Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse Twitter profile

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

4 years

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Last Seen Profiles

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

Of course, in a year or so, this will be used in a trailer for BBC iPlayer that promises "jaw-dropping drama". Just prepare yourselves for that. #DoctorWho

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

@MaxKashevsky There are also sites that copy the text exactly, but add pictures scooped from the internet based on keywords. These are much, much worse.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

I WROTE THAT! Good grief, I'd forgotten. Of course, in 1999, nobody shouted "woke" at you if you wondered whether theoretical body-shifting people are ever really gendered. (Q.v. Aaronovitch's version of the Doctor as a West African demigod, joining a dance only women can dance.)

Crazy Ass Moments in Doctor Who History

@DrWhoMoment

10 months

The Eighth Doctor comes out as nonbinary, while also retconning the first seven Doctors' identities in the same line. (1999)

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

"Flux" episode titles just dropped. #DoctorWho

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Sooooo there's this sentient house inhabited by an extended family of prophecy-haunted oddballs, except it's been in decline ever since the departure of a never-to-be-named relative whose connection to space-time was too weird even for them. His return heralds the house's destruc

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

7 months

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

I Photoshop a monarch out of a movie or TV show until I forget: Day 1.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

Twenty years on from my last "Doctor Who" novel, I still have the power to be wildly misunderstood by fandom.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

I posit that this is the greatest comic-book cover of all time.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

Amazingly, this is Jason Donovan in 1990 and not a Paul Whitehouse character. #TOTP

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

8 months

Lego version, please. @LEGO_Group

ArtNouveauDeco

@NouveauDeco

8 months

Jubilee Synagogue, also known as the Jerusalem Synagogue, is a synagogue in Prague, Czech Republic. It was built in 1906 and designed by Austrian architect Wilhelm Stiassny in Moorish Revival form with Art Nouveau decoration.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

@JennyENicholson Think of Britain as a theme park where the mascots can't act out of character even if it means wounding children.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

20 days

Books that outsold the memoirs of a former Prime Minister in their first week of release, #1 .

The Guardian

@guardian

21 days

Liz Truss book enters bestseller list in 70th place with 2,228 copies sold

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Whoever scheduled this episode of "Strictly" clearly didn't grow up in the '70s. The "Grandstand" routine should be IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED by the "Doctor Who" routine. That is the protocol. #Strictly

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

Four instinctive thoughts on the passing of Chris Boucher.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 months

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░O░N░ ░I░O░

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

@JennyENicholson

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

Let's all meet up in the Tier 2000.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

9 months

"This is going to be the best Christmas Walford's ever had." #IClaudius #BBC4

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Right-wing Twitter having a meltdown about the end of "free speech" because Stewart Lee has chosen to take his *own* work off Spotify as a protest. Being able to withdraw your own material as a protest is... y'know... pretty much the most basic requirement of "free speech".

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

@JennyENicholson

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

10 months

THREAD: I review every Doctor Who / Magic: The Gathering card that's based on the original series, as they're revealed. (I'm buggered if I'm doing the new series as well, I've spent enough of my life complaining about River Song.) #MTGxWHO * *Yeah, this is a pre-existing hashtag.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

I no longer have full control over the copyright, but I strongly recommend that you don't buy any Faction Paradox material from BBV.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 months

Nope, can't resist it. #MTG #WillyWonkaExperience

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Nobody else seems to be mentioning it, so here it is: the moment when John Constantine meets a coked-up Prince Andrew, who's involved in a sadistic underground club for the super-rich. ("Hellblazer" #53 , 1992.)

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

I'll probably be banned from Twitter for this, but I've pinpointed the exact location of Elon Musk.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

28 days

A #DoctorWho -loving friend came over, and we re-watched "The Church on Ruby Road" together. On second viewing, I'm moving it up from "yeah, that was a nice bit of fun for Christmas" to "actually, this is genuinely really good".

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

Speaking of famous non-fictional Belgians.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

5 months

My five favourite (genuine) titles of deleted Wikipedia articles: - 1933 in Video Gaming - Judaism and bus stops - Blowing up Wales - World's second-largest ball of Anna Nicole Smith's navel lint - Werewolf with robot hands

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

"The Iron Legion" if we get to the 75th. Agreed? #DoctorWho

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 months

Reminder that Bagpuss has a special sea captain's hat and claims it's from the days when he was "Captain Bagpuss". Never mind "Better Call Saul", this is the prequel series we deserve. (Just check out that guy with the concertina.)

