Hopefully Cricket Australia conduct an internal investigation and suspend Hazlewood for one match. Plus any other players who’ve pondered doing this. If that means they can’t field a team and have to forfeit to Scotland, that’s a small price to pay for integrity.
#T20WorldCup
If, as seems inevitable now, Australia escape with a draw, this will be an absolutely thumping moral victory for England. Add in the two moral victories in the first two Tests and this series has been a total moral thrashing. Concerning for Cummins and his team.
#Ashes
If Stokes loses the Ashes because he’s having too much fun watching his lads have a thrash to remember to declare in time to win the Test, that may be the most Bazball thing in existence.
Feel sorry for proper England cricket fans who have Piers Morgan as their loudest, stupidest representative. Imagine if, I dunno, Pauline Hanson or somebody was always talking absolute shit about cricket. Unbearable.
Australia have been very unlucky here. If this Test had been played in Sydney, it would’ve been rained out. Instead, it’s in Nagpur. Fine margins such as these can decide a series.
#INDvAUS
#BorderGavaskarTrophy
If I were England, I'd probably drop Bairstow for the final Test. Not based on form, or anything. Just because it'd be funny to leave him stranded on 99 for a bit and see how he reacts.
#INDvENG
So far in this
#Ashes
series, England have learnt about the existence of such things as opponents protecting the boundary, rain and stumpings. Can’t wait to see what shock element of the sport awaits their startled eyes at the Oval.
I genuinely hope at some point during this
#Ashes
series, England name an eleven a day early and then give a completely different side to Cummins at the toss. That's the kind of Bazball antics I can get behind.
🚨 England make one change to their playing XI from the first
#ENGvAUS
Test
Josh Tongue replaces Moeen Ali for the match at Lord's against Australia 🔁
#CricketTwitter
Whereas stupid old Tim Paine was sprawled over FOUR business class seats, smoking a cigar and demanding Starc bring him fresh champagne every 5 minutes.
Then he extinguished his stogie on Hazlewood’s face and ordered Cummins to dance for him.
“I’m your skipper, now!” he roared.
Witnessed
@imVkohli
& his wife give up their Business class seats to allow the Quicks more comfort & space on the trip from Adelaide - Perth !! Danger Australia .. Not only are the quicks more relaxed .. The Skipper is managing his troops with great human touches
#AUSvIND
Sad to see the moral decline of the Fab Four (Williamson claiming dropped catches, Kohli fake fielding, Root playing golf). Thank goodness we still have Steven Peter Devereux Smith flying the flag for all that is good and proper in cricket.
Mike Hussey suggesting that Australia will want to keep batting in this innings, whereas England will want to bowl them out. Great analysis. That's why they call him Mr Cricket, I guess.
#Ashes
I'm enjoying the English post-mortems on their World Cup non-defence. I particularly like this one from Nasser Hussain, where he bemoans how difficult it is, because England have to play both Ashes and World Cups.
Poor old England. No other nation understands how hard that is.
England saw that when they dumped their coach, Australia almost immediately did the same, just in a far more dramatic way. So, sensibly, they then dumped their two most experienced fast bowlers. Nice try, England, but we're not falling for this trick a second time.
Funny how history rhymes sometimes.
Bradman needed four runs in his last innings to average 100 in Tests.
Finch needed 6289 in his last innings to average 100 in the BBL.
Both scored ducks.
Genuinely kinda spooky.
#BBL13
As if I wasn’t already stupidly jealous of him, the very handsome man who is captain of the Australian cricket team and one of the best bowlers in the world delivers a perfectly constructed joke.
It would be hilarious if Australia’s batters got their shit together today and tomorrow and chased this target down effortlessly. (They won’t, of course, but it’d be very funny if they did. (But they won’t. (Funny if they did, though. (They won’t.))))
#Ashes
Something has genuinely broken in Warne's brain. Now claiming that Pucovski needs to prove his 'toughness' on coming back from concussion. Prove that he 'wants it', whatever the fuck that means.
Australian fans working hard to plot a line that allows it to be okay for Marnus to substitute for Smith and dominate the Ashes but not okay for Chahal to substitute for Jadeja and dominate a random T20.
The kind of precision work that Australia does best. We'll get there.
“It’s different, it’s different,” Piers cries, his throat raw from repeating the mantra, as he bravely swats away at each and every one of the dozens of examples of England players and coaches taking wickets in similarly clever ways. He will not back down. Facts are for the weak.
