Haley OC @MILFWEEED Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

I really gasped

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Haley OC

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1 year

Instead of taking pictures of strangers in public without their consent and posting them, this is what everyone should do! This is honestly so much funnier than taking a picture of someone you don’t know.

ryan ☄️ רפאל

@RyanSemegran

1 year

saw a guy hold his baby up to a painting like this today

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I think covid’s biggest lesson is that a lot of people need to get a hobby secondary to going out drinking

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

how do I explain to my gen x parents that the news is something you sit down and watch for 30 minutes and not insidious background noise for the entire day

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

the first person to assault me is graduating from grad school to become a therapist and there's few scarier sentences than that

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

My dad was so ashamed ordering my gluten free pineapple pepperoni pizza he said to the phone operator “it’s for my daughter she’s in from California”

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

If someone is flirting with me I need them to literally say “I’m flirting with you” or else I’m just like wow they’re nice

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

4 years

When I have sex with a friend? It’s PLATONIC. I sat on their face AS A FRIEND. We penetrated each other AS PALS.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

the masculine urge to sit on the toilet and disassociate for 45 minutes

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I want to have a party where everyone brings their favorite Trader Joe’s product and a joint

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

It should be illegal to charge more than $1000 in rent if there’s not in unit laundry

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

RIP to Jeff Bezos, he’s alive Im just manifesting

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

People love to stand at a party. Not me baby. I’m sitting. Finding the nearest seat. Bob bless y’all. I love to sit.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

The worst part of hangovers is knowing it’s all your fault and you did it to yourself

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Fellas when you send unsolicited dick pics you're driving the cost of dick down. In a capitalistic market you're providing too much dick to the consumers and they don't want it. we need dick SCARCITY to create dick DEMAND- Thread (1/18)

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

my coworker (37m) just bragged about making out with a 22 year old over the weekend and I screamed “EW! You’re 80 years old!!!”

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Raw-dogging the grocery store by going in high as fuck with no list

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

Alcohol is as much, if not more, a drug than weed and shrooms

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

the feminine urge to smoke weed, jerk off and nap all day

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Im not meant to work a 9-5, I’m meant to be pretty and smoke weed.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

when you realize that the studios have already lost 20x the money the WGA is asking for since the strike began you really see it’s just about greed, power and keeping your workers reliant on you. they could pay the WGA TOMORROW and not feel the dent.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

The laugh factory having “no r*ssian vodka served here” on their front door banner right after the “headlining: Chr*s d’*lia” sign is contemporary art

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

so annoying when I feel happy after working out. like okay I get it this is good for me. don’t be condescending about it.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Apple calendar having an absolute stroke over what to call today

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

smoking a joint before eating is what I call meal prep

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

y'all notice how I said First Person to assault me. this is the reality of most of the women in your life. buy them flowers and thank them.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

your bad mood is because you’re passively absorbing information about wars and shootings my dudes!!!

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

microdosing an orgasm by having sex with men

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Sending titties to my male friends as a reward for going to therapy

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

This airport drug dog dumb as shit I got weed in my backpack bro

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

My name is Haley and I love the below deck franchise. I will no longer hide my shame.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

My body type can best be described as Midwestern

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

@SaferHaywood She did NOT want to say it 😭😭

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Being in love is cool because you get regular sex with someone you trust. Would love to try it some day.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I’m a weed sun with a mushrooms moon and a tequila rising

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Told my dad I was bi today and he was very cool, said “date whoever makes you happy and treat you well” can I get a W

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

“I was wondering if you’d like to go chase some squirrels”

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

Self awareness on this boat: zero

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

he knows it’s the wrong audience too he just loves to skeeve me out.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

4 years

STOP TRYING TO SEXUALIZE EVERYTHING 🗣🗣🗣

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I hear a lot of people my age saying they “want a baby” but not hearing a lot of “want to be a parent” and there’s a real big difference they’re missing.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