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

5 months

Props to the subtitlers for not trying to correct the Billy Fluffs. #DoctorWho #iPlayer

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

8 months

"Thunderbirds" has really dated badly, hasn't it? These days we know that if a billionaire owned a fleet of experimental rescue vehicles, he'd send them into the field without testing, get in the way of the official rescue effort, then accuse the rescuers of being child abusers.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

21 days

This week on Biological Determinism vs Humanity: men who enjoy sex with women are gay, transgender people obviously regret transitioning even though we haven't bothered asking them, Palestinian children are genetically evil. Even early-20th-century eugenicists weren't this shit.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Honestly, I was expecting the overlap of people who've seen "Encanto" and people who remember "Lungbarrow" to be rather smaller. I was a "Doctor Who" person in the 1990s, and we thought fandom was camp *then*. If you'd told us that by 2022 we'd be referencing Disney musicals -

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

In 1984, Mattel introduced "She-Ra, Princess of Power" to its Masters of the Universe range. That same year saw American serial killer Richard Ramirez, AKA "the Night Stalker", begin his reign of terror.

Adam Bienkov

@AdamBienkov

2 years

Conservative MP Nick Fletcher says Doctor Who being played by a woman has pushed young men into crime.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

As we celebrate the anniversary of the TV series, let's not forget the legacy of the Doctor Who Cinematic Universe. #DoctorWhoDay

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

"Hands up who likes me."

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

I've set up a Mastodon. I left huge footprints at the crime scene and made it look like the victim was impaled on a tusk.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 months

What's astonishing is how the meaning (or at least implication) of the term "AI" has shifted in less than two years. "AI could destroy civilisation" used to mean "humans could be wiped out by robots", now it means "human culture could be wiped out by awful artless greedy people".

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

7 months

A very nice man called Keith just came round with a camera and some lights to interview me about '90s Doctor Who novels. I tried to wear my mask (the rabbit one), but it kept slipping off my nose, so he got loads of footage of my blushing-red face intensely leaning into the lens.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

[Checks calendar.] Yeah, I'm pretty much free after 2022, if the BBC wants to give me a bell? Although I'm not casting Kris Marshall.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

4 months

"...or I might trick Davros into blowing up your whole planet, we'll see how I feel." #DoctorWho #iPlayer

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Of course, nobody can hear the name of our new monarch without thinking of the iconic King Charles spaniel. Characterised by a high domed forehead, big floppy ears, a perpetually baffled expression, and congenital problems caused by generations of in-breeding, th

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

"Mean Girls" should've been part of a trilogy with "Median Girls" and "Mode Girls".

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

25 days

I said something nice about a new episode and immediately lost a bunch of followers. Ehh, I think I see what's expected of me around here.

Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

28 days

A #DoctorWho -loving friend came over, and we re-watched "The Church on Ruby Road" together. On second viewing, I'm moving it up from "yeah, that was a nice bit of fun for Christmas" to "actually, this is genuinely really good".

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

Magenta and Cyan share their memories of the late Clive Sinclair.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

"Babybel" implies the existence of the Mother Bel, a vast queen-cheese deep in the subterranes of rural France who secretes her rind-armoured larvae through uncountable uterine edam ducts. Bon appétit, mammal.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

(You realise, of course, that you could do the whole "We Don't Talk About" number with traumatised ex-companions? Ian and Barbara as Félix and Pepa, still recovering from their abduction. A jumpy, paranoid Ace as Dolores. The doomed Kamelion as Camilo, because EVEN THE NAME...)

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

J. K. Rowling has already stated that she isn't anti-cat and that she has nothing against this cat in particular, but that it *should* be immediately put down in case it exposes itself to a squirrel.

