Training | Speaking | Consultancy | Award Winning Author | Director of
@TICSltd
| Researcher on Edu, care, & belonging | Labour Councillor | Living with Myeloma
I'm literally ecstatic by how well the book has been received. So many fab books out this year. So THANK YOU for reading this one; a book entirely focused on examples of practise to bring relationships to the core of everything, whatever sector you work in
When I find out the name of the school sanctioning a child in care who fought back after being bullied by removing access to a hot meal I shall make a lot of noise!Withdrawing food as a 'punishment' from ANY child, let alone a child in care, is abuse! We must never tolerate this
We need a national conversation about the mental health epidemic facing our children and young people. Guess what? The answer does not lie in CAMHS. The answer does not lie in pathologising our CYP. The answers for most children lie in focusing on supporting good MH and wellbeing
I took a complimentary copy of my book round to my mother's. I said "are you inviting me in for a tea?" Much mumbling about being busy followed and that was that. Complicated relationships remain so. Emotional unavailability remains so. Even at 51, I sometimes still feel it.
There is something inherently misogynistic about being told by a male GP that you need a blood test to prove you're in the menopause. Nobody told me I'd have have to deal with such nonsense. Why are we are not talking about this???
If I hear of another setting saying they've 'done' trauma training I think I shall combust!
1. It's never done. It is a constant reflection and inquiry.
2. It is not a tick box exercise. It is a way of being that requires deep exploration
3. Your trainer needs to make this clear
A 'trauma' lens invites us to look at structural inequalities, inequity and social structures. A 'mental health' lens locates the problem within the individual as something that sits inside them, that the individual has. This narrative is everywhere I look. This must be resisted.
5. I have, however, been asked to remove my tweet. I will not. I am not here to blame. I am highlighting a practice that needs calling out and must not be ignored. It is an employees market. Refuse to engage in this practice. You are not easily replaced! Take a stand!
**HERE IT IS**
I cannot tell you how proud of
@routledgebooks
I am for creating this beautiful cover for my next book. It is simply stunning! A good news story to end the week
Pre order here & here
People often ask me is it worth it? (Doing a
#PhD
in my 50s). It has sharpened me in every way; my work, my thinking, my knowledge base, my approaches, my absolute dedication to why I do what I do and have been committed to for over 3 decades. Yes, I reply, very bloody worth it!
When arriving to a hotel breakfast, I'm invariably asked "is it just you"? I've taken to responding "no my lovely. It is me. All of me." This is received with jubilation by women and utter confusion by men.
Be fabulous today. Whatever that looks like for you ❤️
So a social worker says "that's not my job, I'm not an educator" and an educator says "that's not my job, I'm not a social worker" and the child suffers. Don't let people get away with that nonsense. Call it. Gently of course. But call it we must...
1. Considering that I work within complexity and across every sector, everyday & have done for decades, I rarely 'go public' with my outrage. I don't ever 'name and shame' because I understand that there is always a bigger picture but sometimes, an 'issue' needs to be highlighted
If you're working with people, you're working with trauma.
It's not 'over there', it's not something that happens to 'them' and not 'us' (or 'us' and not 'them'), it's not something you don't need to think about.
If you're working with people, you're working with trauma.
2. Withdrawing hot food, I have learnt today, is within 'behaviour' policies & is called 'silent lunch.' The removal of hot food is deliberately used as a punishment in our schools. Yes, you read that right... in the middle of a 'cost of living crisis' removing food is a sanction
I have set up a networking space that is purely for all things Trauma Informed Practice. You are very welcome. It is 2 days old and therefore at the early stages of growth. It is free, it is relevant and it is interactive with it's own app. DM me for link to join x
I have been so showered in love, wrapped in a blanket of love, nurtured and held, sent endless gifts and cards as I navigate a new stage in my life. THANK YOU ❤️ I managed to get dressed up and go out last night for an hour or so which was so hard but I will always show up as ME.…
This is key: it doesn't matter what service you offer, what approach, how many certificates are held. It all happens in relationship. So if you don't have that, you don't have anything at all. Relationships ARE the work. So relationships ARE the priority.
I am utterly exhausted. I have had to cancel training on Monday. I'm sharing this because people often say to me where do you get the energy? How do you keep going? I dont want people to think of me as superhuman because that would be a lie. I'm to be found on the sofa. Resting.