Sending hugs, kisses, weed and strength to everyone for whom the holidays are a tough time. The end of the tunnel is near. No one knows who and how you are except you.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I’m gonna have sex this weekend. No plans or dates I’m just manifesting.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I’m begging women with tattoos to be slightly less hot before I pass out thank you

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

@Rev_Sans in my belief, the only way to teach them is to shame them, proud of u🫶

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I had a phase in college where I only wore costco flannels and timberland boots when I went out and those 12 months was the most sex i've had in my life

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

when one of my parents' friends are like "haley smells like weed" they're just like "she's in from california" it's how they explain everything they don't agree with me about

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 months

try not to say mommy challenge

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I almost horny tweeted but I jerked off first and now I’m one of God’s children again yall be well tho!

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

1. I didn’t ask and we don’t talk about hookups. 2. You’re all silly for debating this I’m sharing a funny retort I had to my coworkers inappropriate overshare 3. Bragging about hooking up with someone wayyounger than you is gross obv you see it as a trophy 4. Have a good day:)

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 months

Thique

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

When I hit my weed pen, I’m high. But when I smoke a joint, IM HIGH, you know?

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

men love to tell women "be careful" like y'all are the reason we have to be careful

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

men will watch tony soprano go to therapy for 6 seasons instead of going to therapy themselves

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

Just traded a joint for a rapid test don’t tell me weed won’t be a fantastic bartering tool in the end of the world

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

“Weed is a performance enhancing drug” The performances it enhances: masturbating, sex and eating

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

my first and (likely only) non controversial viral. Just retweets and likes. everyone agrees. Shall we all hold hands?

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

Sorry but I’m running through this like Red Rover

Page Six

@PageSix

2 years

Machine Gun Kelly, Megan Fox attend party chained together by their nails

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

“And also, I _ _ _ _ _ _”

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

If having to put a mask back on is the most upsetting thing happening in your life right now, you should probably be grateful??

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

4 years

Smoking weed with your parents is like breaking the fourth wall in reality

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Growing up the child of an alcoholic is so weird because every kid I knew talked about how cool and fun my dad was and I was like I’m scared to ride in the car with him :’)

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

@Piece_N_Love pineapple for sure! we're actually both celiac as it runs on his side of the family. but I think the combo of gluten free and pineapple just sounded a little too lavish for him.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I, both, think everyone wants to fuck me but no one is flirting with me

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I forget y’all think bob bless is a typo. I don’t like using god bless because I’m a recovering catholic and I know for a fact bob exists so thank bob.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

In 2020 before covid I got tiddyfucked by a 30 year old spacex engineer who later ghosted me so 2021 is already going better

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

What if you squeezed a tiddy and this sound came out

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Fuck I did not think this would bring attention. Thank you so much for all the love and compassion. Please remember to share that with every woman, man, non-binary person because you never know what people are going through or have gone through. Spread kindness please.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

4 years

If you come into my DMs with sexual shit, as a married man, I promise I will fuck your wife

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

@nectarina12 With an ass like that I’d try to fix him too 👀

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I love sex education so much I wish england was real

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

4 years

Fuck FRIENDS. GENIAL Genitals. CORDIAL Coitus. There's nothing sexual about it!

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

Imagine she’s cheering you on

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

I’m just lucky my hobby was already smoking weed

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 months

Yeah I consider myself a bit of a utilitarian and yeah I can hit it like that!

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

3 years

updating my hinge bio like "yes i've got fat fucking tiddies, because I guess that matters here 🙄"

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

oh noooooo. my friend is moving back from Europe to the US, shes currently mid flight and I can’t tell her the chocolate she took is shrooms not weed.

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

1 year

I have an almost 2 year old baby brother named Charlie and my only goal is to teach him to respond “good morning angels” when someone says “good morning Charlie”

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED

2 years

I shit you not I was about to jerk off when a spider crawled across my vibrator and now I’m shaking crying and throwing up dry as a bone

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Haley OC

@MILFWEEED