She Guevara

@No7Sammy

2 years

Assigned Cat at Birth.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

ME: Has conditioning-by-trope really debased our idea of humour to such a level that you can give the impression of having constructed a joke just by making a banal cultural observation and adding a generic punchline? INTERVIEWER: I meant, do you have any questions about the job.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

Me realising that my Doctor Who tweets will always be more popular than the ones where I try to make a clever joke.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

23 days

@osfinEXE @faction_paradox Sometimes I forget what I've done to the world.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

2022: anti-vaxxers begin a campaign to end the ban on dumping bodies into the river. "Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we can't even cannibalise our grandparents," say Right Said Fred.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

Des Lynam publicly endorsed UKIP. Jimmy Hill defended footballers using racial abuse against black players. The British right, always trying to take refuge in a "non-political" past that never existed.

Jon W 🇮🇱

@jonw101961

1 year

Funny how David Coleman Jimmy Hill & Des Lynam all managed to present MOTD without voicing political views or attacking the government They also paid their taxes🤔

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

5 months

Amazing that "exterminate" became the Daleks' catchphrase instead of this. #DoctorWho #iPlayer

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

Right, now "Strictly" is over, it's too late to do the joke about Tom Baker hiding in the tree. However, I would absolutely bet money that this episode happened because Russell T. challenged himself to write a story with the longest corridor in #DoctorWho history. HE'S LIKE THAT.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

@shockproofbeats @LillianLow

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

Don't get me wrong, I do love Roger Delgado: engaging, inventive, brilliant as a physical performer. But I've never once seen him play Foreign Accent Guy in a '60s or '70s action drama and been sure what the accent is. He's generally a Franco-Spanish Turk from communist Mongolia.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

@2niposting "Transit" (the most underrated Doctor Who story of all time) and "The Also People" both identify the Doctor with Shango, the divine Yoruba spirit of thunder. There's a strong West African influence in a lot of Ben Aaronovitch's work, for family reasons (his wife) if nothing else.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

The great divide.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

10 months

I don't have a smartphone, so I can't post selfies. But here's my genome. GATCAATGAGGTGGACACCAGAGGCGGGGACTTGTAAATAACACTGGGCTGTAGGAGTTCGTTCAATAAAAGTCCTCAAGAGGTTGGTTAATACGCATGTTTAATAGTACAGTATGGTGACTATAGTCAACAATAATTTATTGTACATTTTTAAATAGCTAGAAGAAAAGCATTGGGAAGTTTCCAACATG (1/21,820,229)

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

11 months

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 months

I'm 51. One of the first things my grandparents told me about war was that although they liked to remember the let's-beat-this-together moments (community in the bomb shelters, Gracie Fields, etc), overall it was a murderous nightmare. I'm amazed anyone can still be this stupid.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

Henry Kissinger dying at the age of 100 (not 98, not 103, but exactly 100) gives off real Faustian Pact energy. "I wish to be one of the most powerful men on Earth, and also to cop off with Jill St John." "Very well, mortal. But after your time of 100 years -"

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

"Deadname" sounds like a great arch-enemy for a trans superhero. Has the ability to impersonate any human being, but can only copy who they *used* to be, not who they are now.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

I've checked the quote tweets, and I'm only the second one to say "Eldrad must live".

Geology Tweets

@GeologyTime

3 years

Awesome calcite on amethyst geode from Uruguay Photo: NowarMinerals #minerals

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 months

The Clitoris is actually an alien parasite brought back to Earth by Valentina Tereshkova, the first woman in space. This is why nobody remembers hearing about it before 1963. (A fictionalised version of these events can be found in the 1960s BBC serial "Quatermass and the Clit".)

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

What's interesting about Elon Musk is that he's obsessed with the future, yet behaves in a way that guarantees the people of the future will remember him as a prick. He dreams of a society where nobody likes him.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

@AndyRileyish Do Galton and Simpson count as a single figure? "Hancock's Half Hour" and "Steptoe and Son" are the reasons UK sitcom ended up like *that* rather than like "The Honeymooners", and everything else follows on from there.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Kevin O'Neill, 1953-2022. Nobody and nothing else really came close.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 months

Today's awful thought: children growing up today will know that "record scratch" signifies "sudden and awkward interruption", but will have no idea what an actual record scratch is or why the sound effect is like that.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

Somewhere in this house, in one of many, many boxes full of interlocking plastic, is the most valuable single item I own. It's comforting to know that if I'm ever burgled, they can take the laptop and the TV but I'll have the last laugh.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

No, *you're* imagining Hannah Waddingham taking down Penny Mordaunt in a swordfight.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

5 months

I liked almost every part of that #DoctorWho . None of them belonged in the same story, it was a terrible mess. But I liked them individually. It'd be nice to see the actual, fully-developed story of The Giggle, without the last half of the episode just being continuity business.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

"Dad, what was 2022 like?"