If India keep getting rid of established Test cricketers, they could rock up to a hypothetical fifth Test with some net bowlers and a few dudes they found in the crowd and win by an innings.
#AUSvIND
“The third umpire will have to check if that’s a Chemist Warehouse four or a Toyota six. The Bunnings replay is showing that the Toblerone boundary toblerone has been hit by the Cherry Ripe ball on the half-Dunlop volley. A tricky one for the Samsung TV Umpire.”
#BBL12
I am, however, genuinely tickled that his final Ashes moment in Australia was defending an over of Steve Smith leg spin to save a Test.
A great batter and great bowler facing off, game on the line, both steadfastly applying their wrong skill sets. What a wonderfully silly sport.
It would definitely be helpful if England fans would let us all know when we’re strictly going by the letter of the Laws and when we have to go by their vague vibes.
#Ashes
Bairstow technically out under the laws but to get a Lord's crowd singing "same old Aussies, always cheating" takes some doing. Yes it is out but remember only a few years back how it all ended in tears for this 'win at all costs' attitude from Australia.
I’m genuinely not convinced Stokes has a high pain threshold at all. Quite the reverse. He seems to be in constant agony about things that are so objectively minor that they don’t hinder his ability to play cricket in any way.
#Ashes
If England fans think Australians on Twitter are complaining too much about the ball change they should be thankful they don’t get to hear Callum Ferguson and Ian Healy back in the studio.
#Ashes
Rob Key is doing spectacular work finding topics of conversation for this Test. Seamlessly moving the subject along. I hope the next pitch is just as dead so we can see how long he can go.
#PAKvAUS
Completely disagree with this.
1. India were never going to lose. 2. It’s extremely unlikely they’ll need NRR to separate themselves from other teams in the table.
3. The century made his fans happy.
4. Round numbers are cool and universally praised.
What’s the problem?
#CWC23
Australia cancelling their tour of Afghanistan for ethical reasons would have probably been more impactful if they didn’t have such a long track record of cancelling tours to and from smaller cricketing nations for no legitimate reason whatsoever.
Frankly amazing to me that Australia are still in with a chance to win this given the absolute litany of cowardly and foolhardy errors the commentators have spent the entire Test assuring me they’ve been making.
#Ashes
I unironically adore how mad this is. “We refuse to defend our title because it uses the word ‘defence’, which is not what we’re about. We shall instead be savagely attacking the prospect of the future absence of our title.”
England are the World Cup holders – but Jos Buttler is pushing back against the label of ‘defending champions’:
“It’s probably the word I don't like: I want us to attack.”
👉
(Batter hits a boundary)
Indian commentator: This sublime genius, his unparalleled skill giving us a glimpse into the heavenly realms, the crack of the bat a transcendent song welcoming us into a higher state of bliss
Australian commentator: Yes, but also shit bowling.
#INDvAUS
Pretty disappointing that the third umpire gave that one out based solely on the snicko evidence when KL Rahul is CLEARLY shaking his head 'no'.
#ENGvIND
This is madness. There’s nothing to think about. If the ECB let him play one second more of white ball cricket they’re crazy. He’s a brilliant Test captain with a time bomb for a knee. Every second of cricket he can muster before it goes off should be leading the Test side.
3,892 people have played Test cricket since 1877.
Just 12 among them have a career high score of 99 in the format.
2 of those 12 are a married couple.
#AUSvSA
Correct decision. Brook smashed the door down in the series against NZ with his 37 runs from three innings at a strike rate of 54. Left the selectors with no choice.
England have confirmed their 15-player squad for the 2023 ICC Men's Cricket World Cup in India.
Following the series against New Zealand, Harry Brook has replaced Jason Roy.
What do you make of that decision?
Wonderful to see that for the third year in a row, Wisden's Leading Cricketer in the World has been English. A side blessed with greatness within their ranks. No wonder they've proven so indomitable in recent times.
Fucken hell. Australia apparently now at grave risk of getting a reputation as a team who will stump their opponents when they’re out of their crease. Something to think about for sure.
“It takes a long time to build a reputation but only one act to smash it down ... it’s important that we don’t bend the rules, we play fair"
Justin Langer, Lord's, 2018
People may question Finch’s spot in the side but he’s literally nine times the size of his tiny team mates. Has to be captain. It’d look silly otherwise
#T20WorldCup
You rarely hear such understandable delight in a commentator’s voice as you do from Atherton each time a Warner dismissal to Broad inches him one step closer to overtaking his record against McGrath.
#Ashes