Lord Lustwig @Lord_of_Saarl Twitter profile

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

Signs to know you have entered an overpriced restaurant.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@jamwilkes The Drug dealer who sold you the house. "ya welcome"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

I am not mad that you share my indomie with me, just pick one and finish it... Pls when you eat poison, can you die where everyone can see you...why will you make both your life and death difficult for me?😩

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

2 years

@Reeejoiceee @Naija_PR Nothing is too difficult for the Lord to do except giving you sense.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@Nkub_ella @NaijaViralz @__Lhee I'm not sorry but your take on the matter is more stupid than the hoe up there. Criminals don't tell cops when to arrest them.. "why are you arresting me today because I killed your son 4yrs ago... Don't you know today is my birthday?" 😅😅Didirin

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

E sure me die, this one sells agbo underwater

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@OG_Gusto23 "What's your name ? " Rubin X" "What's your name?" "HE SAID HIS NAME IS RUBIN X"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

1. Waiter If the waiters are dressing better than you or you are wearing same waistcoat as waiter. Run...just be going

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

I have never seen any movie where Kanayo was initiated....Like everyone meets him there.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

4. Temperature If the room is freezing cold like abroad airport especially when you can’t see where the cold is coming from....they are about to use you to pay the restaurant tax. It’s a trick to cool you down The Colder the Colder.....

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@foIkery "I ain't telling you shit... Sock my dick!"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

2. Menu Menu is different from brochure. If the menu is laminated you can even curse the manager but if you see menu wey look like office journal hardcover with no pricing you are “Died” You what? You RAAAN

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@GET_FRESH_Food @CheeseCakePCK 4 year old kid in the shop Kid-“ how’s biz “ ? Me-“ very good “ Kid -“ that’s good , you’ve a fine shop here “ Me “ er..thanks “ Kids -“ it be a shame if something were to happen to this fine shop...don’t you think so Sonny?”

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

3. Music Please if the restaurant is playing Frank Sinatra or Jazz or even Violin you made mistake. If it’s African hits...still be careful . ⚠️ if you hear Sade Adu or Fela in the background. Just wash plate

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

5. Lighting I don’t need to explain too much. You see Chandelier hanging over you with gold light...you don enter museum. You still dey follow waiter talk..ok

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

"You didn't tell me you were married " "I myself didnt even know my dear"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

2 years

@SaintAlia10191 @Q_Review Your guy will have a boner I guess.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@sawuulL @1DJPowerPlay FBI: *holding your most wanted poster

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

When he was reported to the School authorities but they suspended the person he beat up. "The schools hQ is on his land....not his father's own ..his land".

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@lilyeliza1 @isabellrrose You guys look alike

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@shiooth @xclaudius @nellarose Now I understand why judges actually count all your counts instead of just saying life...

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@_swavyk7 @Miradoll19 I have searched for my nose for an hour.... Weed is from Satan don't do it..... 😔

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@Mardigraz718 @ZOEDATWAY2 She will not just accept him...she will see him

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

After flogging that boy I ll drag him to don jazzy to record his first song for audition. If he doesn't get the contract..that's another cane again.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

8. Mode of Payment When the payment option is too much ..I’m not talking of Cash or Atm darling. “Sir we also take bitcoin”kind of payment.. Dorime ! If you no wash I wan know why

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@PIXIEG1RL @ArobSZN What the eternal fuck?

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

6. Customers Check well o. Look at what the men are wearing to gauge..not the ladies..the men!! You see man wearing shoe you still dey sit well ok.. No offense but if you see Mumbai people or Chinese be calm. If it’s Lebanese or actual Americans /whites you are finished

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@isabellrrose Same

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@shabloinkz @Raikage419 This man is a visionary..he has written over 4billion books...he has seen all the Prophets...this man died and resurrected.....he has spread the gospel even in hell....he tutored Moses...a spiritual father to Elijah... Pls give it up for bishop Pope lord Adam Abednego

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

7. Car Park Bro a Ferrari or Gwagon are littered and security (that is dressing like paramilitary ) is checking your booth before they scan your Iris before you enter. If the car park is a building..reverse Go to Mama Cass Parking fee is the beginning of your woesss

