Rambo Van Halen @RamboVanHalen Twitter profile

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Rambo Van Halen

2 months

Just to keep myself organized, I made a 🧵of my mediocre threads of meditations on my (almost) former career in Hollywood.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

At 17 I bought 2 big lies: 1) I *must go to college or I’ll never make it*, and 2) that I should *study what I love*. I liked History, and after studying history the only clear career I path I could see was a life in academia. So I set out to become a Professor of History.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Let's talk about Come and See. It's the absolute triumph of Soviet cinema. And how it was made was absolutely horrifying. It's a feat that will never be repeated...

FbF

@FistedFoucault

2 months

The greatest war movie of all time and it's not even close.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

I was helping other students write their papers. They would get As and I would get Cs. Thinking WTF, I finally confronted one of them about why. She said it was because I wrote from a White Male POV.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

The homeless looking prof also said he had a Yale PHD and that really freaked me out.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

There's a happy ending... Thanks to world class universities putting their classes on Youtube (hell yeah Yale!) and Twitter nutjobs like @MTClassical and @ploughmansfolly doing live lectures, I'm finally getting the education I wanted. Best part: it's costing me exactly $0.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

This was mid-90s. I got into a big western state school. I had some great profs, and some not so great ones. BUT I'd also get these female TAs/adjunct profs who seemed to hate me.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

That was the first time I encountered what was then known as Political Correctness.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

So after 5 semesters I dropped out. I started doing construction, which turned out to be the best possible training for working in the film industry.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

AND... it worked! I got straight As! BUT I felt like a phony and I hated myself...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

So I finally ask him why I would take his class at the CC when I'm at the University. He starts to cry. Said if he didn't get X more students signed up they were going to fire him. And all I could think was "OMG is this MY future!?"

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

🧵 about what casting used to be like... And what actresses have always been like...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

I ended up dropping out. Didn't see the value in continuing the path. I was working 40 hours a week in a grocery story to pay for school (you could do that back then) but the long hours of work + study were killing me.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

In addition, playing the game made me deeply unhappy. I couldn't pretend to believe things i didn't believe. And I could no longer spin pretentious BS in class discussion anymore (But according to Francis Fukuyama...)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

And I really really couldn't continue to feign wonderment at the "knowledge" of my professors, most of whom were midwits at best. And I was just an undergrad. I can't imagine what grad students must go thru...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

Then there was an incident at the Student Union. I'm hanging out studying. Guy I peg as a homeless hippie sees my books and starts talking about history. Turns out he's a prof at the local community college.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

Special thanks to my favorite history teacher @Kurt_Steiner for asking me to tell the story. Someday I'll do a thread about how I dropped out of high school...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

I've got this boomer friend who's a longtime NASA employee/contractor. I heard the story of the female astronaut on the ISS who sabotaged the toilet so they'd send her home early and asked him if it was true. He said it was true, and said stuff like that happens all the time...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

So the next semester I set out to get straight As. I sat in the front row, went to office hours to ask questions I already knew the answer to, expressed interest in social justice, quoted Howard Zinn, etc. (I never read People's History but that didn't stop me from quoting...)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

5 months

Never leave home without it. Maybe the best thing I’ve gotten from BAP.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

He's trying to get me to take his class (forget on what but I wasn't interested—think he mentioned Howard Zinn...) He's giving the hard sell and won't give up.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

8 months

@UpdatingOnRome Best I can do is Detroit

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

13 days

Deleted Gem

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

19 days

@ploughmansfolly nose job and lip filler tell me all I need to know

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

🧵... This is Joe Gatt. I don't know him well but we worked together once and I'd like to call him a friend. He's one of the nicer people I've had to pleasure of working with. Just a kind generous humble person and damn good actor. And then he got framed as a pedophile...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

4 months

🧵about my personal history in Hollywood, sluts/skanks, and the roots of Me Too... 1/

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

with one key and discretion to lock the doors. The doors were locked 4 times during the history of the space shuttle. Each time it was some political hire passenger. Ad astra Tyrone 👍

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

4 months

Much was lost with Me Too. Film and Fashion hasn't been the same. And may never be the same. And the worst offenders, the most horrible people in the world, they got away scot-free.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

19 days

This bridge on Highway US 50 in Western Colorado was just closed indefinitely due to safety concerns. It's the only way to get from Montrose CO to Gunnison CO. For residents it means a 6 hour 354 mile detour. BUT... other people's wars are more important I guess.