A misunderstanding about trauma is the notion that recovery from it is about 'going back' to the person we were before trauma. We are in a constant state of adapting to experiences and relationships throughout life! There is never a place to go back to. We integrate.
#trauma
I cannot stand the phrase 'giving voice.' You don't 'give voice' like you decide who can speak. People have 'voice.' What is often missing is being heard. It feels more like learning to 'tune in'. 'Give' is arrogant. I'm curious about how this area is being better expressed...?
My kids are finally at that stage where they have realised that I am amazing, that I know a lot of stuff & that life would be shit without me. It's a stark contrast to 14-19 when I was positively wasted on them! It's like the bit at the beginning but without the poo. It's nice
THIS is what I wanted to tell you but I couldn't! Thank you to everyone involved in this book and everyone who has read it, recommended it and shared it. I feel so blessed to be share this community with you❤️
We are so pleased to be able to share the news that our author
@_LisaCherry
has won the 2021 Outstanding Book Award across our humanities, behavioural sciences and education publishing!
Congratulations, Lisa! 🥳🥳We are very proud to have worked on this wonderful book with you😊
If there was one sentence that I wish someone would have said to me as a young person, it would have been "don't worry, I've got your back/I've got this". I melt inside when I hear that sentence. What one sentence did you need someone to say when you were a child/young person?
I've been a bit quiet for a few days, managing the daily surprise of how I'm going to be on chemotherapy! BUT, last night, this happened.... and I know so many of you have been so supportive about it. So thank you for being there. It's an intense experience
#PhD
I haven't had a drink for 11,259 days. Its amazing how doing something one day at a time becomes a way of being & living. An adult life spared of the damage that alcohol would have invariably done to me and therefore others. So deeply grateful 🙏
#gratitude
#odaat
#recovery
4. For this child, it is an extension of abuse. It is system harm. It is another layer of trauma. It is absolutely categorically disgusting. It is NEVER acceptable to be that person, that setting, that service, that system. I have not mentioned the LA, the school or the agency
3. NO child should have food withdrawn EVER but when that child is a child with a social worker, it is is highly likely that the child will have exp living around a lack of resources (relationships, food, heating, clothing, may have experienced different types of abuse for eg.)
I am beyond happy to tell you that today I passed my viva. Big thank yous go to the participants who took part in my research, my amazing supervisors
@ciripache
&
@NigelFancourt
and awesome examiners
@blogsenco
and
@IanThompsonEd
who made the whole process feel like a pleasure!
I'm looking for a small charity.... you know, the one where every penny counts and goes to the people who need it most. Any ideas? Particularly interested in one's that support young people.... x
'People' people are not really designed for all this living online. After 3 months of working online, you may now be noticing boredom and disconnection with your work alongside complete exhaustion. It's a time to walk more, enjoy nature more, sleep more... You are still amazing!
Amidst all the madness of life in a pandemic, in the background I have been waiting. Waiting to find out something special. And now I can tell you all that I have a place, I have a college and I have funding. I'm off to
@UniofOxford
in October to continue looking at... 1/2
I'm not sure it's possible to describe being given a cancer diagnosis unless you've had one but I'll have a go in case you're supporting someone.
I haven't experienced anything quite so hard to process; it's like the life you are living just stops, time stops. All your hopes…
Since my diagnosis 2 weeks a go I have learnt even more deeply that:
1. My kids are more phenomenal than I ever could have known or hoped for (yes, even more!)
2. People show love in many different ways
3. Intense 24 hr physical pain requires an inward journey like no other
4.…
The thing is, when we get it right for the children who struggle, the children dealing with stuff children shouldn't have to deal with, children dealing with the impacts of relational poverty, adversity & trauma... we get it right for ALL children ❤️
Hello you. You reading this post. Yes you. Definitely you. I wanted to tell you that you matter and that you are loved. Try not to forget. It's hard sometimes, I know. But just remember that you are uniquely beautiful in every possible way ❤
Assumptions made about me as a professional: I have no lived experience. Assumptions made about me as someone with lived Exp; that I am not a professional. Assumptions made about me as a researcher; that I am privileged. Curiosity is vital for breaking down barriers...
Watching the UK MEPs waving their flags, with NF at the helm. I'm so ashamed and embarrassed to watch such offensive, disrespectful and rude behaviour. Its mortifying.
