anna spargo-ryan 🍉 @annaspargoryan Twitter profile

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

2 years

Thanks for being interested in my book! It's for anyone who's ever felt alone in their mind, afraid for no reason, sad and lost, and/or has loved someone who feels like that. It's available on paper, digitally and in audiobook form. Links:

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Just walked past a woman gently rocking a newborn in her arms, whispering, "I'm going to teach you so many swear words."

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@annaspargoryan

1 year

I've been trying to figure out why my laptop has been randomly rebooting in the night. Anyway I just watched as my cat stood on the power button until the restart sound chimed, then meowed back at it.

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@annaspargoryan

6 years

Years ago I sought writing advice from a man who said he’d help me if I fucked him. Now I have more writing credits and awards than he does, so I guess I did fuck him, in a way.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

6 years

What is the answer! Please help me!

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@annaspargoryan

6 years

I’m writing about baby pelicans so I looked for photos to help me describe them and it turns out: testicle swan.

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@annaspargoryan

5 years

~young female students aren’t nearly as attracted to their literature professors as those professors imagine them to be~

cope

@cdcxpe

5 years

What’s your hottest literature take?

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

10 months

Today my kid bought a plain black t-shirt and a bottle of laundry bleach and tonight it looks like this

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

My friend @whysamiam1 walked through St Pancras station in London and there's Eddie fucking Izzard just playing her heart out on this random piano

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

When I was 20 I used to take my baby to uni with me; I didn’t drive so we would catch two trains and then she would scream down the lecture theatre until we were asked to leave. This morning I drove her to the bus stop for her own first day at the same uni ❤️

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

My 73-year-old dad just submitted his PhD 🎉❤️

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Most women look at Scott Morrison like that, we’re just not burdened by being part of his self-promotional photo ops at the time.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Imagine screwing up the vaccine rollout so badly that you’d rather talk about the time you definitely shit your pants

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

5 years

We need to stop saying this is “not what Australia is”. It’s exactly what we are. Not me, and probably not you, but us. We are led by white supremacists, controlled by regressive media and at the mercy of corrupt corporations while still living on stolen land.

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

15 years ago, when I left my husband, and I was 24 and had two small children and hardly any money, my car was repossessed. It was humiliating. I felt so stupid for thinking I could do it alone. THIS is the very last payment on my current car 😭 I did it.

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

I just said “they’ve got Buckley’s” to my 34-year-old sister and she didn’t know what I meant. People know what that means, right?

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

5 years

A feel-good video game story thread: Last night we were playing Fallout 76, which is an online multiplayer game. Because of the way the gameplay works, you mostly don't interact with other people, but my boyfriend and I play on a team of two.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

5 years

I've decided to go out of my way to make sure my success comes at the expense of Scott Morrison

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Do you ever just feel like the Prime Minister should learn to do the job he has before he starts trying to do other people’s jobs

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

6 years

RT if you’ve ever gone to a movie because Michelle Williams was in it.

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

A friend’s primary schooler figured out how to turn on captions while his teacher read out the spelling test words. Aced it.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Shane Warne was the second man I ever loved, after my dad. My bedroom walls were covered in pictures of him. I used to sit in the car in the summer heat and listen to his overs in private, so I could feel close to him. I was a creepy 12-year-old.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

It's #PalindromeDay ! "Palindrome" was the first big word I learned because my name is a palindrome, and you'd better believe I said it as much as was humanly possible

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

I called to make a vaccination appointment and the nice person on the other end told me there aren’t any available and to call again next week. I said “Oh, that's no problem!” and he started crying. Sounds like people are being pricks again.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Six months later: folks.

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@annaspargoryan

4 years

Shoutout to my dog who pretended he needed to go outside so he could let the cat escape. While I chased the cat, dog ran back in and ate my sandwich.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

I had a husband with very traditional ideas about gender roles and the thing that’s important to know is we’re fucking divorced as fuck now

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

5 years

The church demanded I do couples' counselling with my abusive ex. It prolonged my leaving, exposed me to further harm and made me feel like the abuse was my fault. Don't vote for this policy. This is not what family violence support looks like.

Women's Safety NSW

@womenssafetynsw

5 years

Government announces $10mil for couples counselling & mediation for families impacted by #DomesticViolence against expert advice. @KellyODwyer @LindaBurneyMP @tanya_plibersek @sarahinthesen8 @AWAVA_women @ANROWS @OurWatchAus @NTVorg @NOW_aust @welaust

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Some personal news: I’ve been seeing a new psychologist for the past 18 months, a trauma specialist. Today I had my mental health care plan reviewed and although my anxiety is well off the charts, I scored “NORMAL” for depression for the first time in my entire life.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

It’s cute the way Australia Post still sends an email saying “your parcel is coming today!” as though I have any idea which parcel they mean

