FP&Anon @anonfpa Twitter profile

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Here are the notes a new guy took during our global town hall yesterday

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

3 months

Not invited to the wedding but I got a spot on the Caribbean cruise bachelor party. Win-win?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

3 months

Imagine being permanently offline and chilling this hard

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

@OrwellNGoode

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Vegas is NOT ready for us (35 average looking white guys with gambling and fantasy football addictions)

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 months

WSJ is cooking lately

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

5 months

The zoomers are addicted to Teams reactions. Throwing up❗️under our CFO’s holiday sign-off ping and 💀 under someone complaining about the lack of snow on Christmas

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

27 year old dudes who share Friday Beer posts on Thursday afternoons are going to fucking love this

Dave Portnoy

@stoolpresidente

1 year

I started a watch company. @BrickWatchCo . Here is why.

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

6 months

I have no clue why some of you mfs are dunking your fingers in your drinks

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

11 months

The new analyst keeps reacting “‼️” to my Teams messages?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

@aHyerPower Honestly he killed it, he really captured the essence of a fake town hall where everything mentioned is not reflective of what’s going on behind the scenes

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

8 months

@Miscountedcf A buddy of my buddy is a buddy of mine

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Being in an airport on December 26th leaves me incredibly bullish on $LULU

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

4 months

Joe is no longer with us. We’re thinking of the best way to absorb his responsibilities amongst the existing team and believe it’s best that yo-

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Do you want to stay on for an extra 5 minutes to see if we can’t tie these numbers out?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

I don’t think we talk enough about this atrocity

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Asking gf’s parents for their blessing this weekend. 💍 How should I open?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Don’t mean to sound like that guy, but I’m bummed that Arcteryx transformed from a very solid outerwear company to a seemingly luxury-consumer apparel company. $2k for a parka that is lower quality than their $750 offering in 2020? Oof. Same for most of the LT, SV, AR, etc lines

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

7 months

Our neighbors sat in their driveway with a bonfire and handed out large candy bars. Kids ran right past our house to the candy bars. Scott and Kelly just got themselves tickets to 7am leaf blowing this Saturday

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

I hate to say it but after almost three years of remote work I’m starting to not only miss the office but I’m seeing more examples every day where I would benefit by being in-person

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Revenue came in much higher than expected in the eleventh hour. Asked my cfo if that’s actually a bad sign as it means we sold a bunch of bulk discounts that will for sure impact next Q’s demand. He told me to shut the fuck up

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Hey man you doing okay you haven’t been in the shared drive all night

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

I got >8 hrs sleep for the first time in a long time and immediately slammed one of those Costco silver bullet cold brew cans when I woke up. I feel like I could fight Nate Diaz right now

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

This guy comes up to you and offers to trade his tennis ball for your apple slice. Fair trade or no?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

New jr analyst on the team is always away from 12-1 and offline at 4:30. Every day. Ngmi!

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

5 months

Everyone say one nice thing about Reuben’s new coat

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

It’s a go!

FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Asking gf’s parents for their blessing this weekend. 💍 How should I open?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

They’ve never seen a guy like me take 15mg of gummies and fuck around in the shared drive

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Sometimes I feel like I have fucked up in life but then I remember there are people who film their workspace and hand work off to their associates at 2am 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Some random analyst scheduled a vague hour-long meeting in 30 minutes. I pinged him saying (respectfully) no way and he responds “I am on a call.” If I was in the office it would be bows and toes time

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Best friend finally broke up with his gf of 2+ years that he was way too good for. Like a clear and quantifiable difference in every category. Sending him “sorry brother” texts while fist pumping at my desk

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

At this tailgate and there’s a German exchange student with a vape and coors in her left hand and a marb 72 in the other hand. She’s been through four cigs in 20 mins

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

9 months

Very boneheaded idea to take Reuben to play tennis with us tonight. Guy runs so fast and stops so violently that he ripped both front paw pads up, but that’s his fault

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

7 months

Been there

katie

@skatie420

7 months

my dog won’t stop eating bees. she’s eaten like 5 bees. im going to just let her eat the bees. who cares. she is an idiot creature

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Ngl I like writing $10m as $10mm not $10M or $10m

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Late 30s - 39 In shape - perma bulks and balding $300k - $200k base, $100k bonus never to be seen Condo - overlooking Providence, RI

BowTiedKong

@BowTiedKong

1 year

Good friend is late 30's. In shape, makes over $300k/year, has a condo overlooking a great downtown. He gets consistently ghosted, ignored for days, or is told after a date or two that "this isn't working." Modern women are broken.

