✂️ “I went into my normal barber.”
🤔 “There was something different.”
🤷♂️ “I didn’t know it was his brother!”
👍 “I said ‘Can I get my normal one?’”
😱 “My jaw hit the floor... he thought I’d said ‘number one’!”
The story behind Ally McCoist's new haircut is brilliant 🤣
NOT TO BE MISSED! Friday’s show takes a new direction as Alan and Ally McCoist are joined in the studio by
@NiallOfficial
! 🎤🎸🎵
We’re so excited we’ve even made an X Factor-inspired trailer.
Take a look 👀👇
👏 This was incredible...
Vinnie Jones passionately defends Paul Gascoigne after the "absolutely disgraceful" decision to withdraw Gazza's Scottish Hall of Fame nomination.
"I'm ready to give him a big cuddle. This has really hurt me and it will hurt him."
📻 Listen ↓
We are absolutely devastated to hear that our great friend has passed away.
Ray will be sorely missed by everyone who had the pleasure of working with him on the Breakfast show.
Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.
RIP Butch
Ray Wilkins is one of the nicest men you could ever wish to meet and working with him on the show is always a joy.
Keep fighting, Butch.
From Alan & everyone at
@talkSPORT
.
"Oh I am on a mission today!"
Alan is very much looking forward to the day ahead... 🍻
...and we don't know whteher to be scared for
@NiallOfficial
, Ally or both of them! 😳
Harry Kanine 😂
Kenny Dogleash 🤣
Ally McCoist absolutely loses it once again as he reads out listeners' Dog XI suggestions! 🐶
This won't fail to bring a smile to your face! 😃
😡 'Gary Neville’s comments are a DISGRACE'
🇪🇸 'He managed Valencia and when he did they were the worst Valencia team in their history'
📖 'He wants to do his homework'
@Redknapp
is FUMING with
@GNev2
after labelling
#THFC
“spineless” & "soft" for 30 years of his life!
Wow...
🍻 Ray Parlour: “A social beer is what I’m missing. I’m not a house drinker.”
🙌 Also Ray Parlour: “Woooahh yeah!”
We had too much fun putting this short video together 🤣🤣
Sorry
@RealRomfordPele
😬
🐟 Laura: “A footballer complained his goldfish was swimming backwards.”
👀 Ally: “Was it looking for Bob?”
🤔 Laura & Alan: “....?”
😯 Ally: “Anytime you see a goldfish they’re always looking for Bob...”
@Laura_Woodsy
totally lost it at Ally’s fishy joke 🤣
Ally: "What kind of shirt are you're wearing Alan? Is that a Marq-F?" 👕
Alan: "What do you mean a Marq-F!?"
Ally: "It's the one up from a Marquee!"
Ally's been saving this joke up for weeks...
...and it's SAVAGE 🔥😂😂
We asked for your Biscuit XI suggestions...
...and you delivered! 🙌
Ally McCoist was left barely able to speak by some of these names! 🤣
HobNobby Solano 👏😂
“My mum is almost 93 & she never misses a game of football.” ⚽️
“I asked her what she wanted for Christmas & she said BT Sport!” 🎁
“One day she texts ‘Hope you’re watching the game!’” 📺
“She was watching Hoffenheim vs Frankfurt!” 🇩🇪
Ally’s mother sounds like a legend! 🤣
✈️ Brazil: “I was on a flight to Greece.”
🍺 Brazil: “The stewardess said to me ‘there’s your second and final drink’.”
❌ McCoist: “To be fair, you hadn’t taken off yet!”
Ally has absolutely done Alan here 🤣
Superb 👏
"Does Paul Gascoigne deserve his place in the Scottish Hall of Fame? You're joking!? 100% he does!"
"This is an embarrassment."
"It was an absolutely pleasure and privilege to play with Gazza."
A brilliant tribute to and defence of Paul Gascoigne from Ally McCoist... 👏👏
🤦♂️ "I missed a penalty in the last minute to make it 9-0 to Rangers!"
😱 "A fan sent me his betting slip... my miss cost him £100!"
😏 "So I sent him my betting slip..."
This was brilliant from Ally 🤣
“Investors don’t care about football.”
“Fans made the game.”
@TeamGinola
slams the current state of football and tells us his fears for the game’s future in an impassioned rant.
This is brilliant... 👏👏
Earlier in the show, Al &
@RealRomfordPele
spoke about a game called 'Penny Up the Wall' which they played at school.
So we thought we'd have a game in the studio (once Alan understood the rules 😂)
Alan's final throw is actually unbelievable 😱
Happy birthday to the one & only Alistair Murdoch McCoist 🎂
To celebrate we've put together a thread of his greatest stories.
We’ll start with this cracker about Gazza and a late-night sandwich 🥪
“Celtic lost to the mighty Cluj... Who is writing this garbage!?” 🗑
“Ally, I hope you fall in a bunker at Loch Lomond ya tube!” 😡
It didn’t take us long to wind Alan up about
#CelticFC
’s shock loss 🤣
MUST LISTEN! Alan and Ally McCoist try their hand at a One Direction classic.