Wall Street Silver

@WallStreetSilv

19 days

:“The last official act of any government is to loot the treasury.” George Washington Quote $95 billion send for money laundering thru Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Kilmov had the cooperation of the Red Army. And as such, and to ensure authenticity, they used LIVE AMMO. The scene when the Germans attack the partizan camp is the Red Army shooting REAL artillery shells at the CHILD ACTORS and crew.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Said that there was a freakout on an early space shuttle mission. One of the political hire "astronauts" freaked the fuck out and tried to open a door. They had to tie the person up until they got back to earth. After that mission commander was given padlocks...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

25 days

Biographical🧵about Under The Silver Lake (with spoilers) and my little pill problem…

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

7 months

@Howlingmutant0

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

Here’s a 🧵 discussing the discussion of film… (TLDR: You’re overthinking it.)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Much love buddy, -Rambo Van H.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

So fuck the haters. It's an incredible film. It's also free to watch on the Mosfilm Youtube so check it out. And while you're there check out the other gems of Soviet Cinema.

Come and See | WAR FILM | FULL MOVIE

1943, the Great Patriotic War, territory of Belarus. The 16-year-old boy Flera, having dug out a carbine among scraps of barbed wire, rusty machine-gun belts...

www.youtube.com

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Ambitions and *compliant* plus a little CRAZY and wants to be a Goddess. That’s an actress. It’s also an archetypal whore. And it’s something we celebrate. And it’s very strange when I think about it.

Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

4 months

🧵 about Celebrity Worship, Hypnosis, and Synthetic Sky Deities....

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

The best trick is to make him think it was HIS idea. His skills of seduction. His power. His STATUS that he’s spent years accumulating. His kind generosity of letting her audition without a bikini because she’s running late and having a rough day. Women know this.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

7 months

@ComfortablySmug You know those chicks who work for liquor companies that offer you free shots of nasty booze in bars ("Hey guys! Want to do a Fireball shot with me?") They all have marketing degrees.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

How many ambitious, compliant, slightly mentally ill women went to Harvey Weinstein’s hotel suite to perform the forgot my bikini trick? Or the things aren’t going well with my boyfriend trick? (And why do whores call it a trick?)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Victim worship was only part of the Me-Too story. By assuming the mantle of victim and martyr these women were absolved of the sin of whoredom and the guilt that came with it. General absolution. Your sins have been absolved, now go forth with fury and the stomping of dyke boots.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

🧵 Another casting story. This time about big boobs... (TLDR: Wholesome ending but brings up some issues about how & what women communicate with their bodies—especially to other women.)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

And of course... she played us. There’s no way she was wearing a $600 thong on a random weekday afternoon in The Valley. And there’s no way a pro actress would forget her bikini for a big callback.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

That wasn't a special effects shot. There were no pro effects guys setting off safe charges. It was REAL ARTILLERY. And I have heard they didn't tell the CHILD ACTORS beforehand what was about to happen. Wow.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

And of course you won't see anything about him clearing his name in the Mainstream Media. He's still too male, too white, too privileged. Narrative and all that... I really love his acting. I hope he gets back to work soon. Check out one of his shows if you get the chance...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

But it wasn't until psycho cunt DA left and a new DA came in that they realized how bad they fucked up. Thankfully all charges were dropped a few weeks ago... Full story here:

Celebrity Scapegoat: Actor Joe Gatt Clears Name, DDA Brunson’s Tactics Questioned - Artvoice

When actor Joe Gatt was arrested in April 2022, some 150 American news outlets reported the shocking story. Headlines appeared such as: "Game of Thrones actor charged with 'contact with a minor for a...

artvoice.com

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

13 days

Working at coffee shop. First date happening at next table. Dude brings up bodycount. Girl counters by talking bible and Jesus. There's got to be a meme for this.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Even crazier than the live artillery is what they did to lead actor Aleksei Kravchenko. He was 14 at the time. They induced a state of shell shock thru drug induced hypnosis and making him watch hours and hours of the worst war footage (the stuff that doesn't make news reels).

