Tristin Hopper @TristinHopper Twitter profile

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

Until proven otherwise, I am declaring myself the creator of the largest Rice Krispie square in Canada.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

In what may be the greatest idea I've ever had, I successfully pulled off an all-Simpsons-themed dinner party.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

I say this regularly, but the first person to be murdered by a sex robot is already among us, blissfully unaware of the hand they will be dealt by history.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

So, this in-house CBC graphic is obviously misleading. The pink bar should be a huuuuuuge; dwarfing all others. But whoops; there's a quietly tiny grayscale tilda at the side to omit ... ONE BILLION DOLLARS.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Just attended a birthing class with the lady. It began with a pronouns ritual in which 10 visibly pregnant women had to confirm whether they were, in fact, women.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Boris Johnson is going to lose his job over a level of scandal that would barely make a week's worth of headlines in Canada.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Just a reminder that this whole trucker mess started because of a cross-border vaccine mandate for which Ottawa had absolutely no supporting health data (while experts everywhere were telling them it was guaranteed to have massive unintended consequences).

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Don't worry, Indigenous people. The owners of this multi-million dollar house got a granite sign engraved to let everyone know they're thinking of you.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

8 years

It's finished! My journalist hate mail bingo card!

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Canada's rate of 78% full vaccination (and that's the whole population, not just adults) is actually one of the best in the world. Not sure why we felt the need to utterly tear ourselves apart to add a few more points to the tally.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

It'd be nice if the Canadian media scrutinized the funding streams and organizers behind other protest movements as aggressively as they've been looking into the trucker convoy.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Remember: Even if Poilievre isn't saying racist things, he could be communicating racist messages via his blinking. I also played one of his speeches backwards and it said "I'm love milk," a clear white supremacist dog whistle.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

Recipe websites: JUST GIVE ME THE INGREDIENTS AND THE DIRECTIONS. NOBODY WANTS TO READ A RAMBLING 400-WORD INTRO ABOUT HOW THIS LASAGNE REMINDS YOU OF KNIGHT RIDER OR WHATEVER.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Saving Ukraine by taking vodka off LCBO shelves is about as dumb as solving the ocean plastic problem by forcing restaurants to use paper straws. Was Canada always this enamoured with pointless symbolism?

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

I know everybody thinks the UK is some unstable banana republic right now, but this is exactly what democracy is supposed to look like when leaders screw up. Canada only *appears* more stable because we have a ludicrously high tolerance for failure.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

On paper, Canada has universal healthcare, $10/day childcare and will accept any Ukrainian refugee who wants to come here. Except you can't get a family doctor, the childcare waiting list is 5 years long and the IRCC is backlogged into 2075.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

It costs you roughly $9000 per year to be covered by the Canadian health care system. Would you pay $9000 for a health insurance plan without primary care, six-month treatment delays and emergency care that is constantly on the verge of collapse?

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

I don't know what to do with the news that groups are rallying in Canadian cities to endorse and celebrate the indiscriminate murder and mass shooting of innocents. This isn't a mere difference of opinion with which we can honourably co-exist.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Government that somehow lost money selling weed wonders if there's a "business case" for selling natural gas to a continent about to freeze to death.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

The next time I'm idling my car for 20 minutes at a drive thru for a strip mall Starbucks built atop a reclaimed wetland, I will feel a unique sense of satisfaction that they are protecting the earth from straws.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 months

Looking for all the mainstream outrage at turning Terry Fox into an unwilling advocate for the destruction of Israel. This picture was posted by the Palestinian Youth Movement, a group that has repeatedly praised the Oct. 7 massacres as a brave act of "resistance."