So does
@NiallOfficial
think they could be the new Harry Styles and Zayn Malik? 😂😂😂
On today's show, Ally McCoist told us he'd lost his bag on a
@SW_Help
train.
Thanks to the brilliant
@talkSPORT
listeners it has now been found 👏👏
He picked it up at the airport just minutes before his flight to Glasgow! 😂
"Alan, if you shaved your head you could go to fancy dress parties as a size 16 red bowling ball!" 👨🦲
"Stick two fingers up your nose and a thumb in your mouth and throw you down the lane!" 🎳
Ally has absolutely done Brazil in this chat about going bald! 😂
Brilliant! 👏
Today we were joined by top impressionist Alistair McGowan...
...and he was brilliant! 🙌
His impressions included
@HKane
,
@GaryLineker
&
@AlanShearer
👏
But we think his
@RobbieSavage8
is our favourite of them all 😂
🍺 Parlour: “I don’t know if we’re having a ‘debrief’ later...?”
😏 Brazil: “Ohhh it would be silly not to!”
😴 Parlour: “I’ve had three days sleep just for today!”
Having not seen each other for a long time, Alan & Ray took 30 seconds to make pub plans... 😅
😳 “You’re the only guy in the country who doesn’t need facial recognition!”
👀 “You’d recognise that boat race of yours anywhere, man.”
🍑 “James & the Giant Peach heid!”
👮♂️ “The police in Swansea will be like ‘That’s Big Al leaving Cardiff!’”
Savage from McCoist 🤣🔥
Al: “Come on then, get it off your chest, Ally. Come on...” 😒
Ally: “I haven’t got a Cluj what you’re talking about!” 🤷♂️
We knew it wouldn’t take long for
#RangersFC
legend Ally to wind Alan up about
#CelticFC
... 🤣
"I'm in the best job in the world"
Speaking to the Sports Breakfast, Brendan Rodgers rules himself out of the
#Arsenal
job while professing his love for
@CelticFC
.
Listen below 🔽
“He’d woken up & had no food in his fridge at home...” 👀
Today a few newspapers are running a story from Gazza 🗞
Paul reveals how he broke into Ally’s house to make a sandwich 🥪
Here’s McCoist telling the hilarious story from his point of view! 🤣
“The world doesn’t revolve around London!”
@Joey7Barton
says it’s unfair for northern football fans to be made to travel to Wembley for FA Cup semi-finals...
📻
🎈 "Shut up, you balloon!"
😡 "Get rid of him! Don't put The Moose on again when I am on!"
🔥 Things got a little heated between Sam Allardyce and
@BroadcastMoose
this morning! 😂
They like each other really... we think! 😬
Brazil: "This weekend you've got Warsaw vs Barnsley..."
Ally: "Wait! Who have Barnsley got? Warsaw!? That's one hell of a trip!"
An error in one of the scripts lead to one of the funniest moment we've had in a long time 🤣
Ally's reaction is priceless...
We couldn’t celebrate 20 years of talkSPORT without mentioning it... 👀
THE Bob Monkhouse Clip always cracks us up 😬😬😬
But one man who loves it more then most is Ally McCoist, as you can see from this clip at Al’s 60th birthday 🤣
Deontay Wilder’s claim about his costume being too heavy we’ve been talking about bad excuses 🤨
Who can forget these incredible excuses from Brazil on why he missed shows at Cheltenham 👀🤣
Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha took Leicester from the Championship to Premier League champions and the Champions League.
Here is how we paid tribute to Mr Srivaddhanaprabha and his
#LCFC
legacy.
#RIPVichai
🎳 “We went bowling & I said ‘£20 each, whoever wins takes it’”
🤫 “I didn’t tell them I’d worked in a bowling alley for 2 years.”
😏 “I brought my own bowling ball!”
🤑 “I shot 248 & won the money!”
Neil Warnock reveals he hustled his
#SUFC
team on a pre-season trip! 🤣
Today marks one year since the great Ray Wilkins passed away.
Not a day goes by where we don't think about Butch.
His wit, warmth and incredible football knowledge made him a much loved part of the Sports Breakfast.
We'll always remember you, Ray.
🗣 O’Hara: “Steven Gerrard”
⬇️
🗣 Brazil: “Rangers”
⬇️
🗣 McCoist: “Trophies...”
⬇️
🗣 Brazil: “Trophies!? You haven’t got any this year you numpty!”
Ally McCoist’s passion for
#RangersFC
cost him as he played a round of Word Association with Al & Jamie 😂
"I didn't think you could get any redder, Al!" 🔴
"Just call me Saturn!" 🔴
The sun was out in London yesterday and
@RealRomfordPele
was quick to point out that Al looked like he had made the most of it... 👀🤣
👕 Ally: "What kind of shirt are you're wearing Alan? Is that a Marq-F?"
