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@NiWachera

4,803
Followers
790
Following
221
Media
33,688
Statuses

Choleric

East Africa
Joined January 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
I know its hard but don't tire yet. Things will fall into place eventually... Keep on keeping on!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
Uhuru Kenyatta addresses Kenyans like we are trespassing on his private property.
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@NiWachera
Wachera
2 years
Safaricom with their little threats experienced the highest customer withdrawal of funds in the shortest timeline in the history of transactions.. 😆
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
You travel outside Nairobi and your body automatically clears cache..
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@NiWachera
Wachera
2 months
A civilian is casually breaking tragic news of high ranking millitay officers... Lines will be drawn in due course
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
A friend who's been tarmacking from 2013 got a job offer. She will be reporting on 9th January (Insh'Allah) and will be heading operations in Eastern and Central Africa.. This God ah 😭😭😭😭😭🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Niliambia butcher asiniwekee nyama ya mafuta akaniuliza kama nataka abaki nayo ajipake.. Had no comeback. Am still applying water on burnt areas 😭😭😭
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Downgrading from a one BEDROOMED house to a cheaper BEDSITTER because things ain't working in your favour has to be the real walk of shame. We stride on regardless.. 😌
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Apparently, I have been walking around with my blouse inside out. Since morning & nobody noticed except for this street kid who shouted at me 'Auntie, ni stress au ni fashion?' Guess who am having lunch with later in the day? Someone who called out my mistake for me to rectify.❤
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
'.. We are poorer than our parents with the education they never had.. ' 💔
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
Hapa Aga Khan walk the police are asking for a small donation of Kshs 1000 from anyone without a face mask. Plan your finances accordingly.
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Kenya at 55, past menopause but still bleeding..! #JamhuriDay
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Wazazi wenu walienda interview ya Census na Premio na Rav 4J.. Lakini youth tunaambiwa tuwache mentality ya employment we create jobs.. SAD!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
Yesterday Kenyans of goodwill contributed Kshs 1.4 million to Alvan Love... WOW!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
Well,
Tweet media one
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@NiWachera
Wachera
2 months
$225 for TOEFL exam. Being a British colony, we should be able to present our KCSE English results ffs!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Larry Madowo was The Trend and The Trend was Larry not this other Mathogothanio
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Kikuyus and their greed!!.. In Mombasa no passenger would board a Matatu in excess even the conductor has his own seat.. Kuja Thika, Mataara na chania haziwezi toka stage kama hazijabeba wanne wanne. TUJIANGALIE!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
You haven't gone to bed hungry since the COVID-19 menace. You are not working but someone somewhere makes sure you get what you need (bills settled etc). Having in mind the situation is tough everywhere. THIS IS TO ALL OF YOU WHO'VE HAD OUR BACK ALL THIS TIME. ASANTENI SANA ❤️
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Shoba angekuwa serious saa hii I'd be nursing his ugly ass babies but he chose aviation full-time 😒😒😒
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Systems ziko down. Kuja kesho saa sita ~ Lazy employees in government offices Proverb 😒😒😒
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
My cousin wants to quit her job as a quantity surveyor to start her own barbershop. She told grandma who asked her,'..Utige wira munene uguo ukanyitaage arume makai..? 😂😂😂😂
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Everybody tweeting about payday and salary... Nikama mtatupea depression wenye hata salary hatujui ni nini 😞😞 Lord, I have seen what you are doing for others. Please give me a constant source of income 🙏🙏
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
There's a fella who tweeted that Uhuru chills at the balcony, counts the number of V8s and concludes that the economy is doing just fine... He was right!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
Hiuria itina fiu😅😅, ugacooka ukiugaga arume othe ni ngui. Translation: wear your mask all the time, or you go for mandatory quarantine at your own cost. ~ Pearl Mumbi
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
My father turns 59 today. Wished him a Happy birthday and he texted back '.. Niko kwa mkutano nitakutumia Baadaye' (money in this case) LMAO what love language do these people understand?
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@NiWachera
Wachera
2 years
'... 70-80 year olds are regarded unemployable due to mental decline and skill mismatch yet they are exclusively running the country..'
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
If I had a tech company, I'd never think twice hiring JKUAT IT graduates..
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Umri sio hekima hata wapumbavu huzeeka ✌
@karigoh
UnpRAWvoked
6 years
Does maturity come with age or experience?
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
IT guys, do y'all have to be skinny and smoking weed? 😫
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
Taitas are the Luos of Coast...
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
Do Kanjo vehicles go for inspection coz their road worthiness is highly questionable...
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Urafiki mwingine ni kama mti wa Papai. Haufai mbao, haufai kuni..!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
Quote of the day: ''..... Privilege isifanye ukuwe ng'ombe.. ''
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Joblessness has been the toughest stage of my life and God knows how many times I thought of harming myself but grew a thick skin because mama raised no weak ass bitch! Today, I look back in awe coz Imela Papa! Its the small wins that make it all worth.. Ebenezer
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@NiWachera
Wachera
2 years
A service provider went ahead and provided groundless reasons to deliberately inconvenience customers. Who in their right mind would've watched their funds frozen in the dance with the green witches?
