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Amelia Tait Profile
Amelia Tait

@ameliargh

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freelance features writer @guardian @nytimes @obsmagazine @wireduk @vice @britishgq @newscientist @empiremagazine @newstatesman @stylistmagazine etc.

Joined February 2009
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
Over the last few months, I've been buying and developing old forgotten films from eBay. This is one of my favourite things I've written this year, and I'd love for you to check it out!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
1 year
I just accidentally uploaded this instead of my invoice on a company's invoicing portal and I can't delete it
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 months
I am - and simply cannot not be!! - fascinated by the subtle variations in the "green man" around the world. In France he is so tall and slender. In Denmark he has a strong chest. Germany's is the most iconic, of course, but what of the sharp tailoring of Japan's!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
it just came to me but I have no doubts: the muppet lord of the rings
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
I try not to be a jealous person but it can be difficult watching others live out your dreams
@ej_holloway
Ed Holloway
2 years
Massively proud of my daughter who just received a badge for (checks notes) walking to a nearby chip shop and eating some chips
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
when will art house cinemas start selling tango ice blasts. I am a fan of profound cinema AND blue raspberry
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
phone notes are wild because one minute they're like "patatas bravas, manchego, olives" and the next they're all "I envy the moon, for it cannot be captured on camera". there's no clearer window into the chaos of the soul
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I can promise you this now: never again will I walk by a seaside shack selling extortionately priced mini sugared doughnuts, the grease seeping through a crinkling white paper bag, and not part with six of my hard earned English pounds
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
sometimes i wish it was 2009 so i could tweet an emotional song lyric and you could all go "omg what's wrong? inbox me" and i could go "it's just song lyrics hun x"
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 months
SECRETS. LIES. SEASONINGS. For over a year, I’ve been searching for the answer to a very important question: who decides which countries get which crisp flavours? Some of the things I found out made my jaw drop. Here is my investigation:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I analysed 300 starters/mains/puds on Come Dine With Me to determine which dishes most frequently win. There is no way to explain why I have done what I have done; know only that I have done it
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 months
I surveyed 1,300+ Disney adults and wrote about how they are not some kind of spontaneous accident, but a character created by the Walt Disney Company just as much as Donald Duck:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
my favourite thing about writing is googling extremely common words followed by "definition" just so I can be sure that I do actually understand what words mean
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I hate when you walk up to a traffic light and the person stood there hasn’t even pressed the button. Who are you and why do you think you’re better than the green man??
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
made a tiny spaghetti, lived my life to the full
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
once again, I am devastated by the mere expectation that I should have to do my job
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
For the @NewStatesman , I wrote about an idle fantasy I have basically any time I’m in public:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
At the “Do you remember the taste of strawberries, Mr Frodo?” stage of lockdown
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
Bring Charles Dickens back from the dead so I can look him in the eye and say it was the Muppets who elevated his work to high art
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 months
Twenty years ago, you only had to get to question eight out of 15 on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? to be most of the way towards a house deposit; now you have to get to question 11. 💰💷📉 I wrote about how TV prize money ain't what it used to be!!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
A few months back I idly Googled “where did the dun dun duun sound effect come from” only to discover… Google had no official answers. THUS BEGAN A VERY IMPORTANT INVESTIGATION:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
11 months
I hesitated to share this because truthfully I'm not sure I meant to write it and I don't dare read it back. The hardest thing I've ever written is about the dumbest things I ever wrote:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Remake Normal People but make it entirely about Joanna, the true Normal Person, the true legend
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Bf who licks pregnancy tests ❌ fake Bf who gets into fights with a chef at Waffle House ❌ fake Bf who hates his Disney gf ❌ fake I spoke with the authors of fake r/relationships posts about why they do it and why we are so eager to believe:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
10 months
There comes a time in every journalist's life when they must ask: Is there an editor out there brave, intelligent and attractive enough to send me to the Pingu exhibition in Japan?
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
This is easily my favourite story I worked on last year and I am so pleased it's out at last!!! 🍬🍫🍭 WHY ARE THERE ***NINE*** AMERICAN SWEET SHOPS ON OXFORD STREET?? An investigation:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
I see so much negativity about freelancing + I just want to weigh in for anyone considering it that I personally find it extremely enjoyable + v lucrative + have substantially better mental health than when staff. every experience is diff, but would hate for people to be put off!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I got into journalism to tackle the tough, big questions. Like: if I let myself, how many packets of crisps would I eat in a day?
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Some personal news: I have fulfilled a life long dream; I have achieved everything I set out to achieve
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Mad to me that eye tests still rely on the disturbing dance of “is that better? Or worse?” It’s 2020 bitch I CAN’T TRUST MY OWN MIND
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
80% of the reason I travel is to try flavours of crisps that aren’t flavours of crisps in England
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
asked my boyf how to cancel dinner plans and he sincerely advised saying "sorry I can't come to dinner, I'm full up"
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Extremely excited to send today's issue of my newsletter: an interview with the woman whose teapots were destroyed on Changing Rooms. 🫖 Sign up to get it in your inbox: 🫖
@appehmichael
chawner tears
7 years
Remembering the infamous Changing Rooms Teapot Disaster of 2000. Just glorious.