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

I still call it "Safeway" so honestly the BOM stands no chance with me

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

My Nanna (97) is moving into a room closer to her nursing room boyfriend (95) ❤️

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

Lucky, conservatives agree that given Trump is a grandparent, it’s ok if he dies.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

5 years

Can you still be a church if you’re actually a paedophile ring

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

I'm going to write a book set in a neighbourhood Facebook group. It will just be requests for good local GPs and one guy asking if anyone knows why there's a helicopter circling.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

9 months

If I had to take a penalty in a World Cup, I'd simply walk towards the goal and then keep walking until I found the ocean and drowned in it

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

SHE GOT IN I'M SO PROUD I'M LITERALLY VIBRATING

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

6 years

“Australians must guard against compassion” is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Well done Dutton, you absolute flog.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

OK I have to tell you a story. It begins in my local pool sometime in September 2021.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Breaking: independents won't "vote as a block", almost as though they are independent

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

ALSO: MY YEAR 12 KID SMASHED HER VCE AND WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY GET AN OFFER FOR HER FIRST PREFERENCE COURSE 😭

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Hands up if you've ever smiled for a dickhead and later wished you'd had the support not to

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Today my kid hosted the first meeting of the queer action group they started at school. About 30 baby queers came along and the principal had all these rainbow cupcakes delivered 😭 I am the proudest gal in existence.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Last year I sent an invoice to a (then) client for about 15 hours of work. When it was a month overdue, I sent a gentle reminder. They wrote back that they "thought I said it would be free". Now they're just ignoring my contact altogether. Freelancing rules.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

I went to pick up a click and collect today and this was in the bag 🎄😍

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Minister Anne Ruston (social services) on @triplejHack saying young people should try getting a job in "something they've never tried before" as though it's not already impossible to find a job in something they DO have experience in.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

God I wish my trans teenager could vote this year, but just like gender affirmation surgery, they’re not old enough.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Did I vote against Tim Wilson properly? Did I push the pencil hard enough into the paper? Did I go "fuck you Tim Wilson" in a powerful enough whisper?

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

Politeness isn't actually important to misogynists. When was the last time you heard them say "please" to a woman? They're interested in our subservience, control and silence only.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Shoutout to every anxiety-riddled workaholic currently making meticulous and complex plans for how to relax for the next 4 days

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

If a student submitted this I would fail them

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@annaspargoryan

4 years

My 95-year-old Nanna's 93-year-old boyfriend is ghosting her in the nursing home where they both live

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

This week is one year since I started trying to run. In August '21 I could run for 15 seconds and my feet barely left the ground. This morning I ran 8km and it was fun and energising? Bodies are amazing.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Couldn't remember the words "annual checkup" so told the vet Henry was here for his performance review

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@annaspargoryan

1 year

Sorry your posh children won't get their tiny trust funds anymore, NSW :(

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

5 years

Just a reminder that some Millennials are 38 years old and have been in the workforce for two decades. #muffinbreak

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Just a word on Covid, right, I had very mild symptoms. Hardly anything. Almost normal. When I'd been testing negative for a few days, I decided, since I hadn't been very sick, it would be ok to go for a run. It wasn't!!!! Do not do this.

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@annaspargoryan

1 year

When I was 13 I decided I really wanted to be the kind of person who crossed her 7s. Still the longest I've ever kept a new year's resolution.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Imagining Scott Morrison feeling sad about Biden not knowing his name will get me through the rest of the week

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

@TimWilsonMP Hi Tim! I've lived in Goldstein for coming up on 20 years. I care about climate, trans rights, refugees, welfare recipients, public housing and access to education. If you truthfully believe what you're tweeting, your constituents owe it to themselves to vote against you.

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@annaspargoryan

4 years

I just saw a man taking a trolley full of hot pizza into Coles for their staff ❤️

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@annaspargoryan

5 years

For four hours, we hung out with this funny, generous, kind group of internet dads. I went to bed at 2am with the dorkiest warm feeling in my heart. Anyway, sometimes the internet is good. I'm going to play with them again tonight.

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

I can't believe I have reason to tweet this, but: if you're planning to come to my book launch because you've somehow got the idea we might have a romantic connection, could you stay home? If you make me uncomfortable at my own book launch, my dad will chuck you out SO FAST.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

He's been doing this for a while

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

My kid just came home and said “Morrison is a pissbaby who doesn’t know how to run a country.”

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@annaspargoryan

4 years

You guys my dog has taken my cat who died's blanket to her bed and is just lying there looking sad

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@annaspargoryan

4 years

I'm an online-only teacher. I thought it might be useful to tweet a wee thread of things that help me and my students to learn in this environment, as more and more will enter online learning for the first time.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

6 years

Hey @ScottMorrisonMP I don't care about lower electricity bills! I'll pay mine and someone else's if it means my grandchildren have a planet to live on.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Buying books ✅ Reading books ❌❌❌❌❌❌

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

My kid’s homegroup teacher sent me an email last week to: 1. Show me how to change their name in the school records, so their teachers wouldn’t deadname them. 2. Explain she had asked them about pronouns and wanted to confirm she would use “they/them” from now on.