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

18 days

The Emasculation of Kokopelli If you travel around the American Southwest you'll notice this guy. On t-shirts, mugs, signage, bumper stickers, tattoos. But this image is in now way "authentic". It's been modified for modern sensibilities and the needs of our vapid elite...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

AND we KNEW we’d been played. But we loved every second of it and (this is important) she did too.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

@AnaxoSmithKline Same. But the autodidact life is lonely. It would have been nice to have peers to discuss with and mentors to guide me.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Much was lost with Me-Too. One of the ironies is that sexy actresses are no longer in vogue. This is a tragedy because women like Ms. Agent Provocateur worked hard for what they had. Effortless beauty requires a great deal of effort.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

She leveraged her assets and beat out the other 79 most beautiful women in the world. Ms. Agent Provocateur probably made at least $100k (in late aughts dollars) for a one-day shoot. Nice work if you can get it.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

They also starved him (just as the partizans starved). By the end of production he looked like a wrinkled old man and his hair was actually grey. That's not makeup...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Needless to say she got the part. I nodded, director made a thumbs up sign, agency guys grunted, and the client said “book her”. It took less than 5 seconds. I’ve never had commercial talent approved that quickly. She hadn’t even left the building.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

20 days

I putting together a team

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

4 months

Victim worship was only part of the Me Too story. By assuming the mantle of victim/martyr these women were absolved of the sin of whoredom and the guilt that came with it. 21/

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Models are awesome. Different vibe than actress. They don't care about fame and their heads aren't fucked. You can date/marry a model. Most are intelligent, interesting, funny, sweet, and all of them are hot.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Hands down weirdest job interview: Mythbusters They asked me for sperm...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

18 days

@costin_eats lack of thigh gap noted

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

I think she was a friend of the casting director and he probably suggested the stunt after seeing how bored we were (most likely not the first time he pulled this).

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

And then the psycho fan found a psycho DA in Los Angeles. That's her real pic BTW. Look at the eyes...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

How my diabetes turned a young heterosexual woman into a man hating lesbian… 🧵

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

(This is a spoiler BTW...) The scene where Glasha realizes what's happened to Flyora's while he's still oblivious still haunts me many years later. Sheer horror.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Thumbnail plot: WWII in Belorussia. Teenage boy finds rifle, joins partizans, chaos ensues... Director Elem Klimov insisted on authenticity. And this is where things get crazy...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

4 months

🧵Continuing the discussion on Me Too and its aftermath here’s another one on Hollywood. About the tension between creative and corporate goals, and the exit of the Big Swinging Dick.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

Grad Student spent years working on his thesis, and had just successfully argued it. Now he’s faced with a credible counterargument from a living primary source. He looks at me (jaw agape) in silence. After a pause he grunts “I don’t believe you” and storms away.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

And in the end she didn’t need to fuck anybody for the part—she got it without going there. (And no you pervert, the casting director was a homo and wasn’t banging her.)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

Update:

'Game of Thrones' star Joseph Gatt files $40 million lawsuit after...

He claims his 2022 arrest destroyed his "acting career and personal reputation."

decider.com

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

But what if it was a BIG role? A life changing role that would make you a LIVING GODDESS to the people back home in Shitsville?

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Men like Terry Richardson and Harvey Weinstein walked that line--and may have crossed it. But most of the allegations were BS made by women who knew exactly what they were after and exactly how to get it (and in most cases DID get it).

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

18 days

(and if you have a Kokopelli tattoo I would suggest adding a giant cock for the sake of authenticity)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

12 days

Bookstores are places where you find books you didn't know you wanted.

eugyppius

@eugyppius1

13 days

brick-and-mortar booksellers have become absolutely worthless shops, which are simultaneously and very mysteriously always full of people. i cannot imagine what all those idiots are doing there, because it is impossible to find any specific book in these places unless you're…

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

I think she and every other actress in the world would go there. Not every woman but definitely every actress.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

18 days

The legendary Hans Feurer

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

One day on set someone said “Dude, you know what would be really cool?” And someone else says “Dude, that would be cool!” Then they tell the DP who’s like “Bro… let’s tell the director.” And the director is like “Oh fuck yeah let’s try that.”