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
Beloved, did you know that there's a kitty 'bursary' for the ruling class' kids to study abroad?? Now you are in the know I'm.. OK nvm
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
This is exactly how DYNASTIES are created! Legislative inheritance and sympathy votes.. Kenyans 🤦‍♀️
@ntvkenya
NTV Kenya
3 years
Juja by-election: Waititu's widow gets Jubilee nomination
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Master, utawacha kula kwa hoteli juu hujui nani alikula na hizo vijiko 😆😆😆
@B3laze
Blaze Officiel
6 years
Haha i aint eating pussy anymore. You donno whose dick had been there.
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Ng'ombe wa nyuma huchapwa Kwa sababu tu yuko karibu na mchungaji lakini anayechelewesha msafara ni Ng'ombe wa mbele!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Dear MPESA Agents, a PASSPORT is a VALID document of identification. This lady reversed a transaction because I produced a PP, the only document I had with me apart from the license left in the car. So angry right now almost punched her ugly attitude back to its maker, Satan 😤
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Can we stop pretending like Sharon Otieno is the inventor of university girls/ old men relationships.. These relationships are there Period! Now work on the murders. Thank you!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
'.. The trending of this 'BORA UHAI' slogan depicts an underlying serious,psychological problem in Kenyan society! It means a good number has given up on their dreams and good life. All they value is being alive to see a day at a time... '
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Craving for those hugs from behind.. The kind that triggers vaginal leaks and the slimy mess of fertility juices between the thighs 🙈
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
I loathe those DCI narrations tbh. Unless whoever concerned is writing a book, the threads should be direct and straight to the point! We have enough entertainment already and the same should not be expected from a government entity. PTHO!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
When a fine nigga in the jav says hi and the vagina responds with a couple of seismic twitches 😅😅😅
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Chanting tano tena is one of my most regrettable mistakes!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Good morning my fellow Chinese of Kenyan origin. Nikujipanga my frens. Si ni namna hio?
Tweet media one
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
In the house chilling a kid storms in sees me naked, runs out screaming 'auntie wa Ile nyumba ako uchi' Later, some lady knocks tells me to dress up this hood got kids. I'm there like yea the neighborhood got kids but this house has none. SLAM!! Well, I just got me an enemy
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Joyce wa mama : Mwendwa hutia uuu Me : Onawe kunga uuu 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Tweet media one
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
So today I understood the meaning of being there for people who'll never be there for you. I got on the wrong side of the law and most of the rescue calls and texts to people I'd take a bullet for went unanswered... Just had my little freedom but still.. WOW!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Driver of KBX 690F Kaka Travelers plying Kiambu road is hot AF! Smells really nice with a cute little smile. He said hi and I almost paid his bus fare.. 😩
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
The rains are not destroying our roads. They are exposing the shitty work done by the heavily paid contractors. Let that sink!!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Nikama hamjui desperation ya kuambia hadi strangers wakujenge. Unaangaliaga options zako zote unakosa mtu wa kukam through.. Ukiweza msaidie mwenzio. Most people are fighting unspoken battles na most of them ni kusota
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Came across my father's payslip.. Whatever miracles that man performed to raise us all with those few coins.. Unbelievable!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
We've lost Oliver Mtukudzi and James Ingram in Weeks time.. Wow! There must be a serious reshuffle on the angels choir in Heaven.. Forever in our hearts. Rest well Legends!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Someone left for Bahrain to do domestic work because this country's job market is pure garbage! Life is hard already, we can't afford basic stuff and job hunt is such an extreme sport.. Fuck the system and any fucktard that believes in this fucking administration!!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
2 years
@monicwan Beautiful scenes of subscribers exhibiting consumer power. I too had to move my Kshs 183 from Mshwari to bank 😌
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
No matter how much money you make, treating and managing a chronic ailment will always have you on your knees..
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
NTV and Kwese is that guy who promises you mind blowing sex but when you get in bed he can't even get an erection 😒😒
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
Nikikafunga viserious sitajenga mall. I'll hire 6 of the world's most lethal assassins to deliver 'justice'....
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@NiWachera
Wachera
2 years
@Mimi_mathen The deadline extension was their 'sooojaaaa tunavamiwa' moment. Beautiful scenes! Maybe the short stuff from my community will reconsider such punitive moves in the future.
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
@karigoh I am a perfectionist and most of time am hard on others as I want things done my way.. My silence treatment is unparalleled and I realized a little late that I get emotionally manipulative with my irritability. I'm learning to unlearn, a journey I decided to take. 😳
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Lord please, a constant source of income 🙏🙏🙏
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
'.. Ukiguza hii tutalala hapa..' ~ IT Proverb
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
While everybody is pretending to be living their best life, I will keep it a buck. I'm freaking struggling. Life has been throwing me a bunch of curveballs and I'm just trying to remain SANE. I'm not gonna fake it until I make it. I want to MAKE IT so that I don't have to FAKE IT
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Marry a governor and you'll be dragged in his whoring mess. Date a rifle slaying fuckboy and the local dailies will sell with your name as the headline..