#NotInMyName
My gratitude knows no bounds. I have not had a drink for 10,541 days which means my children have not been dragged through one of the responses I used to alleviate the pain my trauma.
Thank you! 🙏💜
#AlcoholAwarenessWeek
'Routine mental health checks for every schoolchild' misses the point. It's not a 'check', it's a culture, a society, a community. It is the opposite of all that sits behind the ideology of 'austerity'. It is th opposite of current ed policy. It is time, connection, relationships
I am completely overwhelmed. Everyone I am speaking to is also completely overwhelmed. Please, to counterbalance the harms enveloping us, can we have a thread of the beauty of life? Things I can RT for us all? Cakes, pets, nature, love, art, music. Please add yours below ❤
Thank you to all media requests. I will not be speaking to the press on this matter. The LA, the school and the fostering agency would not benefit. MOST importantly, the child would not benefit. Just FEED this child and ALL CHILDREN instead!
Everybody wants to claim to have THE solution, THE therapy, THE intervention. No. We need a multitude of modalities, a big dollop of humility and a sprinkling of being comfortable with not knowing. There are as many ways to heal as there are humans healing ❤
Our latest graphic on Language that Harms, Language That Heals. We hope you love it.
Feel free to use in presentations or to share generally. Just keep it entirely intact with all the names on, exactly as it is. Thanks x
Hidden children, hidden carers. Now a
@JohnLewisRetail
Christmas advert. We have travelled such a long way to visibility shared so sensitively. JL doing so much practically for CEP too. One demonstration of how we tackle stigma ❤️
Until we can fully accept, that in the 'right' circumstances we too could be excluded, suffer from mental illness, have poor mental health, be an addict, be a criminal, live illegally in another country, we will continue to 'other' people while feeling smug that its not us.
Delivering training isn't simply about imparting 'knowledge'!! It's a way of being, of holding a space, of being authentic, of creating a space of safety, of appealing to different ways of learning, of creating relational opportunities. It's skilled work.
Belonging is a biological imperative. We will always find a way to meet this need. Exclusion simply creates a supply chain for sexual exploitation, gang membership, radicalisation, county lines. Belonging. Make this a key value embedded into the very fabric of your school.
After the toughest 4 years of my girlie's 20 years on the planet, she told me today "you can stop worrying so much now. I'm in a good place." For this Mama Bear, from what we've been through, I melted.... Watching your child's pain/recovery is more painful than your own I think
For all the men who chose to work through their own traumas, who healed their own fractured and complex father wounds and continue to 'do the work' with and for their children, healing generational trauma.... we see you. Happy
#FathersDay2022
Im just putting this out there in case you're 16 & you feel shit about today. I was excluded from 2 schools & left with nothing at 15. I'm now well educated & I've had & continue to have, a fantastic career that doesnt even feel like work. Worry not! It's early!
#GCSEResults2019
My son has lost another friend to ending his life. Another friend! As he struggles with his sadness, he has concluded that men generally, are most likely high risk for suicide. I've woken up feeling the weight of his conclusion. Poor mental health is the epidemic of right now!
If my children were school age, I would not be sending them to school. If my children had children, I'd be telling them not to send their children to school. There is plenty of time for school. This is not it. Large groups unable to socially distance, is not it.
I have not been in the presence of humans since Xmas Day. Not even for a walk. As lucky as I am; safe, warm, fed, plenty to do, I'm feeling empty. I know so many of us are living alone, worried about the virus, worried about what constitutes 'local' but it is feeling really hard
As you're waking up in the UK, it's 4.15pm in Oz & I'm in the middle of absolutely nowhere on a farm. I'm pretty sure the Roos will be out soon. I'm feeling like I'm digging into my inner brave. I'm about as far away from home as its possible. Can you give me a squeeze please ❤️
**COMPETITION TIME** Win this beautiful hardback version of my new book worth £120. Simply like, share & nominate! Under the pic, nominate the person or org that you think represents relationship focused practice. All names in a hat. Winner picked randomly
There are lots of posts on how trauma shows up. But how does healing show up? How do you know when you're healing? How does that show up? We need mirrors along the way to help us know the distance we have traveled....