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

This coil kills everything that flies....even Edo people😞

nugeezz

@nugeezz

5 years

Sco pa tu manaa

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

Orrr we attended actual schools, not the ones that anything can just come and teach you becus una no get fence😂😊

Big Deacon ⛪️

@Bams_Jnr

6 years

If Ken Katas never visited your secondary school, na summer lesson you go.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@idkron_ All these clout to bring an imaginary nigga down... 😑. You see why people deserve some issues at times

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

7 years

@freespiritabby @theGrio Unbreak my heart... Tell me this issa lie 🎶

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@glitzy_cynthia "why are you here?" "outside is too hot.... Abeg jail me small abeg"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

Or the one where the owner of the restaurant dey form greeting and selfie with client.. “Valentine is a day of love...Hope our experience is up to par guys...let’s make a memory together “ Manager:

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

If I am going to die from high cholesterol at least let it be McDonald's.... not ₦1000 oil ₦20beans

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

9. Location. When Google map is excited to even suggest the location...you don mess up. You are narrowing down search to Lekki,Ikoyi...or serious ikeja you like pain. You go to Ikeja ..Jokes on you!!! Ajah/Sangotedo is not island ... so you are safe。

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

“Did you get all what I said?” Lekki Waiter: yes sir it’s connected to my neuralink database sir. Osheyyy Elon Musk

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

7 months

@47kasz Man wey like younger ladies: Creep, Pedo Woman wey like younger men: MILF, cougar lol 😂

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@DominiqueLaRoux This isn't a homie... Its a homelet...

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

ALWAYS CHECK THE TOILET Music and AC follow you enter toilet and the flush na button. Soap to wash hand na Lynx gel . Run. Leave the person that is waiting for you.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

#OAUvsUNILAG When OAU guys go on excursion to Unilag. Oau : see life

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@Justzeebah Chioma:

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

Miscellaneous If you are in this category it’s already late. Food portion When the serving is like sample of the food, when they serve you oyster or caviar. Different size of spoon (when spoon is heavy asf)

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

ALWAYS CHECK THE CEILING PLEASE If the ceiling reminds you of the Vatican or there’s one painting hanging around. If they even get statue and Nice background

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@steviesburner3 @shannonsharpeee This officer is more likely to get you killed 😂

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@OG_Gusto23 The guy was struggling....

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@shiooth @xclaudius @nellarose If I were the judge " you are sentenced to a total of....... *laughs* nigga do you have a cousin that can share this time with you?"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

"What advice will you give young entrepreneurs on their journey to wealth? " Kanayo: Start from family... Blood is thicker than water

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@maintishe He got his shot, can't he shoot his?

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

Excellent Customer Care They send you email appreciating you ...how dem get my email I no know. “We the Le Varous say a big thank you for your excellent patronage. We pride ourselves in giving customers the best experience “

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

@ms_SIB @Mdudemeister Clarence shot it 😞

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

@blvckmoose @EmanKellam @thatgoddess____ "Magdona"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@Ibrahim__mk When the dentist invites you for your appointment. Dentist :

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@iam_kingsize In my twisted world of justice. Those men forfeited the right to live when they became robbers. Executing them cold doesn't move one hair on my body. Life is hard, anything you see you collect.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@chiropractorrs When he was holding her head

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

The Audacity to now put Donation Jar outside “For Every dollar you donate...a child will have brea.....” Lagosians:

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

7 years

Question 1. What is N36million cash doing in Jamb office 2. When did money become part of the menu in a snake's diet 3. What and why is a snake here in the first place? 4. Why is this news page verified? 5. Why is Nigeria useless like this? 6. Who did we offend? 😐

Daily Post Nigeria

@DailyPostNGR

7 years

Strange snake swallows N36 million cash in JAMB office

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@eggfamily08 @NewCuIture Probably it's owner was showing weakness

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 months

+ 𝒋

@joe4realzz

4 months

ⓘ You have a fine face card show it off

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@mz_curio I ll tell them “eyssss that’s on you...I bought the dip...okay?”

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

Highlights of today o...

