Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳 @TheAhmedShariff Twitter profile

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

1 day

#sugarfree

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Celebrities who endorse fairness creams are tweeting "Black Lives Matter"

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

I come from an India where supposedly educated ppl celebrate repeal of laws that would've liberalized farming economy, enabled farmers to sell anywhere, reduced food prices. Just like CAA/NRC nobody bothered to actually read what its about. Modi ka hai toh galat hi hoga #farmlaws

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

#IndiaFailed is any day a better trend than #IndiaNeverTried

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

BRAHMASTRA 90-second review #Brahmastra #BrahmastraMovie #brahmastraboxoffice #BrahmastraReview

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

Imran Khan can attract an even bigger crowd. He just has to call people he owes money to #HowdyModi

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

15 days

Before election: Muslims... don't vote Mudi. Mudi bad, Mudi fascist, Mudi dictator, Mudi sud rejine. After election: Why no Muslims in Mudi gormint cabineeeettt!?? 😭😭😭

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 months

"Modi's India is the worst place for Muslims. Worst!" *Le CAA gets passed* "Why is Modi not letting Muslims into Indiaaaaaa!!?😭😭😭"

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

I come from 2 Indias: 1. A humble roadside cobbler pays his respects to Gen. Bipin Rawat. 2. A supposedly "educated" IITian tweets "that piece of trash died"

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

1. We behead people 2. We are a "dara hua" community You only get to pick one

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

After listening to this, if you STILL oppose CAA, you are a piece of human garbage who deserves to be shoved feet first into a wood chipper

Priti Gandhi

@MrsGandhi

4 years

"Khan sahab, agar Islamabad mein mandir bana to yaad rakhna, main un Hinduon ko chun chun ke marunga. Samajh gaye?!" Especially for those who ask why ONLY minorities from Pakistan are being offered refuge in India. They need to understand that the majority don't need it!! #CAA

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Rode 40kms from Arambol to Panaji to see #TheKashmirFiles In all my life, never felt this kind of a vibe in a theater - absolute pin-drop silence, everyone was watching in stunned silence. Powerful, gripping & super-dark @vivekagnihotri sir, take a bow

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

"The government should have declared lockdown earlier!" - comedian who just 10 days ago was pushing tickets for his live show

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 months

If you feel like voting for Congress, visit Karnataka once

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

"I mean... There's a genocide going on in our neighboring country but screw that, let's take a knee for BLM, because wypepo do it and it's the hip/cool thing to do, y'all!" - Indian cricket team logic

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

You don't see much Bengali outrage against The Kashmir Files because they are still writing their paragraphs

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

List of the most "un-woke" comedians: 1. Dave Chappelle 2. Ricky Gervais 3. Bill Burr List of the most popular/successful comedians: Same as above

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

1 year

I've stayed in 2 countries that "copied Western culture" & they copied different things... 🇸🇦 - Technology, professionalism, manufacturing know-how, best business practices 🇮🇳 - Wokism, pub culture & alcoholism, shallow relationships & hookup culture, 🏳️‍🌈

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

That's still 36 more than you bought

Congress

@INCIndia

4 years

The only 'needs' this govt chose to satisfy is those of its crony capitalist friends. Neither does the BJP's Rafale deal satisfy the requirements of the Air Force nor the Indian people. #TheRafaleFacts

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

"Indian festivals are rooted in patriarchy, misogyny & superstition." Yeh tweet karke, didi "witch with a broom" costume pehen-ke Halloween party mein jaengi 🎃

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 months

People are hating on the country that is taking in refugees & not the one that is producing them. Let that sink in.

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

As a minority, I feel so cheated under Mudi gormint. We were told we'd be persecuted, killed, packed off to concentration camps and what-not... Instead, we're being given reservations, scholarships & cabinet positions. Mudi shud rejine!

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

1-min review of #LSC #LaalSinghChaddhaReview

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Been more than a day... No Indian standup comedian has done any gyaan pelna on the Israel-Palestine issue. I'm worried. Is everything okay?

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

6 months

When you go to a new place, learn the local language. Like when I lived in Saudi Arabia, I learned the local language - Malayalam.