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

28 days

Now he's writing for a Disney-led audience that may not even have heard of #DoctorWho , it's more important than ever to build up the "real world" before smashing it down with monsters. I hadn't realised how much time "Ruby Road" spends on the civilians, or just how well it works.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

10 months

In the last week of her US tour, Taylor Swift surprises fans by re-enacting the whole of "Planet of the Daleks" episode five. "Like the Skaroine horrors, I too wish I could sometimes be invisible," she tells Rolling Stone.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

4 years

The #Strictly audience masks make everyone look like a Bo Selecta character.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

@Weird_AnimaIs

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

20 days

@DWUDatabase According to the MA "The Empire of Glass", just before "Galaxy 4". I still remember that after 29 years, dear Christ.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

6 months

It's as if three "Red Dwarf" episodes have stood on each others' shoulders and turned up in a trenchcoat. #DoctorWho

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

Hearing that Robert Webb has left #Strictly .

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 years

Has a vaccine booster today, and now I'm eating something I reheated even though it says "do not reheat" on the packet. What I'm saying is that if I'm dead by tomorrow, please don't let anti-vaxxers claim it was the vaccine. It was my refusal to throw away lovely once-warm food.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 months

Yeah, here it comes. I regret an awful lot of things I've said on this platform while drunk, most of them self-destructive. But I'm getting drunk *specifically* for what I'm going to say next. Those who've known me for any length of time... you can guess, can't you? Mm-hmm.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Nadiya looks like a '70s game show hostess demonstrating a particularly unwieldy prize vacuum cleaner. #Strictly

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

The sheer balls of the person who first wrote "fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman". Inventing a whole string of nonsense to rhyme with their second line, then not bothering to make it rhyme with their second line.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Right! I've decided I should try to make a YouTube channel. How do I do that, then? I'll probably need a camera of some sort. Also... editing... things? Software. All of that nonsense. And one of those ring-shaped lights you stick your face into like you're in a gurning contest.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

28 days

Every time I see a picture of this guy from "Fallout", I wonder which shapes would fit in the hole.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

5 months

Oh, here we go. The Scrooges are up.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Arrr, I were sold a treasure map that showed where a thousand doubloons were buried in a secret vault, but all I found there were worthless NFTs. An' that's what ye get for investin' in a crypt o' currency.

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

5 months

Well, there's the winner and we can all go to bed now. #DoctorWho

mothra updates

@mothrasattorney

5 months

#DoctorWho

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

10 months

#IREDWMTGCtBotOSatR , PartThree. #MTGxWHO

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

1 year

Animators in executioners' hoods carry a guillotine to the studio during the Disney strike of 1941. (It's long been rumoured that the man in the lead is Chuck Jones. He *was* present, having been a lifelong union man. But it's probably not him with the sign, sadly.) #GreatStrikes

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

26 days

There really should be a video game like this. No story or characters, just a static screen where you have to stay alive as long as possible even though the environment keeps fast-cutting around you.

Silent Movie GIFs

@silentmoviegifs

27 days

It's hard to believe that Buster Keaton's Sherlock Jr. is now 100 years old. This sequence is still astonishing a century later

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

3 months

Elmer Fudd origin story.

Buitengebieden

@buitengebieden

3 months

Poor baby.. 😅

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 months

Moffat is an abusive misogynist scumbag, to a degree I wasn't even aware of when I used to take the piss out of him via blog. There are people who could wreck his reputation (and possibly, by association, that of #DoctorWho ) with one tweet, but don't. Why...? (1/3)

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

Solomon Groundhog, Born on a Monday, Born on a Monday, Born on a Monday, Born on a Monday,

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Lawrence Miles

@The_Beasthouse

2 years

When you've been trapped in the Renaissance by a rival Time Lord and have to do the "hey nonny nonny, in the future everyone will have horseless chariots" routine for the eightieth time.

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