🤔 Alan: "What do you mean a Marq-F!?"
😜 Ally: "It's the one up from a Marquee!"
This was probably Ally's most SAVAGE joke of 2019 and we LOVE it 🔥😂😂
😡 Jamie: “I wanted to get in my car & walk off”
🚗 Laura: “Get in your car & walk off like Fred Flinstone?”
*𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧*
😴 Laura: “How’d you sleep?”
💐 Jamie: “Like a daisy.”
It wasn’t a great start to the show for
@MrJamieOHara1
, &
@Laura_Woodsy
loved it 🤣
Forget The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air...
...it's all about The Fresh Prince of Ayr! 😂
Ally McCoist has a brand new rap for you to mark our trip to
@AyrRacecourse
! 🙌
He absolutely nails this 👏
🤣
@Laura_Woodsy
: “This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!”
😂 Ally: “That’s the best ever! Stop what you’re doing and Google it!”
Freddie Flintoff made us aware of Ross Kemp’s folded faces and we couldn’t thank him enough 👏👏
Ally may never recover from this 🤣
🥊
@EddieHearn
's a top boxing promoter...
😮 ...and it turns out he's a brilliant impressionist!
These impressions of
@SpecialKBrook
and
@ChrisEubank
are spot on! 😂😂
[📽️ w/ ]
“Have you ever seen the slo-mo of a snake and mongoose confrontation.. it’s dynamite!” 😱
Ally McCoist & Andy Townsend talking about snakes for 90 seconds is actually unmissable.
🤣😭😭🐍🐍
Thanks to the guys over at for creating this... 😂
Whose daily routine would you prefer:
@MarkWahlberg
's or Alan Brazil's? 🤔
📻 You can hear Alan explain his routine in full here:
“Don’t get me started on Love Island!” 😫
“The fireman, Michael, I’d kill him... you have to be true to your word!” 😡
“You can’t say that to Amber!” ❌
“Curtis got custard pied... hilarious!” 🥧
Ian Holloway’s rant about
#LoveIsland
was an unexpected treat 🤣
✅ Asks a Bournemouth fan if he was at the game last night.
✅ Doesn’t understand why we’re laughing at him 5 minutes later.
✅ Goes to make a cup of tea 30 minutes later and then it hits him...
Never change, Ally McCoist! 🙏
Brilliant 🤣
"All he's experienced is FAILURE!" 🤦♂️
😡 This caller is FUMING with Alan and Dean Saunders for saying Joe Hart should go to the World Cup! 😳
Al and Dean are properly taken down 😂
💚 70 Points -
#CelticFC
⬇️
⬇️
⬇️
💙 60 Points -
#RangersFC
Can you please RT this message from Alan Brazil to Ally McCoist to make sure Super Ally sees it... 👀
*Apologies for the audio, which is almost as bad as Rangers’ title bid 🏆
“Mourinho was slaughtered but got a point... am I going mad here!?”
@Joey7Barton
says he can’t believe the praise
#ManCity
are receiving for their loss at
#LFC
...
“Wait to hear my pal...” 🐦
He’s out in his garden in his dress gown with his new mate again 🙌
Name a more iconic duo than McCoist and his woodpecker! 🤣
"We turn up at Glasgow airport and the place was swarming with Celtic supporters..." ✈️☘️
This story of Ally McCoist's journey to New York with his wife is hilarious! 😂😂
We asked our listeners to help us create a Pie XI... 🥧
And you guys didn't fail to deliver!
Ally absolutely losing it over 'Chicken Tikka MoSalah' is brilliant! 🤣
It’s estimated that 50,000 pints were thrown in the air when Kieran Trippier scored last night.
Stuart Pearce: “Alan caught 10,000 of them before they hit the ground!” 🍺😂
📻
🥵 “I think people are making such a big deal of this!”
😡“What a load of rubbish!”
😎 “Drink a lot of water or lager, wear sunglasses and a hat! Easy peasy!”
Alan has some advice for those unhappy with the
#heatwave
😂
😳 𝗔𝗹𝗮𝗻: “Apparently Jamie O’Hara is training with a new club...”
🍪 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝘆: “A club as in the biscuit!?”
🎶 𝗔𝗹𝗮𝗻, 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝘆 & 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗺𝘆: “If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club!”
We think this is harsh
@MrJamieOHara1
but you have to laugh 😬🤣
"Busquets is no better than Dier...
...Dier does a similar job to Busquets but he gets a lot of criticism for it!"
Sam Allardyce believes
#THFC
's
@EricDier
is as good as Barca's Busquets but doesn't get the same credit! 👀
📻 Take a listen & give us your thoughts! ↓
#RangersFC
will not give
#CelticFC
a guard of honour at Ibrox on Sunday 👀
So we thought we’d do the right thing in the talkSPORT studio with Rangers legend Ally & Celtic fan Alan... 🔵💚
McCoist wasn’t happy doing this 😂