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Attention: People messaging me to say that "*I* used the ArriveCan app and it was fine." Good for you! Now go email a reporter writing about the First Nations water crisis to inform them that your tap water is clean and delicious.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Millennials are super excited to learn they will now have free dental care while living in the $3500/month bachelor apartment they will have to rent until death because they don't have $300,000 for a down payment. Now all that teeth-grinding will get fixed on Ottawa's dime.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

@twitscotty You don't win friends with salad.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

5 months

The same crowd that spent years demanding that people be cancelled for a racist joke they told in high school are now demanding we forget a giant rape massacre that happened two months ago.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Very few of the Liberal predictions about the Harper government came true (reversing gay marriage, restricting abortion, "soldiers with guns on streets"), but a whole whack of Tory predictions about a PM Trudeau were dead-on, with skyrocketing debt being the most obvious.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 months

Every day I am amazed by the mental gymnastics required by 60+ Canadians to justify the fact that 1200 square-foot homes built in the 1950s for single-income blue-collar workers are now accessible only to $200,000/yr executives.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

8 months

I struggle to think of a Canadian ruling class that has ever been this disconnected. Governments are routinely branding "mainstream" opinions as hateful fascism.

Poll reveals Canadian trans policies that are out of step with public opinion

nationalpost.com

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

I don't think I'm ever going to feel the same way about this country again. A place that utterly screeched to a halt over a Minneapolis police killing couldn't be bothered to notice 1000 massacred Israelis. Out and about I didn't see any sign anything was different than last week

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

5 months

So Toronto, a city with Nuremberg-style "kill the Jews" rallies on its streets every weekend, is excising the name of a guy, Henry Dundas, who helped to orchestrate the abolition of slavery ... but was an evil racist nonetheless because he didn't do it fast enough.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

PORTUGAL: "So we decriminalized hard drugs, but paired it with an extremely strict mandatory treatment regime and also a crackdown on drug dealers." CANADA: "Decriminalize hard drugs, got it."

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Aggressively ignoring rolling blockades for two weeks and then invoking the Emergencies Act while calling my critics Nazis neatly sums up how I would run the federal government after 10 beers.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Apropos of nothing, I'm reminded of the South Park episode where Mr. Garrison starts bringing his leashed boyfriend Mr. Slave to class in order to get fired so he can sue the school for discrimination ... and is disgusted when the administration embraces his alternative sexuality

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

A friend somehow got a family doctor because she "knew someone." Same deal with a friend who just secured $10/day day care; she "knew someone." Is this how access to Canadian government services work now? An East Germany-style whisper network?

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

What's happening is a "tell." If a university or a union can endorse or excuse the mass slaughter of revellers at a music festival, how can you possibly trust them on any other issue? And then you realize how many other issues we trusted them on.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

I really can't stress enough that this is new territory for Canada. You didn't have Vancouver demonstrations cheering Pearl Harbor. There weren't profs celebrating Tiananmen Square. You didn't have sitting politicians implying that 1914 Belgium deserved civilian executions.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

A few radio hosts have asked me in recent days how Justin Trudeau could *possibly* alleviate a recession rooted in global economic forces beyond our control. Here's one crazy idea: We could start selling people our ocean of natural gas that they keep begging us for.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

If my read is correct, Canadian officialdom just witnessed the most brazen outpouring of pro-terror support in our collective history and the official reaction will be ... nothing. The Brits brought hate charges. The French ordered deportations. But we chose "scared silence."

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

I'm afraid that "aren't you guys euthanizing the poor now?" is rapidly becoming the one thing that foreigners know about Canada

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

5 months

Dumbest question I'll ask this month but ... where is all the money going? We're running $30 billion deficits and everything is underfunded and sucks. Health care. The military. Basic federal law enforcement.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 years

Unpleasant COVID-19 fact for the day: More people than we'd like to admit love this pandemic, derive meaning from it and don't want it to end. I know a few, and so do you.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 months

Oh, look. Another organization I've never heard of before who is fully funded by taxpayer money and just happens to exist exclusively to support a Liberal policy measure.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

Canada usually elects Conservative governments on a purely managerial mandate: "Just get the books in order." But the next election may see the first one elected in generations with a social mandate: "Find out what the hell happened to us and fix it."

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

It is extraordinarily easy to confirm that Trudeau is obviously lying about C-21 not targeting hunters, and I would urge journalists to do so.

