Dan @ThiccStauskas Twitter profile

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$🍉 Salem\Butterscotch 🎶🐰$

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@fukugyo_kei

@ronii_fs

@spadesripley

@AndrasteNFTs

Dan

@ThiccStauskas

4 years

I’m gonna fuckin lose it

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

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@ThiccStauskas

8 days

Me asking for Uppies

Bleacher Report

@BleacherReport

9 days

Cameron Brink came fitted ahead of her Sparks debut tonight 🕶️🔥

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

YES. YES. LETS GO. LETS FUCKING GO DUDE. YES. ABSOLUTELY.

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

Damn this blew up. to clarify this was just a joke haha I’m actually 6’4” lol

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@ThiccStauskas

7 days

My response to the $70 minimum price tag for NCAA25

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@ThiccStauskas

5 years

@PFTCommenter Corso: The Area 51 guards, GREAT defense. Home game. They’ve gotta win right?! *picks up M16* Nah, gimme that! *puts on alien head and naruto runs around the set* Kirk Herbstreit: *absolutely losing it*

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Really cool stuff here thanks Jane!

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Starting with this unbelievable effort tackle, Mike Sainristill played probably the best individual game I have ever seen from a defensive back. My favorite Wolverine ever hands down

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Alright I’m not gonna dunk on Ryan too much but you know I gotta get this one off

B1G_Ryan

@B1G_Ryan

5 months

@ThiccStauskas Maybe! I said I think Michigan is going to win but I think this narrative that they’re going to run for like 300 yards at 6 yards a clip is ridiculous, this isn’t UNLV

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

@jsthreet You shut your whore mouth

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Best B1G team ever. National champions. You prayed and prayed that someone would save you from it and nobody answered. How does it feel?

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

That’s the whole point of winning a natty. Pulling receipts and making your enemies suffer. You’ll never know what this feels like!

Penn State FB Thoughts

@PSU_FB_Thoughts

5 months

The amount of Michigan fans just searching twitter to find things to reply to instead of just celebrating their win is actually funny.

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

Every Biden ad in the Midwest should be the opening kickoff of a big ten game and then as the returner catches the ball it cuts to black and says “Remember this you hogs? You like it don’t you? If you want your slop back you have to vote for the ice cream man.” I’m half kidding

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

I love to drink 5 beers and be like “what if Michigan just wins all their games”

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@ThiccStauskas

7 days

Me when it’s time to stop playing the actual games and start recruiting procedurally generated high schoolers

EASPORTSCollege

@EASPORTSCollege

8 days

Bring Glory Home. Coming July 19. Pre-Order Now 🔗: #CFB25

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

The Big Ten asked, “But Michigan, when times were the hardest and my faith was tested, I see only one set of footprints in the sand. Where were you then?” Michigan smiled and said, “Precious child, those were the times when I carried you.” Wow 1 like = 1 “Thank You Michigan❤️”

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

This isn’t even science based anymore. They just announced that vaccinated people are extremely unlikely to spread the virus even in the unlikely event that they contract it. These people are just getting off on being scolds now

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Going Beilein to Juwan is truly some Ohio State football shit. We don’t realize how spoiled we are

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

This is the greatest CFB defense ever btw. Georgia 2021 got torn up by Bryce Young. This defense was literally perfect all year

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

4 years

The worst piece of early 2010s x Contemporary mashup art I can imagine is an Chapo Trap House vs. Pod Save America Epic Rap Battles of History video. Sound off in the comments if you can imagine something worse!

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

I never thought they’d win a natty. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’m in shock

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Btw Kyle McCord was much better against this defense than Michael Penix lmao

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

7 days

Official Ohio state account whining about a video game clip of something that happened IRL twice God is so good

Ohio State Buckeyes 🌰

@OhioStAthletics

7 days

A certain clip in here felt unnecessary

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

That’s fair honestly

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@dilfdrem

3 years

you just got cancelled... your most recent twitter draft is why

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

Uhhhhhhhh........

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

“Michigan fans wanted Harbaugh fired in 2020” damn that’s wild I guess I was wrong anyway I’m gonna go watch the highlights of the national championship we won the other day again 👍🏻

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

I can fix her

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

No longer worried about the trenches this year

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

I keep hearing people say that this Michigan team isn’t up to the standards of past champions. Why? By what metric? 247 composite? They were dominant all year, beat 4 top ten teams, are going to have a million guys drafted, and finished atop every meaningful advanced metric

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

7 days

Getting called up from triple-a 👍🏻

Matt Zenitz

@mzenitz

7 days

Former Michigan State safety Jaden Mangham has committed to Michigan. The former four-star recruit posted 52 tackles and four interceptions for Michigan State last season.

