Mūrūthi @Ngartia Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Mūrūthi

@Ngartia

33,479

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1,735

Following

10,808

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Storyteller | Poet Fill the form below to help us restage #DaiVerse :

Kenya

https://t.co/fgzZ2JUC5K

Joined December 2010

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@Ngartia

Mūrūthi

7 days

I didn't expect so many people would be interested in a rerun of #DaiVerse 😭 Kumbe mnakuanga mmenyamazia tu. Anyways, if you've said we do the thing, we garra do the thing. Help us figure out some logistics by answering a couple of questions here: 🙏🏿

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Re-Run of DaiVerse by Ngartia

Hi there wonderful human, I recently did a poetry-based theatre production alongside some of my immensely talented friends. A number of people who could not make it for various reason have been...

docs.google.com

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Last Seen Profiles

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@Usagidoodles

@Ngartia

Mūrūthi

5 years

It was to protect the floor

@mikassong

DONA 🎀

5 years

if you ever feel useless, remember someone made a protective cover for Nokia 3310

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Then how the hell was your head under water but you were breathing fine?

@johnlegend

John Legend

5 years

I can't really swim. Today I took my first swim lesson since I was like 5. My dad learned in his 60's so I feel like I'm ahead of schedule.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

THIS IS THE MOST SHAMELESS FLEX I HAVE EVER WATCHED IN MY LIFE! WHAT?! MARY MAGIC MANEUVER MOVES MORAA! 🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪

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Mūrūthi

4 months

Ni za Bata?

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4 months

Drip check

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Mūrūthi

3 years

Wait till you hear about a President named Freedom.

@its_nduati

🇰🇪 Mr Man

3 years

How TF would a cowardly dog be named 'Courage'?

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Mūrūthi

1 year

Tutajioshea.

@SirAlexas

Aleckie Ronald

1 year

Na msituitishe maembe, si mlisema hatuna maji??? 😒😒😒😒

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Mūrūthi

8 years

Of course women know not all of us are out to harass them. They are not dumb. Quit trying to convince them not all men are trash. They know.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Nairobi unachapa line ya matatu 45 minutes alafu unapata ni ya ATM ya Co-op.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

“We are standing here at mambo moto kiosk, where this man Om…Omu… “Oomsakhulu…” “Oomsakhulu is about to drink boiling chai straight from the sufuria!”

@norbalm

Norbert Almeida

2 years

Curfew.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Some of my favourite Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki moments: 1973. Vihiga. The Minister of Finance speaking on the issue of family planning.

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Mūrūthi

3 years

My Kikuyu people are out here like, “It is not just cold. It is…”

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Lmao never thought I’d bump into the colonial settler farm my grandfather worked at… on twitter… masquerading as a tourist attraction 💀

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Mūrūthi

1 year

How difficult is it to understand? Christianity is unAfrican. It DESTROYED our cultures. If it wasn't for missionaries, we wouldn't have needed to fight for independence. Missionaries watched and condoned all the crimes perpetuated against our people.

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Mūrūthi

3 years

Does Kenya know?

@ntvkenya

NTV Kenya

3 years

Kenya commits to end deforestation by 2030 #COP26

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Mūrūthi

2 years

From the nation that gave you:

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Mūrūthi

2 years

My current biggest motivation is the desire to meet Snoop Dogg, make him an honorary Kenyan, and call him Bosco.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

BREAKING NEWS: Queen Elizabeth runs into Dedan Kimathi and a mbogi of the Mau Mau variety.

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Mūrūthi

3 years

The “K” is for “Kenya”.

@Fact

Fact

3 years

A "kakistocracy" is a system where the government is run by the worst, least qualified, or most unscrupulous citizens.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Why are people I was in school with having multiple kids, getting married and running for political office? What’s wrong? What’s going on? Where are the adults? Why are they letting you do this? Don’t we have homework?

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Mūrūthi

4 years

Everyday I understand why Essau sold his firstborn privileges to Jacob for stew. I’d give up this shit for a hug tbh

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Being born is nonsense. Being a first born is nonsenser. Being an adult first born is nonsensest.

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Mūrūthi

3 years

True 😍

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Mūrūthi

2 years

In Kenya they live on the TL under rallying calls like “shukisha hapa ndo kuna vita”.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Listen, this is a film written, acted and produced by people to whom I would gladly concede writing, acting and production jobs… Kama trailer haitakuconvince, drop pin. Tutamuok na kikoto ya wale wagenje tubanje tukiche ka hutacheza na rieng’…💕✨

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Mūrūthi

2 years

The sticker just came off an Imperial Leather soap I was using and… errm… I just wanted to ask… Has this happened to anyone out there before? What are the recommended procedures after here?

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Excuse me. What the hell is this?! 😭😭😭😭

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Mūrūthi

5 years

LOL! So I’m reading up on Mau Mau’s Field Marshall Mwariama and this took me out! 😂😂😂😂

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Mūrūthi

2 years

One of my absolute favourite 🇰🇪 things is how casually we throw the word “imagine” around.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Did he... ghost her?