Trudeau says firearms bill doesn’t target hunters as Carey Price, critics attack reforms | Global...

A Liberal amendment to Bill C-21 would set out a regulatory ban on assault-style weapons by putting an evergreen definition for such firearms into law.

globalnews.ca

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 years

Fun fact: Foreign political endorsements (like those just expressed by Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton) used to be a violation of Canadian electoral law, until that particular provision was repealed in 2018 by the Trudeau government.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

One of the things Canadian history often leaves out is that in the periods we've been committing our worst historical crimes (internment, residential schools, eugenics, Head Tax, etc.) these were wildly popular policies supported by a substantial majority of voters.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

My favourite part of Ottawa is that bakery where Barack Obama came in one time and was like "I guess I'll get a cookie" and the entire place is now a permanent shrine to that 90-second encounter.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Sometimes I just take a moment to remember what 2014 was like. Pre-Trump, pre-Trudeau, houses affordable outside major centers, straws work, single-sex spaces uncontroversial, race rarely mentioned on CBC, your bike hadn't yet been stolen.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

Oh look, it's a literal Palestinian terrorist who moved to Canada under false pretenses, was ordered deported, and stayed anyway after tying up the system in appeals. And sometimes he addresses student groups at CUPE-sponsored events.

Former bigwig in outlawed Palestinian terrorist group wins yet another chance to stay in Canada

nationalpost.com

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

This is the Ruger No. 1. It's wood-stock and single-shot, meaning you have to manually reload after each pull of the trigger. It's basically the worst crime gun ever. The Liberals are serious banning this while claiming they're not trying to ban hunting rifles and long guns.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 years

Just a gentle reminder that the Canadian government is running up historically high debt and seeking to regulate the internet at a time when there is no Governor General.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

4 months

I don't think Canada should leave the United Nations because it's some kind of globalist illuminati designed to destroy our way of life. I think we should leave it because it's a corrupt garbage organization that makes the world worse in almost every way.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

I'm generally a fan of the Canadian system, but it absolutely sucks at protecting minority rights from a government hell-bent on crushing them. From Anglos in Quebec to legal gun-owners to the unvaccinated to our longstanding tradition of aggressively ignoring First Nations.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Lol at people who worry Poilievre would make Canada a laughingstock on the world stage. To the casual foreign observer, the last 6 months of Canadian news has been ... - Shop teacher with anime boobs - Euthanasia for all - Declaring martial law on trucks

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

So it's a *little* creepy that a single negative study comes out about gas stoves and within 24 hours basically every public agency in the Anglosphere is calling for the technology's wholesale abolition.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

5 months

Every time I re-read something from the 2015 election, I'm reminded that the Conservative campaign line was basically "if you vote for Justin Trudeau absolutely everything will flamboyantly go to shit in ways you can't imagine." We forget how crazy this sounded at the time.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

So it turns out when you put a "cool dad" government in charge for nine years, the country predictably turns into a debt-ridden, ungrateful drug addict with a personality disorder.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

I no longer think a return to reality will come organically to Canada. The institutional entrenchment is too strong. Whole swaths of academia the non-profit sphere and the government channels that fund them aren't going to snap out of their decay without targeted outside pressure

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

The Vancouver stabbing really got to me. Paul Schmidt was almost exactly my age, and he was in an encounter I've experienced nearly a dozen times: You're just trying to go out with the family and you've suddenly got a screaming, violent mental case in your face.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 months

It's no longer possible to assume these people are just misguided, and aren't aware of the evil they're endorsing. This is thousands of Jew-hating Islamist terror supporters in your nation's capital ... and more than a few of them work for the state.

Dacey Media

@chrisdacey

2 months

A massive group of Palestinian demonstrators with an @OttawaPolice escort have completely filled Wellington Street and are setting off smoke bombs as they march through downtown Ottawa.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

18 days

I am trying to think of another country where if you went there as an international student and immediately started knowingly and intentionally breaking the law at every opportunity ... that the federal cabinet would intervene to protect you.