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

How do some of you deck-heavy guys (banking, consulting) deal with people editing and changing your work so much? I’m all for comments but kind of frustrating when someone goes wild on your deck and turns it into theirs. Just something to get used to?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

I’m about to watch margin call for the first time

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

6 months

Hearing rumors that Sam left OpenAI to try out FP&A. Guy started with something light and now he’s really ready to flex his muscles

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

21 days

Our Covid-era Gen Z analyst got promoted and immediately ditched the broccoli haircut What does this mean?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

7 months

Happy Halloween. The smaller bowl is for anyone who looks too old to be trick or treating!

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

20 days

The plan:

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Meeting with a guy who went USC(arolina) to F500 internal audit to HBS. That resume just oozes grit

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Owning a dog is just paying $150 for the vet to tell you that you need to change foods. Then the new food blows your dogs ass out, so you end up in a worse spot

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

6 months

Vp called out a check figure that was zero until expanded to the 14th decimal space

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

20 days

The Dyson Airwrap hidden in my closet, overhearing my wife mention how badly she wants one

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

8 months

Couldn’t think of a funny caption but how great is this

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 months

@devahaz I think a lot of people realize this tbh. What bewilders me is those who realize and still move forward with regular orders. To each their own My $0.02 - the price is whatever, delivery always charges a premium, but the quality is what gets me. That burrito will be small & cold

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Dudes in mba programs will say they’re so busy with classes and recruiting and then wake up at 1:30pm on a Friday after three days of going to college dive bars

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Thanks Gunna. Thoughts of corporate finance as a meaningful career?

WUNNA

@1GunnaGunna

2 years

It’s Cool to work a 9-5 no Capp….Getting money is Getting Money .

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

4 months

This guy accidentally ate dinner twice and had the audacity to ask for more!

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

8 months

Boy dinner

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Tried to tell Reuben about this whole bank think but he’s really not that interested guys

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

6 months

Reuben is two! Time really does fly

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

6 months

I’ve cable proofed my desk as much as I possibly can, yet he always finds a way to get interwoven into the sole remaining cable. Should I let him out?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

I’ve accepted that my movie tastes drastically differ from my gf’s. If she says “do you want to watch..” I just say yes. She will fall asleep 30 mins in and that’s when I work on finishing Batman

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Is there ever a reason to not give your peers a 5/5 and kind words on performance reviews? That shit follows them and it’s not my lane - if underperformance is a thing (in this case it is), manager should sniff it out and deal accordingly. Bad take?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Hey Sahil, long time follower. Appreciate the advice. I’m in the hospital with a grade 4 concussion and a broken orbital socket because I was mistaken for a trespasser. Any advice on how to better myself during this 4-6 week hospital stay? Would love a book rec, thanks. -FP&Anon

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

avg WSO contributor

Huntsville Capital

@Huntsvillecap

2 years

@Everything4Fin @anonfpa Lol sit the f down little boy. Keep dreaming that your non target Kelley data analytic program will place your in the industry. I’ll literally bet you my life that, BEST CASE, you’ll land a gig in back office lol. Go run my pnl boy and don’t speak again until you’re asked

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Boss man tells us at 3:30pm to take a half day after a great week. Boss man also still wants to do a deck review “later today”

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

9 months

He’s really milking this! Thanks for all the kind words, I gave Reu a treat from each and every one of you

FP&Anon

@anonfpa

9 months

Very boneheaded idea to take Reuben to play tennis with us tonight. Guy runs so fast and stops so violently that he ripped both front paw pads up, but that’s his fault

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Wearing my nice watch and nice pants, working on my okay laptop waiting to board my nice plane (comfort+) where I will travel to the promised land (Minneapolis) to fulfill my god-given duties (issue 2H spending targets) Never enough time on this world but I’m where I need to be

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Sorry babe I can’t text about wedding planning right now, I’m too busy prepping for the GMAT (asking r/MBA if a 770 would get me into IU Kelley)

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Nothing better than a “let’s go to bed early night” 1. Spend 25 minutes alone with my thoughts. Finally fall asleep 2. Wake up drooling 14 minutes later 3. Rip a piss 4. Wide awake and on phone until midnight

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

I don’t even follow autism capital yet I think I see each and every tweet of his

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 month

When my wife asked if used the nice eggs to make an egg white omelette

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Update from Reuben’s daycare - “he really likes watermelon”

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Somber day to say the least. My fiancée’s childhood friend lost her aunt in the Highland Park shooting earlier today. The rest of her family got out safely. It’s always hard to imagine the loss and severity of these tragic events, but today makes it a whole lot easier. Horrible.