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

To everyone complaining about "mehengai" - the government DID try to bring down food prices by enabling farmers to sell their crops/produce directly to traders without middleman. It was called FARM LAWS and you bitches opposed it like your life depended on it. Marwao abhi

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

Hello, fraands. I'll walk into someone's house, kill all the family members, but spare one and release him as a "gesture of peace." Now call me a master diplomat and give me Nobel peace prize, pliss #LiberalLogic

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

But we can't help them... cuz little Tania from Bandra after reading 3 BuzzFeed articles has decided that "CAA is Fascist y'all!"

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 months

Sigh... here we go again. Citizen Amendment Act will NOT affect Indian Muslims because the law is neither for Indians nor Muslims... Rehno do yaar, faayda nahi tum jaahilon se baat karke. Jo karna karo, I'm done #CAARules

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

List of comedians attacked and venues vandalized by "Fascist BJP/RSS goons": .

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 months

Am I the only one who feels that this time, the so-called "farmer's protest" is backfiring spectacularly?

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Dear comedians who are being hounded, harassed, abused, threatened, defamed, slandered, canceled, de-platformed by online lynch mobs of your ideological opponents... Yes, this is what it feels like #karma

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Instead of a sword, if Ravindra Jadeja were swinging around a rainbow-colored dildo while wearing a saree and jhumke, and gender-identifying as a pile of dog-shit or something, liberals would be applauding him #rajputboy

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

"Capitalists are funding doctors and scientists all over the world who are scrambling to find a vaccine. Where are the communists!?" Oh, they'll come in the end after all the work is done to demand that it be given for free

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Gen-Z pappus can't relate with The Kashmir Files because the worst "atrocity" they've faced is being called a nasty word online or "mis-gendered" or some other first world problem they like to believe they have

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

The phrase VANDE MATARAM simply means "I SALUTE YOU, MOTHER" MOTHER here referring to MOTHERLAND - not any polytheistic Hindu goddess. I really don't see how saying VANDE MATARAM contradicts Islamic beliefs

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Predicted this a year ago...

Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

"Capitalists are funding doctors and scientists all over the world who are scrambling to find a vaccine. Where are the communists!?" Oh, they'll come in the end after all the work is done to demand that it be given for free

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Just how much does this writer hate women!?? 😕

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Remember... Communists created the problem. Capitalists are fixing it. 🙏

Gautam Adani

@gautam_adani

4 years

ADANI FOUNDATION is humbled to contribute Rs. 100 Cr to the #PMcaresfund in this hour of India’s battle against #COVID19 . ADANI GROUP will further contribute additional resources to support the GOVERNMENTS and FELLOW CITIZENS in these testing times.

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

This government acts tough only against stand-up comedians

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Just a reminder... Akshay Kumar can sell ANYTHING by inserting "desh" in the pitch

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

Hello fraands. Being a minority, I'm accepting contracts to publish stories of attack/harassment. My rates are given below (GST not incl.): 1. Got called religious slurs - Rs.15,000 2. Forced to wear BJP cap - Rs. 25,000 3. Got told "Main aap ko Lahore chhod aaun" - Rs.35,000

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Stop appropriating my culture!😡

Abhijit Iyer-Mitra

@Iyervval

3 years

#NewProfilePic

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

USA's been described as a tough country to invade cuz EVERYBODY has guns But Indians: "Yes, please come. I deserve this! I'm ashamed to be Indian, I'm ashamed to be Hindu, I'm ashamed to be this, I'm ashamed to be that... Lelo, sab lelo *turns around, bends over* Yeh bhi lelo!"

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 months

Bangalore ke 1.5 crore ke flat mein itna paani nahi aata jitna mera AC mooth deta hai

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

They should just call it COMMUNIST CAFE

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Millennials/Gen-Z tweeting against privatization. From their phones with internet connection. Which they have & can afford only because telecom was privatized in the late 90s

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

If this was an actual Fascist dictatorship, 2 things: 1. None of you tough guys would have dared uttered a squeak 2. If you did, you bitches would be locked up in a gulag for your "dissent" - not making Instagram stories about it

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

Public won't mind funding college subsidies if it's actual useful courses like medicine, engineering, pure sciences etc. that actually contribute value to society instead of useless crap like gender studies and African studies and lesbian dance theory #ShutDownJNU

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

3 seeti means talaaq

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

If you paid money to Saket Gokhale, you deserve to lose it 🤣

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

"So what if Kashmiri Pandits were thrown out? They should forget & move on!" - Chintu from Dwarka who's still crying about being denied stag entry 2 weekends ago

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Meanwhile, liberal elitists are asking, "Who is DJ Halli, what club is he playing?" #bangaloreriots

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

I invested $700 in Netflix stock. It now gender-identifies as $200.