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@RapUp You attend his house...you don't visit

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@ChickFilA_atI @ifeekaffy Chicken : why is the deep fryer working? Me:

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@rebecca_spero They say scan you sef bring out phone 😂

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@princesskelly65 @effodu 😂 wait so you take flight to Canada Go to a strangers home My dear you will be a witness and prosecutor and evidence in your own case . What’s funny is you think you have sense 😢,

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@luis1907_ "milk and bread right?..... On my way"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@Keef_Cakez @slim_lay Here we go again 😂

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@dodo The African in me :

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

The younger the mallam, the higher your chances of appearing in LUTH. STAY AWAY from those ones that dress "fresh" wear ring and glasses...

Dotun Omiyale.jpeg

@the_bigdot

6 years

Unpopular Opinion: Ibadan Bikemen

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

7 years

@theGrio This is fucked up

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

Me and Mum

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@FabulousssFaith Tyler Perry:

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@DONJAZZY I choose Chiwetalu...that one is wicked ..he doesn't do it for money so junior will suffer but not die. Umez will kill the boy because he is impotent...use him for jazz But you see Kanayo...He will invest the boy in spiritual bit coin.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

Happy Birthday to me 😭😭 I don the old +1 💃 💃 💃 🎂 🎂 🎊 🎊 🎈

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@MbejeMsizie @Eminem While you were drawing Eminem it's asif you got carried away and started drawing fabrigas then you got distracted and started drawing Suarez.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

Jehovah Witness Magazines be like. "IS YOUR ETERNAL DRIP SECURE?"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

Yaay I got balloons. 🎉

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

@CVRAMELL @Unklemoon I did that in school and was nearly rusticated because security caught her weeping and shaking...😞 She didnt want to be saved😢

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@Rubielanshi @ayothecreator Mama abeg leave your kjv mode,... Ogini spoils of battle? The turkey you dey chop, wetin that one be? Prisoner of War? 😂

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

"The abortion was too successful both mother and child died " Me:

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@HolyDevool

5 years

Bomboclaat

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

"the problem is social media and beer and indecent dressing"

Naija

@Naija_PR

4 years

6-year-old girl allegedly raped and murdered in Kaduna, body dumped in cemetery

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

Vini..Vidi...Vinci...😆 I fought the good fight....Unilag and I showed each other pepper. Forgive the Preacher pose....

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

"when did Nigeria become a republic?" A 1963 B 1874 C 1960 D 1964 Me: 🚶 away with my N5k

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

#NewProfilePic

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

When Mompha orders dominos and they ask for his address. Mompha:

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

@th_saleem Me as a dad looking at the boys..... Let Uju pick you say you no move... You will move

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

7 years

#EndSARS When Armed robbers are chasing you and you see SARS ahead. Me: they have surrounded me.. 😭😭😭😭😭

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

6 years

@IbkThePlug The kid is even sad too....but I cant do that to my kid....it's my freaking kid that has part of me.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@_Dr_Feel_Good_ @tttaaavvviii You are extremely Daft. 1. Someone is clearly reaching out for a damn gun and the cop is playing Nanny to comfort him. 2. A guy is in a car and dude is fiddling a firearm? "cops kill people using the (, he was reaching)"

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

You go dey answer question dem no ask you... “Swiss kebab will go well with it Sir” *scribbles order wey e papa go sort “Scratch that... I don’t really like Swiss kebab I am lactose intolerant “

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

If this one gets on her knees ..she will be sucking my head....my head o...😭😭😭😭

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

3 years

Me: contemplating breaking my @PiggyBankNG savings

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@_x0melanie @_freejosh A video will suffice

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

7 years

@freespiritabby @theGrio Why do I have this feeling that some of y'all are singing to this 😂

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

@throatgoatlisa Wait his son is a grandfather /grandmother? Damnnn he looks like a grandfather in his late 70s

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

4 years

Don't mind the face, stress of family wedding. 😂. Yesterday was a blast. Best man for hire.

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Lord Lustwig

@Lord_of_Saarl

5 years

@nachkirkland @BruceWilliams__ @TheGabster_ House could literally finger you to remove a parasitic bug that no one saw to save your life.....and you would be ungratefully grateful...

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