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

1 month

@cocacolaaddictt it's like i was born that way🤔

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Adding to the guilt is the anxiety of knowing that the clock is running out. Their assets are perishable. Maybe they get a decade? Maybe less? Time comes for all of us. Women are acutely aware of this fact.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

What would any of us do to become a god?

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

5 months

From Hyper-normalization by Adam Curtis

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

People want to believe that there’s hidden meaning and secret knowledge to be discovered by THEM and no one else. I’m certainly guilty of this. But when it comes to film I know better...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

18 days

We know Kokopelli is a "he" because on all of the rock paintings he has a giant erect penis.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Again, this was the pre-Me-Too era when hot chicks still sold cars on TV. The good old days.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Of course, it’s not just analogous to prostitution it isprostitution. And like all prostitutes they feel guilt. And the more pleasurable it was the more guilt they feel.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

5 months

🧵 LOVE LETTERS TO LOS ANGELES 🧵 Here's another movie thread. This time about love letters on film to my hometown of L.A. where the city becomes a supporting character.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

(BTW I could do a whole thread about the set dressing in Gattaca and on-set personality conflicts...)

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

I had a costumer friend who did a project with Jon Hamm. Before she was allowed to meet him there was a briefing on his abnormally large penis, known as the Hammaconda. A big part of her job was the somehow hide the Hammaconda BUT she was not allowed to mention or refer to it.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

29 days

In 2002 every American gurl looked this this. You'd walk up and ask to see their boobs and they'd just rub them on your face for a nominal fee (about the same price as a Subway Cold Cut Combo). Then you'd have boob residue fogging your glasses for the rest of the day...

cinesthetic.

@TheCinesthetic

29 days

Britney Spears, 2002

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

She says the line, takes some direction (compliance!), says the line again, gets dressed (effortless and seductive), and leaves. I was rock hard. We all were.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

80 actors is a big callback. Bikini clad hot woman comes into the room, flirts with us, says the line, leaves, repeat. It’s a conveyor belt and after a while they all look the same. Imagine flipping pages in an endless men’s magazine for hours.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

4 months

There’s no one left to say: The romantic interest in Dune shouldn’t have a unibrow. Or Why is does a Star Wars movie need a lesbian romantic subplot.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Any responsible prosecutor would have looked at the obviously photoshopped texts and movie screenshots, asked a few simple questions, and that would be that. But this crazy cunt saw a career opportunity. It early 2022 in the tail end of Me Too and Believe All Women...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Guys, I need 11 more followers. This is important.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

When it comes to film most people are chained up in the proverbial cave hypnotized by the shadows on the wall and trying to divine their meaning and the intentions of the “auteur”... Now, i know it’s all BS because I was the guy making the shadows...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Little story about tech displacing film workers...

Oilfield Trash1960

@trash196053474

2 months

@RamboVanHalen A generation of stedicam guys is retiring with nowhere near the accolades they deserve.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

So Joe is in and out of court for 2 years. Finally a digital forensic investigator looked at the fake texts (something that should have happened before the arrest) and knew they were bogus...

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

18 days

And so Kokopelli--powerful god, creator of life, bringer of children--was commercialized and castrated. And if it can happen to a GOD what are they going to do to you? Keep that in mind the next time you're in a national park gift shop. Namaste 🙏 -Rambo

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

5 months

Saturday Night Movie 🧵 There's no way I can come up with a top 10 but here's a list of films that I love, changed me, and/or have technical merit. These are presented in no particular order. I like them all.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

27 days

So when something is framed in perspective it looks crooked to him. He prefers that things look straight, so everything is shot dead center straight and balanced. Nothing is crooked.

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Rambo Van Halen

@RamboVanHalen

2 months

Being polite gentlemen we obliged. And in an effortlessly graceful seductive way she strips off her basic top and jeans down to see-thru Agent Provocateurs. (which looked something like this:)

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