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

My 15yo gave an English oral presentation about rape in Australia. In his feedback, her teacher wrote that her statistics “might need further qualification” because “1 in 5 women is an enormous statistic.” Sure, I mean. Yes it is.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

I ate some chocolate but I wasn’t concentrating properly so now I have to eat some more chocolate

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

Oh boy. Friends, what a joy to introduce my book to you and regurgitate my feelings publicly!! 😭🥹

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

✨✨ Just a reminder to please vote out the Morrison government. Thank you, have a wonderful day ✨✨

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

Do you know what: being a victim of domestic violence can be really, really embarrassing. I have been so ashamed. Trying to leave under those conditions is more complex than you can imagine.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

My dad is kitten-sitting for my brother and as you can tell, he hates it

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

If we’ve ever interacted on Twitter, even one time, I call you “my friend” when I mention you to my family

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

"It's such a beautiful day!" I remark, closing the blinds so I don't get glare on my playstation

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

Look at my adorable Dad/Santa being awarded his PhD today 😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

I needed a couple of fitted sheets, so I went off to my local linen store. Well. There is a huge sale on today, and every blonde woman in my posh council area was there.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

10 months

2 years ago today, this woman bought a sports bra in the hope she might be less than 100% sedentary by her 40th birthday. Shoutout to Past Anna for her gumption. It was hard and confronting for a really long time. Yesterday I ran 14km, fell over, got up and kept going.

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

In news that will shock everyone, Nepean Highway is bumper to bumper with Mornington Peninsula-bound SUVs.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Afternoon me: "We'll do the work tonight." Night me: "We'll get up early and do the work." Early morning me: "We can do this at lunchtime." Lunchtime me: "Afternoon." Afte

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@annaspargoryan

4 years

Friends, Coles just called me at 7:30pm and reimbursed me for the missing order even though it was really my fault for not bringing it in fast enough 😭😭😭 My chocolate is not here but it is in my future once again ❤️❤️

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

3 years

Once again, the government asks women to be grateful they’re not murdering us. (Their actions are murdering us.)

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

4 years

My 14yo delivering a solid clapback to her ultra-conservative grandmother (not my mother!), so proud

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@annaspargoryan

4 years

Every single person should read DARK EMU. I will send a copy to the first 5 people to reply to this tweet. And I will send a copy of YOUNG DARK EMU (the version for young readers) to another 5 people to give to their kid/nibling/student/friend. Hit me up.

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

I miss lockdown, when you could walk your dog on the golf course without being yelled at by smug retirees who need 8 hectares of green space all to themselves

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

I gave my kid sculpting clay for Christmas and they made me these earrings

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

I think of all the people I want to not hear about, I want to not hear about Bec Judd the most

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

Hmm what could be different about all the$e $uburb$ I wonder. It'$ a real my$tery.

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

This thread is a safe space for today. Only love and friendship and cute animals. Come in when you need ❤️

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@annaspargoryan

5 years

@fraser_anning The link is that racist fucks commit violence against Muslim immigrants. You’re welcome.

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

The best thing about the park is when frustrated owners start calling their dogs by their full names. This woman just shouted "FRANKLIN ORANGE HASTINGS!!!"

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

Do other parents have contacts in their phone like “Ava’s dad I think” and “Sienna’s Mum (Angela??)”

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@annaspargoryan

1 year

Me: [letting someone go first in traffic] Please, friend, after you. I am so kind, a generous and empathetic soul, simply no agenda whatsoever. Them: [doesn't wave] Me: I hope you die. I hope your car explodes and then regenerates and explodes a second time.

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

I wanted you to see this

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@annaspargoryan

5 years

- Raise Newstart - Support penalty rates - Create real jobs - Welcome asylum seekers and immigrants - Stop robodebts - Fund services - Stop Indigenous deaths in custody - Close the camps - Stop being a massive racist misogynist - Also, just leave

Scott Morrison

@ScoMo30

5 years

Suicide takes far too many Australians, devastating families and local communities. One life lost to suicide is one too many, which is why my Government is working towards a zero suicide goal.

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@annaspargoryan

2 years

Once again grieving for everything the world had missed because ambitious, talented, hard-working women have had to set their own lives aside for men like this.

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anna spargo-ryan 🍉

@annaspargoryan

2 years

My kid was listening to Eminem's Stan and said "I wish the whole song was the intro because when he comes in I'm like, no thanks." So I whacked on Dido and blew their mind.

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@annaspargoryan

3 years

Another idea might be to trust that women have done their own research and know their own minds. I realise this is controversial.

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