@weirdnews

Weird News

5 years

Woman Who Married A 300-Year-Old Pirate Ghost Reveals They’re splitting up

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Mūrūthi

2 years

When you meet someone from a totally different background with the same trauma as you

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Mūrūthi

2 years

A certain seat at the Muthaiga Club’s Men’s Bar is forever vacant.

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Mūrūthi

1 year

Heh!

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Mūrūthi

2 years

In 2018, I called Field Marshal Mūthoni and got the sharpest, most deserved reproach. She was clear: we'd failed her. For generations. Then turned out to be the loveliest, mischievous Cūcū with crackling humour. Only @aleyakassam could capture the complexity of that moment

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Okay today I sent a boda guy to Buru Buru and he went to Bul Bul so this is no longer a joke.

@Ngartia

Mūrūthi

5 years

Kikuyu problems include realizing Gilgil and Gigiri are different places.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Talking dirty to a Christian like “turn the other cheek”.

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Mūrūthi

1 year

Petition to have that sign at JKIA changed to “Nimeboeka, gwaheri”

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Mūrūthi

4 years

I feel like today was the best day for this tweet:

@Ngartia

Mūrūthi

6 years

Basically watu wa Nairobi wakiamua kuchuja Sonko watakuwa wamedrop Mike.

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Mūrūthi

4 years

Ndo tuone anajaribu juu chini.

@Ednah___

Edzil Saliba Timber

4 years

Wale mnajua ukweli, why did Uhunye have an inverted plate🙄

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Mūrūthi

3 years

I’ve returned to this short over and over in the last three years. No idea why, but it speaks to a visceral part of my being. I know I’ll still seek it out. I’m grateful for Michael K Williams’s life, work.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Bruh 😱

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Kibwagizo is such a solid word.

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Mūrūthi

7 years

Remember this as the day #Githeriman singlehandedly kept the spirits of a nation up. Of course because his other hand was occupied. 😂

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Imagine having the UN and US embassy in your constituency.

@KBCChannel1

KBC Channel1 News

2 years

PARLIAMENTARY SEAT Gilgil Constituency, Martha Wangari re-elected

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Everyone in Nairobi is waiting for some kapayment.

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Mūrūthi

3 years

Number of Kenyan astronauts about to increase exponentially.

@latestinspace

Latest in space

3 years

Scientists have discovered a giant cloud of alcohol – 1,000 times larger than the diameter of our solar system – floating in space. Enough to fill 400 trillion-trillion pints of beer.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Tell him it’s okay to stop now, the British are gone 😭

@QueenGathoni

GATHONI K.

5 years

WAU, there’s a guy here (87 years old), who has been running since 1945. 🙄🤷🏽‍♀️ #SafaricomMarathon #EveryStepCounts

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Mūrūthi

1 year

Every African ancestor in the spirit world at the moment:

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@WanjiruNjoya

Wanjiru Njoya

1 year

We are informed that Britain "stole" its wealth from Africa, even though there was nothing there when the British arrived. If anything, the British brought trade, productivity, and wealth. Plus infrastructure: schools, hospitals, even the wheel. That's not "theft". It's a gift.

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Mūrūthi

4 years

There is so much big talk about cutting toxic people off and so little on the grief of losing people you thought were forever. Spirit breaking.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

The only reason I haven’t founded an startup that allows you to order construction sand through an app is because the name “m-changa” is taken.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

The guy who’d been accused of stealing a suitcase was acquitted quickly after the judge realized prosecution didn’t have their facts right. It was a brief case.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Kikuyu problems include realizing Gilgil and Gigiri are different places.

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Mūrūthi

6 years

When people are talking about spices but you grew up in a Kikuyu home:

@_wangwe

phantéau

6 years

Salt is such a magical ingredient

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Mūrūthi

1 year

What is “ghafla bin vuu”? Kikuyus were right when they said “hua!”

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Mūrūthi

2 years

I don’t know how to explain this but you can tell he’s from Limuru.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

This is also the time to put your privilege to use. Protect Somali people and Muslims in general from the nonsensical harassment that this Riverside thing might cause. Anywhere. However you can. Report accounts. Speak up.

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Mūrūthi

3 years

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Mūrūthi

5 years

There should be a discount on these taxi apps every time you give a driver directions.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

You know I used to think these things would make sense as an adult. Teachers were adults, right? Are. Are adults.

@tinakaggia

tinakaggia

2 years

17 girls in Mugoiri Girls High School, sent home after they were found to have gone for the second serving of the special meal offered on Sundays. The students are to be accompanied back to school by their parents and Sh.10,550 to cater for food for the whole school @NationFMKe

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Usiku kucha.

@Nyawira_h

SHAI GORGEOUS ALESSANDRA

6 years

What time do nails grow?

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Remember when Ezekiel Kemboi, Brimin Kipruto and Paul Kipsiele Koech pulled this on the world? 😍 📸: Adam Pretty

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Mūrūthi

2 years

We should have taken one big group photo at the end of 2019 because that’s the last time we saw the world we knew. Before the plague and WW3.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Nairobi wasn’t designed for Africans. Especially not the working class. You’re not suffering by accident.