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Guy-girl get in relationship. Girls says can't have sex because of "miscarriage trauma." Is pregnant with another guy's child. Then has ONS with a 3rd guy. Boyfriend calls her out, she scolds the guy for being "judgmental" ☝🏻Actual scene from 4 MORE SHOTS Season 3

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

People in India who are supporting Taliban don't really mean it. How do I know? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Offer them a free air ticket to Afghanistan, none of them will go

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 months

And why on earth would Indian constitutional law apply to citizens of Pakistan, Afghanistan & Bangladesh!?🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Sagarika Ghose

@sagarikaghose

4 months

The #CitizenshipAmendmentAct violates Article 14 of Constitution providing equality before the law and Article 15 prohibiting discrimination on the basis of religion.

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Minute of silence for all liberal girls who used to swoon over Milind Soman

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

Amit Shah keeps saying "Manyavar! Manyavar!" in his speeches. This product placement of an ethnic clothing brand in parliament speeches is unacceptable and is proof of crony capitalism. Mudi sud rejine! #IndiaSupportsCAB

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

I wanted to make a video on Karl Marx, but no time, I have work, unlike... You know, Karl Marx 😁

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 months

Bangalorean refuses to join ISIS because their flag doesn't have Kannada

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Please wear a mask. Nothing to do with #CoronaAlert Some of y'all are just ugly

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 months

In 2019, a LOT of people cut me off 'cause I supported CAA. Today, I would like to reach out to them & say... . . . . . . . . . . . Door hi sahi ho tum jaahil mc ke bache

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Charlie Hebdo - 🇫🇷 flag filter Ukraine war - 🇺🇦 emoji on Twitter Pride month - 🏳️‍🌈 filter George Floyd - kneel before a cricket match Our own Kashmiri brethren being genocided - Arey it's just propaganda!

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

Hijab is NOT a choice. As per Islam, it is a "command" from Allah, you do NOT belittle it by callin it "choice." I lived 11 years in a Sharia country, go exercise ur "choice" there, see what happens. A few beatings from religious police will remove any delusions about "choice."

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Whatever human flaws Raju Srivastav had, he did NOT gaslight young Indian men to think they're all sexist/misogynist, while enabling a vile toxic feminazi culture while simultaneously covering up a massive sexual predation scandal, all to win cheap brownie points with women

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Covaxin Covishield. And now Sputnik. We have now have THREE vaccines. That's three more than we had last year 🙏

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

This is how men should be: manly These lipstick & nail-polish wearing gender-fluid whatever-the-shits... You'll realize how useless they are once we have an invasion or calamity & society breaks down. It happened in Afghanistan, it CAN happen in India. We need strong men!

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

These results show just how disconnected celebrities & comedians are from the pulse of the aam janta. They live in their own universe, bunch of pompous egotistical self-important twats with their circle-jerk of flatterers & equally ignorant sheep-brained friends

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

That awkward moment when you find out the concept of CAB was in fact started by Congress...

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

What'd u have for lunch? Most ppl: Dal chawal sabzi @Iyervval : Armenian goat slow-cooked for 7 hrs over a magenta flame of sandalwood with south-Sudanese oregano, seasoned with salt from baby panda tears, infused with unicorn blood and tulsi leaves blessed by Alok Nath...

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

It's impossible to win a game of chess with a 🏳️‍🌈 I mean, the king will suddenly gender-identify as "queen" and...