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
I really love helping people get their first bylines, or their first byline at somewhere they really want to write for. If you have 0 idea what you're doing + 0 connections (like me when I started out!!) then pls email me with QUESTIONS, especially dumb ones you're afraid to ask
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 months
The thing about Mad Men being the best show ever made is that isn’t just like… slightly better than the second best show ever made. It’s on an entire page by itself. It’s like it’s a different format. It’s so much better than anything else. I have to say it!!!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
It's jarring to watch Christmas adverts during an election campaign – on the one hand people sob at imaginary orphans getting imaginary oranges, and on the other Corbyn is disparaged for suggesting free school meals for all kids – so I wrote about it:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
1 year
@Lucywwatson “after spending his money, this man doesn’t have his money anymore” is such a take!!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
sincerely very little I enjoy more than going to a different country and seeing what’s in their supermarket and McDonald’s
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
You never see a millionaire/billionaire build a folly anymore. It's all about vast, empty, cavernous homes and like, trips to space. Why even be rich if you're not going to build an elaborate, freaky, useless building!!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
I have crafted lil earrings in honour of the ice creams I ate yesterday and will also definitely eat today
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
It’s my one year freelance anniversary!!! ✨☺️
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
Here follows an account of why The Muppet Lord of the Rings must be made, else I shall throw myself on the floor and SCREAM:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 months
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
8 months
Found a book cover that looks like a bag of Sainsbury's cookies. La dolce vita!!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
cover your eyes HATERS because Facebook has reminded me it’s six years since I made this Bag End cake (for my own birthday, very cool)
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Why do mums like Live, Laugh, Love decor so much? What do they think of the fact it's now so meméd? Journalism, the investigative stuff, by me:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
re: the shocking news that most journalists are private schooled, i find the people who most often email me for advice are private schooled/oxbridge/or could afford to go to City. pls, my normal schooled comrades, if ur stuck, reach out!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
Pitching is a fundamentally broken system and I'm not just saying that because I want to write 1,500 words entitled "The case for Muppet Lord of the Rings" and don't know who to send it to
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
1 year
I love when someone's surname is Drinkwater because we all do it but their ancestors must have done it REALLY well
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
I have written a history of gunge feat. a broken collarbone, a stained linen suit, the “subversive politics” of The Demon Headmaster, and the words, “I wouldn’t have done it to him, he was a knight of the realm.”
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
Can anyone else feel the weight of a recent copy/paste in your fingers, and then you have to copy like a random letter "a" so you don't feel like you're dragging a block of text around the internet?
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
chatting on whatsapp like this instead of writing everything out in one paragraph is extremely perilous and leads to so much miscommunication but i will never stop
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
for many years, I have considered the statement "dreams come true" to be trite and overly optimistic. I stand before you a humbled man
@daiseaaa
daisy
4 years
we’re living in 2020 the shop near my new work that sells pic n mix frozen potato products is living in 2050
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I spoke with people who got meme tattoos years ago about how they feel now the memes in question are dead:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
The “be kind” defence from this influencer reminds me of this pitch I wrote two weeks ago (but alas didn’t get commissioned) about the “myth of positivity” in online culture and how it’s used to deflect valid criticisms
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@thismorning
This Morning
3 years
'My job is to motivate people' Sheridan has been in Dubai since the start of January, on an 'essential work-trip’ to provide sunny content for her followers. Following an online backlash, she joins us today to defend her position. Watch the full chat 👉
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
top 3 moments in cinema: • treebeard taking the ents to war • gandalf (having power here and) freeing theoden • the beacons of minas tirith being lit
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
I did a deep dive into how capitalism swallowed veganism (and rebranded it as "plant-based" to avoid "connotations around animal rights"!!!):
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
The day after you have fish and chips is the worst day. The only 24 hours you have to accept with full certainty that you're not having fish and chips today
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
how are you all so sure that you're right about everything, every single day! remarkable! i haven't ever been sure of anything! i don't even agree with the sentences i've just typed!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I am insanely fascinated by what gets left on the shelves. Anyone got any good pics/examples??
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
do you ever imagine ur messages being read out in court and wonder how you would explain urself?? "Miss Tait, at 10am you wrote: 'I am just a small egg boy, a small small baby egg'. Please elaborate"
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
It’s a cliché that if you ask the internet for relationship advice, they’ll tell you to “dump them”. So I spoke to the people who actually did...
