That awkward moment when your sexy as hell penis doctor (who is a woman) sees you pull your big Johnson out and says to herself “damn, I’m gonna lose my license today”, implying that she wants to have sex with you.
When I sing the Beatles song “I want to hold your hand” to my cats, I change the word “hand” to “paw” so that when I sing it, the words become “I want to hold your paw” instead of “I want to hold your hand”. It’s something I do just for my cats.
Passing a doobie around at a party these days be like, “oh what strain is this, omicron?” LOL nah just playin. Just a little bit of fun to help get y’all over the mid-week hump. Bless.
I’m so pissed right now! I just got off the phone with Cruella Deville‘s reps (yes THAT Cruella Deville) they want me to sell them the dalmatians so that they can make clothes out of them! WTF?! the dalmatians are NOT for sale! especially not to YOU Cruella DeBITCH 🖕OK rant over
Wow! My wife just went down on me in a packed theater, during Puss in Boots. Hang on. Before you send the hate mail. The theater was filled with adults only who were there ironically hate-watching it.
I’m so pissed off right now!!! I just found out that Cruella Deville has been trying to make a big fancy coat out of my good friends, the Dalmatians! Like seriously bitch? Fuck you!