FIRST READING: Trudeau government intervenes at last minute to save serial blockader from deporta...

nationalpost.com

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

28 days

I will note that a government that was unable to plant 2 billion trees (in Canada, where that would be relatively easy), is now promising that they can magically build four million homes in seven years.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 years

A Canadian regiment was just put in charge of guarding the Queen, and this is the most mirthful photo you'll see on Twitter today.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

So, nothing like this has *ever* happened in Canada before. We've had Klan parades and neo-Nazi rallies and Orange Order marches. But never hundreds of people gathering in multiple time zones to celebrate mass murder and call for more of it.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

If Canada switched on the TV and suddenly found itself watching CBC from 2012, I'm confident most viewers would literally get the bends. It's always been a little preachy, but CBC's decline in just the last few years has been near-unbelievable.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

To imagine what Trudeau government gun policy looks like to a gun owner, just imagine if motor vehicle laws were set by legislators who had only ever seen cars in movies.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 years

Attention: People on this thread pointing out that it's not a square. 1. Duh. 2. I hate all of you so much, as does most of society. 3. In this context, a "Rice Krispie square" is the name of a confection, and thus freed from any dimensional technicalities.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 months

This is a country where some rando posts "it's okay to be white" posters on a university campus and it's headline news for days. But utter crickets for this. There's simply nothing like it in our history.

Morris Silver

@MSilverNosh12

2 months

@ariellakimmel Outside the courthouse on University Ave

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 months

The Canadian economy is disproportionately premised on people driving large trucks into the middle of nowhere to pull food, minerals, trees or petroleum out of the ground. It's ... weird ... that we keep having governments who instead pretend they run Singapore or The Netherlands

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 months

This would be an awesome argument if people with PhDs hadn't *just* finished breaking literally every marginally functional Canadian institution in sight (while earning >$200,000/year no less).

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 months

To review: Canada has to build ~4 million homes to return to affordability. But we apparently have to do it ... Without building any new roads. While adhering to ever-tightening green building codes. While having soaring immigration cancel out any progress whatsoever.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Trudeau responded to a crime committed with smuggled U.S. weapons with a ban on Canadian guns that look scary. Now, a crime committed with a long gun in a foreign country is met with a ban on Canadian handguns. This is political cynicism on a whole other level.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

4 months

Gentle reminder that if Trudeau hadn't insisted on a vaccine mandate for truckers that made no epidemiological sense whatsoever, then ALL OF THIS could likely have been avoided. Goddamn what a waste of time.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 years

Could God, in all his glory, create a Liberal scandal so great that even a Liberal partisan could not justify it?

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

4 years

Maybe Canada shouldn't be the LAST G20 country to officially realize that China is full of shit on COVID-19. Maybe we could try for second-to-last.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

If you're cheering Canada's "tough" action on guns in the wake of the Uvalde shooting, I'm sorry but you're a low-information dope who's being played by a government who knows you're ignorant about firearms and pay more attention to U.S. politics than those in your own country.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 months

"Well, you see, a few months ago a bunch of Palestinians indiscriminately swarmed through a famously progressive region of Israel, butchering every man, woman and child in sight ... yadda, yadda, yadda the NDP think they're Palestinians now."

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

5 months

So, this immediately cancels out literally every government housing announcement of the last 12 months ... and then laps it.