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Bumped into a bunch of ferns. They told me how they grew up pore, but had to leaf home to follow their ferncy dreams. I just had to node and tell them I’m rooting for them.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Her name.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Fruit salads should have sugarcane.

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Basically watu wa Nairobi wakiamua kuchuja Sonko watakuwa wamedrop Mike.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Athletes always try to overtake Kipchoge, but he Eliuds them.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

It is a shame that our biggest stadium isn’t called Kasarunning.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

That era Kidum had this entire country like this

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Chase your dreams like they stole something from your mother. Forgive yourself like you have to spend the rest of your life with you. You do. Love. All. And yourself. Especially yourself.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Oya buana, Whatever the election results tusipigane buana. Including zile tweet za ushenzi…you may not hold the weapon but you have no idea which one of your followers takes you seriously. KUMBUKA: we are all we’ve got. [If the leaders cared, this tweet wouldn’t be needed.]

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Hi @netflix . We have this fantastic show. No idea who the writers are. The director is missing. The villains are in command. Everyone else has Stockholm syndrome. We never get the script, but every day is a goddamn climax. Interested? Working title is “Kenya”. Kind regards,

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Iko kazi KE?

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Mūrūthi

2 years

My second biggest goal in life is to be shouted out in a muugithi song.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Haiya! Alchemist haikuangi ya Paulo Coelho?

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Mūrūthi

5 years

@SheilaLMaina

Sheila

5 years

Niggas who don't communicate 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Remember Rihanna as a child? Ririkana.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Imagine being told you’re indisciplined by a suspect of crimes against humanity.

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Wow. So, don’t talk about sex. Don’t acknowledge that (young) people are having sex. Don’t offer useful sex education. Don’t support safe abortion. Hallelujah! Let’s go to heaven.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

It has been a few months and I still don’t know what to feel about that tweet that said men are good with kids because we are the same age.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

A woman was murdered. A man killed her. The crime is murder. Killing. Why is it so important for you to blame her? What fuels your need to sanitize the killer?

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Thought I’d bring this back.

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Mūrūthi

4 years

Beginning of Ending of the decade the decade

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Maintain this energy for the next few months ka mnajiamini. Msituchoche.

@NationAfrica

Nation Africa

2 years

Mwai Kibaki: President who squandered opportunity to fix Kenya

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Mūrūthi

8 years

You don't have a "safe man" stamped on your forehead. Neither do I. At face value, all of us are potential harm.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

I can hold the sex and money for y’all if you’re not using them.

@xxxx_vvvv452

fdghjyytsdfht

5 years

Remove sex and money from your relationship, what do you still have to offer?

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Mūrūthi

7 years

Imagine if the police went after all the people who have stolen taxpayer money the way they are going after Jimmy Wanjigi. Damn.

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Guys I think I woke up poor again. This has been happening for over twenty years and it’s shocking every day. I’m tired.

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Mūrūthi

1 year

To be honest I don’t know what fucked me up the most. The violence and alcoholism at home. Or the neglect and violent abuse in a Catholic boarding school. I was 8. 20 years later and I’m torn, while paying for my own therapy.

@6footBarefoot

Palm Tree 🌴

1 year

Abolishing boarding schools will be so bad for kids who use them to escape abuse/ hunger among other things.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Is it called tea because people love to go-ssip?

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Being born is nonsense. Being a first born is nonsenser. Being an adult first born is nonsensest.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Damn. I need a step by step explanation.

@Fact

Fact

5 years

Climacophilia: where someone is sexually aroused by falling down the stairs.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Sent this tweet at around midnight. I was exhausted, frustrated, close to tears and sincerely ready to give up. I just got a call confirming that what I was working on has gone through. Yoh!!! 😍😭😫

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Maybe I should just go back home and take care of bananas.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

Men. Where the problem is & has always been. We’re so used to impunity we don’t recognize it. Each of those men knew attacking the lady (and anyone) is wrong. They did it anyway. Because they’re used to getting away with it. Allowed, first, by fellow men. Who watch, silent.

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Mūrūthi

3 months

On this day 67 years ago, the British murdered Dedan Kimathi for fighting to free Kenya.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

The police have been looking for a dreadlocked robber. They say he is danger ras.

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Mūrūthi

5 years

Me going into the new year with no resolutions, control or direction

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Mūrūthi

5 years

TWENDENI AIRPORT

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Mūrūthi

6 years

Holding a memorial service for one of my shoes that fell into a waterhole... it is well... with my sole.

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Mūrūthi

6 years

If Kinjeketile had given the warriors biscuits instead: Manji manji Rebellion.

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Mūrūthi

2 years

THAT FOOL ESAU SOLD HIS BIRTHRIGHT FOR KAMANDE???!!!

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Mūrūthi

8 years

What they don't know, though, is which one of us is going to grab them in the alley or lift. You wouldn't want to be that unsure either.

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