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
When CORRUPTION benefits them, they call it CONNECTIONS
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Camera inashikwa ukiwa uchi na badala ufiche uso unaficha matiti..? Nani aliwalea nyinyi? 😒😒
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Wanted to comment on that 'highly' pushed Zoe lotion nikakumbuka niliitwa bitter angry turban wearing Austo with boobs nikamaintain 😊
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@NiWachera
Wachera
3 years
High school admission numbers gave some of us Mpesa pins 😅
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Muthamaki is in a military ceremonial attire eeh? Kuria Mapesa is probably wanking on his tea in utter celebration..
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Mkikuyu ataenjoy saa ngapi na akiona matiti anakumbuka viazi hazijatolewa kwa shamba na mvua inaongezeka 😂
@doctah254
doctah🎤™
6 years
Strip clubs are a joke. I really tried to see what people enjoy there sikuona.
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
To whom it may concern: Kindly remind your brothers and sisters to apply for the second batch of Interns under the PSC Internship Program before the 5th November 2019 deadline. Kindest Regards
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
2019 we eating anything and everything just to add weight and if anyone questions our appetite, we eat them too 😌😌
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
2018, same year that I was denied visa by two different embassies but a food production in France wants me to acknowledge and confirm an invite this coming autumn.. 😭😭😭😭😭🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
This week alone has had institutions churn more than 10,000 graduates.. The point I'm trying to cut across is that a good number of posts are reserved for the 'elderly', companies are shutting down and the government is demolishing stalls.. Grow a thicker skin beloved ❤
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Getting into university is one thing, graduating is another and grade comes last. You come out to join fellas who never joined college making it big. You realize that a degree and a job ain't equal to wealth...
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
Mjaluo akishalipa rent kama sio kelele ya Ampex, he'll comfortably have a conversation on ground floor with his fellow who's on 8th floor 😒
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Mwanamke ni kama bati. Usipoligongea msumari vizuri, utalikuta kwa jirani wala usilaumu upepo... Mpo?
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
I have used Swvl a couple of times and am cringing at the thought of going back to Matatus. Kwanza the loud music ah ah!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
In Kenya, you are a sickness away from Poverty. Woe unto you if you're managing a chronic ailment.. 💔
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
I have flipped a couple of Kikuyu channels and it happens that most of them are running adverts selling herbal medicine for treating erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, mandachu boosters.. Anga ndui..... Er beloved house of Mumbi is everything OK? 😕
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Morning Sex is the kind of body therapy medics fail to mention...
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Eh! Kumbe '.. Chinese brunette destroyed by monster cock..' is produced in South C.. 🐸
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Wueh! Huku kwa waluhya nimepikiwa kumbe kumbe. Those insects are crunchier than your half air bag of crisps. Totally recommended 😋😋😋😋
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Dear future life partner, Enjoy rice while you can because that meal will feature nowhere in our menu. With love, Your dear future wife.
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Anyone else received their December Mpesa statement?? Mi nko Coptic nikiekwa maji aki..... All that money went wheya? 😢😢😢😢
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Mzazi anakutumia kakitu, anafuatiliza na simu ya kuuliza kama umepata na maombi ya 10 minutes.. Alipe hio school fees yote na bado akulipie rent ukiwa 50years.. Hii milango itabidi tumevunja sasa juu nikama haifunguki 😞
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
It was on Jamhuri day when another got a full scholarship to pursue Medicine and Surgery at the University of Adelaide starting from May 2019 😭😭😭🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
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@NiWachera
Wachera
4 years
I have dissected this advert and in all honesty, the TA is the First Family. Email it to Statehouse beloved 😊
@TwigaFoods
Twiga Foods
4 years
Call for Contract Farmers! Twiga Foods is expanding its operations and opening its platform to more contract farmers. If you meet the following criteria, here is an opportunity for you to join us! #contractfarmers #twigafoods
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
There's someone who tweeted that he's paid house rent and now has a place to starve to death. I'm relating to the tweet right now 😑
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
Never think that you mean the world to anyone. In fact, you may come to realize that you mean a very small village with no tarmac road, no electricity and no access to clean water ~ Anonymous
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
From LinkedIn To whom it may concern:
Tweet media one
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
I'm not sure how true this is but yesterday I learnt that Kikuyu men don't discipline kids named after their mothers..
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
When am into you, I'll call and text as often as I can. But the moment you start behaving like I'm the only one who can afford airtime, pia mimi narudisha mkono Alah!
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
Nimekaa hivi nikakumbuka day fulani M'Ethiopia aliletegwa tukadanganywa ni General Mathenge. Raia akakula raha na taxpayers money na bado alikuwa akisema 'I'm no Kenyan'.. Mathenge Bandia 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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@NiWachera
Wachera
6 years
So huku mnabrag about being influenced by other people.. Hamwezi tumia akili independently lazima mbebewe?? 😂😂😂😂
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
@citizentvkenya Thats exactly how Kenyan graduates are putting food on the table.. Thankfully
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@NiWachera
Wachera
5 years
They say when a woman loves she loves for real. But have you met a guy who's into you? He'd be down for you with his all no matter what.. 💪
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