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
1 year
Bravely, three weeks late, in a move that may have me beaten up like a SCROTE, I've written about how Happy Valley is extremely tory + some of the most abject copaganda I've watched in recent years 🤪
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
remembering fondly the time i tried to get religious officials to comment on whether 1 like actually does = 1 prayer and absolutely no priests would go on the record
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
20 years ago, a new film, game or TV show couldn't be released without an accompanying novelty bubble bath bottle. Why? How? WHERE’VE THEY GONE? Delighted with the gorgeous imagery on my VSI (very serious investigation) into the 90s/00s bubble bath boom:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
for me a symbol of the pandemic is the ever-present (now year old!!) Onward ads on London buses. Blessed today to see one so sun damaged that its colours have been inverted
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
@cinemashoebox Excuse the screenshot but it is decided
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
1 year
What if you went an entire year without criticising your body or wanting to change it in any way? I wrote about resolutions, TikTok surgery trends and why you should aim for a "new year, same old body"!!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
note to editors: I’m currently available to be flown to little known European principalities to profile handsome but troubled princes with stern but ultimately well meaning mothers
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
For @nytimes I wrote about the phenomenon of former prisoners making a name on YouTube. Would love if you had a chance to read it!
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
9 months
There seems to be an omertà around Colleen Hoover - no one wants to seem like a snob so journalists examine her as a phenomenon, refusing to critique the writing itself. I read 5 of her currently bestselling books, which means I had to break that silence:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I want to write an essay about the unparalleled joy of hiding away in toilet stalls but I’m not sure that’s remotely possible to pitch
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Icymi I wrote an oral history of Changing Rooms and discovered in the process that one man has kept his MDF greek nudes for TWENTY YEARS (they now adorn his garden tortoise sanctuary):
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
Why are there "YouTubers", "Instagrammers", and "TikTokers", but there's no such thing as a "Facebooker"? I spoke with LadBaby, the hitmaker you've never heard of, to explore the ~extremely~ weird world of "Facebook fame":
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
It was fascinating diving into the rise and fall of the YouTube "Brit Crew", who once completely dominated the platform. Many haven't uploaded for years. I spoke with some of them about the pressure to film, chasing clicks, and ageing out of your audience:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
2 years
It’s truly fascinating to me that anyone still speaks about reality TV as if it’s real, or judges contestants as if they remotely know them. This is a fascinating video – it’s stuff we all know and yet somehow ignore, and therefore it’s invaluable when it’s spoken aloud
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
just realised how weird it is he's called the "coughing major" when he wasn't the one coughing. from now on, i'd like to suggest that we call him the "listening major"
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
“not like other girls” claims are automatically nonsense, but this is so next level as to be DELIGHTFUL
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
I wrote about why coverage of the "deadly suicide game" the "Momo challenge" is incredibly stupid and dangerous, and how British tabloids have scared parents based on one comment in the "Love Westhoughton" Facebook group:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
been on my mind for a while and I really want to get it off my chest: the concept of an m&m pick n mix (as seen in m&m stores worldwide) makes no sense as you are merely selecting colours, not flavours
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 months
Uncouth to tweet your own work while a website may or may not be dying, but gosh, I really miss writing like this!! Where lets you write like this these days??
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
1 year
have come to the library to work and there's a toddler group singing "what shall we do with the drunken sailor" only the eponymous seafarer has been replaced with the words "lazy baby". curious that cancel culture critics remain silent
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
Trialling “I’m sorry, I can’t, I only ever want to have a nice time” email replies
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
do you know what's stressful? everything
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Another horseman of the apocalypse rears its head
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
9 months
I wrote about product placement in Haunted Mansion and Barbie and how they now put adverts INSIDE of adverts. I was surprised to learn that Birkenstock did not collaborate with Barbie (!) but Duolingo did (!!):
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
If you eat a meal deal today, you're not actually eating *a* meal – you're technically eating 5 or 6 portions of food. I wrote about how and why supermarket serving suggestions are so wild:
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
6 years
@sillyolddaniel everything's better down where it's wetter
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
3 years
Just found out via a LinkedIn tag that I won an award because a teenager nominated me!! That is: Very Nice. Tyvm @behindlocalnews 🌸🏅🍾
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
Putting mean thoughts online is a public health issue
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
This makes so little sense that I have now convinced myself it’s art
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
Remarkable that with all the essays about performing selfhood online, no one has yet dedicated 2,000 words to swinging a digital camera from a strap on your wrist at a university club night, and uploading 400 pictures to Facebook the next day
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
I do not - and cannot - say this lightly, but: beep beep motherfuckers
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
mini clay ice cream and strawberries by me, no questions, only admiration, thank you
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
5 years
Twitter needs an “are you sure you want to amplify this?” pop-up before quote tweeting
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@ameliargh
Amelia Tait
4 years
me: time to think of pitches for these turbulent times my brain: whoever invented those plastic Pringle holders in the 90s was faced with a problem (“Johnson, children aren’t taking our snacks to school”) and came up with not only a solution, but an art form. Who are they, how d
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