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Btw this Joe Moore Award OL got shoved in a locker

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

gm

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

4 days

They had to use a Cade McNamara throw because JJ went 39/54 (70%) for 477 yards (8.5 YPA) 6 TD and 0 ints against them in his career

MilkManMSU

@MilkManMSU

6 days

Dang look at this

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Tapas were actually originally an Irish dish. The English banned them during The Troubles, but the IRA continued to eat them in secret. They would signal that tapas were being served by greeting passers by with “Tapa the mornin to ya”. Isn’t history awesome?

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Guy who gets the vaccine and immediately stops using condoms

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

7 days

Regardless of who you root for you have to feel good for a kid like Jaden Mangham who wanted an offer from Michigan out of high school, didn’t get one, but worked his ass off at a lower level to earn an opportunity to play at his dream school. Classic feel good story 💙💛

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

summoning circle, hope this works 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 Ryan Day Punches 🕯 🕯 a player 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

When u win the Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

I wish I could impress upon the younger generation how much late aughts/early teens humor was just about wanting to kill Justin Bieber. A bizarre cultural moment

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

The best part about this National title is knowing that we did it The Right Way

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Took the hero of college football and made him look like Josh Dobbs. Real bad motherfuckers. Stone faced killers and murderers. Fucking villains. Ruthless man with no remorse

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

4 years

If there’s one thing I know frat guys hate, it’s getting tested

Jacob Moore

@_moore22_

4 years

This is because IU “randomly” tested all Greek students. It’s great to see the blatant prejudice my university holds against me solely because of a group I joined on campus.

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Buddy I’ve died a thousand Michigan Sports-related deaths since January 2020 I do not remember this game AT ALL

Illini Break Down

@IlliniBreakDown

3 years

Michigan still hasn’t recovered emotionally after what happened last year.

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

7 days

EXCLUSIVE: @EASPORTSCollege has confirmed NCAA25 will include a “Road to Athens” mode. Leaked gameplay below:

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Good morning national champions say it back

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

It really is wild that he actually did it

J.J. McCarthy

@jjmccarthy09

4 years

I want all Michigan fans to do this. Take 3 deep breaths... And have faith. Faith that every single Coach, player, employee in that building is doing everything they possibly can to be great.

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Y’all mind if I come off locked right quick

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Today is the biggest free clout day in Michigan Twitter history. Let’s get this dogshit tweet up to 5k favs. What do we think about that huh? Go blue baby gimme gimme dopamine

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

When you have to play a real ass football team instead of mamby pamby me first quinoa bowl tik tok west coast losers

College Football Report

@CFBRep

5 months

Michael Penix Jr. in the second half against Michigan: 9/26 107 Yards 2 INT

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Dan

@ThiccStauskas

9 months

Btw I know I’ve been talking a lot of shit for a locked acct so bookmark this tweet I promise if and when Michigan loses any game this year I’ll go public so the OSU fans bookmarking my tweets can go nuts lol

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

This team really was dominant all year. Every single analyst or fan that picked them to lose was just wish casting

Cole Cubelic

@colecubelic

5 months

Michigan is the 1st national champion to lead at halftime in every game since Miami in 2001.

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

The difference between Juwan embarrassing himself on the court and Izzo embarrassing himself on the court is that I am a Michigan fan

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Me holding back tears of anger as my mom tells me to pick up the piece of broccoli I just threw on the ground

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

It’s so funny that after a full season of the B1G getting made fun of for their pitiful offenses Michigan went and treated college football’s golden boys with the exact same respect as a Tommy Devito lead Illinois

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

@TylerIAm “Look I’m all for a good show down but you must understand this is a nuclear dinosaur”

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

4 years

@TylerIAm When a guy tries to steal $2000 of ups packages you gotta halt the truck in the middle of rush hour traffic, hide behind a soccer mom’s minivan for protection, and just absolutely light that shit up with small arms fire killing two innocent people. Day 1 police academy stuff here

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

10 days

Wow that’s crazy because his completion % was 72.3%. So literally all of his passes were either caught or uncatchable that’s a statistic that really passes the smell test!!!

Buckeye HQ

@RealisticBuck

10 days

Stat from ESPN: JJ McCarthy had a 27% uncatchable ball rate outside the numbers last year. One of the worst among all draft eligible Quarterbacks.