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Sandalwood: Took great pains to cast actors from Mangalore, Udupi, Tulu Nadu region only to get authenticity of language/accent. Bollywood: Meh... just wrap a pagdi & fake beard on some random guy, make him say "Oye! Oye! Tadam-te-tudum! Aaho!" People will believe it's a Sardar

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Boost is the secret of my energy Karl Marx: *Our energy

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Wore a pheran. Feeling a strong urge to throw stones now... PC: @VaadaVivaada

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

He's caught the virus, but the hospital is at max capacity, people being treated in corridors, he was turned away: "Sorry, no more beds!!" THAT was the moment Mr. Liberal realized "Ah shit... I shouldn't have called for open borders & let in so many illegal migrants." 🤦‍♂️

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

The person responsible for the Afghanistan mess according to liberals...

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 months

Dear Bengalureans... who made me a pariah, a social outcast, called me gobar bhakt, sanghi, chaddi, Uncle Tom, gau mutra drinker, sasta Tarek Fateh, discount Imam Tawhidi & what-not... enjoy your new government 🤡 🖕from Delhi 🤣🤣🤣

ANI

@ANI

4 months

Bengaluru | Karnataka Minister Shivaraj S Tangadagi says, "Multinational companies will be required to display the number of Kannadigas employed on notice boards at their campuses. Failure to comply with the language requirement may result in the cancellation of licenses, as

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

#KeralaModel

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Actual female pilots of the IAF are criticizing the inaccurate portrayal in the GUNJAN SAXENA movie. Now waiting for Neha (sasti Karen) from Bandra to lecture them about feminism after reading 3 BuzzFeed articles

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Listening to that Shaheen Bagh guy talk about cutting off Assam from the rest of India... The problem with this government is not that "it is Fascist." It is not Fascist enough! 😡

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Hey, that's my mom! 😡

Shambhav Sharma

@shambhav15

3 years

Bro They straight up used clip art instead of the actual photos of the women 😂😂😂😂

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

6 years

Why does this auto driver look like he's gonna change my name?

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

14 days

8500rs mein apna zameer bechke ab "no representation" waala r-rona mat karo

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

30 minutes into watching AVATAR. Where are the blue aliens everyone's talking about?😕

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

2 months ago, what was shown in Kashmir Files was called "propaganda" Now it's happening LIVE!!

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Terror has no gender❤️

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Kamala Harris vroo... Indian origin vroo... Chitti vroo 🤡

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

MOTHER is an offensive term now. You're supposed to say "birthing people." Not a joke, this is actually happening, Democrats in the U.S. are actually using this term unironically. Utha le re devaa.... utha le 🤦

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Goodbye, guys... was nice knowing you 🙈 #goa #goadiaries #vagator #FunnyReels #Reels

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Even after death, he continues to do good 🥲

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Gujarati Dolo 650 pe bhi cheese daalke khaate hain

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Good morning. "aRe wE ReALLy iNDePenDEnT" waala r-rona bandh hua kya?

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 months

Congress is going overboard with their Muslim appeasement, zara zyaada ho raha hai, cringe ho raha hai. Next they'll change the name of Bharat Ratna to Bharat Khatna.

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

5 years

I wanna make a Netflix series about a "dara hua musalman" called SCARED GAMES

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 months

Kaunsi duniya mein baitha hai, delusional insaan? UP is building expressways & industries & growing by leaps & bounds under the leadership of a strong man, whereas your state is moving at light speed towards the stone age. Tu bas Kannada signboards dekh ke hilaa

Ajeet

@ajeetweets

2 months

@TheAhmedShariff Mdr chd.. I am in Karnataka from BJP ruled state. Yaha pata nhi kitne UP ke log rahte hai never seen any kannadiga living in UP, MP. I don't want Karnataka to become sh1t hole like BJP ruled state.

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Sabyasachi ad... Itni manhoos shakal toh log Aadhar card mein bhi nahi banaate

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

3 years

Not too worried about vaccine side effects, cuz after being told I look like Saket Gokhale... I can handle any kind of pain

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

Stop watching garbage on Netflix - junk food for the brain. Check out these informative YouTube channels instead: The Infographics Show Wendover Productions Real Engineering Real Life Lore Half as Interesting Sci Show VisualPolitik Technology Connections Free Documentary

81

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

2 years

Netflix stock falls 20% Their pronouns are get-woke/go-broke

17

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Ahmed Shariff 🇮🇳

@TheAhmedShariff

4 years

SSR was intelligent and well-read enough to know what a photon is. Most artistes I know think photon is a gender

32

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