My response to the organisation that caused me harm. BUT also for anyone looking for quick fix trauma informed practice, for anyone triggered by orgs who have left you feeling exploited, for people working with the legacy of
#trauma
I hope it helps
I am so happy to announce that we are approved to adopt the very beautiful 11 year old Ruby! I have waited 4 years since I lost lulu to cancer. I'm ready again and Ruby will have the best retirement EVER! 💕❤💕
I know you've heard me banging on about my PhD for 3 years and 6 weeks now (roughly 1,134 days) BUT I am so close to the end and I'm really enjoying the last leg of writing it up
#keepgoing
#PhD
Integrity is everything to me. In other words, I dont care much for what is said. I am watching what you DO. Actions will always speak louder than words. If you want to look like you have integrity, you must ACT with integrity. The current times shine a light on what must be seen
My out of office is on. My out of office has not been on since my 50th birthday in February 2020 when I was on trains and planes going to Berlin oblivious of the virus. My first break in 18 months and I'm off to the middle of nowhere to gaze at the stars 🌟
I've just watched
@MarcusRashford
recieve an honory Doctorate, using the opp to remind everyone that there are more children living in poverty today. I was so moved watching. Academia is intimidating & you held your own, with integrity & authenticity. You are a true ambassador.
I have just had the first peer review back from the publisher and they LOVED it! 5 pages of how important, vital, engaging and necessary this book is. The line that made me cry for a moment read "this is a book that calls to action for a pedagogy of love and nurturing."
This beautiful display of connection is my dream for society: one where we help each other, where there is no judgement but a focus on need that we then try to meet, one that understands that we need each other, one that recognises that there is no 'normal,' just humans ♥️
Living my best life sat in the airport lounge preparing for Melbourne. I don't take my incredible life for granted (& my version of incredible isn't everyone's). I relish every moment, share whatever I can & recall my 17 and homeless self stating "I will survive this."
Three things would make a real difference in a school with regards to supporting good mental health 1. Teach the language of emotion so distress can be expressed 2. Teach self regulation strategies (all staff and children) 3. NEVER use zero tolerance policies
By the end of today, there were a number of Head Teachers committed to changing the language, ditching 'behaviour' policies and wanting to change the school culture to a supportive relationship based learning environment for all. My work here is done. Next!
I have a booking for 2025 as of this morning. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to have it mirrored back to me that I am not going anywhere, I will recover from this cancer, everything is going to be ok. It matters ❤️
Me & my girl start everyday with a face chat. She wouldn't mind me saying that she has suffered with v poor mental health for years. She's 22 tomorrow. She said "I hadn't realised. Not everyone has a mum like you. Not everyone has a mum." It has been a journey to get here ❤
...the intersection between children in care and school exclusion and the impact across life course based in
@ReesCentre
I will obviously still be doing SOME work but you'll have to book me well in advance and I shall be working much more online! But seriously though.... O.M.G.
734 people have joined the Trauma Informed Community HUB in a week! If you'd like to join, please DM me for a link. It's free, it's informative and it's full of connection with your people!
I've just received an out-of-office that read "I am now on retreat for several months" and basically, you won't get a reply. One day, I will have an out of office like this... I've just made it a goal 😌
#wheniwas18
I had not one qualification, I was homeless, I was using drink & drugs daily and I was alone in the world.
(I feel compelled to add that at 21 I was housed, sober & studying for my first degree!)
This
#NCLW2020
, I’m supporting
@Become1992
’s call to end the
#CareCliff
Trauma recovery 🧵One of my hardest patterns of behaviour to shift has been the one that shows up as me 'doing it all' as me not being someone that people need to worry about because I'm 'strong' 'capable' ' 'resilient' and 'independent'.
Just answered the door. To these!!! Ahead of publication, I have just received my complimentary copies from
@RoutledgeEd
❤
You'll all have your copies soon!
Someone asked me yesterday, how did I get to do what I do. I should have ensured my heart was fully present when I answered but its been a tough week with my wellbeing. The answer is very clear...
Through having a lifelong ambition to alter the way people understand distress, a…
Can we call 'intervention' simply 'support'? It sounds so much less clinical. I use the word 'intervention' but listening to someone else talking about an 'intervention' just stood out as so far removed from what an intervention actually is; support/connection opportunity.
I was dysregulated a lot as a parent. F/T work, mostly as a single parent with no family. Knowing I struggled to find inner calm did not bring me a relational network, it just made me more anxious. Knowing isn't enough. R/ships outside the home need to be abundant & high qual ❤