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Ayo Donsumu to Sister Jean on Sunday

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

. @UMichAthletics put the fab 5 banners back up

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Who could’ve possibly predicted that way worse 2021 Ohio State wouldn’t throw the ball all over the yard against a defense designed to stop them besides me. I did. Fucking me. A guy who knows ball and doesn’t just watch highlight packages.

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

15 days

Oh my god dude I’m crying real tears. It’s back and the cover athlete is a Michigan running back who decided to stay home and become an icon and win a. National title this world is so beautiful

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Ben VanSumeren transferred from UM to MSU because he wasn’t being challenged academically

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Ok all jokes aside there’s been a lot of bickering back and forth but I think we as Michigan and Illinois fans can put our petty differences aside and acknowledge that Illinois was the CLEAR and UNDISPUTED second best team in their state

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

4 months

I swear to god the way some of these people act it’s like they don’t understand that winning a national title is the entire point of playing the game

FFBuck

@FFbuckCLE

4 months

Michigan fans were pissed that everyone was returning to Ohio State cause they knew everyone was leaving Michigan for the NFL. And now they will be back to 3rd /4th place in the big ten.

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@ThiccStauskas

7 months

It’s really funny that the B1G didn’t foresee the possibility of Michigan getting a UM grad judge in a state where not only are most judges Michigan law alums, but judges are elected and subject to political pressure. Who could’ve seen that coming

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Gm

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

I can’t believe they won that game. It was every Michigan loss I’ve ever seen until it wasn’t

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Oh yeah that’s the good shit

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

@barstoolsports Holy freakin shit epic tweet my good sir

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Idk guys what happens if they load the box and make JJ throw

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

New snail dropped

Oriana Nichelle

@OrianaNichelle

4 years

Vampire Snail 🐌

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@ThiccStauskas

1 year

I have never been more confident that I will never die

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@ThiccStauskas

4 months

I’ll never forget the day that Jim Harbaugh was hired. It was a weird road but it ended where it was supposed to. Greatest Wolverine of all time. Godspeed brother

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Cfb twitter when it’s time for Notre Dame to get stomped out in the playoff

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@ThiccStauskas

14 days

Michigan accounts when it’s time to be an insufferable prick at the expense of every other fanbase

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@ThiccStauskas

6 months

And just like that sign gate doesn’t fucking matter at all

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

@JackKennedy

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@ThiccStauskas

2 months

This really was the worst call I’ve ever seen in a hockey game of any kind

Big Ten Hockey

@B1GHockey

2 months

After a lengthy review, we've got a good goal for @MSU_Hockey and a tie game. 😎 #B1GHockeyChamp

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

If either Illinois or Michigan wins the BTT that’s the real conference champion imo. Unless Illinois wins

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@ThiccStauskas

6 months

Marvin Harrison, the greatest college WR I’ve ever seen, will go to his grave never having beaten Michigan :(

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@ThiccStauskas

3 years

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I AM!!!!!

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@ThiccStauskas

4 months

Josh Gattis you are going to FEDERAL PRISON for what you did to Nico Collins

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

I am truly wheezing

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

The mistake that Ryan Day made in leaking signgate when he did was that he decided to believe in himself for once in his life. He bet on leaking it, winning The Game, and delegitimizing everything Michigan had done. He failed to consider that maybe he’s just a failure

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

4 years

My gf caught me watching hudl and when she asked what it was I just lied and said porn because that’s less embarrassing than “I think this 17 year old might announce he’s going to Michigan tomorrow so I’m watching his highlights”

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@ThiccStauskas

4 years

Whenever the protests come up in conversation on a work call

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

3 years

Najee Harris has one last chance to be an all time great Wolverine

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Greatest ever going out sad with a loss to Michigan I’m floating dude

Ari Meirov

@MySportsUpdate

5 months

BREAKING: Alabama HC Nick Saban is retiring, per @ClowESPN . A bombshell.

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@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Put your 7 on 7 offense 6 feet deep. Tell your guards to go eat a fucking cheeseburger

B1G Dawg Energy

@B1GDawgEnergy

5 months

I think there’s a good chance Michigans defense is exposed tonight. More accurately, the weakness of the Big Ten offenses will be exposed tonight.

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

5 months

Getting back to my bread and butter of posting RCMB screenshots

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

2 months

Today Alabama faces something they’ve never seen before: an opponent with a higher acceptance rate

Barstool Bama

@BarstoolAlabama

2 months

TWO MORE HOURS

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Dan

@ThiccStauskas

2 months

Damn your best season in a decade brutally ended and permanently soiled by a blowout loss to your biggest rival who’s also going through an underwhelming down year? Ugh you just hate to see it!

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