Rohingya

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Hang Jebat beats all the sheep on their bums and shouts out instructions: "Ke sana!" he says. "Sini! Sini!" The sheep comply, as sheep do. Hang Jebat gets to me: Sana! Sana! Ish…Si Hitam ni… There is laughter in the crowd.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Then someone shouts "keling!" Then another joins in. Before you know it, there are a hundred people all around me chanting keling. They keep chanting over and over again until…

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

6 years

2) You think we WANT to choose between your murderous thief and the man who put in place the conditions that created your murderous thief?

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

6 years

When you realise your ruler is, in fact, an eraser.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

6 years

The only progressive MP in the country is Charles Santiago, the representative for the constituency of................Klang. Klang, motherfuckers. KLANG! Machas drinking Club 99 in the park more woke than all of you shits.

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

3 years

Terserempak dengan tukang ambik foto sekali

Annuar Musa

@AnnuarMusa

3 years

Foto ini timbulkan teguran tentang SOP..saya faham sebab komentar berasaskan foto..Hakikatnya kedua dua mereka buat BRISK WALKING masing masing,berseorangan. Kebetulan terserempak di persimpangan jln SetiaBakti 1.Kami kemudianya berpecah,meneruskan riadah masing2.SOP COMPLIED

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brian gomez 🏴

@briang0mez

2 years

Cigarettes will at least take a longer time to kill you than cops will.

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