Dr. Mike P. Moffatt 🇨🇦🏅🏅

@MikePMoffatt

5 months

WOW! Canada's population is up 430,000 in just 3 months. Now at 40.5 million.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

A reminder that running Canada is like running a country on easy mode: We sit atop an ocean of natural resources and the world's most skilled and motivated individuals are constantly clamouring to move here. It takes an awful lot of work to screw this place up.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 months

CBC has gotten its HQ splashed with paint by Hamasnick cosplayers. Trudeau is getting forced out of restaurants by them. The Ontario NDP is getting offices vandalized. You're not going to appease them, so it's probably advisable to stop trying.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

4 months

I just got back from a walk in the part of Victoria where judges and other people earning $400,000/yr live. I hope you're sitting down, but *their* playgrounds aren't filled with needles, feces and people too twisted on drugs to know when they're screaming at a child.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 months

I will concede that not everybody showing up to these "pro-Palestinian" rallies is a Jew-hating terror supporter. There's also people too catastrophically stupid to know that they're at a Jew-hating pro-terror rally.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 years

Future generations may not look kindly on that time Canada decided young people being able to raise families was less important than universally turning pre-1980 homeowners into millionaires.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

There is an elegant poetry to Canada cancelling plans to buy the F-35, wasting 10 years studying what plane to get instead, and then buying the F-35 anyway.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

7 months

I'm still in disbelief as to the absolute state of Canada. Picture a Russian invasion consisting solely of the Bucha massacre, with all of its worst atrocities triumphantly livestreamed by the perpetrators ... and we have people dancing in Mississauga waving Russian flags.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Passport Canada, the IRCC and Health Canada have all done such a tremendous job these last two years that it's only fair they get a holiday while we all continue going to work.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 months

I must stand in awe at an establishment who knows, by poll data, that Danielle Smith is taking the position of 90% of Canadians in setting school transgender policy. And this hasn't even presented a *speed bump* in accusing her of being a bigot who will literally kill kids.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 months

We just found out that my brother's favourite teacher from elementary school was a pedo who molested other kids (not my brother, thankfully). There are good, non-hysterical reasons that parents don't want secret-keeping to be institutionalized at schools.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 months

So I've *never* gotten unsolicited threatening phone calls before, in 15 years of reporting about some pretty touchy areas of Canadian life. But you can now officially count that as another boundary violated in recent weeks. Something profoundly evil is happening to us.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

EUROPE: "We desperately need a thing you possess or we will freeze to death. Please sell it to us." CANADA: "yeah but is there a business case tho."

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

After spending two years watching the Canadian health care system repeatedly and unambiguously crap the bed, I can't say I fully understand the logic of "hey, it should do dental care too."

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 months

People seem to be legitimately baffled and even worried that Trudeau is making no attempt to save himself ("even Kathleen Wynne tried to change course at the end"). But while I can't diagnose the cause, this may well be the most delusional government Canada has ever enabled.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

3 years

They just banned piano playing at Grandma's care home. Why? Because piano playing leads to singing, which leads to possible COVID spread. I understand we're trying to control risks here, but I'd argue "keeping the elderly miserable and imprisoned until they die" is also a risk.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

This would be considered a bit too on-the-nose if we lived in a miniseries: Trucker blockades being peacefully dispersed at the exact same time as a freaking paramilitary attack strikes a B.C. work camp.

Violent overnight attack at Coastal GasLink site leaves workers shaken, millions in damage

vancouversun.com

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

1 year

So, Scotland is having a big national debate over the ethics of putting male-bodied sex offenders in women's prisons because they identify as trans. Canada didn't have a chance for such a debate, because the Trudeau government simply quietly decreed it a few years back.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

2 years

Don't worry, Canada. If our underfunded health-care system becomes overwhelmed we can always call in our underfunded military to fix it.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

6 months

Have we not yet learned our lesson about politely nodding along to academics publicly spouting absolutely insane made-up bullshit?

Wiretap Media

@WiretapMediaCa

6 months

In front of the Canadian Senate, Pam Palmater claimed, that Canada's rural white supremacy problem is the largest in the world - and Canadian farmers are hunting down indigenous people in droves and calling for the deaths of Canadian Natives all over the internet.

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Tristin Hopper

@TristinHopper

5 months

I'm trying to think of a historical example of a more evil person explicitly thanking the Government of Canada for a policy decision ... and I'm thinking maybe Mao? Otherwise I'm drawing a blank.

Hamas thanks Canada for backing ceasefire in Gaza: 'We welcome these developments'

nationalpost.com

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