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

6 months

Why won’t you animals just drink coffee?

CPG WIRE

@cpgwire

6 months

Celsius launched their new Essentials line nationwide at 7-Eleven. Celsius Essentials features added aminos and 270mg of caffeine along with a larger can. Last quarter, Celsius revenue surged 112% to $326M.

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

3 months

Our IR team is pretty frazzled today, understandably. Lots of triple checking going on

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Groomed guy before the big day 👰‍♀️ 🤵‍♂️

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

POV you already had two saltines and you’re not getting another

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

4 months

Too cold to grill so I tried my hand with the cast iron. No reverse sear because this was a tiny ribeye, so just ~2 mins each side, followed by a garlic butter and rosemary baste finish Pretty rich tbh but a very welcomed change

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

5 months

Lots and lots of late morning/early afternoon meetings getting canceled today. Everyone wants to hit the ground running until they hit the ground!

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

8 months

Needed this!

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Just got a “thanks buddy” from my VP, what does this mean?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

So dramatic, all but blocks me from leaving

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Spending $105,550 on a 2023 Yukon XL Denali Ultimate to take my three year old kid and 55lb retriever on a weekend trip to the Wisconsin dells

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Some kid today in a polo three sizes too large asked if I too was an intern

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Nothing more exciting than going out to dinner with all of my fiancée’s med school friends. They wouldn’t understand the importance of FP&A even if I tried, so I just listen and ask questions like technically could you walk if your knees were elbows and then my fiancée shhs me

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Visiting buddy At his mba program and it turns out it’s just college again ?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Three likes and I will free Reuben (he got stressed from guests upstairs and chewed up paper towel from the trash)

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

My lulu plug is formally putting his two weeks in 😓 Had a good run of 40% off ridiculously overpriced yet comfy clothes

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

“I don’t think this email was clear enough”. Buddy it was more than clear. Corporate finance is basically assuming grown men and women in a professional setting can’t think for themselves. It’s like explaining colors to a toddler most of the time

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

6 months

I’m quickly learning that the more you host the cleaner your house tends to be

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Bonus and post-raise $$ hit the personal ledger today,,, god damn I may just have to take the team out to Applebees for a steak entree and 12/$1 boom boom shrimp

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Took a few YouTube videos but we got it tied. Please I’m begging you not to @ the fashion guy

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

5 months

James when the birth of his child is interrupted by @privateinequity ’s request for a 15-slide deck on the best wine pairings at client dinners

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Made the big adult decision to hire full service movers for our move coming up. Fuck moving! Happy day

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Just want everyone to know I woke up with a migraine at 5am and still powered through the work day and didn’t push back meetings I had. Just want everyone to know I was a strong and mentally tough member of the corporate workforce today.

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

“As much as I hate the idea of working over the weekend” my VP says, right before asking me to work over the weekend

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

1 year

Saw this kitchen renovation. I’ll preface by saying I hate, hate, hate white cabinets, but honestly is the before > after here?

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

Wow that’s crazy bro a Friday Beers Instagram story on Thursday morning??? You must be drinking this weekend 🤪😩😤

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

8 months

Incredible range

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

2 years

I know a girl (late 20s) who got a new job in New York (fully remote) and decided to move to NYC. She has like 5 roommates in Chelsea and works in what looks like a jail cell with one singular monitor. I just can’t help but judge the shit out of her for every choice she’s made

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FP&Anon

@anonfpa

10 months

Reuben is not reacting well to getting utterly embarrassed by a skunk last night. I caught him watching Jocko Willink and David Goggins hype edits at 5am. He hasn’t said a word and continues to stare into the backyard, focused on the next encounter.