Maybe Chris Hemsworth @MaybeNotChrisH Twitter profile

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

Your throne, Princess.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

5 months

My son's homemade Christmas card to me. Everything is okay, right?

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@MaybeNotChrisH

5 months

Do you sleep with a fan on or are you a psycho?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

My 13 yr old son made us all grilled cheese sandwiches. I've been craving one for a long time.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Never be afraid to shoot your shot.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

6 months

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

I need to relocate, find a house with at least 4 bedrooms that is less than 500k, some land for my 4 boys go explore on. Where am I moving too?

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@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

She's a 10, but doesn't like black licorice.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

28 days

I just wanted to let you all know, I'm taking a break from Twitter. I have some things I need to really focus on, but I'll be back in a few minutes.

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@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Are you like me and listen to one song 100 times in a row...or are you normal?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

@aprettyPR It's all about attention.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

In case you're wondering what I look like, my son drew this portrait of me.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

14 days

Hi

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Do I want 5 cheeseburgers tonight or 5 bottles of wine?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

7 months

I have an irrational fear of falling into a campfire. What are some of your fears?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

Me and who?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

What's a man gotta do for a proper grilled cheese sandwich?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

I thought it was Friday, until I realized it was really Thursday, but then realized it actually is still only Wednesday. 🙃

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 year

@WriterJewell It's like I always say, "one can never have too many plastic babies."

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

A woman will remain in her masculine energy until she feels safe enough to rest in her feminine energy.

🌺ℝ𝕒𝕨𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕪🌺

@wilder_rose_

1 month

Want me to be submissive? Take me out survival mode. Let me be a woman. Simple.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

When a woman says she likes to read mysteries and "what not," she means smut.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

Saw this on the wall at the new Boba shop

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

I'll pick you up at 6:00. Wear that black dress I like.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

17 days

I will not try to fix everyone's problems. I will not try to fix everyone's problems. I will not try to fix everyone's problems.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Hey, did you know I'm tall and have a beard?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

5 months

Taking care of my elderly mom, while juggling family and a career...it's heavy.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

6 months

My mom wouldn't let me watch Smurfs or He-Man growing up. Did your parents have stupid TV bans like that?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

Every single night I bring my Kindle in my bedroom to read and fall asleep before I can even open it. I literally cuddle with my Kindle. 🤣

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Watching a show with my son and he said, "I love that guy...he's a real man." I asked him why he thinks that. He said, "He's a leader. He reminds me of you." 🫠🫠🫠

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

Wanna know how cool I am? Every weekend I unlock my office building so I can sit in absolute silence and read.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

20 days

Crunchwrap Supreme

Mercedes Blanche

@mszrsmerci

23 days

Girls want 1 thing and it starts with a C

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

Idea: we buy a huge plot of land and go live in our own little Twitter commune. We cook delicious food and laugh and read amazing books and play music. (And I realize this sounds like the harem I started before, but it's gonna be different this time)

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

QT with your HS senior photo so everyone can see how cool you really were.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

I'm so thankful tonight to have a home with heating and electricity.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

I swear I'm not intoxicated, but isn't it weird to think gerbils and hamsters exist in the wild?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

I swear some of you are the same people under like 5 different accounts. I'm on to you!

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

Give your woman forehead kisses, yes. And eyelid kisses. And tip-of-the-nose kisses. And cheekbone kisses. And chin kisses. And corner-of-the-mouth kisses. And behind-the-ear kisses. And neck kisses. And collarbone kisses. (I'll stop there before things get too steamy.)

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

A woman at work calls me her sugar daddy because I have been her candy supplier for 12 yrs.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

28 days

This came with my treadmill and it has caused more conversations with my sons than I wanted to have right now.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

Not to brag, but.....

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

Be careful who you trust. Few are loyal, the rest use it as gossip.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to just go to sleep.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Just the right balance of chivalry and perversion

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

25 days

Will I ever get that feeling again?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

5 months

Women: "Cuddle me" Also women:

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

28 days

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

28 days

If you're wondering how I'm in the shape I am, this is my dinner.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

29 days

Why in the world would a man pay to DM a woman?

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

I like big books and I cannot lie.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Face only

ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕘𝕖

@Emerson_B_Rose

2 months

Face only

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

Thinking of wearing this Usher outfit to work tomorrow

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

18 days

If Twitter has taught me anything, it is that everyone else is having amazing sex except me.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

23 days

I use semicolons in my tweets. Do not mess with me.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

6 months

She's a 10, but she's batshit crazy.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

Because you're worth it (Money is a little tight these days)

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

29 days

I've got a theory about women who love pickles. Thinking of doing a study. I'll need two groups, one who love pickles and the other who do not.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

I probably am not Chris Hemsworth.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

I need a week of utter silence.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Every morning I want to kill my co-worker. I can hear him crunching his Teddy Graham crackers from 15 ft away.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

16 days

I now have a one-million dollar DM fee.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

23 days

I hope I've made your life better.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

14 days

I've come face-to-face with a bear on two occasions and I walked away unscathed both times.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

Black and white thread

👑Kim_Possible 👑

@KimVPoetry

3 months

Black and white thread

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

I desperately need a vacation.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Nothing makes me realize I need to lose weight more than sitting on a metal folding chair.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

Good morning

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

Today I start training a new employee...which means I cannot play on Twitter all day. This is a sad day.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

Ladies, stop watching the Oscars and start liking my tweets.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

How I feel after I open up to someone.

Sigma Surra

@oh_its_surra

3 months

How I feel after I open up to someone.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

9 days

The hot dog bun got stamped instead of the bag. Lol

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

4 months

I'm starting this week off right by closing a few of my 114 browser tabs.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

I've now wasted 1 year of my life on X (minus 6 months when I deactivated my account) This is the longest I've ever gone steady with a social media app.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

3 months

If you make me mad, I'm going to call you with the video chat feature. I've warned you.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

25 days

I'm about to do something I haven't done in years. Gonna take a nap.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

I'd like a year-long sabbatical to just read, think, create, and workout.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

13 yr old: Dad, you seem like the kinda guy who would like nerdy books.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

6 months

Discovered tonight my son ripped open his pillow and put the stuffing all over and under the tree.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

13 days

Fun fact: I've never been drunk.

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

1 month

A photo of you without your face

Ella 📸

@Ella_928

1 month

A photo of you without your face…

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

2 months

That feeling when you didn't think you needed a grocery cart, but then your arms are way too full because you bought more than you expected. Then you find an abandoned grocery cart. Pure Bliss!

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Maybe Chris Hemsworth

@MaybeNotChrisH

29 days

My work is done here.