Brendan Kelly @brendankellol Twitter profile

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

just to be clear nobody pays me to do twitter i am just like this for free

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

this pic honestly fuckin rules

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

you know something catastrophically bad has occurred when a new zealander says it is "not ideal"

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

honestly imagine believing the New Zealand government could do a conspiracy. they can’t even do houses lol

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

applying for jobs in New Zealand is cool because they barely tell you what the job is and they absolutely don’t mention money! very helpful

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

how does anyone in nz have teeth AND a house

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

you telling me the giraffe i received health education from didn't do a good job

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

"no one should have to crowd fund a vaccination bus" folks we crowd fund our fucking ambulances

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

donning a suit of medieval armour to complain about how uncomfortable masks are

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 years

Duncan Garner believes everyone in New Zealand is entitled to free speech even those racist Canadians, but not Taika Waititi who remains a traitor for saying it's racist here

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

heather du plessis-allan has been approached to join the national party after successfully bullying a teenager

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

north shore teens Judith Collins 🤝 having an extremely unpopular party

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 years

a lot of people are accusing Judith Collins of being a troll today which is fair enough considering she is working under Bridges

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

national gonna give me $2 a week like im a world vision child

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

cant think why sunscreen is a priority for the national party

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

mary had a little lamb its blood was black and clotted because of shedded spike proteins from the pfizer jab you gotted

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

if you stop drinking so much coffee you could buy a house for $17,000 in 1976 like me

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

passing through Wellington today I will do a small poo on the ground as I believe is the current custom

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

4 years

my husband is Suzy Cato, so, kia ora, talofa, it’s our time

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

all these accounts from random cunts in Ireland and Britain like ‘New Zealand looks VERY BAD’ dont come here then who the fuck even are you

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

see what happens when you stop wearing ties New Zealand

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

name suppression in aotearoa is so cute. like a fun little detective game the government sets for us

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

good that fizzy drinks will be banned. go back to eating raro out of the packet like your forefathers

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

7 months

its cute that aotearoa is too polite to delve into the fact chris luxon was apparently a weird devout take your kids to homophobe camp christian and then suddenly stopped to do politics and doesnt believe any of that dumb shit now

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

vaccines from a mr whippy van will cost hundreds and thousands

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

if Brian Tamaki thinks COVID is a giant scam designed to redistribute wealth from gullible people wait until he hears about Destiny Church

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

cool that when you get a toothache in New Zealand you wish you could have been injured in an accident instead

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

4 years

giant unwashed hand terrorises Wellington

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

4 years

today in 'bold things for a white guy to say'

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

oh fuck winston has awoken

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

tomato soup is violence but this is a funny lol sir you are the biggest cunt in the nation

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 months

the new zealander of the year is that kid that called chris luxon a dickhead at assembly

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

7 months

if you’re young and sign waving for national at an intersection on saturday smoke a joint you fucking loser

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

annual reminder that Snoopy’s Christmas is barely famous outside New Zealand and we are so weird

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 years

Simon Bridges says fees-free uni means we think "the sons and daughters of millionaires deserve as much help as those in hardship" conversely it means we think those in hardship deserve as good an education as the sons and daughters of millionaires

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 months

holding a referendum on whether we should chuck a dildo at david seymours face at waitangi. no reason to be alarmed because its just a referendum everyone can have their say before we decide to chuck a dildo at david seymours face

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 months

imagine making this story premium

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

plz it is deeply unfair to judge a political party based on the personal views of its leader and its members and a large chunk of its voter base

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

it’s a good day for the prime minister of aotearoa to make this not look like a cynical photo op

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

every time Simeon Brown opens his mouth about gangs remember he is 29 years old and lives in Botany Downs

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

‘i never lose’ then getting soup thrown on you and fleeing the country fucking iconic

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

it cost us $130,000 to look after that baby orca, $50,000 less than it costs us to look after david seymour

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

'don't call it an anti vax protest' ok then the mood was electric at today's dumb cunt protest

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

free dental care would be the NANNY STATE but reprogramming children in a military camp is just good solid centrism

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

david seymour eats $4 frozen pizzas and chris luxon takes his wife for dates to the westfield mall we might as well tax the rich theyre up to fuck all with it

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

if you're bored in level 4 just think about the conversation at this table

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 years

quite rich coming from a man who looks like he heads a ring of child pickpockets

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

this is what happens when you leave health education up to a fucking giraffe

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

David Seymour: the shit throwers are my voters Chris Luxon: the shit throwers are MY voters Winston Peters: surprise motherfuckers

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

not saying the South Island is behind the times but the town I’m in has two video shops

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

racism is for cunts and if somebody rings your radio show and spouts eugenics shit and you don’t call them out you’re also a cunt nga mihi brothers and sisters 🙏 💪

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 years

Please remove the bird song from Radio New Zealand I do not speak bird and therefore find it disgusting

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

if COVID gets to the South Island we are fucked lol

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

a capital gains tax would destroy the fair and equitable society we have created

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

10 months

literally never seen this cunt before in my life

1News

@1NewsNZ

10 months

ACT MP to retire from Parliament

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

aotearoa is so good like heres some frozen berries they have hepatitis and theyre $13 we have no eggs

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 years

in solidarity with our MPs I would also like my salary frozen at $160,000 please

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 months

incredible photo journalism on display in aotearoa today

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

nah bro we know you're in sweden or some shit

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 years

Brian Tamaki says it's blasphemous to hold a religious ceremony in Parliament without charging an appropriate entrance fee

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 years

me on FB vs me on Twitter

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

"leader of the opposition is the worst job in nz" clean a festival portaloo you fuck

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

chris luxon is worried about traffic cos he has to drive from home to home to home to home to home to home and then finally home

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

you are as responsible for this ‘freedom’ as gay people are for earthquakes

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

chris luxon devastated to discover there is a house he can't own

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

crack up that so many national mps retire like “sorry I did all that national shit”

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

bro works like 5 hours a day and always looks like a rubbish bin

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

fyi this is 15 x $296,000 and this dude thinks $17,000 a year is too much for young beneficiaries

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

libertarianism is so funny. put me in charge so i can do nothing, as it should be. still pay me hundreds of thousands of dollars a year though

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

sorry but dying outside the hospital because the signs are in te reo would be pretty funny

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

italians have invaded new zealand they are threatening to lean the sky tower

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

closing schools because of an actual flood is not 'racing to lockdown' you conspiracy dog whistling turnip

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

if you destroy all seven of Christopher Luxon’s houses he can be defeated

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

max key worrying about intergenerational debt like his family won't be on an elon musk space ark when the moon explodes

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

7 months

dont know anybody in aotearoa with a basement tbh

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

4 months

blocked so many inadequate little white boys in the last 24 hours i feel like the university of auckland school of medicine

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

have you tried perhaps having policies that are less like eugenics

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 years

shit usually a dog wins it

Newshub

@NewshubNZ

5 years

Canterbury woman wins 2019 New Zealand sheepdog trial title

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

when you finish being pm they let you meet john campbell as a treat

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 years

this covid thing is a scam. anyone who has been to auckland knows it does not have 400 places of interest

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 years

cos they all had dicks mate

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

wouldn't boycott whittaker's even if they killed four children on a factory tour

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

3 months

oh like courtrooms and catholic churches

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 years

everybody here seems perfectly calm

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

10 months

i do like that in times of crisis wayne brown will give you his best guess at whats going on

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

does luxon save a lot of lives and help a lot of people or does he mostly just wear suits and hate the poor

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

dont understand why libraries should be open to everyone. rich people can afford their own books surely

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

chris luxon's first act as leader is to extend simeon brown's bedtime to 9 pm

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

6 months

chris bishop sending an inappropriate message to an adult is actually an improvement

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

every small town in new zealand has at least one museum which is either a delight or a waking nightmare

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 years

*lighting my own tent on fire* this is like the dawn raids

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

1 year

if you have to be like ‘oh boy i hope the nazis dont come and support my cause’ maybe your cause is a fuckin dumpster fire ya cunt

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

2 months

paying an incredibly rich man a regular persons salary because he is living in one of his many houses instead of the taxpayer funded mansion we also pay for is pretty cool

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol

5 months

the welfare system that helped me growing up is precious i love my mum 💕 we should get rid of it now

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Brendan Kelly

@brendankellol